Chaos (Tessa Avery Book 1)

by Lucy Roy

  Josh nodded, a contemplative frown remaining on his face as he took a sip of soda.

  “Relax, Tess," Mary said after swallowing a massive bite of salad. “He was probably just showing off. 'Ooo, I know the Elders, woo.'” She rolled her eyes and popped an olive in her mouth.

  "Mary!" Leila laughed.

  Mary gave her a wide-eyed shrug in response.

  I smiled in spite of myself at Mary’s attempt at nonchalance. I knew that visit weirded her out just as much as it did me.

  “Okay, so hang on,” Eric began, running a hand through his hair. “Are you saying that the Elders are now, at least in part, basing their first impression of us on you?”

  “Gods, don’t sound so worried, Eric.” I frowned at him. “It was a pretty mundane conversation.”

  “No, sorry, I’m just saying—”

  “Yes, yes, it's serious," Mary grumbled with a wave of her fork. "No one's saying otherwise. As long as Tessa didn’t come off as a murderous rebel, I’m sure we’re fine.”

  I updated John and Analise on my meeting with Nathaniel later that night.

  “So you guys have never heard of liaisons meeting with newbies?”

  John pushed away the remains of his chicken parm and spaghetti, then leaned back and rested a hand on his stomach. “I haven’t, but I suppose I can see the logic.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” I twirled a bite of my spaghetti around my fork. “It’s just kind of nerve wracking, you know? To know that some guy is talking to the Elders about me?”

  Analise leaned forward and placed a hand over mine. “Tessa, your whole life—no, your whole existence, from here on out, will be nerve wracking. I don’t think you need us to tell you that.”

  I laughed. “Is that supposed to be comforting?”

  “No, honey, just realistic.”

  “What about you guys?” I finished the last of my pasta and pushed my plate away. “What was it like for you when you knew you were getting assigned to me?”

  Their selection as guardians and assignment to me was something we hadn’t really discussed much over the years. I think they’d both been focused on being a family and wanted to avoid “shop talk” outside of my lessons. Now that we were down to the wire, there wasn’t much else to talk about.

  Analise chuckled as she shot John an amused smile. “It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. I was…resistant at first. Of course, our parents saw it as a good thing.”

  I smiled. “Why did the Elders Council choose you?”

  She waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, they said I had ‘great potential’ as a parent for future Ischyra. I won’t lie, I was upset. I wasn’t terribly crazy about the idea of my future as a parent having been decided for me.”

  “Why? I thought being chosen as a guardian is a huge honor.”

  “Oh, it is!” She smiled and curled her fingers around mine. “But I was young. My parents told me what was in store for me, but I think…well, I guess I was in a bit of denial. I wanted to go to college and become a vet, but instead, I had to begin training for my guardianship right after graduation.”

  She looked at John before continuing, her eyes not leaving his. He had a small smile on his face, as though remembering a fond memory.

  “When your Gramma and Grandpa told me I would be partnered with John, I knew things would be okay.”

  “You were in high school when they told you about John, right?” I’d always been hesitant to ask for details on how their relationship began, only because I knew it hadn’t been of their own making.

  John nodded. “According to the Elders Council, Analise and I are kindred spirits,” he explained. “They paired us because, at our core, we were in sync.

  “We’d known each other for a while, and knowing I wouldn’t be paired with a stranger to raise a child, eased my nerves quite a bit,” Analise said.

  “I won her over our freshman year of high school,” John interjected with a grin. “So when my parents told me sophomore year that the most beautiful girl in school would be my partner, I was thrilled.”

  Analise rolled her eyes. “I don’t know that I’d go that far,” she said with a smile, her cheeks flushing at the compliment. “I knew he was a good person. I knew he would be good to me and to whatever child was assigned to us. We’d already developed a…friendship, so it made things easier.” She started to get a bit misty-eyed, and I was surprised to see that John’s looked a bit red, as well. “And then, when we got the call that our charge—you—had arrived…”

  She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. “Well, I was scared at first. Your arrival meant my life as a guardian was officially beginning. When I saw you, though…Tessa, when I looked into those big green eyes, I knew immediately that you were ours.”

  Now it was my turn to tear up. “How?”

  John rested his arm on the back of Analise’s chair and gave me a soft smile. “I would imagine in much the same way any parent does when they look at their child for the first time.”

  Tears were flowing quietly down Analise’s face, but the smile that reached her eyes told me they were tears of happiness. “The point to this story, honey, is that, what’s fated for us is not always a bad thing. It’s frustrating to know that, if Epimetheus had just made a better decision, listened to Prometheus’ warnings about Pandora, we might not be having this conversation.” She smiled. “But it’s because of his actions that the Elder council formed the Ischyra, so by extension, he’s the reason we have you. Maybe that’s selfish, I don’t know. I do know there is no doubt in my mind that you’ll be able to embrace your own future just as we did ours.”

  I smiled at how similar her sentiment was to Nathaniel’s. Both were able to see the silver lining to Zeus’ cunning, which made accepting their fates a bit simpler.

  “Try not to worry,” John said as he began clearing the table. “You’ll be faced with things that seem impossible, things that you think are too big for you, but I’m confident there’s nothing you can’t do.”

  He came back and crouched down so he was at eye level. “I won’t sugar coat things for you, sweetheart. I never have. This is not going to be easy, not by a long shot. You will face terrible things. Just remember where you came from, remember your training, and remember that we love you.”

  We were all quiet as I considered their words, the only sound in the kitchen coming from the ticking cuckoo clock above the back door.

  After a moment, I gave Analise’s hand one more squeeze. “Thank you, guys. Knowing you both had these feelings really helps.”

  “Any person in your situation would have these feelings, sweetheart. It’s perfectly normal.”

  I sighed, then gave her a smile. “I think I’m gonna go up and pack, maybe watch TV for a while,” I said as I got to my feet. “I haven’t packed anything yet, and this day kind of wore me out.”

  “Do you want a hand?” John asked.

  “No, I think I’m good to do it alone. What should I do with the stuff I’m not bringing?”

  “I suppose we’ll donate what you don’t need, right?” He looked to Analise for confirmation.

  “Yes, I think that makes the most sense,” she said quietly.

  “Okay.” I gave them each a hug. “Thanks for the talk. I feel a lot better now, really.”

  John cupped my cheek and smiled down at me. “Anytime, sweetie.”

  When I got to my smallish bedroom, I stopped and looked around. The hardwood floors, smooth with age, and lavender walls had been home to me for as long as I could remember. Pretty soon I’d be sharing a dorm room with another recruit, which was something I wasn’t really looking forward to.

  I brought up Netflix on my computer and put the newest season of Supernatural on as background noise, then started picking through the last eighteen and a half years’ worth of possessions to figure out what I’d be taking with me when I left for Olympia.

  I didn’t realize until that moment just how nervous I was. As I went through my things, I was hit
with the uneasy realization that the changes I was facing went much further than my musings this morning. I’d always known my future, of course, but now that my transition was just around the corner, its life-altering nature was becoming much more real for me. There was no question that I was excited to see what the future held, but as I watched my “donate” pile increase in size, I saw it as a physical reminder that I could only bring so much of “me” into my next life.

  As Sam and Dean fought demons onscreen, I began to sort through my belongings. I started with scaling my clothing collection down to a manageable amount. I packed a toiletry bag filled with my favorite makeup, brushes, and mini straightening iron. Unsure how soon I’d be able to take advantage of the shops in Olympia, I threw in travel bottles of shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and body wash. After a moment’s consideration, I threw in my razor and a few extra blades, too.

  When I turned to face my bookshelves full of books and framed photos, a lump formed in my throat.

  The photos represented the good memories of the last eighteen years. My sweet sixteen party down at the lake two summers ago when my friends and I had spent the entire day kayaking and swinging into the water from a rope swing. My first day of kindergarten, clutching my backpack tightly in small hands as I stood next to Mary, whose hazel eyes were wide with first-day terror. My second birthday, where I stared in amazement at the flickering candles on the cake in front of me.

  My three favorites sat on the top shelf.

  The first was of me, John, and Analise in a subdued driftwood frame. In the photo, I was an infant, and John and Analise were only nineteen. A liaison from Olympus had just brought me to them, and they stood in front of our house, grinning brightly as Analise clutched me in her arms, her eyes shiny with tears. John’s face wore a mixture of pride and terror that I still liked to tease him for.

  The second was a picture from eighth grade graduation in a blue and green mosaic frame. Mary, Eric, and I all stood in front of the stage in our navy-blue caps and gowns, arms around each other, grinning. Eric had just gone through a growth spurt, so he towered almost a foot over Mary and me. I shot up to five foot eight by the end of freshman year, but Mary never made it past five three.

  The one next to it was in a shiny silver frame and had been taken just a few weeks earlier at our senior prom. Eric and I, along with Mary, our friend Kellan, and Leila and Josh had all gone in on the cost of a limo. Just before we climbed in, Alan, Mary’s guardian, had insisted on a photo of us “all glammed up.” Instead of smiling, I pulled Eric into a headlock, Kellan scooped Mary up in his arms, and Leila pretended to push Josh’s face away as he leaned in for a kiss. Alan had been annoyed and forced us to stand for a normal photo next, but this one was the one I’d deemed frame-worthy.

  Smiling, I took the pictures, wrapped them in t-shirts, and added them to the “keep” pile.

  An hour later, I’d officially whittled my life on Earth down to the size of a rolling carry-on suitcase. I zipped up the bag and set it near the door, then turned to face the piles of rejected items on the floor.

  I picked up the box of black trash bags John had left on my dresser and slowly began filling them with the things I wouldn’t be taking with me. Once I was done, ten trash bags sat next to the door, ready for donation.

  I sighed and put my hands on my hips as I stared at them.

  “That’s not depressing at all,” I muttered. Turning away, I grabbed my pajamas off my bed and put them on, then climbed in, rolling to face my computer. I was able to distract myself with Sam and Dean’s antics for barely half an episode before sleep finally took me.

  “Tessa, honey, I need you to wake up.”

  That’s not Analise.

  My eyes snapped open and confusion washed over me.

  "Hey! Where'd my room go?"

  I wasn’t sure who I expected to answer, but I assumed someone had brought me to the vibrant garden I was presently standing in. A low stone wall surrounded a space that was about half the size of a football field, and flowers of every shape and color bloomed around me, their scents wafting through the air. There were vibrant red poppies, violets, lilies, roses, hyacinths, narcissus, and fragrant herbs. A bright magenta flower I didn’t recognize grew in beds all around the perimeter, and bushes of pink, white, and yellow honeysuckle lined a narrow stone path that led away from where I was standing.

  I frowned as I stared at the small blossoms. I used to love picking the small flowers when I was a little girl so I could suck the nectar, but the scents here were overpowering. It smelled off somehow, almost cloying.

  My perusal came to a halt when my eyes landed on the woman standing in front of me. She appeared youthful, no more than twenty-five, but her eyes held the wisdom of someone who’d been around much longer. Her hair was a flowing mass of red that shimmered against skin that was pale, almost translucent. She wore a long sundress that was a thin layer of sheer white over blue that mimicked the cornflower color of her eyes. Delicate straps crisscrossed over her chest and wrapped around her slender neck.

  The silver clasp in the shape of a flame that rested at her throat where the straps intersected identified her as Hestia, goddess of the hearth. Flipping through my mental flashcards, I remembered that she was the one who helped keep the rest of the Elders’ council functioning as a family and not a bunch of rogue politicians.

  She took a step closer and her piercing blue eyes searched my face.

  “Tessa, are you listening to me?” Her voice was lovely and melodic.

  “Um, yes," I said, trying to get my bearings. I was beginning to feel a bit lightheaded as I frantically tried to guess why an Elder was standing in front of me.

  “I’m Hestia," she said with a smile.

  “Yes, I know, I recognize the flame,” I said, gesturing toward her throat.

  She gave me a warm smile and touched the shining flame.

  “You remember the symbols of the Elders. I’m pleased to hear that. I wanted to introduce myself before your upcoming transition.”

  I felt my eyes go wide.

  “Oh.” I massaged my temples to try and ease the wooziness. “I mean no disrespect, but why?”

  She gave me a reassuring smile, then linked her arm through mine and started to lead me down the stone path.

  “Nothing to worry about, I promise. Tessa, the other Elders don’t know I’m speaking to you, but I thought it best we meet.”

  She turned her head to face me, her porcelain brow furrowed with concern. “You seem troubled. Why is that?”

  “I…um…” How was I supposed to answer that?

  I decided changing the subject was the best tactic at this point.

  “Where are we?” It was a beautiful place; something meant only for the gods to enjoy, certainly. Humans likely wouldn’t know what to do with such beauty.

  “We’re somewhere between my mind and yours. It’s what we call a dream walk. I’ve opened a portal connecting your mind with my own.” She gave me a conspiratorial wink.

  “Oh. Yeah, I’ve heard of those. That’s…interesting. But where are we? This place is beautiful.”

  “Ah. This is one of my ambrosia gardens on Olympus. It’s one of my favorite places to visit when I need some peace.” She gestured behind her. “My home is just up there.”

  I turned in the direction she was pointing and saw a sprawling, tan stucco mansion a few hundred yards away just up the mountain. I frowned as I turned back to her.

  “Wait. Ambrosia?” I suddenly realized what the unidentifiable magenta flowers were. The scent wafting through the air wasn’t honeysuckle; it was the nectar of the gods. Anyone who consumed it that wasn’t an immortal would just get sick, which explained my lightheadedness.

  “Yes, I do apologize, I know it’s probably making you feel a bit off-kilter. I’ll be quick, I promise.”

  “Okay, but can we sit down, please?" We were still walking but putting one foot in front of the other was becoming difficult. "I’m kind of getting a contact high f
rom this stuff.”

  Rubbing my forehead and not waiting for a response, I plopped down in the middle of the path.

  After a moment, I felt Hestia’s skirt brush against my leg as she sat down next to me.

  “Now, tell me what’s bothering you.”

  “Right.” I rested my forehead on my knees and focused on my breathing. The mountain air that flowed into my lungs felt cool, but the sticky sweetness of the garden polluted every breath.

  “Um…that guy—Nate—no, Nathaniel—he just randomly showed up at my school asking questions. And I keep having these weird dreams, but they're not really dreams because I don’t really see anything, I kind of just wake up terrified. And I’m scared because, in two days, I’m not going to be human anymore and you guys are going to send me off to fight monsters.”

  I snapped my jaw shut, cutting off my ambrosia-induced babbling.

  “I see.”

  I snorted, my slight delirium making me forget who I was speaking to. Realizing I'd just sassed a goddess, I quickly added, "Sorry."

  She gave me a gentle pat on the back. "Not to worry, dear. I do think it's a bit more than that, though."

  I thought hard. I couldn't think of anything else that had been really bothering me, aside from the thoughts that I’d been turning over in my mind for days now, and those were hardly pressing.

  Without realizing what was happening, I opened my mouth and let the first words that came to mind fall out.

  "Will I still be me once I have my power? After I'm not human anymore?"

  "Of course!” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “You will be the same Tessa you are now, just complete. Your whole human life has been building to this; all you’re doing is gaining a piece of yourself that's been dormant for some time now.”

  "I guess that makes sense." I opened one eye and gazed at her suspiciously. "Hey, how did you get me to say that?"

  She winked. "Not me, honey; it's the ambrosia."

  I rested my head back on my knees. I was just about to ask if I could go home when a different question shot out.