M is for MALICE

by Sue Grafton

  “Go ahead and talk, Bennet. I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

  “All right. Okay. I might as well level with you because the truth isn’t nearly as bad as you think.”

  “How do you know what I think? I think you cheated the Maddisons out of fifty thousand dollars’ worth of rare documents.”

  “Now wait a minute. Now wait. We didn’t mean any harm. It was just a prank. We wanted to go to Vegas, but we were broke. We didn’t have a dime between us. All we wanted was a few bucks. We were only kids,” he said.

  “Kids? You weren’t kids. You were twenty-three years old. You committed a felony. Is that your rationalization, calling it a prank? You should have gone to prison.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. It got out of hand. We never thought we could pull it off and by the time we realized how serious it was, we didn’t have the courage to admit what we’d done.”

  “It didn’t seem to bother you to blame Guy,” I said.

  “Listen, he was gone. And he’d done all that other stuff. The family was down on him and Dad just assumed. We were assholes. I know that. We were wrong. I’ve never felt right about it since.”

  “Well, that absolves you,” I said. “What happened to the letters? Where are they?”

  “Paul has them at his place. I told him to destroy them, but he couldn’t bear to do it. He’s been afraid to put them in circulation.”

  I could feel my mouth pull down with disgust. “So you didn’t even get the money? You are a creep,” I said. “Let’s talk about Patty.”

  “The baby wasn’t mine. I swear. I never screwed her.”

  “Paul did, didn’t he? And so did Jack.”

  “A lot of fellas screwed her. She didn’t care.”

  “Not Guy. He never laid a hand on her,” I said.

  “Not Guy,” he repeated. “I guess that’s true.”

  “So whose baby was it?”

  “Probably Jack’s,” Bennet said. “But that doesn’t mean he killed Guy. I didn’t either. I wouldn’t do that,” he said.

  “Oh, come on. Grow up. You never accepted any responsibility for what happened, the whole lot of you. You let Guy take the blame for everything you did. Even when he came back, you never let him off the hook.”

  “What was I supposed to say? It was too late by then.”

  “Not for him, Bennet. Guy was still alive at that point. Flow, it’s too late.”

  I looked up to see Enid standing by the hedge. I had no idea how much she’d overheard. She said, “Your partner’s on the phone. The police are on the way.”

  I moved past Enid and walked down the short flight of stairs, crossing the patio to the kitchen door. I found the handset on the counter and I picked it up. “It’s me. What’s going on?”

  “Are you all right? You sound bad.”

  “I can’t stop to tell you. It would take too long. I should have fallen on Bennet and beat the man to death.”

  “Catch this. I just had a chat with the private investigator in Bridgeport, Connecticut. This gal was at the courthouse when she called in to pick up messages. She went right to the clerk and filled out a request for Claire Maddison’s death certificate.”

  “What was the cause of death?”

  “There wasn’t one,” he said. “As long as she was at it, she made a couple more phone calls and got her last known address. According to the utility company, Claire was living in Bridgeport until last March.”

  “How did the Dispatch end up printing her obituary?”

  “Because she sent them one. No one ever asked for proof. I called the Dispatch myself and verified the whole procedure. They take down the information and they print it as given.”

  “She made the whole thing up?”

  “I’m sure she did,” he said.

  “So where did she go?”

  “I’m just getting to that. This PI in Bridgeport picked up one more little item. Claire never worked as a teacher. She was a private-duty nurse.”

  “Shit.”

  “That’s what I said. I’m coming over. Don’t do anything until I get there,” he said.

  “What’s to do? I can’t move.”

  How long did I stand at the kitchen counter with the phone in my hand? In a flash, I could see how all the pieces fit. I was missing a few answers, but the rest of them finally fell into place. Somehow Claire Maddison heard about Bader’s terminal illness. She shipped the Dispatch an obituary just to close that door. She turned herself into Myrna Sweetzer, packed her personal belongings, and headed back to Santa Teresa. Bader was difficult. As a patient, he was probably close to impossible. He must have gone through a number of private duty nurses, so it was only a matter of Myrna’s biding her time. Once she was in the house, the family was hers. She had waited a long time, but the chance to wreak havoc must have been something she savored.

  I tried to put myself in her place. Where was she now? She’d accomplished much of her mission, so it was time to fade. She’d left her car, her handbag, and all her clothes. What would I do if I were Claire Maddison? The whole psychodrama of the missing Myrna was just a cover for her escape. She must have pictured the cops digging up the property, looking for a body that was never there. To have the disappearance play out properly, she had to make an exit without being seen, which ruled out a taxicab. She might steal a car, but that was risky on the face of it. And how would she leave town? Would she hitchhike? A motorist passing through might never be aware that anyone was missing or presumed dead. Plane, train, or bus?

  She might have a confederate, but much of what she’d done to date required a solitary cunning. She’d been gone more than an hour ��� plenty of time to walk through the back of the property to the road. I lifted my head. I could hear voices in the foyer. The cops had probably arrived. I didn’t want to go through this whole rigmarole. Enid was saying, “It was just so unlike her so I called…”

  I slipped out the backdoor, race walking across the patio and out to the driveway. I got in my car and turned the key in the ignition. My brain was clicking along, trying to make sense of circumstances. Claire Maddison was alive and had been living in Santa Teresa since last spring. I wasn’t really sure how she’d managed the setup, but I was relatively certain she was responsible for Guy’s death. She’d also gone to some lengths to implicate the others, setting it up so that Jack looked guilty, with Bennet as the backup in case the evidence of Jack’s culpability failed to persuade the police.

  The gate swung open in front of me. I reached the road and turned left, trying to picture the way the property was laid out in relation to the surrounding terrain. I didn’t imagine she’d head into the Los Padres National Forest. The mountain was too steep and too inhospitable. It was possible, of course, that in the last eighteen years, Claire Maddison had become an expert at living in the wild. Maybe she planned to make a new home for herself among the scrub oaks and chaparral, feasting on wild berries, sucking moisture from cactus pads. More likely, she’d simply crossed the few acres of undeveloped land that lay between the Maleks’ and the road. Bader had purchased everything within range, so it was possible she was still trudging across acreage he owned.

  I tried to think what she’d do once she hit the main artery. She could choose left or right, setting out in either direction on foot. She could have hidden a bicycle somewhere in the brush. She might depend on her ability to thumb a ride. Maybe she’d called a taxicab and had it waiting when she emerged on the road. Again, I dismissed that option because I didn’t really think she’d take the risk. She wouldn’t want to have anyone who could identify or describe her later. She might have purchased another vehicle and parked on a side street, gassed up and ready to be driven away. I tried to remember what I knew of her and realized just how little it was. She was approaching forty. She was overweight. She made no effort to enhance her personal appearance. Given cultural standards, she’d made herself invisible. Ours is a society in which slimness and beauty are equated with status, where youth and ch
arm are rewarded and remembered with admiration. Let a woman be drab or slightly overweight and the collective eye slides right by, forgetting afterward. Claire Maddison had achieved the ultimate disguise because, aside from the physical, she’d adopted the persona of the servant class. Who knows what conversations she’d been privy to straightening the bed pillows, changing the sheets. She’d run the household, served canap��s, and freshened the drinks while the lords and ladies of the house had talked on and on, oblivious to her presence because she wasn’t one of them. For Claire, it had been perfect. Their dismissal of her would have fueled her bitterness and hardened her determination to take revenge. Why should this family, largely made up of fakes, enjoy the privileges of money while she had nothing? Because of them, she’d been cheated of her family, her medical career. She’d been robbed, violated, and abused, and for this she blamed Guy.

  I was now on the two-lane road that I was guessing defined the Malek property along its southernmost boundary. I found a city map in my glove compartment and flapped it open as I drove. I made a clumsy fold and propped it up against the steering wheel, searching for routes while I tried not to ram into telephone poles. I started with the obvious, turning off at the first street, driving in a grid. I should have waited for Dietz. One of us could have been watching for pedestrians while the other drove. How far could she get?

  I returned to the main road and drove on for maybe half a mile. I spotted her tramping along a hundred yards ahead of me. She was wearing jeans and good walking shoes, toting a backpack, no hat. I rolled down the window on the passenger side. As soon as she heard the rattle of my VW, she glanced once in my direction and then stared doggedly at the pavement in front of her.

  “Myrna, I want to talk to you.”

  “Well, I don’t want to talk to you.”

  I idled alongside her while cars coming up behind me honked impatiently. I motioned them around, keeping an eye fixed on Myrna who trudged on, tears running down her face. I gunned the engine, speeding off, pulling into the berm well ahead of her. I turned the engine off and got out, walking back to meet her.

  “Come on, Myrna. Slow down. It’s finally over,” I said.

  “No, it’s not. It’s never over until they pay up.”

  “Yeah, but how much? Listen, I understand how you feel. They took everything you had.”

  “The bastards,” she said.

  “Myrna…”

  “My name is Claire.”

  “All right, Claire then. Here’s the truth. You killed the wrong man. Guy never did anything to you or to your family. He’s the only one who ever treated Patty well.”

  “Liar. You’re lying. You made that up.”

  I shook my head. “Patty slept around. You know she had problems. Those were wild times. Dope and free love. We were all goofy with goodwill, with the notion of world peace. Remember? She was a flower child, and innocent.”

  “She was schizophrenic,” Claire spat.

  “Okay. I’ll take your word for it. She probably did LSD. She ate mushrooms. She stuck herself with things. And all the fellows took advantage of her, except Guy. I promise. He really cared about her. He told me about her and he was wistful and loving. He’d tried to get in touch. He wrote to her once, but she was dead by then. He had no idea. All he knew was he never heard from her and he felt bad about that.”

  “He was a turd.”

  “All right. He was a turd. He did a lot of shitty things back then, but at heart, he was a good man. Better than his brothers. They took advantage of him. Patty probably wished the baby was his, but it wasn’t.”

  “Whose then?”

  “Jack’s. Paul Trasatti’s. I’m not really sure how many men she slept with. Guy didn’t forge the letters, either. That was Bennet and Paul, a little scheme they cooked up to earn some money that spring.”

  “They took everything away from me. Everything.”

  “I know. And now you’ve taken something away from them.”

  “What?” she said, her eyes blazing with disdain.

  “You took the only decent man who ever bore the Malek name.”

  “Bader was decent.”

  “But he never made good. Your mother asked him for the money and he refused to pay.”

  “I didn’t blame him for that.”

  “Too bad. You blamed Guy instead and he was innocent.”

  “Fuck off,” she said.

  “What else? What’s the rest? I know there’s more to this,” I said. “You wrote the anonymous letter to Guy, the one the cops have, right?”

  “Of course. Don’t be dumb. I wrote all the letters up on Bennet’s machine. For Guy’s letter, I used the Bible. I thought he’d like that… a message from Deuteronomy… ‘And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear day and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life.’ You like that?”

  “Very apt. A good choice,” I said.

  “That’s not all, doll. You missed the best part… the obvious… you and that fancy-pants probate attorney. I found both wills months ago when I first started working here. I searched through Bader’s files every chance I had. I tore up the second will so someone would have to go out looking for Guy. You did all the work for me. I appreciate that.”

  “What about the blood in your bathroom? Where did that come from?”

  She held her thumb up. “I used a lancet. I left a couple drops on the patio and another in the truck. There’s a shovel behind the tool shed. That’s got blood on it, too.”

  “What about the dirt and gravel on the bathroom floor?”

  “I thought Donovan should have a turn in the barrel. Didn’t you think of him when you saw it?”

  “Actually he did cross my mind. I’d have gone after him if I hadn’t figured out what was going on. But what now? None of this is going to work. The whole plan’s caving in. Trying to hike out was dumb. You weren’t that hard to find.”

  “So what? I’m out of here. I’m tired. Get away from me,” she said.

  “Myrna…” I said, patiently.

  “It’s Claire,” she snapped. “What do you want?”

  “I want the killing to stop. I want the dying to end. I want Guy Malek to rest easy wherever he is.”

  “I don’t care about Guy,” she said. Her voice quaked with emotion and her face looked drawn and tense.

  “What about Patty? Don’t you think she’d care?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve lost track. I thought I’d feel better, but I don’t.” She walked on down the road with me trotting after her. “There aren’t any happy endings. You have to take what you get.”

  “There may not be a happy ending, but there are some that satisfy.”

  “Name one.”

  “Come back. Own up to what you did. Turn and face your demons before they eat you alive.”

  She was weeping freely, and in some curious way, she seemed very beautiful, touched with grace. She turned and started walking backward, her arm out, hand turned up, as though thumbing a ride. I was walking at the same pace, the two of us face-to-face. She caught my eye and smiled, shot a look over her shoulder to check for traffic coming the other way.

  We had reached an intersection. There was a wide curve in the road ahead. The stoplight had changed and cars had surged forward, picking up speed. Even now, I’m not certain what she meant to do. For a moment, she looked at me fully and then she made a dash for it, flinging herself into the line of traffic like a diver plunging off a board. I thought she might escape destruction because the first vehicle missed her and a second car seemed to bump her without injury or harm. The drivers in both lanes were slamming on their brakes, swerving to avoid her. She ran on, stumbling as she entered the far lane. An oncoming car caught her and she sailed overhead, as limp as a rag doll, as joyous as a bird.

  Epilogue

  *

  Peter and Winnie Antle came down for Guy’s funeral service, which Peter conducted Monday afternoon. I thought the Maleks might object, but they seemed to th
ink better of it. Tasha agreed to submit Guy’s holographic will for probate and eventually his portion of the estate will be passed on to jubilee Evangelical Church. I said nothing of Claire’s destruction of the second will. Guy deserved his fair share and I don’t think the family will make a fuss about his final wishes.

  Last night, Guy Malek came to me in a dream. I don’t remember now what the dream was about. It was a dream like any other, set in a landscape only half familiar, filled with events that didn’t quite make sense. I remember feeling such relief. He was alive and whole and so very like himself. Somehow in the dream, I knew he’d come to say good-bye. I’d never had a chance to tell him how much he’d meant to me. I hadn’t known him long, but some people simply affect us that way. Their sojourn is brief, but their influence is profound.

  I clung to him. He didn’t speak. He never said a word, but I knew he wanted me to let him go. He was far too polite to chide me for my reluctance. He didn’t hurry me along; but he let me know what he needed. In the dream, I remember weeping. I thought if I refused, he would be mine to keep. I thought he could be with me forever, but:! it doesn’t work that way. His time on earth was done; He had other places to go.

  In the end, I set him free, not in sorrow, but in love. It wasn’t for me. It was something I did for him. When I woke, I knew that he was truly gone. The tears I wept for him then were the same tears I’d wept for everyone I’d ever loved. My parents, my aunt. I had never said good-bye to them, either, but it was time to take care of it. I said a prayer for the dead, opening the door so all the ghosts could move on. I gathered them up like the petals of a flower and released them to the wind. What’s done is done. What is written is written. Their work is finished. Ours is yet to do.