Just Jayne

by Ripley Proserpina

  I let him go and ripped open the button on his pants, shoving them down until his cock was free. I got on my hands and knees and sucked him into my mouth. His hands went to my hair, holding it back from my face so he could watch me.

  High, breathy pants left his mouth, almost like the notes he’d sung earlier. I sucked him as far back as I could before letting him release from my mouth with a pop.

  “Díos mio.”

  I worked him with my hand, felt him get harder and hotter and then he was coming. I drank him down, but pulled away before he finished. His release coated my lips, and I looked up at him while wiping it with my thumb. I got to my knees and grasped his shoulders. On his neck, I’d left one, deep red hickey. Tracing it, I met his gaze. “You’re mine.”

  He nodded and jerked me forward to kiss me. I still had my hand wrapped around him and he began to harden. “How do you know?” he asked. “No one…” He drew back. His gaze roamed my face, and his eyes seemed to glitter, almost like he was going to cry. “No one has ever known what I needed before.”

  “I do,” I said. And I didn’t know how it was. Something inside me recognized him and rose up to answer his needs. “Whatever you need, I’ll give you.”

  “I believe you,” he said, shaking his head. “Holy shit. I believe you.”

  23

  Jayne

  Diego and I hurried out to the waiting SUV. He held my hand, and I loved it. I loved the way the guys were free with their touch and affection, and I loved how every minute that went by, they seemed more comfortable with it.

  It was distracting enough I almost forgot why we were going to California in the first place.

  I wondered what I’d find when I got to Bel Air. In my mind, my aunt who’d long ago started a prescription of preventative plastic surgeries, remained ageless.

  The tall severe woman never smiled, unless it was bitterly, or in response to my pain.

  Sophie was talking on the phone in Spanish, and when she saw Diego she held it out. “It’s Abuela,” she said and then turned around in her seat to see me. “She and Abuelo are going to take me to Disneyland. And Universal. And Harry Potter world, whatever that is. Are you excited? I’m so excited.”

  “Sí, Mamá. Sí. Sí.” Diego’s conversation went on like that for a while, reassuring his mother of something, and he didn’t get off the phone until the SUV drove up to the private plane.

  A woman waited for us by the foot of the embarkment, and I recognized her as Flora, the woman who’d come from Switzerland with Sophie. I hadn’t seen her since Sophie arrived, and wondered why she was coming now.

  The little girl greeted her, enthusiastically jumping into her arms before she kissed her cheek.

  “Flora is her bodyguard,” Tennyson whispered in my ear. “You wouldn’t know it to look at her, but she can flip a two-hundred pound man over her shoulder. She’ll stay with Sophie while she’s at her grandparents.”

  The two of them climbed the steps onto the plane and I spun around to face Ten. “Is that necessary? Has she been threatened?”

  “She’s the sole daughter of one of the richest rock bands in the world,” Ten said. He played with his lip ring and glanced toward the plane. “It’s just smart.”

  “Maybe you need another one,” I said. “If one is good, why not two?”

  “That’s what I said.” Klaus pressed a kiss to my cheek before he took the stairs two at the time.

  “We try not to be too obvious,” Lee said. “We don’t let her be photographed, and we don’t broadcast who she is.”

  I climbed the stairs behind him. “But what about all the people taking photographs at the house? You didn’t say a word when they were snapping her pictures.”

  “None of them are published,” Lee said over his shoulder. “It’s part of what they sign before they arrive. If one of them had even accidentally uploaded her photo to the cloud, they’d lose everything. One photograph, even at a million dollars, isn’t worth it. We’d make sure they couldn’t get a job flipping burgers.”

  I didn’t think he was joking.

  At the door to the private plane, I had to stop and take it all in. It was everything I expected. Red leather seats, black interior—and chrome. All of it screamed sexy man.

  “Welcome back, Diego,” a man in a uniform said. “Can I get you a drink?”

  “Just a soda,” he said. “This is Jayne, Ramos. I’m going to show her around.”

  He took my hand and led me down the aisle to a curtain and then pushed it aside. On either side of the plane were long bench seats. “Once we’re airborne, we tend to spend our time here. It’s more comfortable, and sometimes we even play a little bit.”

  The engines revved and a voice came over the intercom telling us to take our seats. Diego bent his head close to my ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  It only took a small adjustment to touch my lips to his cheek. “Me, too.”

  We went back to the rows of seats, but before I could take a place on the other side of Sophie, Ten grabbed me and pulled me next to him. “My turn.”

  I glanced over my shoulder and saw Diego seat himself next to Sophie. He gave me a wink and a nod and I relaxed. Ten reached across me to buckle me in, and then he took my hand. “I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to have you to myself,” he said. “I feel like I need to clear the air.”

  He was going to apologize for everything, from my interview to the dinner. I opened my mouth to stop him, but he placed his finger on my lips.

  “I need to do this.”

  “Okay,” I whispered against his skin.

  “I won’t say I’m sorry about the interview,” he said just as the plane began to taxi down the runway. The engines were loud, and I had to lean closer to hear him. “That shit was hilarious. Do you know the last time someone didn’t know who I was?”

  I rolled my eyes and settled back in the seat. “It must have been quite a surprise.”

  “It was bloody awesome,” he said. “And I’m someone who enjoys being recognized. All the trappings of fame? I won’t apologize for that, I love it.”

  From the gold records on display to this plane, I could see the benefit of fame and money. “You shouldn’t apologize for this,” I replied. “You’ve worked hard for it, and you deserve it. I didn’t mean to make you ashamed about it.”

  He shook his head, twisting in the seat to face me. “I don’t mean for you to apologize to me.”

  “I feel like I should,” I answered.

  “No. The way I behaved while you were in our home. The way I spoke to you and the things I’ve said about your appearance…”

  My face flamed with embarrassment. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

  “But it wasn’t,” he said. “I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass, Jayne, but to me, the moment you step into a room, the entire world disappears. All I see is you.”

  I had to laugh. “Ten…”

  “Objectively speaking, Jayne, you have no fashion sense, and you dress much too old for your age, but you are hands-down, the most perfect woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. All it took was you speaking. And reading me the riot act.” He was staring at me so seriously, and he took my hands, squeezing tightly. “I trust my friends. They tell me the truth, but I’ve never met a woman who would. And you do. You’re not afraid of me, or intimidated by me. Even when I act the idiot, you give me credit and don’t let me get away with shit because I’m a superstar.”

  “I don’t know if this is an apology or an excuse, Tennyson.” I giggled. “You’re insulting in one breath and complimentary the next.”

  “You make my head spin, Jayne, I don’t know what I’m saying.” He laughed and took a hand from mine to wipe his brow. It was then I noticed that he was sweating.

  “Are you nervous?” I asked.

  “Terrified,” he said. “That you’ll decide you like my friends and not me. And I fucking hate flying. Especially over the ocean. I don’t care how many times I do it.�
��

  “And yet you’re flying to California for me,” I whispered.

  “Yeah,” he answered, like it was obvious. “I wouldn’t let you go into the lion’s den without me swinging a chair and a whip.”

  I laughed again, and he smiled, dipping his head closer. “You like the idea of a whip? How about ropes? You know who else loves ropes? Diego.”

  “Oh my god!” I cried out and slapped my hand over my mouth. I playfully swatted his arm, but he stopped me and drew my arm around his. He leaned into me, resting his cheek on my head.

  “Tie that boy down, and he’ll do anything for you.”

  “Stop,” I whispered seriously, and pinned him with a stare. “Please.” Whatever it was that Diego liked, it was for me to find out, not for Tennyson to blab.

  The guy had the good sense to blush, and he nodded. “Yes, Miss Burns.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “But seriously. Do you forgive me for being an idiot? And will you forgive me in the future because I’m bound to say something inconsiderate again?”

  “I do,” I replied, turning my head to kiss his shoulder and then lean my cheek against him. “Of course I do. I’m going to say stupid things, too.”

  “How about this,” he said, “If you promise to forgive me for saying stupid things, I’ll forgive you for owning those shoes.”

  I lifted my foot. I was wearing a pair of converse sneakers and a pair of jeans. “What’s wrong with these shoes?”

  “Oh, darling,” he said. “Wait until I bring you shopping.”

  “This is me, Ten,” I said. “Plain Jayne, just like you said. I don’t want you to be disappointed when you realize I’m not a fixer upper. This is what you get.”

  “This is what I want,” he replied. He cupped my cheek and leaned down to kiss me. His lips were warm against mine, and he moved them slowly. “You’re what I want. Just as you are. Honest and lovely.”

  “You’re what I want, too, Tennyson,” I said. “Just as you are. Loud mouthed and loyal.”

  Chuckling, he drew my head back to his shoulder. “You should take a nap,” he said. “Things might get a little crazy in California.”

  I closed my eyes and drifted off, his scent filling my nose and his hand wrapped around mine.

  24

  Tennyson

  Jayne fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I couldn’t look away from her. It was funny how much her personality changed her looks.

  When she was animated, fired-up about something or laughing at my ridiculousness, she became this otherworldly creature.

  And when she was sleeping, she was sweet and so young-looking it frightened me. “What are we doing?”

  Lee turned around in his seat, his long legs taking up the aisle as he faced me. “We’re taking a chance.”

  “Is it the right thing?”

  “Tennyson Blake, are you putting someone else’s needs in front of your dick’s?” Klaus asked.

  If moving wouldn’t have woken Jayne, I’d have punched the back of his seat.

  “Fuck you,” I said. “I’m serious. She’s different. She means something.”

  They didn’t argue with me, and they didn’t make fun of me. Not with this. Take the piss out of me, sure, my best friends could do that all day. But things were different with Jayne. She wasn’t a joke. Not to any of us.

  “I don’t know if it’s the right thing,” Lee said.

  “But it’s the only thing,” I added. “There’s no choice. You know? It’s her.”

  Lee sighed and faced the front of the plane. “Yeah. I know.”

  Jayne settled against me, sighing a little in her sleep, and I forgot all about choice. When it came to the girl who fell asleep so trustingly in my arms, I was gone.

  25

  Jayne

  I woke up cold. It wasn’t unusual. It was always cold here, even though it was California. The nights were the worst when the wind whipped through the broken windows and seemed to settle in our bones. I huddled closer to Elena, wrapping my arms around her.

  “Your feet are freezing!” I whispered and reached for her hands. She was stiff, and didn’t clutch me back the way she always did when we snuck into each other’s bed to stay warm on these winter nights. “Elena?” I shook her a little, and when she didn’t move, I sat up and stared down at her.

  It was a full moon outside, and it turned the inside of my room a dozen shades of blue. Elena’s eyes were wide and staring, and her lips were the same blue as my walls. I knew she was dead, but still I shook her. “Elena. Wake up.”

  Only hours ago she’d climbed into my bed, her body burning hot and sweat drenching her nightgown. She’d groaned as she’d lifted my blankets, and her teeth had chattered when she told me she didn’t feel good.

  Suddenly, my room didn’t feel safe, and I stumbled out of bed. “Help.” I could barely get the words out. I choked and coughed, and threw myself against my door. “Help!” I cried louder when it wouldn’t open.

  I was back in the closet in my aunt’s house, and I could hear everyone go about their day, but I was locked in here with Elena, and she was dead.

  “Help!” I yelled.

  “Jayne!” Tennyson grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I opened my eyes to see Lee and Klaus leaning over the backs of their seats, staring at me.

  “You wouldn’t wake up,” Lee said, his eyes narrowed. “What were you dreaming about?”

  I glanced across the aisle and saw Diego had turned in his seat to stare at me. Sophie was asleep, the seat leaning all the way back and a blanket draped around her.

  Clearing my throat, I shifted uncomfortably under their stare. “Nothing.”

  “Don’t lie,” Klaus said.

  “Who’s Elena?” Diego asked.

  I sighed. “It’s… no one ever asked before.” I twisted my fingers together, wringing them nervously before Tennyson stopped me.

  “I’m asking,” he said and then glanced over at his friends. “We’re asking.”

  “I’ve told you about my aunt,” I said. “The woman who I’m going to visit.”

  They nodded.

  “We’re not close,” I replied. “She placed me in a school when I was younger after I told some of my teachers at school about what her son was doing to me.”

  “What was he doing?” Klaus asked. “What’s his name?”

  “Where does he live?” Diego whispered.

  “He’s dead,” I said, a little relieved they wouldn’t have to go to jail for his murder. “And he used to beat me. Torture me, really. He had two other sisters, but I was just some poor relative who was wasting their money. I don’t know why he hated me. I don’t know why any of them hated me.” As the words left me, I was transported back in time. It was like I was alone, watching a film of my life, and I asked the questions that kept me up at night. “I tried to stay small and quiet. I read and hid, staying out of their way. But he looked for any reason to hurt me.” I touched the scar on my temple. Lee’s gaze followed my hand, and he reached forward to touch it.

  “He did this?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I replied. “You can’t see all of the scars anymore, they’ve faded. But I could point them out. One day I did. I went to school with my arm in a sling and when the teacher asked what happened, I told her.”

  I’d had no idea that my life could get worse. How could I? I already lived in fear and dread.

  But if I’d known what my aunt had in store for me, I’d have kept my mouth shut.

  “That’s when you were sent away to Gatesdale, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I replied. “It was supposed to be a progressive school for kids who were troubled. They had this whole austerity aesthetic, like living without blankets and vaccines made a person stronger. It just makes them sick.” I pressed my hands together, because the dream had seemed so real. It was like Elena’s dead hand was still in mine, I could feel it. “We all got sick. Measles. Whooping cough. I had one friend at that school. She was the only person in the worl
d who loved me, and she died from an eighteenth-century illness.”

  “Most of the kids at that school died from measles, isn’t that right?” Diego asked.

  “Yes,” I answered. “In one week, something like ninety girls died. Others were left blind or disabled. It made the news.”

  “I remember,” Diego said. “The headmaster was arrested, wasn’t he?”

  I nodded. “Dr. Moore. He was arrested for neglect and abuse. I think he’s still in jail.”

  “He’s lucky if he’s in jail,” Klaus said. “What sort of man hurts children?”

  “The sort that receives money from the child’s family for as long as they remain out of the way,” I replied. Now that the floodgates were open, it was difficult to close them against the tide of memories. “When he picked me up to bring me to school, my aunt told him not to believe a word I said. That I was a known liar and I’d nearly caused my cousin to be taken out of her care. He assured her that he believed her and that he’d put me in my place.”

  “And after?” Tennyson asked. “Where did you go? I went to boarding school, but it was nothing like that. It was all rowing and rugby and beer.”

  “I lived at Gatesdale from the time I was eight until I was fourteen. And then I was sent to another private school. It was safe. Underfunded and under-equipped, but no one beat me. I left that school and moved into my dorm at college. Then…”

  “A master’s degree in education and a reputation as one of the best private teachers in the country,” Tennyson said. “See? I did read your application.”

  I smiled, but it felt brittle. Reliving my past made my skin crawl. It pushed me back in time and into a role that was ill-fitting. Those memories and the darkness of that time were things I wanted to forget.

  “We’ll never let anything happen to you,” Lee said.

  “You can’t promise that,” I said. “Even with the best intentions, things happen that will be out of your control.”