Missing (Shifters Unlimited: Clan Black Book 2)

by KH LeMoyne

  Deacon stood abruptly and turned to the window. “My parents were another shining example.”

  “Granted. But your people can also see you tying yourself in knots to comply with the letter of the law. Not allowing alphas to voice a claim for their shifter mates is one thing. Shifter females are raised to claim what is theirs. Human mates? Lena has no concept of what her role is in your relationship, much less how to seal the deal. How convoluted is that? Don’t you have enough difficulties?”

  Glancing over his shoulder, Deacon nodded. “We’ve had healthy, long-lasting families with the institution of the newer rules. I’m not about to jeopardize the community’s well-being because it doesn’t suit my personal desires.”

  Grizz stood and leaned forward, his palms on Deacon’s desk. Not a docile stance, and the only reason Deacon allowed the insolence was he understood what drove Grizz to make him fight for Lena.

  “Let’s talk about you.” Grizz’s voice had reached a loud growl. “I’ll grant you your stubbornness, but it can’t have fallen below your notice that everyone in town is doing their best to win your mate’s approval and coax or bully her into setting down roots. Well, aside from Trim. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you went a bit far with your information blackout. Being honest with her shouldn’t be against the rules.”

  “She knows how I feel,” Deacon murmured.

  “She’s a human. I have to keep reminding myself, since she gets herself neck-deep in all of our most unpleasant secrets, so maybe you need a memory jogger as well. Human males propose. They don’t make their mates perform public displays of humiliation to claim them. At least most of them don’t. As a reminder, I’m told all women need to hear this kind of thing.”

  Deacon sat back down, leaned his head against his chair, and blew out a harsh breath. He was sick of debating this. “Just because I’m not in complete agreement with a rule doesn’t mean I can ignore it. I swore an oath to uphold our laws. Too many women have been used as power conduits and breeding mares without their understanding or acceptance. Our antiquated beliefs almost destroyed our race and nearly wiped the magic from our territory. Because we live longer, people still remember those days.”

  He leaned forward. “I also won’t belittle Lena by painting some rosy picture of alpha mating. The choice needs to be hers based on her calling. This is a hard enough change without a firm personal commitment.”

  “I think you’re being a fool.”

  “I don’t see you convincing your mate to choose you.”

  “If I could, I would. This isn’t about me. Not to mention what Lena could bring to the clan.”

  “My concern exactly. Everyone is too excited about what an alpha male and female can bring to their lives. What about Lena’s life? Nothing would be the same for her.”

  “Come on. It’s not like everyone doesn’t hear stories about Alarico’s territory. His South American clan members tout the glory of their alpha and his female every chance they get. Besides, Lena has more courage and strength than you give her credit for.”

  “It’s not her courage being tested here.” Deacon rose and stalked the confines of his office. Clouds gathered outside, pairing well with his burgeoning foul mood. “This is a woman’s life we’re talking about. One I want to see filled with happiness whether she chooses to stay or leave. This isn’t a reality TV competition.”

  “It’s like that, is it?” The grumble behind him rolled for a second, then snapped off. “You should have just said you’d already fallen in love with her and are too afraid to damage her.”

  Deacon scowled at his reflection in the window. Love wasn’t a strong enough emotion for his interaction with Lena. Combustible lust, perhaps. The pleasures of her body kept him in a constant state of arousal no matter how much he sated himself.

  Then there was the insistent bond demanding he seek her, if only with his mind, just to remain sane. Yet, oddly, his strongest pleasure was the treasured peace her presence brought him.

  “I’m not sure why we need to be subject to these new rules from an ancient ruling dictator none of us has ever met, but”—Grizz held up a hand as Deacon spun back—“I swore my loyalty to you, so it doesn’t matter where the ideas come from. Be they from the nefarious Vendrick or the Great Mother herself, I’m behind you. I remember your mother’s death. It was before your father sent me into captivity.” He paused and winced. “While you can blame your father for a lot of things, at least he didn’t force her from Black Haven.”

  “He might as well have. He drained her of her power along with her will to live, refusing to share of himself, so he could keep her hostage. She ruled nothing but her choice to die.”

  Grizz’s eyes flew wide open, and Deacon regretted his rashness in releasing that particular secret. Few understood the true workings of the alpha male and female bond for obvious reasons. Exploitation of one mate by the other was bad enough.

  “You’re right, they were both responsible for their choices. And that doesn’t leave here.” Deacon continued as Grizz slowly nodded. “This isn’t about my mother either. She really didn’t have a choice. Women were bartered as possessions in her day. At least she was imbued with her own magic, which gave her some solace.”

  “Things have changed. There are even two female alphas who govern without mates.” Grizz shuddered and raked a hand across his unruly hair. “Granted, Gauthier’s an abusive SOB and doesn’t even bother to mate the women he takes, but he’s the exception. For the most part.”

  “One of the reasons he lacks true power. He’ll pay for his behavior someday, but that isn’t the issue here.”

  “You’re not the others. Lesser alphas bring their packs to you out of trust. Everyone sees that. Lena could have a long, full, and happy life here with us.”

  “The rule is made to protect her.” Deacon hadn’t meant to snap. “I already crossed the line by exposing her to the people here, but it’s a risk I’ll accept as she’d already had exposure to our kind. Others can answer whatever questions she asks.”

  “Hope you’re not banking on the fact that she can’t resist you. Leaving a bit too much to fate, if you ask me. Though I’ll admit she seems rather taken with you—carrying your scent and all.”

  Insolence? Deacon walked back to his friend, for Grizz’s frustration wasn’t for the benefit of the clan. He wanted to see Deacon happily mated. Deacon got that. It didn’t make his stand any easier. “Caring for me isn’t enough. She needs to love the people and be willing to bind herself to us, not just me. I refuse to tempt her with potential power. Or make her empty promises that she can leave if it doesn’t work out. I will only take one mate, and I will share my power with her before everyone, but the choice must still be hers. Because once the dam breaks, it goes both ways. I can’t repair what’s damaged if she isn’t ready.”

  “You’re damn hardheaded, you know that?”

  “It’s the only reason I’m here.”

  “And why we all follow you.” Grizz rubbed at his nose with a knuckle. “I gathered from the call that Wharton has more than a hint about the charges and Lena’s situation?”

  “I’m fairly certain he suspects.”

  “Wouldn’t it be easier just to tell him?”

  “Lena’s my mate. Her vindication must be free of my influence. Wharton, of all the clan, has the strongest reason to be her judge.”

  “So you can’t let Trim in on the reasoning until Wharton finishes his hunt for clues with Sanders. Must you always choose the hardest path?”

  Deacon leveled a glare his way. “Wharton deserves to pursue this without being hounded.”

  “Right. Me overstepping again.” Grizz rose and stalked from the office.

  15

  Trim pushed through the doors of the intensive care wing and nodded toward the guard she’d assigned to watch Shanae and Trevor. The tiger shifter grunted but made no other sign, his eyes in constant slow surveillance down the hallway to the glass wall revealing the hospital lobby below.


  She ignored him, still raw over Deacon’s withholding of critical information. She should have been told that Lena was accused of shifter murders. Yet the woman roamed free in their shifter sanctuary with the protection of their alpha and Breslin.

  Years of following Deacon should have earned her his trust. She’d put in her time, been a loyal and hardworking member of his team—she deserved the respect of hearing first, not last, of a threat to her clan.

  With a scowl, she shrugged, unable to dispel the nagging truth that Deacon always treated her with respect. She juggled more responsibilities than his other direct reports combined.

  Her conscience nagged at her that he’d never done anything without a damn good reason.

  Still, having Deacon circumvent her left a bitter taste in her mouth. Like a lie.

  She exhaled. Like the lie she was telling herself. She didn’t do more than anyone else on Deacon’s personal team. Breslin might report to her, but he worked Deacon’s assignments as well. He’d never been one to balk at too much work.

  Wharton, for all his easygoing façade, bore the emotional well-being of the clan as his burden without a peep of complaint. And Grizz…well, hell if she knew what specifically he did for Deacon, but the enforcer job wasn’t a role she wanted details on.

  She also had to admit neither Breslin nor Wharton seemed enamored of investigating Lena. If she’d even detected rage or anger toward the woman, Trim would have been appeased. But what she’d felt from the cougar reporting to her was dread. That and clear stinking regret. What the hell did they all know that she didn’t?

  Perhaps she wasn’t meant to know.

  After hours of sulking in the hills last night, she’d finally realized she did lack objectivity regarding Lena. Something she rarely had problems with. Distance was her forte, cold perspective her sharpest skill. Granted, she would have opted for kill first, investigate later, instead of wasting man-hours. Leaving her alpha without the mate everyone scented all over him.

  She wasn’t stupid.

  Pigheaded maybe.

  By morning, she’d grudgingly accepted what her experience during the last few days had taught her. Lena would no more kill a shifter than cut off her own head—the feral she’d shot for Deacon aside. The woman might have been different several years ago, but Trim doubted it.

  Perhaps her annoyance stemmed from Deacon’s blind acceptance and obvious attraction to Lena. His commitment made something hard and jealous—no, just an unpleasant wistful desire—in her stand up and take notice.

  When it came to mating situations, she was hardly an expert. Yes, she’d negotiated her share of shifter mating disputes, but bullying committed mates to see the other person’s point of view long enough to compromise was different from watching her alpha fall down a seemingly endless chasm. Love, lust, forever. No one should count on that. Hell, her own human mother had abandoned her, and her wandering father left her in Black Haven without a backward glance.

  Then there was Shanae’s betrayal so long ago, with the past rearing its ugly head again.

  She reached the hospital room and stood for a second. Shanae was dressed and pacing before the window. Trim snickered quietly. Shanae was the only person she knew who could make casual sweatpants and a T-shirt look like a fashion statement.

  “What are you doing out of bed?”

  Shanae halted and swung her gaze Trim’s way. “Thank you for coming.”

  “You asked. I’m here.” Trim glanced toward the small satchel of personal items on the bed. Clothes and the few grooming items she’d left for Shanae.

  “I’m being released in a few hours. My wounds are almost healed. Matthew’s coming back to pick us up.”

  Trim winced. Less than a minute, and already the husband topic was in play, carving more distance between them.

  Moving closer, Shanae’s gaze searched her face. “I owe you my life, and my son’s.”

  “Let’s not go there. I did for you what I would do for any clan member in trouble.”

  Shanae swallowed hard and then raised her chin. “Yes. But for me, you elicited Deacon’s help. And brought a team.” She stepped closer. “For me, you went all out, the same way you did when you hid me every time the wardens at the orphanage looked for children reaching mate-worthy age. Or should I say girls old enough to be screwed and discarded.”

  Trim turned away and sat on the hospital bed. God, those were memories she didn’t want to deal with. Not now. Not later. “We were just lucky Deacon returned to claim his title.”

  “No. I was lucky because you took care of me. My life was nearly normal.” Shanae’s footsteps came closer until their knees almost touched. “Deacon was smart enough to figure out how valuable you were. Smarter still, he utilized your strengths in a way so you’d never be at risk again.”

  “You’re giving him way too much—” Trim stopped. Shanae wasn’t someone she could snow over with little lies. They had too much history together. The bruises and broken bones might have faded, but friendships built on survival lasted forever. Confidences given on her worst nights, the open admission of broken dreams, couldn’t be erased either. She shrugged, uncomfortable as her thoughts stripped away protective layers. “He’s alpha for a reason.”

  Damn, didn’t that acknowledgment hurt.

  “Not all alphas see what we need. Only a handful deliver on those needs. He knew that, with support, you weren’t afraid to find all the dark places Alpha King left behind.” Shanae placed her fingers over Trim’s balled fist. “You banished the shadows in Black Haven, and that is what the rest of us needed.”

  “Not enough for you to stay,” Trim snapped, jerking her hand away, angered as if the bandage had been ripped off now instead of years ago.

  Shaking her head, Shanae stepped backward and then sat beside her on the bed. “I needed to get out. To see other things—maybe to forget. I could also feel Matthew out there. And I wanted him—the one who belonged to only me.”

  That was Shanae, always honest about herself, even if it hurt. Trim blinked once and listened. Truly listened.

  Shanae stretched her neck. “Something pulled me to leave, tugging me so hard my feet flew the farther I got from here.”

  “Did you find what you needed?”

  “I was happy with school and then my consulting job. But finding Matthew…” Shanae paused, staring at the floor as her fingers fidgeted. “Having my family targeted. Fleeing like a scared animal. It felt like I lost everything I’d gained.”

  Trim’s stomach clenched. Shanae knew her own heart. Something Trim never acknowledged, even on her worst days. It hurt too damn much. “You did a great job. Even Deacon mentioned how clean your trail was. There aren’t many of us who could have survived the way you did.”

  Biting the inside of her cheek, Shanae didn’t look up. Trim nudged her with her elbow. “None of us can handle being ambushed by several shifters. You should feel proud, not ashamed. You still hold the record for hiding the longest from Deacon. Especially since the human was the one to find you and not the alpha.”

  “I remember.” Eyes glistening, Shanae gave her a soft smile. “Still, I’m grateful. For all of you. I was stupid not to tell Matthew what I was.” Then a wicked, predictable look entered those eyes. “I get that fear for the ones you love makes you do stupid things. Hiding my secrets only allowed them to grow until they were insurmountable. Not real, but—” She shrugged and stared as if expecting a reciprocal confession.

  Not happening. “Yeah, well, if he’s coming to pick you up, then he’s not too far gone. Trevor will be safe here too.” Instead of heading down Shanae’s obvious path toward a mate discussion, Trim grasped for a distraction. “I’m getting itchy around all of you dating mates. Hell, even Deacon’s vulnerable.”

  “It might not work out. Lena could choose to leave him.” The twitch at the corner of Shanae’s mouth and the twinkle in her eye said she didn’t believe that for a second.

  “Don’t even say that.” Trim spat the words, real
izing she’d never have said those words yesterday much less a week ago. Now? Well, she couldn’t hate someone she respected, even if grudgingly. She let out a snort and suddenly noticed Shanae hadn’t said a word and stared at her with a soppy expression as if this was a bonding moment. For God’s sake, they didn’t do that kind of girly stuff. Friends in fighting, hiding, and surviving, yes. Sharing love stories—nah. “If the option is losing Deacon, then perhaps she’s—not all that bad.”

  Just an accused killer, but maybe that made her more alpha material or something.

  Shanae’s laughter filled the room. “She’s not what I expected either, but I think she’ll be good for him. You know—”

  A prickle along Trim’s spine warned her the conversation was circling back. “Don’t even go there. This isn’t about me.”

  Shanae sighed. “Fine. Though I meant everything I said. What I need to know is if you’ll have a problem with me living here. Me and Matthew.” She waved a hand.

  “No problems. The little tyke’s good too.”

  She gasped and blinked as Shanae crushed her in a hug. “I would come if you asked for help too, Trimbal. Whenever. Wherever. Just don’t be too strong to ask.”

  Trim choked out a grunt and slowly pushed Shanae back. She refused to risk a teary-eyed exit. “On that topic, Deacon has offered some places you and Matthew might want to consider living—homes. I’ll drop the details by the boardinghouse later.”

  Wide-eyed, Shanae nodded, then her smile returned. “You’ll stay, then, and visit with us a bit?”

  “Yeah, sure. For a few minutes.” Trim stood and shook her head, leaving before emotions got too deep. The old saying was to be careful what you asked for. She’d wanted her friend back home. She wanted somewhere safe to share the toxic bits she kept stored inside. Shanae always had a way of making the air lighter around everyone. But from the determined gleam in Shanae’s eyes, Trim suspected she might come to regret her wish.

  Lena opened her eyes. Golden sunbeams highlighted the corner of the room. Had she slept until afternoon?