The Search

by Нора Робертс

  “Jesus, Simon.” Davey rubbed the cold can over his face before popping the top. “I wish I didn’t think you were right on that. I wish I didn’t think the same thing.”

  “Why are you telling me about this?”

  “I want your take. Do we contact Fee, let her know?”

  “No. She needs a couple days away from this.”

  “I’m with you on that, too, but it’s going to be all over the news.”

  “Call Syl. Tell her, and tell her to... shit, make a girl pact—no news, TV, papers, Internet. Nothing to... you know, disturb the nirvana or estrogen field or whatever the hell. Syl will know how to handle it.”

  “Yeah, she will. That’s good. That girl, Simon, she was barely twenty. Her dad was killed in an accident about two years ago. She was an only child. Her mother lost her husband and now her only child. It makes me sick.”

  He shook it off, gulped down Coke. “I guess you’ll be talking to Fee every night.”

  He hadn’t planned to. It seemed so... high school. “Yeah. I’ll be talking to her. She’s fine there.”

  But he knew as he went back to work, he’d worry until she was back home again.

  Fiona all but floated back to her villa, gliding on bliss and massaged feet. She stepped inside where the scent of flowers and the subtle strains of New Age music embraced her. She drifted through the living area with its sink-into-me furniture and glossy wood, then straight out to the pretty flower-decked terrace where Sylvia basked in dappled sunlight.

  “I’m in love.” Sighing dreamily, Fiona dropped down onto a chaise. “I’m in love with a woman named Carol who’s stolen my heart with her magic hands.”

  “You look relaxed.”

  “Relaxed? I’m a noodle. The happiest noodle in the Pacific Northwest. How about you?”

  “I’ve been detoxed, scrubbed, rubbed, polished. My biggest decision is what to have for dinner tonight. I’m considering living here for the rest of my days.”

  “Want a roommate? God, Syl, why haven’t we ever done this before?”

  Sylvia, her masses of hair messily pinned on her head, her rose-shaded glasses covering her eyes, set aside the fashion magazine open on her lap. “We fell into the busy-women-with-no-time-to-indulge-themselves trap. We’ve broken out of the cage now. And I have a decree.”

  “At your command.”

  “During our much-deserved indulgence, we’ll read only entertaining fiction and/or glossy magazines.”

  She tapped the cover of the one she’d set on the table.

  “We will watch only light, frothy, fun movies—if we so desire movies—on TV. We will banish all thoughts of work, worry and responsibility from our minds. Our only concerns, our only decisions during this time out of time will be room service versus restaurant, and the color of polish we want during our pedicure.”

  “I’m behind that. I’m so behind that I’m inside it. Mai’s not back yet?”

  “We crossed paths of bliss in the relaxation room. She said she was going to take a swim.”

  “If I’d tried that, I’d have sunk like a stone and drowned.” Fiona started to stretch, then decided it took too much energy. “Carol balanced my chi, or maybe she aligned my chakras. I don’t know how, but having my chi balanced or chakras aligned results in something beyond ecstasy.”

  Mai glided out wearing one of the spa’s cushy robes, slid into a chair. “Ladies. Is this a dream?” she wondered. “Is this all just a dream?”

  “It’s our reality, for three glorious days.” Sylvia rose, wandered inside.

  “I had the Mind, Body, Spirit Renewal. I’ve been renewed.” Mai tipped her face up, closed her eyes. “I want to be renewed every day for the rest of my life.”

  “Syl and I are going to live here, and I’m going to marry Carol.”

  “Good. I’ll be your permanent houseguest. Who’s Carol?”

  “Carol used her magic hands on my chi or chakras—possibly both—and I have to have her for my own, for always.”

  “Richie renewed me. I could marry Richie, then I could turn my back on the downward spiral of online dating.”

  “I thought you liked the dentist.”

  “Periodontist. I did, enough for a second date where he spent over an hour talking about his ex-wife. She was a bitch, never got off his back, spent too much money, scalped him in the divorce, et cetera, et cetera. Sam the periodontist goes down the tubes with Robert the psychologist, Michael the insurance exec and Cedric the lawyer/unpublished novelist.”

  “You’re better off with Richie.”

  “Don’t I know it.”

  They both glanced at the doorway, and Fiona’s eyes popped wide as Sylvia came out carrying a silver tray.

  “Champagne? Is that champagne?”

  “Champagne and chocolate strawberries. I decided when three busy women and great, good friends finally indulge themselves it needs to be celebrated.”

  “We’re going to have champagne on the terrace of our suite at the spa!” Fiona clasped her hands together. “It is a dream.”

  “Do we deserve it?”

  “Damn right.” Mai applauded when Sylvia popped the cork.

  Once Sylvia poured the glasses, Mai raised hers. “To us,” she said, “and nobody else.”

  With a laugh, Fiona clinked. “That absolutely works for me.” She took the first sip. “Oh, oh, yeah. Syl, this was inspired. It’s like the glitter on top of the shine.”

  “We need to make a pact. We do this every spring. Come here, get renewed, balanced, drink champagne and be girls.” Mai held up her glass again.

  “I’m in.” Fiona tapped glasses, grinned while Sylvia did the same. “I don’t even know what time it is. I can’t think of the last time I didn’t know, or had to think about, my schedule. I actually had one outlined for here. What time to get up to hit the gym, what classes to take, how long I’d have to take a swim or use the steam room before a treatment.”

  She mimed tearing a page from a book and tossing it away. “There’s no room for organized Fee here. Spa Fee does what she likes when she likes.”

  “I bet Spa Fee’s up before seven and trotting down to the gym.”

  “That may be.” Fiona nodded at Mai. “But Spa Fee won’t be on a schedule. And it’s all because of the amazing Carol. Five minutes on the table and I stopped wondering how the dogs were doing with Simon, how Simon was doing with the dogs, how the rest of the unit would handle it if they got a call while we are here. What the police are... No,” she decided. “I’m not even mentioning that one. Everything just blurred into a quiet ecstasy, which I’m going to perpetuate now by having more champagne.”

  They all had more.

  “How’s the dating going, Mai?” Sylvia asked.

  “I was telling Fee about the thumbs-down on the periodontist. Ex-wife-obsessed,” she explained.

  “Never good.”

  “First guy,” Mai continued, ticking off on her fingers, “obviously going off prepared remarks, and when I finally got him off-script, he was not only dull but so narrow-minded I’d be surprised if any new thought could squeeze in for consideration. Guy two, slick, self-absorbed and hoping for a quick bang. Guy next? A strange and unappealing combination of guys one and two. I’m going to give it one more shot, but I think this experiment has failed.”

  “It’s too bad. Not even a potential casual dinner companion?” Sylvia asked.

  “Not for me. I tell you, the most interesting conversations I had with the male of the species in the past couple of weeks have been with Tyson.”

  “Sheriff Tyson?” Fiona broke in. “From San Juan?”

  “Yeah. He’s looking into getting a dog, a rescue. He called me for some advice and input.”

  “Really?” Fiona picked up a strawberry, studied it. “And there aren’t any vets on San Juan Island?”

  “Sure, but I’ve got rescue dogs.” She shrugged. “It helps to talk to somebody who’s had the experience.”

  “You said conversations,” Sylvia
pointed out. “Plural.”

  “Yeah, we’ve talked a few times. He was thinking a Lab or Lab mix because he likes Fee’s dogs. But then he thought, maybe just hit the shelter and see how it went, or go online and check out what’s available and who needs a home. It’s sweet,” she added. “He’s putting a lot of time and thought into it.”

  “And checking in with you.” Fiona exchanged a glance with Sylvia.

  “That’s right. I’m going to go with him to check out the shelter once we get back from Spa Bliss.”

  “He asked you to go with him to the animal shelter?”

  “A little professional and moral support,” she began, then goggled at Fiona. “Come on! It’s not like he asked me out for a moonlight cruise. It’s not like that.”

  “A man, a single man, calls you multiple times to talk to you about one of your pet interests—pun intended,” Fiona added, “progresses to having you go out with him. But it’s not like that?” Fiona gestured to Sylvia. “Opinion, please.”

  “It’s absolutely and completely like that.”

  “But—”

  “Your radar’s skewed,” Sylvia continued. “You’ve been focused on meeting strangers, looking for a spark and common interests so you missed the approach of a man you already know.”

  “No, I... God, wait a minute.” She closed her eyes, held up her finger as she reviewed conversations, tones. “Holy shit. You’re right. It never blipped on my screen. Hmmm.”

  “Hmmm, good or hmmm uh-oh?” Fiona asked.

  “I think... good. He’s interesting, funny when he’s not being official, steady and a little shy. And nice-looking. And a little bit sneaky, which I like. Luring me into a date. I’m... flattered,” she realized. “Jesus, I’m seriously flattered. God. I’ve been renewed and I have a guy who interests me and vice versa. This is an excellent day.”

  “Then...” Sylvia topped off all three glasses. “It’s a good thing I got a second bottle in the fridge.”

  “You are so wise,” Mai told her. “Who’s for ordering dinner in here later, sitting around in our pajamas, getting lit on champagne and finishing it off with some ridiculously high-caloric dessert?”

  They all raised their hands.

  “I’m in love with Simon,” Fiona blurted out, then shook her head. “Wow, I really stepped on your Sheriff Tyson news. We can get back to this.”

  “Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding ?” Mai demanded. “Tyson—why do I refer to him by his last name?—Ben and the possibilities of dating him can wait. In love, like the big one, or in love like oh, this is so much fun and makes me feel good, and he’s really sexy.”

  “The big one, with a lot of the other, which is why I thought it was all the other, but it’s not. All, or only. Why can’t I have an affair like a normal person? Now I’ve complicated it.”

  “Life’s complicated, or what’s the point?” Sylvia beamed even as her eyes filled. “I think this is wonderful.”

  “I don’t know if it’s wonderful or not, but it is. He’s so not what I imagined for myself.”

  “You stopped imagining for yourself,” Sylvia pointed out.

  “Maybe I did. But if I had imagined, I don’t think it would’ve been Simon Doyle—not for the big one.”

  Mai propped her elbow on the table, gestured with her glass. “Why are you in love with him? What are the qualifications?”

  “I don’t know. He’s solitary and I’m not, he tends to be cranky and I don’t. He’s messy and blunt, doesn’t quibble about being rude, and only ekes out information about himself when you pump or when he’s in the mood.”

  “This is music to my ears,” Sylvia murmured.

  “Why, O Wise One?” Mai demanded.

  “Because he’s not some perfect fantasy. He’s flawed and you understand that. It means you’ve fallen for who he is, not who you want him to be.”

  “I like who he is. And on the other side of it, he makes me laugh, and he’s kind. The fact that he’s reluctant about it only gives the kindness more impact. He can’t be bothered to say what he doesn’t mean, and that makes him honest.”

  “Does he love you?”

  Fiona let her shoulders lift and fall at Mai’s question. “I don’t know, but I know if he ever says he does, he’ll mean it. For now, it’s fine the way it is. I need time to get used to the way I feel—and to be sure he’s not with me or getting involved with me because, well, I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

  “I bet he wasn’t thinking, Hey, this woman’s in trouble, when you had sex on the dining room table.”

  She nodded at Mai. “Excellent point. And one worthy of more champagne. I’m going to get the second bottle.”

  Mai waited until Fiona went back inside. “We’re right, aren’t we, not telling her about the murder?”

  “Yes. She needs this. Apparently we all do, but she needs it most of all. She’ll have to deal with it soon enough.”

  “I think he loves her, by the way.”

  Sylvia smiled. “Why?”

  “Because he told Davey to call you, not Fee, to suggest not telling her. We love her, and that’s why we’re not telling her—and I think we’d have decided not to whatever Davey said. But Simon had the same instinct. That’s a loving instinct, that’s what I think.”

  “I think so, too.”

  “It might not be the big one, but—”

  “It’s enough for now, and what she needs. Honestly, Mai, I think they need each other, and they’re both going to be better and stronger together. At least that’s what I want.”

  Mai glanced at the doorway, lowered her voice. “I told the concierge not to leave a paper at our door in the mornings. Just in case.”

  “Good thinking.”

  They heard the pop of a cork and Fiona’s shouted “Woo-hoo.”

  “Put it out of your mind,” Sylvia murmured, “so we can keep it out of hers.”

  Seventeen

  Given what she did for a living, and the gardening she’d be working on throughout the season, Fiona knew manicures were a waste of time and money.

  But this was Indulgence Central.

  Their last day, too, she reminded herself. She might as well make the most of it—and go home with pretty fingers and toes even if she’d mangle them within twenty-four hours in reality.

  Besides, it felt good.

  She admired the breezy, beachy pink on her short but currently well-shaped nails as she slid her feet into the warm, churning water at the base of the pedicure chair. A chair, she thought, that offered a slice of heaven as it vibrated up and down her back.

  Cindy, who’d given her the pretty nails, brought her a cup of water with thin lemon slices floating in it. “Comfortable?”

  “I passed comfortable and am on my way to euphoria.”

  “That’s what we like to hear. Do you want the same polish on your toes?”

  “You know, let’s go crazy on the toes. The Purple Passion.”

  “Fun!” She lifted Fiona’s feet out, patted them dry, then brushed on a warm green clay. “We’re going to let this mask set for just a few minutes, so you just relax. Can I get you anything?”

  “I’ve got it all.”

  Snuggling into her chair, Fiona opened her book and let herself fall into a romantic comedy that was as much fun as her choice of toenail polish.

  “Good book?” Cindy asked when she came back to sit and rinse off the clay.

  “It is. Exactly perfect for my mood. I feel happy, relaxed and pretty.”

  “I love to read. I like crazy horror and gruesome murder mysteries. I don’t know why they relax me, but they do.”

  “Maybe because when you’re reading the book, you know you’re safe, so it’s fun to be scared.”

  “Yeah.” Cindy began to smooth Fiona’s heel with a pumice stone. “I hate listening to the news because, well, it’s real, and so much of it’s just awful. Accidents, natural disasters, crime.”

  “Or politics.”

  “Worse yet.” Cindy laughe
d. “But when you’re reading about bad things happening in a book you can hope the good guys are going to win. I like when they do. Save the girl—or the guy—or the human race. Catch the killer and make him pay. It doesn’t always happen for real. I’m scared they’re never going to catch that maniac who’s killing those women. Four now. Oh! Did I hurt you?”

  “No.” Fiona willed herself to relax her foot again. “No, you didn’t hurt me. Four?”

  “They found her a couple of days ago. Maybe you didn’t hear. In the Cascades, in Oregon. I know it’s miles and miles away, but it really scares me. If I have late appointments, my husband comes by to pick me up. I guess it’s silly because I’m not a college girl, but it just spooks me.”

  “I don’t think it’s silly.” Fiona sipped the lemon water to ease her dry throat. “What does your husband do?” she asked to change the subject so Cindy could chatter, and she could think.

  A couple of days. Sylvia’s decree—no papers, no TV.

  She’d known, which meant Mai knew, too. And they’d kept it from her. To give her some peace of mind, she thought. A little slice of oblivion before reality grabbed her by the throat again.

  So, she’d do the same for them, she decided. She’d maintain the pretense for this last day. If death haunted her, she could, for now, keep the ghosts to herself.

  It wasn’t like him, Simon thought as he frowned at the flowers on Fiona’s kitchen table. He didn’t buy flowers.

  Well, for his mother every now and again, sure. He wasn’t a philistine. But he didn’t buy flowers for women on impulse, or for no good reason.

  Coming home after a couple days—okay, four days—away wasn’t a good reason.

  He didn’t know why the hell he’d bought them, or why the hell he’d missed her so much. He’d gotten a lot of work accomplished without her taking up his space and time, hadn’t he? And he’d drafted out more designs because he’d had more time alone, working and living on his own schedule.

  His and the dogs’, anyway.

  He liked a quiet house. He preferred a quiet house—one without the annoying obligation of having to remember to pick up his socks or hang up wet towels, or stick dishes in the dishwasher unless he damn well felt like it.