Long Gone Lonesome Blues

by Maggie Shayne

  “Haven’t we done enough?” She’d insisted on brushing down Agatha herself. She should be exhausted by now, but wasn’t.

  “Not by a long shot.” Then she frowned, searching his face. “You must have things you should be doing, though. The dojo….”

  “Elliot and Adam are handling things there for me,” he said softly.

  She tilted her head. “They’re into martial arts, too?”

  Ben smiled at her. “They’re clueless. But they’ll be fine. Fact is, there’s only one class left today.” He glanced at his watch. “The preschoolers should be arriving in a half hour for their lesson, and then the boys are done for the day.”

  She sat up straighter. “Let’s let them off the hook.”

  Ben frowned, not sure what she meant. “You want me to go in and teach that class?”

  Smiling softly, she nodded. “If I can come, too. I mean…if you don’t mind….”

  “Are you sure you’re not too tired?” He couldn’t get over how much energy she had. He’d expected her flat on her back in bed by now.

  “I’m not tired at all. And I want to see that place…from the inside, I mean.”

  Ben stroked her cheek. Partly because he couldn’t seem to resist touching her at every opportunity, but mostly because he wanted to be sure she didn’t have a fever. She didn’t. Her skin was warm and soft, and her eyes sparkled. “Okay,” he said. “If you insist, we’ll go teach the class. Together.” In truth he’d always dreamed of showing his wife what he’d built from what had once been a grain warehouse. He was proud of the dojo. But not being able to share it with her had always detracted from his joy in it.

  They arrived twenty minutes later, and he saw Penny admiring the dragon painted on the red door as he opened it for her. They entered the huge main room, stepped over the mats scattered on the floor and stopped in the center.

  On the far end, Elliot executed a clumsy spinning back kick, while Adam shook his head and said, “No way. I’ve seen Ben do it, and that’s all wrong.”

  “Is not,” Elliot countered. “I know I’m doing it right.”

  “You are if you’re supposed to look like you just stepped on a banana peel.”

  Ben laughed. “You two ought to sign up for lessons if you really want to learn.”

  His brothers both turned to face him, Elliot looking surprised, while Adam sent a worried look toward Penny. “What are you two doing here?”

  “Relieving you both of command. Penny and I will take the final class. You can go home.”

  Penny and Ben moved forward, and Adam said, “Are you sure you’re up to this, Penny?”

  Penny tilted her head. “Why is everyone always asking me that?”

  Adam shrugged. “We get overprotective of our sisters. You don’t believe me, just ask Jessi.” There was affection in his eyes as he studied her face, looking, Ben knew, for signs of fatigue just as he’d been doing himself all afternoon.

  “To hell with asking Jessi,” Elliot said. “Ask Lash.”

  Ben lowered his head when Penny sent him a searching look. “We weren’t exactly…gentle with him.”

  “Poor Lash,” Penny said.

  “He came out okay.” Ben glanced toward the door as it opened and a few three and four-year-olds came inside. “I’d better go change. Be right back.” He headed toward the locker rooms, but inclined his head at Elliot as he went. When they were out of earshot he said, “On your way home, stop at Garrett’s office and tell him the clinic was called the Barlow Hospice, and the name of the doctor in charge was Barlow, as well. Maybe he can check it out.”

  Elliot nodded. “Hope he can find something,” he said.

  Ben did, too, but he saw Penny looking at them, and knew she’d be curious as to what they were discussing. He didn’t want her worrying about it. So he slapped Elliot on the shoulder, and muttered, “Stay with her until I get back out here, okay?”

  “Sure, Ben.”

  Ben headed into the locker rooms, leaving Penny in the care of his brothers.

  Elliot greeted the children, while Adam drew Penny aside. “You sure you feel okay?”

  “Fine. Shouldn’t I?” She should grill him, she really should. But she didn’t think he’d tell her a thing. She’d have to get her information from Ben. And she would. Soon.

  Adam nodded. “Did you get any answers today, Penny? Are you any closer to knowing what really happened to you two years ago?”

  Sighing, she shook her head. “I don’t know much more than I did when I got here.” She studied his face, wondering at his interest. But saw only caring and concern in his eyes.

  “You will,” he told her. “You just relax and try not to worry. I’m gonna take care of this for you. Okay?”

  “Adam, do you know something you’re not telling me?”

  He lowered his head. “I know someone who might.” Then he met her eyes again. “But like I said, I’ll see to it.” He searched her face and smiled. “Damn, it’s good to have you back home where you belong. I don’t know if I’ve told you that.” Then he hugged her, and she thought it was impulsive and unplanned, and she hugged him back.

  If Adam was keeping something from her, she realized it wasn’t that he’d plotted to get rid of her. He couldn’t. His caring was genuine, she felt it right to her bones. “Thank you, Adam,” she said as he stepped back.

  “Hey, what’s this?” Ben called. “I turn my back for a minute and find my wife in my brother’s arms?” But there was humor in his voice.

  “That’s what you get for leaving her alone with such a handsome devil,” Adam told him with a wink. “C’mon, Elliot, let’s get out of here before he decides to demonstrate that spinning back kick on my face.”

  When they left, Penny found a vacant mat in the corner, and sat down there to watch Ben work. He’d emerged from the locker room dressed in the same white uniform the children all wore, but his was decorated with a black belt. The children lined up in front of him, pressed their palms together in front of them and bowed, and Ben did likewise. She saw his eyes gleam as he talked them through several simple movements, saw the way the kids responded to him. He suppressed laughter when they messed up, and patiently helped them get it right. They called him “Sensei” and looked at him with adoration in their young eyes.

  He loved these kids, and they him, she thought. And then she thought it was no wonder. Ben Brand would be an easy man to love.

  When the session ended and the mothers arrived to collect their kids, Ben waited until the last one had gone. Then he shut off the lights, locked the place up and walked Penny back to the pickup truck.

  She got in, turned to face him and said, “So where do I sign up?”

  He glanced toward her, startled. “Sign up?”

  “For lessons,” she told him. “It’s so beautiful, what you do. I want to learn.”

  His smile was gentle, but unbearably sad, as he reached out to stroke her hair. She expected him to ask her if she was sure she was up to taking lessons from him. But he didn’t. And it made her wonder….

  “Is this something I knew before? Something else I’ve forgotten?”

  “No. I took up martial arts after you…went away. I thought it might help me find some kind of…peace.”

  That made her throat tighten up. “And did you?” she asked him.

  “Not until you came back to me, Penny.”

  She lowered her head, feeling guilty because there was so much feeling for her in his eyes. “I figured my coming back had only made things harder for you.”

  “Nothing could be harder for me than being without you.”

  Why did she feel on the verge of tears? She moved closer to him on the seat of the pickup. And Ben slipped his arm around her as he put the vehicle into gear.

  “Penny…it’s hard for me to remember that all of this is brand-new to you. If I…if you feel like I’m pushing…if I overstep…just tell me, okay?”

  He was so gentle, so careful with her. “I will,” she whispered, and t
hen she let her head rest lightly upon his shoulder, and she heard his sigh of contentment.

  He stopped once on the way home. Home. God, was she really beginning to think of the Texas Brand that way? As her home?

  He ran into a small shop while she waited in the truck, and when he came out, he was carrying a tiny brown bag. He got in and handed it to her.

  Frowning, Penny reached inside. She pulled out a bag of dog treats, a brand-new leash and lastly a white rubber bone with a red ribbon around it. She squeezed the thing, and it squeaked loudly. She thought her heart was overflowing as she smiled up at him. “Ben, you didn’t have to….”

  “Sure, I did. Ollie’s part of the family now, too. Besides, if she has a bone to chew, maybe she’ll leave the clocks alone.”

  It wasn’t that he was worried about the clocks. She knew that. It was because he cared so much about her, and he knew how much she loved the dog. Was he trying to win her affection, then, by buying things for Olive?

  If he was, she realized, he needn’t have bothered. He’d already won it.

  Penny had gone up to her room to lie down right after dinner, and while Ben missed her company already, Old Blue seemed relieved to be rid of Penny’s bulldog side-kick. The stubby dog had been running circles around the old hound all evening, trying to get him to play. Blue’s most ambitious response had been to crook his eyebrows on occasion, yawn and settle more comfortably onto the braided oval rug. But he had an indulgent, mildly amused look in his big hound-dog eyes as he watched the bull-dog’s shenanigans. Unlike the look in Penny’s eyes when Ben had begun referring to her precious pal as Stubby. But that was okay. Her velvety brown eyes lit up again when he gave her the rubber bone he’d bought for the dog. You’d have thought he’d given her a diamond ring the way she smiled.

  Man, she did love that short, fat, smush-nosed mutt. But Ben was rapidly discovering it was hard not to love a dog with as much personality as Olive had.

  He was sitting now in front of the dead fireplace, wondering what the hell to do next, how he woudl sleep later, knowing she was in the room next door. How to keep himself from going to her room tonight, even if it was just to look at her as she slept.

  Then he heard voices on the porch.

  A female one he didn’t recognize at first, said, “Why won’t you tell me what this is all about?”

  Adam’s deeper voice replied, “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  The screen door banged, and the two stepped inside. Adam, and the woman who’d jilted him and broken his heart five years back. Kirsten Armstrong. She was just as pretty as ever, with masses of light brown hair like doe hide, spilling over her shoulders. But she’d changed. She wore clothes that might as well have had their expensive price tags still dangling instead of the jeans she used to live in. Her shoes had deadly looking heels, and their color matched the little purse she carried. She wore makeup and big long fingernails painted the same shade of red as her lips. It was like the old Kirsten had been the rough draft, and now she was polished to perfection. But Ben thought he’d liked the rough version better. She’d been more real back then.

  Adam was trying hard to look angry, but Ben could see the pain in his eyes.

  “Dammit, Adam, why the hell has your brother been calling the estate all day, and why did you drag me all the way out here?”

  Adam rolled his eyes. “The estate, is it? Haven’t we just moved up in the world? But I hear marrying money will do that for a girl.”

  “Don’t go there, Adam.” She glared at him, but Ben thought he glimpsed a hint of pain in her eyes, as well.

  “So has your old geezer got one foot in the grave yet? He didn’t make you sign a prenup, did he? Be a crying shame if all you’ve been giving him went to waste, wouldn’t it?”

  “Shut up!” she spun toward the door, but Adam gripped her arm, and for a moment they stood there staring at each other, sparks practically leaping between them.

  Ben cleared his throat, and they both looked toward him. “Let go of her, Adam. This isn’t about you two. You can save it, okay?”

  Adam drew a breath and released her. “Wait here.” He stalked past Ben and headed up the stairs, and Ben knew he was going to get Penny. Penny, who still didn’t know about the condition that was supposed to have killed her by now. His heart beat a little faster.

  Kirsten sighed heavily, but came farther into the room, slapping her handbag down on the coffee table and staring up the stairs after Adam disappeared. She turned toward Ben, and her frown eased a bit.

  “Hello, Kirsten,” he said. “Been a long time.”

  She nodded but didn’t meet his eyes. “I’d have stopped by. I just thought it would be…awkward.”

  “You thought right.”

  “Your brother would just as soon shoot me as look at me.”

  “Can you blame him?”

  She looked away. “I can’t change the past. Why can’t he just let it go?”

  “Like you have?” Ben asked.

  She sighed, still not looking him in the eye. “I’ve done a lot of things I regret, Ben.”

  “Was not showing up for your wedding one of them?”

  She looked up quickly. “I didn’t say that.” She paced to the bottom of the stairway, looked upward, then turned and paced back again. “Do you know what this is all about, Ben?”

  “Yes.” He said nothing more. She was nervous; that much was obvious. But he supposed having her former fiancé haul her to his home without explanation was partly to blame for that.

  “Are you going to tell me?”

  “You wouldn’t believe me. I think you’d best just wait a second and see for yourself. But first I have to warn you to watch what you say, Kirsten.”

  Her eyes narrowed, and she blew an impatient sigh. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.”

  “Wait. Just give me a minute, Kirsten—”

  “Tell Adam, when he wants to act like an adult—if that day ever comes—he can call me.” She snatched up her bag and stalked toward the door. “Until then—”

  “Just a minute, Kirsten,” Adam called, and then his footsteps came slowly down the stairs. “You might walk out on your husband-to-be, but you wouldn’t do it to your best friend, now, would you?”

  Adam and Penny descended the stairs and stood side by side at the bottom. Adam looked smug and Penny confused.

  Kirsten kept her back to him, reached for the door, and Penny said, “Adam, what’s going on? Who is she?”

  Kirsten froze where she was. Her designer handbag fell to the floor, but she didn’t seem to notice. Very slowly she turned, and when her eyes fell on Penny standing there, she went chalk white. Her lips moved, but no sound came out. And when she stumbled, Ben lunged from the chair. Adam beat him to Kirsten’s side, though it was unnecessary. She didn’t faint. She caught hold of the back of a chair and stood there blinking at Penny as if she was seeing a ghost. Hell, she probably thought she was.

  “P-Penny?”

  Ben dragged his gaze from Kirsten’s stricken face and saw Penny nod. And then Kirsten moved slowly across the room, shaking her head in disbelief. When she reached Penny, she touched her hands as if she couldn’t believe she was real. And then she wrapped her arms around Ben’s wife much the way he had when he’d first seen her. And she cried, clutching Penny close, rocking her in her arms, all her polish suddenly as transparent as glass.

  “How? Penny, how is this possible? They said you’d slipped into a coma, that you wouldn’t survive another month….I don’t….” Then she stepped back, bit her lip, lowered her head.

  Ben stood there, digesting what he’d just heard. But it was Adam who spoke. “You knew, didn’t you, Kirsten? You knew Penny didn’t die in that car accident. Didn’t you?”

  Kirsten’s shoulders were shaking now, but she didn’t answer.

  “Speak up, dammit!”

  “That’s enough, Adam.” Ben put a heavy hand on his brother’s shoulder, silencing him. “Kirsten, you have some heavy-duty explai
ning to do.” He lowered his eyes, the pain of a friend’s betrayal stinging like acid. First things first, however. “Penny, this is Kirsten Armstrong. She was your best friend from the time you both started kindergarten together. We thought she might know—”

  “What are you saying?” Kirsten interrupted. “Why are you telling her who I am when she….” She searched Penny’s face. “You know me, Penny. You know me…don’t you?”

  Penny lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t”

  “Kirsten,” Ben said softly, “she doesn’t remember anything before waking up in a clinic in Europe. Apparently you’re the only one who can tell us how she ended up there.”

  “Oh, my God,” Kirsten muttered. She pressed her palms to Penny’s cheeks. “But look at you. You look…you look…healthy.”

  “Kirsten,” Ben said, a warning tone in his voice. He wanted an explanation—not the revelation Kirsten seemed about to drop on Penny.

  “Everyone keeps saying that,” Penny told her, and she shot Ben a questioning glance. “Was I that sick before…before the accident?”

  Kirsten frowned at Ben. “She doesn’t know?”

  “Kirsten,” he said again.

  “Doesn’t know what?” Penny turned to Ben, wide brown eyes searching his face. “Ben, what is it you haven’t told me?”

  “Nothing that won’t keep. Penny.”

  “I don’t want it to keep. I want to know now.”

  “Oh, God,” Kirsten muttered. “I’m sorry….” She glanced at Adam. “You should have told me.”

  Adam shook his head, looking as if he’d finally realized how badly he’d screwed up. “I wasn’t thinking.” He glanced apologetically toward Ben.

  “You rarely do where Kirsten is concerned.” And as a result, they’d gotten way off the subject

  “Will someone please tell me what’s going on here?” Penny demanded.

  Ben lowered his head. Damn, but he didn’t want to do this to her. He didn’t want to see the life ebb out of her again the way he’d watched it do before.

  Kirsten reached out a hand to gently touch Penny’s face, and she smiled through a flood of tears. “What happened, happened because of love, Penny. Mine for you, and yours for Ben.” She sniffled. “I wished for you so many times. God, Penny, if only you knew…but you don’t even remember me.”