Beyond Blue Frontiers

by Cecilia Randell

  “The apology pennies?”

  She nodded, her cheek rubbing along his chest.

  “Yeah. We’ve never used them, have we?”

  “Never needed to.”

  “I feel like I should apologize, but I’m not going to.” His tone was stern, but there was an underlying warmth she needed to hear. “Mo’ata and I talked. It was… interesting. And I needed some time to think things over.” The arm not wrapped around her shoulders came up, and he smoothed a finger over her cheek. “I lied. I do need to apologize. I’ve been too cavalier about this whole relationship. You asked me once if I was sure, if this was what I wanted. I laughed it off with a joke about ducks. Not very mature, huh?”

  She stroked a hand down his chest, watching as the muscles twitched. “What I did wasn’t any better. I should have told you about Trevon, what happened. Everything I said earlier was true—about why I kept the perfume, why I didn’t tell you about the kiss. It really wasn’t anything, not really. But a tiny part of me can’t let it go. And you were right—I didn’t trust you, not on this. I mean, it can’t be that easy for you. I think that’s what’s always bothered me. You always seemed so accepting, even encouraging, of this… this idea of me being with more than one person. Part of me can’t believe you aren’t secretly resentful.”

  “Why?”

  “Because… because it can’t be that easy. You can’t just look up one day and say, ‘Oh, the girl I like likes some other guys too? Cool.’ That doesn’t just happen.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says… I have no idea.” She gave a small laugh.

  “Comes back to that trust thing, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But I never gave you a reason to trust me, not on this,” he said, his voice rough.

  “You never gave me a reason not to.”

  “Then the first time something happens, really happens, that would test this experiment we’ve got going, I walk out and leave you hanging.”

  “You had a reason.”

  He laughed. “I think we’ve got the roles confused here. I said I wasn’t going to apologize, and all I’ve been trying to do is just that. But you won’t let me.”

  “I’m saying you don’t need to because there is nothing to apologize for.”

  “And I say there is. Let me have this one, Blue.” He turned to his side and shifted until they were face to face. “Trust takes time to build. I didn’t let that happen. I said I wasn’t going to apologize because I’m glad this came up. It’s something we both needed to look at, to examine. And I realized something. I didn’t trust you either. Part of me was just waiting for you to look at me and figure out that… I’m lacking, that I’m not as good.” He closed his eyes, and a pained look crossed his face. “Shit, Blue, some of these guys… I mean, Mo’ata himself, if I were into guys, I’d be all over that. Fucker’s perfect. Trevon is a powerful guy, Levi is like a fighting god, and Felix, well, let’s just say I would not want to meet him in a dark alley. Who am I? I’m some kid from Earth who got tangled up in an adventure and has nothing to offer.” He swallowed, hard.

  She waited, sensing he wasn’t done. He had to get this all out.

  His eyes, those bright blue eyes, opened, and their gazes locked. “Even Jason can give you more than I can; he has those connections to the Ministry. And they all care for you, to some degree or another. I can see it. So no, I didn’t trust you. But it’s more like I didn’t trust that this would work, even though I want it to. I want you any way I can have you, and I want you happy. More than anything, I want you happy.” His forehead met hers, and he breathed heavily.

  What did she say to that? What could she say? Try the truth. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.” He stiffened, and she hurried to continue. “I would still be on Earth, preparing for college. Well, haring off into some third world country, then going to college. I’d be writing, probably, and maybe working on my list. It would be hell. Because I’d always wonder what if. I’d always wonder, Forrest. You’re the one who gave me the courage to try. You’re the one who… crap, I don’t know how to say this.” Blue closed her eyes, seeking the right words. “You’re home. You feel like home. You’re my safe place, where I can go when I need to rest or recover. You’re my stable place.” She put a few inches between them, wanting to see his expression. “I couldn’t do this, any of this, without you.”

  He smiled, and it was a little sad. “I think you could. I don’t know how I feel about being the safe one, though.”

  “Oh, it’s a good thing. I probably won’t ever kick you. Or want to knife you. Well, maybe, but probably not.” She searched his face. “I kicked Trevon earlier.”

  “Yeah, I saw.”

  “It was a hard hit too. I totally told him off. Then after you left, Jason tried to start something, and hooligan-boy practically dragged him out of the room. If I hadn’t been so… angry-sad, it would have been funny.” She took a breath and dove in. “I was scared, too. As I said, how could you possibly be okay with this? It just seemed too easy. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and when Zeynar started being an ass and the whole perfume thing came up, it looked like it had. I thought, ‘and here it is, I ruined it.’ It’s like we’ve both just been waiting for it to blow up in our faces.”

  “That’s part of what I was thinking about. You know those annoying books, the ones where the characters never talk to each other and just assume stuff? That’s what we’ve been doing.”

  “Yeah, I usually end up yelling at them, ‘Just talk to each other!’ I feel like a fool.” She sniffed theatrically. “Never again. We will tell each other all the things. Like we said we would.”

  “Well, I don’t know about all the things. But, yeah, we’ve got to talk to each other about the doubts and stuff. Because I really don’t see a reason this can’t work, unless someone starts acting like an idiot and storms around in a huff. Not me, of course, some other idiot.”

  “Right.” She paused. “Do you really not like being the safe one? God, that does sound bad.”

  His laugh shook the bed. “How about this? I’ll be the one you land on when you need to come down.”

  “And maybe the one who does wild and crazy stuff with me, like running off to a strange world without knowing what’s going to happen.”

  “And maybe that as well.”

  Their lips met, and she fell into the kiss. He really did feel like home. It went on, and she pressed into him, his muscles firm. A hard length pressed against her thigh. Instead of pulling back like she did before, she moved against it, against him. Desire stirred, tightening in her belly and lower.

  She broke away from him and tipped her head back. His lips moved to her jaw, pressing small kisses along its edge. It felt so damn good to be close to him. Her hand clutched at his shoulder, nails digging in, and he pressed into her harder, a muffled groan vibrating against the skin of her neck.

  Smoothing her hand over the skin she’d just scratched, she once more found his mouth with hers. Her blood rushed, and her skin tingled, sensitive. Forrest’s hand kneaded at her side then smoothed up until it rested just below her breast. He hesitated for a moment then slid it up, cupping her breast, squeezing lightly.

  Blue gasped against him and arched her back.

  “Dammit. Tell me why you’re wearing a onesie?” Forrest’s mouth found the muscle just under her ear and bit down, lightly.

  “Because.” She swallowed, her throat dry. “I’m a ninny.” She kissed him again. When she pulled back this time, sweat lined his brow and his face was hard. “I have condoms.”

  He froze. A choked laugh escaped him. Twisting them both until she partially lay beneath him, he cradled her face in his hands. “You sure about this?”

  She smirked up at him. “Wouldn’t have told you about the stash otherwise.” Brushing a finger over one of his brows and wiping away a bead of sweat, she softened her tone. “I’m sure.” Her fingers skimmed over his cheek, and she stared, simply enjoying
the fact that she could touch him like this. She should touch him. She sat up, pressing her lips to his chin. “I’m sure, Fo.”

  “Thank God.” He rolled off her and dove toward her pack. He paused briefly when he found the perfume, then tossed it aside. Then he was there, the box of condoms in his hand and a grin on his face. “Strip.”

  “Excuse me?” Was he trying to kill the mood? “You first.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so. I take these pants off and I’ll last for like, two minutes.”

  She sat up and pouted at him. “Aren’t you supposed to seduce me or something?”

  “Next time. Well, maybe not. Cripes, Blue, I’ve only done this twice. It’s not like I’m a master at it.” His eyes widened, and he groaned. “I just fucked this up, didn’t I?”

  A little imp whispered on her shoulder. “Well, not yet, but if you stop being an ass, you might still be able to… fuck.” Heat rushed into her cheeks. “Ignore me. I’m a dork. We’ll be awkward dorks together, and it will be horribly painful. Crap. Get over here and kiss me. The kissing was good. We’ll skip the talking.” She reached up and found the fastenings for the long johns. They were cleverly disguised, running down either side of the front.

  Forrest watched her, his gaze following her fingers as they worked. When the last one was undone, she held the panel of fabric in place and raised her brows at him. He shuddered and took a step toward her. “Right. Kissing. Damn, who knew long johns were sexy?” He closed the distance between them, and she moved to her back, letting her legs part to either side of him.

  They kissed, and soon she forgot all about clothes and awkward words. Her legs parted further, and he settled between them. The height difference put his lower belly right at her core. Her hands were everywhere, diving into his hair, skimming over his back, gripping his shoulders.

  The front panel of her clothes was brushed aside and Forrest’s hand found her bare breast, kneading it. A light pinch on her nipple had her gasping against his mouth.

  “Like that?” He pinched again, a little harder.

  “Ow.” She slapped his shoulder. “No kinky shit.” His thumb brushed over her nipple again, lighter, and she squirmed. Another pinch. Okay, maybe that wasn’t so bad.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll take it easy. Save the ‘kinky shit,’ as you put it. Also, you still have on too many clothes.” His voice was light, but when he sat back, sweat dotted his brow and shoulders and his lungs worked hard.

  Her gazed locked on the outline of his… Come on Blue, you know this word. “Penis.”

  Blood rushed to his face, and this time it wasn’t desire causing it, but pure mortification. Still, she couldn’t look away from that part of him, even if his shoulders were shaking with laughter. It wasn’t even bare. She wanted to see it.

  “Come on, we have to get these clothes off. We’ll work on ‘sexy’ later.” She tugged at her sleeves and pulled until her entire top was bare. Forrest watched, eyes glued to her chest, but she refused to stop. If she stopped because of embarrassment, this would never happen.

  She shoved the cloth down and over her hips, lifting up just enough to clear her butt and down her legs. Shit, I didn’t shave. Well, not like this could get worse. Bunching up the cloth, she tossed it away. Leaning back on her elbows, she tossed her hair. “Your turn. Strip.”

  Forrest became a flurry of motion. Tearing open the box of condoms, he snatched one up, shoved his pajama pants down, and settled over her. She barely got to see a thing.

  But then he was kissing her again, and they were truly skin-to-skin. Next time. Next time was okay.

  Then he did a new thing. He moved down her chest, and his mouth closed over a nipple. He licked her, sending new sensations through her down to her core. Oh, she liked this much better than the pinching. Her nails dug into flesh, and he groaned, sending vibrations against her.

  He broke away and fumbled with the condom. “I’m not lasting much longer, Blue. Hell, it’s a miracle I’ve lasted this long.” He settled against her, pushing her legs wider apart. Propping himself up with an elbow on one side of her head, his other hand moved down and found her entrance.

  She stiffened but didn’t pull away. His fingers didn’t feel bad, just… new. He skimmed over one spot, and sensation shot through her. Biting her lip, she held back a groan. Her hips pressed up, seeking that touch again, or more pressure, or more… something.

  Another brush of fingers, and a moan escaped. Her hips lifted, and she stopped thinking about embarrassing words and what was unfamiliar and new and just… felt. Her eyes slid closed, and her legs fell open further. Her back arched, and she ached to get closer, to erase any distance, any space left between them.

  “Please.” The word came out on a breath, barely there.

  Something hard and thicker than his fingers probed at her. The tip slipped between her folds, stretching her. Forrest’s hips rocked against her, working that length farther inside. She tensed as the stretching became uncomfortable. He paused, his breathing harsh, puffing over her face. A drop of sweat hit her cheek, and her eyes snapped open.

  He was hunched over her, his back curved, and he stared at her. Their eyes met, and his mouth fell to hers, but he didn’t devour. He kissed her lightly, sweetly. “I fucking love you, Blue.”

  She pressed her lips to his then bit down gently on his lower lip. “Love you too.” When he still didn’t move, just looked at her, she relaxed. The moment grew, filled with emotion and, well, him. He surrounded her. This was her karaoke buddy, her adventure minion, her artist. She traced her fingers over the branches of trees that wrapped around his arm and melted into the mattress.

  His muscles locked, and he shivered. The tremble moved through him and into her.

  She clenched.

  That was new. She liked that. She tried it again.

  “Fuck, pixie.”

  “You keep promising that.” She grew restless. She needed to move, and with the position he was in, there was too much space between them. What was he waiting for anyway? Hadn’t he said he wouldn’t be able to last that long?

  She shifted her hips, angling them, trying to take more of him.

  His jaw flexed. “Ready?” He moved, forcing a bit more of his length into her. The stretching was back, the pressure, part pain, part pleasure, all sensation.

  “Seriously?” She growled out the word and dug her nails into his shoulder again. She hadn’t missed the reaction that had gotten earlier.

  He surged forward, and she sucked in a breath as pain shot through her. A sharp tearing followed by a deep throb. She clenched again, but this time she wasn’t sure if her body was seeking to reject the intrusion or take more of it.

  Forrest pulled back and thrust again. He leaned into her, his upper chest bumping her nose. She turned her head to the side, suppressing a giggle. He moved again, and she tried to angle her hips and meet him halfway, to do her part, but it pulled her farther down, and the side of her face met his chest again.

  Maybe it was a sign. The inner imp was back, and she decided to roll with it. The next time Forrest thrust, she darted out her tongue and licked at his nipple. It became a game. Thrust, lick. Thrust, lick. And it was fun. He liked it too, if his gasps were any indication.

  The pain had eased as well. She felt full, and the heat that had never left built. Slick skin against her own, small grunts, bright blue eyes locked on hers. One of her hands dove into that short, gold hair, the other clutched at his shoulder.

  Her nails dug in.

  He stiffened and thrust into her again, deep. His mouth partially open, face strained, muscles bunched, he let out a low moan.

  Had he just…?

  He gave a few sharp jerks then pulled out of her, away, leaving her feeling empty.

  “Crap. I’m sorry. I should have…” He fell back and groaned again, this one filled with embarrassment instead of pleasure.

  She curled into his side. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Well
, no, but it is. I think. All the things I’ve read say it’s really common for a girl not to orgasm the first time. Of course, in all the romance books I’ve read, she usually does,” she said, deliberately injecting a musing tone into her voice, teasing him.

  “I should have let Mo’ata go first. I mean, he’s probably got a lot more ex—”

  She slapped his chest. “Don’t you dare ruin this. It was my decision. I’m the one who gets to make it and then regret it. Not you. Not that I do. Regret it, I mean. This was perfect for us.” She propped herself up on one elbow, conscious of her bare chest but refusing to cover it. This was her Forrest. “Besides, we’ll practice.” Maybe Mo’ata will join us and give pointers, the imp chimed in.

  He studied her, brows pulled in, serious. “This isn’t you just being nice is it?”

  She stretched up and kissed his chin. “Nope. Maybe the stars could have aligned and we could have had the most perfectly simultaneous orgasms ever experienced. But this was perfect for me, for this moment.”

  “I could…” His hand went to her side and slid lower, over her hip then down between her thighs.

  Blue grabbed his wrist. Did she want him to finish what he’d started? “No. I’m still sore. And messy.” She grinned at him, and his eyes narrowed. “Want to make it up to me? You can wash me.” Yup, the imp was back. Or maybe it was just her.

  Chapter 16

  FELIX

  Felix sat back from the screen and rubbed his eyes. The words were blurring in front of him. He needed a break.

  They had been searching the reports and data Zeynar had brought for a day and half now, seeking something, anything, that would allow them to contain the crystal’s powers.

  So far, they had nothing.

  Brendan Faust had also come through. He had sent men out to question the workers, the shopkeepers, and those who lived in the apartments at the edge of the warehouse district. He hadn’t come to the inn again, had yet to speak to Blue, but Zeynar’s influence had opened those doors, and the information was pouring in. Now they just had to put all the pieces together.