“I’m going over to Jackson’s for a while. Okay?”
He waved acknowledgment, so I took full advantage of his preoccupation and split before a commercial kicked in.
CHAPTER 10
Thursday, November 14, 1878
I MANAGED TO MAKE IT TO ALL MY CLASSES thus far all week except for Monday. I pulled myself together as best as I could and focused all my energy on maintaining the status quo. Jackson and William had come home for the weekend and both returned to campus without either of them setting eyes on me. My absence over the past weekend left little doubt that I was faking about not feeling well. I watched from my window as Jackson walked to and from my home each day yet I made no effort to see or speak with him. I was not looking forward to their return home tomorrow evening.
While the visions continued daily without a stimulus, the screaming had been reduced to a single episode on Tuesday morning this week. I was still waking in uncontrollable sobs with vivid pictures still seen clearly in my mind’s eye and there was nothing I could do to stop them or even reduce their effects on me. However, it felt good to be functioning again, even on such a disconnected level. My head felt like I was under a constant fog, but at least I was out of my room and moving my aching muscles. The cool air moving in and out of my lungs burned life back into my disenchanted soul.
“Are you looking forward to Mr. Jackson coming home tomorrow?” Elizabeth asked lightly as we sat surrounded by Christina and Laurie eating lunch.
“I know you must have hated not seeing him last weekend being sick and all.”
“Yes. I imagine he will be waiting at my home by the end of classes tomorrow,” I responded casually before taking a bite of my apple.
“You have to be excited about him almost being done with classes,” Laurie said cheerfully, brushing her blond hair away from her face.
Luckily, my mouth was still full and I could only nod in response
“Have any of you spoken with Miss Maryanne since the festival?” Christina asked, and the three of us shook our heads in unison and glanced over to the corner of the small lunch room where Maryanne was sitting alone in the corner eating lunch and reading a book.
“I heard that Mr. Dimitri has refused to speak with her since their break-up.”
Laurie nodded in agreement. “Yes. He told me the same thing last Sunday after services. I know she brought it on herself, but I still feel bad for her with the holidays upon us and her being all alone. She not only lost the man she planned on marrying, but all of her friends in one day.”
“It is sad,” Elizabeth agreed.
“How can either of you say that after what she did to Miss Olivia? It was horrible. Even if she and Mr. William made a mistake, they did the right thing to correct it.” Christina glared over in the direction of Maryanne. “I do not feel bad for her at all. She is a cruel woman, just like her mother, and she got exactly what she deserved.”
“And on that happy note, I believe it is time for us to be heading off to class. Mr. Grahame is going to kill me if I am late again.” I gathered up my belongings and quickly headed towards our classroom. This was one conversation I did not want to be involved in.
***
“Would you like me to come by Sunday after services so we can figure out my dress for the wedding?” Elizabeth asked on our way home.
“That would be wonderful. Please invite Mr. Lee also and you can both join my family for Sunday dinner,” I offered, still feeling guilty about last Saturday.
“Wonderful. We would love to. I will speak with him this evening,” she smiled brightly.
“I am sorry about last weekend. I was not feeling well.”
“Will you stop apologizing,” she replied. “People get sick. I am just happy that you are feeling better. You did not look so great earlier this week, but you seem to be getting some color back in your cheeks.”
We parted in front of my house with the promise of seeing one another again in the morning to walk to school together. I continued on up the walkway to our front porch feeling better than I had all week.
Olivia was playing the piano when I arrived home. Mother was rocking besides the hearth knitting contently with a slight smile upon her lips. The house was peaceful and calm. I placed my books down on the table in the foyer and handed my caplet and scarf to Eddie before I joined the ladies by the fire.
Mother excused herself to check on dinner while I finished up the last of my assignments. Olivia stood up and moved over to the side window. I tucked my papers inside my books and stacked them neatly on the corner of the desk. I knew Olivia must have noticed the activity taking place over at her old home.
I got up and walked over beside her. “Are you all right?”
“Someone bought our home,” she said in a low voice without looking at me.
“Yes. I believe so.”
“There have been people moving things in and out all day. I am not sure who the new owners are. I have not seen anyone whom I recognize.”
“Me neither. I have not even heard who bought the place.”
I saw several strong young men carrying a beautiful cherry oak hutch up the walkway.
“William said my father sold it before my family left, but this is the first time I have seen anyone over there. I wonder why it took them so long to move in?” she turned slightly towards me.
“I am not sure,” I answered, barely loud enough for her to hear me.
“They have been emptying the house all day long. It appears that my parents left a great many things behind when they left. I have no idea what the new owners are going to do with them. They have been loading up wagons all day long.”
“Perhaps they have different taste in decorating than your parents.”
“Perhaps,” her voice trailed off weakly.
We stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. I was so uncomfortable and the words to comfort her failed me. The sun was fading quickly as the evening hours took hold on the day. Very few leaves remained on the trees, but those that held on tightly in the autumn winds had lost their vibrant luster and faded into a dull grayish brown.
“I wonder where they are now.” Olivia’s pleading eyes ripped at my heart.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and grinned meekly. “I wish I knew.”
“Not I, but I do wish that I could see my little brothers again. I do miss them dearly.” She turned back toward the window. “I hate to think of what my parents must have told them about me. The last thing I want is for them to hate me.”
“Miss Olivia, there is no way either of them could ever hate you. They adore you.”
I did not want to tell her the truth which was that her parents probably did everything they could to erase her from their lives.
“I hope that someday they will come looking for me and I can explain to them the truth rather than them spending their lives only knowing my parents’ version of the truth.”
“I am sure they will once they grow up.”
***
My father came home a short while later and was in an unusually good mood. The four of us enjoyed a delicious dinner Sarah prepared and wonderful light-hearted conversation. I informed Mother that I had invited Elizabeth and her beau to join us for Sunday dinner and that she was joining us after services to finalize her dress for the wedding. It seemed my renewed interest in the wedding preparations excited everyone that I was returning back to myself, as my mother had politely put it.
My father settled in next to the hearth completing his patient charts from the day while my mother knitted silently beside him. Olivia was fielding her way through the works of Emerson and absentmindedly twirled a lock of her dark brown hair between two fingers. I finished up an essay that was due in the morning, enjoying the break from reality it provided.
Mimi met me in my room at half past nine to help me prepare for bed. I watched her reflection carefully in the mirror as she unlaced my corsets, freeing me from my daily binding, and I realized that the lines on her fa
ce had deepened over the past few weeks. Her fingers, though still graceful, moved slower than before. It saddened me to think she was growing older and I would only be living with her for a short while longer.
“How’s school today?” Her voice rang with her strong spirit.
“Good. Miss Maryanne’s little tirade at the Autumn Festival seems to have replaced Miss Olivia’s fall from grace as the topic of lunchroom discussion.”
“I’s figures as much. I hears them talkin’ bout it when I’s at the store this week.”
“I know it may sound horrible for me to say, but I cannot bring myself to feel sorry for her. Besides, I believe Mr. Dimitri to be better off without her. I know it must be hard on him right now because he loves her. Still, I know that he will someday meet someone who will treat him much better than Miss Maryanne ever did.”
“I’s think so’s too.”
She brushed out my hair until it was shiny and soft before she helped me into bed. Eddie came in quietly and put a couple more logs on the fire. He nodded in our direction and exited without a sound. Mimi leaned over and kissed me softly on the forehead.
“Want me to turn down da lamp?” She crossed over to the mantel.
“No. Thank you, Mimi. I feel like reading for a while.”
She nodded and smiled. “Don’t stays up too late. Ya have school in the mornin’.”
“I promise. Sweet dreams, Mimi.”
“Sweet dreams, child.”
She closed my door softly. I listened briefly to her footsteps fade down the stairs. I picked up my copy of Sense and Sensibility off my night table and flipped it opened to where I left off. I quickly lost myself in the words and thought nothing more of what might happen when I finally drifted off to sleep. It seemed for a brief moment, the storm had passed and the clouds, while they hadn’t quite lifted yet, were starting to make way for bluer, brighter skies on the horizon.
CHAPTER 11
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I WAS TRYING MY BEST TO KEEP UP on all my schoolwork. Yet, between basketball practice every afternoon and Saturday mornings, and Emily consuming my evenings with wedding plans, I was quickly falling behind. I was staying up later than normal trying to get it all done.
The flashes that I remembered from my dreams were almost comforting as each day passed. They almost seemed like little movie trailers tailored to a specific place and time. The majority of the time they were not in any sequential order so deciphering them was becoming more and more challenging. I would try my best to put the pieces together and when frustration inevitably took over, I would turn to Jackson for clarification.
My mom kept up her cold façade, refusing to even look at me let alone speak to me. Both Ethan and my dad, I suppose, figured they’d stay out of it for a few days and let us work it out. However, with the stubborn streak ingrained in both of us, the likelihood of that happening was slim to none.
***
The noise level in the cafeteria maintained an unhealthy level as Jackson and I joined the others around our usual table. Everyone was anxious for the weekend and still gossiping about who did what at the Halloween party. Several of my classmates had made utter fools of themselves. Better still was the rumor that Taylor had drank just a tad bit too much and passed out while getting sick in the downstairs bathroom. Someone apparently had photographed her intoxicated elegance with their phone. From what I understood, Taylor in her little Playboy bunny outfit had been caught seated in front of the toilet with her legs wrapped around the bottom, head down in the toilet and the lid on top of her head. Apparently, it was such a great photo that it was plastered all over Facebook under a pseudo name. Personally, I couldn’t wait to get home and see it for myself.
“I think it’s funny,” Hilary giggled.
“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person,” Caitlyn added. “I’m only sorry I didn’t get to see it for myself.”
“Me too,” Zak added while Jackson only smiled.
“I’m just glad that she made it to the bathroom before she got sick. My parents were mad enough because of all the antics,” Cody stated flatly.
“Really? Your parents? They never get mad.” Hilary gave him an odd look.
“They were after the party. Some of my so-called friends took a few liberties that my parents didn’t appreciate very much.”
***
Later, the four of us gathered around our lockers after practice gasping for air and covered in perspiration. Coach Smith was determined to kill each of us in a slow and agonizing fashion before we ever played our first game this season.
“I need a nap,” Jenna complained, leaning against her locker.
“You and me both,” Hilary added, kicking off her shoes.
“Shower first. Then nap.” Caitlyn started peeling off her sweaty garments.
“I can’t. I have so much freakin’ homework to catch up on it isn’t funny,” I whined.
“Ditto,” Jenna half-laughed to keep from crying. “I can’t wait for Christmas break.”
After a long hot shower and a quick frozen pizza, I ran across the yards to the Chandler estate. The air was cold and the brisk wind tore at my clothes. It wasn’t even seven o’clock but the sky was as dark as midnight. The moon drifted slightly from behind the thick cover of clouds offering little illumination. The smell of the Chandler’s fireplace hung heavy on the breeze as the leaves crunched under my feet in their front yard.
Jackson answered the door looking amazing in his school sweatpants and hoodie. His hair was still slightly wet from his shower and I could smell the Axe body wash radiating off his skin. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.
“I brought my homework with me.”
“Good. I was getting ready to start mine.” He flashed my favorite lop-sided grin and took my backpack from me.
“I can only imagine how simple this homework must seem to you after already completing your bachelor’s,” I remarked as we made our way to the family room.
“Not as easy as you may believe,” he slightly smirked. “The little trivial things seem harder to remember than the larger more complex ones.”
“Kyle and Jenna will be here before eight to watch Vampire Diaries and Grey’s Anatomy.”
I sat down on the couch and opened my bag. I pulled out my books and set them on the coffee table in front of me.
“All right. Let me get my study materials from my room. I will be right back.” Jackson walked quietly out of the room.
I opened my calculus book and placed my notebook beside it on the table. I read through the instructions again for tonight’s assignment and took a deep breath. I don’t know what in the world I was thinking taking AP Calculus this semester.
“Good evening, Jocelyn. I thought I heard your voice.” Emily walked into the room carrying a silver tray with a couple of mugs on it.
“I brought you both some hot chocolate. It is really getting cold out this evening.”
“How sweet of you. Thank you very much.” I stood up and reached for one of the mugs. It was just hot enough with several fluffy marshmallows floating on top. I sipped it briefly before I sat back down.
“It’s delicious.”
“Thank you. It is my mother’s recipe.” She smiled sweetly and sat down on the loveseat across from me.
“She must be an amazing cook.”
“She was. She passed away several years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
Emily looked down for a moment and picked up her mug and took a sip. “She loved to cook. We used to spend hours cooking and baking.” Her voice was soft and she looked like she was almost in tears.
I was sorry that I mentioned anything. “Well, you are an amazing cook.”
“Thank you. I enjoy it.”
“Can I ask you a question, Emily?”
“Of course.”
“When Jackson and I leave for Boston next fall, are you and Robert going to move back as well?”
“Yes.
I believe so. You were the reason we came back here. I am looking forward to going home. Chicago is home in our other lives, but Boston is home in this one.”
“I was hoping you would say that. As strange as it may seem, both you and Robert really feel like family to me. I would be thrilled to have you both nearby.”
“Thank you, Jocelyn. You are like a second daughter to me, and perhaps you do not recall me saying to you there, but I will tell you again here, I could not be happier with my son’s choice in wife.”
I got up and sat down beside her on the loveseat, wrapping my arms around her neck. “Thank you so much, Emily. That means a great deal to me.”
“You are a wonderful, young lady, Jocelyn. I know you make my son very happy.” She hugged me back tightly.
“Am I interrupting?” Jackson paused in the doorway with a couple books in his hand.
“No. Come on in. I will let you two get your studies done. Holler if you need anything.” Emily smiled sweetly and left the room as silently as she’d entered.
“Your mother is so incredible,” I said to Jackson as we reconvened on the sofa.
“I think so but I may be a little biased, so thank you.”
We dove into our homework hoping to get it all completed before the others arrived. Jackson had his physics done in less than fifteen minutes while I was still struggling with my calculus. I finally relented and let him walk me through it step by step.
“That’s it?” I looked at him with disbelief. “Mr. Clark never explained it like that.” I laughed at my own stupidity. “Damn, that’s easy. I wish I’d asked you sooner.”
“I told you I would help you. All you had to do was ask.”
“Don’t rub it in.” I playfully shoved him away from me.
“You are so amazingly stubborn, silly woman.”
Those simple few instructions allowed me to complete all my assignments a full ten minutes before eight. Just in time for Jenna and Kyle to arrive for Vampire Diaries. It was our favorite show and somehow the guys had joined in. She and I were addicted to the books and devoured each one of them only to have heated discussions over who should be with whom and our opinion over every little detail.
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