Questions for a Highlander
Page 79
“NO!” Kitty screamed, jerking away, but the flood gates parted anyway, bringing with them an explosion of pleasure that set her core into a rhythmic throbbing such as she had never experienced. It radiated out from her center, sending its pulsing heat through her entire body. Opening her eyes, she saw him looming over her on his knees. His golden eyes were no longer teasing but hot. Scalding. Molten.
He knew what he had done. Knew he had taken her somewhere she had never before gone. She could see it in his eyes, so dark with satisfaction. Knew there would be no living with him now. As he pulled himself over her between her parted legs, Kitty pressed her hands to his shoulders to push him back. “Can’t we just stop now?” she whispered hoarsely.
“Now, I don’t think so,” he answered in a rough, husky tone. His hand trailed up her thigh as he lowered his weight onto her, lifting her leg to allow him greater access.
“But I don’t want…” Her words faded off as his fingers found her again, stroking and fondling. “I don’t…” she tried again, her eyes closing against the sensations flowing through her body with his every touch.
“You do want,” Jack murmured into her ear. “Tell me you do.”
“Oh, Jack, I do.”
“I do too,” he growled. His chest pressed up to hers and she could feel the rapid beat of his heart matching the frantic pace of her own.
Jack entered her slowly, pulling her legs about his waist. Her heart beat even faster. He moved against her, his entire torso moving across hers with every slow thrust. Her entire body tingled from the friction of his movements as his hard chest chaffed her tender breasts. His rippling stomach caressed her soft one. His thighs warmed hers over again.
“My God, Kitty, you feel so good,” he murmured hotly in her ear, his brogue thick with feeling. “So hot, so tight. Come wi’ me, my love.”
His pace hastened and his rising excitement flowed into her, bringing her back to the brink of the ecstasy she discovered just minutes before. She could feel it building, tempting her even as Jack pushed himself up, lifting her bottom in his big hand. His rhythm increased until he was pounding into her over and over again. She arched wildly against him as the tension exploded inside of her, white hot and dazzling. Kitty could feel the scalding liquid heat of him pour into her, as Jack strained against her with a growl of animalistic pleasure before falling limply on top of her. She felt weak, boneless, and simply heavenly. Her legs fell from around his waist tiredly and she ran her hand down his back, marveling at the sweaty wetness of his skin.
His head bent, nuzzling her neck as she stroked him, running a hand up his spine and into the damp hair curling at his neck. Down again her hands stroked, until she gripped his firm buttocks in her hands and squeezed, thrusting her hips upward, grinding them together. Their moans mingled as she felt Jack harden inside of her once more. Lazily, he drew back and slowly thrust once more, pulling himself up onto his elbows to grin roguishly down at her. When he spoke, his deep brogue was thick. “Aren’t ye a greedy one, my love.”
“Again?” She raised her brows in question as he moved in her once more with agonizing slothfulness.
“I have been consumed by frustration for weeks.” His accent was so thick with desire Kitty had a hard time making out the words. “I could fook ye ’til dawn an’ still want to be takin’ ye again an’ again. Ah, me luv!” He thrust deep, with a strangled groan. “Don’t be lettin’ me down.”
Pushing his hands under her bottom, Jack lifted her hips as he raised himself and leaned back on his heels. Holding her steady, he pulled back and leisurely thrust once more, watching his lover’s face as she bit her lip against the burgeoning sensations, tightening her muscles about him as he plunged over and over, pulling deeper. Soon, she was pushing her hips up against his thrusts, frantically begging him to go faster, her head thrashing from side to side, her hands – unable to reach him – tangled in the sheets at her side.
Jack rubbed a palm across her belly, feeling the muscles there quivering, feeling the tension in her thighs. God, but she was as passionate and sensual as he had known she would be. She tested him, challenged him, dared him to control his own raging desires long enough to satisfy her even when he was on the verge of spending himself.
Biting the inside of his lip, Jack wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand and prayed for self-control. Unable to hold back any longer, he pulled her legs high around his waist and dropped back onto his forearms. Giving into her pleas for haste, he pounded into her searing depths again and again, capturing her cries with his kiss. Those passionate cries carried him higher and higher until she grasped him to her, her thighs tight around his hips, as she screamed out her release into the night. Done in by her pleasure, Jack thrust into her once more with a hoarse shout of his own, his hot seed rushing out with relief.
It could have been several minutes or an hour later when Jack finally stirred, lifting himself off her. Pulling himself up on his elbows, he grinned with lazy satisfaction down at her. “Infinitely noteworthy experience, wouldn’t you say?”
Exhausted by the amazing pleasure Jack had just given her – twice! – Kitty stared up at him in disbelief as he wiped at his dripping brow with the back of his forearm. She was boneless with contentment, her body still humming with bliss, and that was all he had to say about it? A noteworthy experience? Was that all it was to him? An opportunity to prove a point? A splash of reality cooled her more rapidly than their passion had risen, with the dreadful thought he had not experienced what she had. That this…lovemaking of theirs was just sex to him! Another noteworthy experience to add to his tally!
This was not how their affair should to be. Not a heartless exchange of sex. She thought all the affection he expressed to her over the past weeks would translate into tender moments. Being held against his heart as they lay speechless in the face of the wonder of their union, as she had been only moments before. Heartfelt moments to start a lengthy affaire de coeur that would carry them for some time to come. Moments she could embrace in the years ahead that she would face alone.
Not merely a noteworthy experience in his mind.
She didn’t know how she expected him to think of these moments exactly, but that descriptor certainly wouldn’t have been her first guess. Such a blasé reaction made her realize it truly was nothing beyond a casual affair to him. A mere meeting of bodies. She but another in a long line of lovers. If that was how he chose to think of it, what recourse did she have? None, she thought irritably. She might love and long for more, but couldn’t demand it from him. Couldn’t expect it. Damn, it made her mad she couldn’t have it all, because that was what she wanted from Jack.
Everything.
“After all the stories I’ve heard of your prowess, I would have thought it would be a wonderful, even earth-shattering, experience. But, as you say, it was merely noteworthy.” She turned her head away from him and tried to squirm out from underneath him while attempting to hide her hurt and anger. “Do you mind?”
Surprised, Jack rolled off her, but continued to stare at her as she hastily pulled on her scattered clothing. “So it wasn’t?”
“Wasn’t what?”
“Earth-shattering for you?”
Kitty turned around to find him reclined on his back, propped up on one elbow. His bare chest gleamed with sweat, the hard muscles tempting her to return. The corner of his gorgeous lips turned down in a frown. If she didn’t know better, she might think he was upset about that. Of course he was! The conceited ass simply could not imagine a woman not being overwhelmed by his expertise! “No, did you find it so?”
Jack watched as she frantically pulled on her dress and gathered her undergarments in her arms before she fled the room without a backwards glance. The door slammed behind her. “Aye, my wee lass, I did. The earth moved, the heavens trembled and the gods bowed their heads in shame. And I know you felt it, too. Aye, I know you felt it, too.”
Chapter 29
Kitty was restless, irritable and
didn’t really need to wonder why. Jack’s casual attitude to their lovemaking rankled well into a sleepless night. She knew she shouldn’t be angry with him, but she was. Fury and frustration echoed through her mind and heart. Her romantic imaginings had gone many different directions in the past few weeks when anticipating their affair, but in none had Jack been as cavalier as he had seemed the previous night.
She knew her secret hopes influenced her expectations. While her mind argued the facts – that the affair would be temporary and physical in nature – her heart simply hoped for more. Hoped Jack might turn over a new leaf. That he might feel as she did…as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Wanted to infinitely experience every moment of the previous night. Even now, she wanted him again.
She should have known she couldn’t change who he was.
Reluctant to face further disappointed by morning-after disinterest from Jack or make a cake of herself by panting after him like a love-sick girl, Kitty kept to her room and the nursery this morning, taking her breakfast with Hannah and dismissing her maid so she might wallow in her miserable turmoil alone afterward. She tried to concentrate on a book but thus far was unsuccessful in turning a single page.
Even solitary self-pity wasn’t meant to be. A soft knock on the door saw Eve sticking her head into the room. “Can I talk to you a moment, Kat?”
Kitty sighed and waved her sister to another chair paired with hers by the open window. “What is it?”
“You weren’t at breakfast,” Eve began.
“Obviously.”
“Jack passed on the news that you received a telegram from Mr. Jensen.” Eve dangled the prompt in front of Kitty and waited for a response.
“Yes, my divorce is final,” Kitty sighed, and stared out the window.
Eve studied her sister, noting the signs of lack of sleep. She expected Kat to be overjoyed her marriage was over and she was free of Hayes now. Instead, Kitty looked almost sad…or mad. She couldn’t help but ask her about it.
“I am happy about the divorce,” Kitty insisted, contrary to appearances. “I’m a bit stunned, I must confess. It was all accomplished so quickly. It really hasn’t sunk in that it is over at last.” Or that it had taken less than five minutes after learning that fact to find herself naked on Jack’s bed!
As if reading her mind, Eve launched into the purpose of her visit. “I wanted to talk to you about Jack, Kat.”
“Again?” Kitty bit her lip and stared out the window. Her whole life, she had been blessed with having a sister who was also her dearest friend. She had always had someone to bare her heart to and she loved Eve for that but, knowing Eve’s feelings about Jack Merrill, it was difficult to ask for the advice she so desperately needed.
“I’m worried about you, Kat,” Eve said softly, reaching over to grasp Kitty’s hand in hers.
“I love him, Evie,” Kitty whispered her confession in return. “And before you wrinkle your nose at the thought, please understand I see him in ways you never have.”
“But how can you say you love him?” Eve wanted to know anyway. “You barely know him at all.”
“How long did you know Francis before you knew you loved him?” Kitty challenged her sister.
“It took years before–”
“Evie!” Kitty shook her head in mild rebuke. “How long after you first met him eight years ago did it take for you to realize you loved him? And don’t try to lie to me. I was there.”
Eve knew she had no defense. She had loved her Francis at first sight and they both knew it. “But still…”
“No stills!” Kitty reluctantly offered up a wry grin. “I have known Jack Merrill over a month now, do you realize that? Despite the devil may care attitude he expresses for the most part, he is a caring, nurturing man. He is wonderful with Hannah. I feel happy when I am with him. He makes me laugh and, Evie, I trust him. I trust him never to hurt me.”
“But he is hurting you, Kat,” her clever sister deduced. “I can tell.”
“My heart, perhaps, but not my body. And not intentionally.” Kitty pressed her lips together. “He doesn’t know, Eve. He doesn’t know how I feel or what silly dreams I’ve built around him and I’ll not be the one to say anything about it. I went into this with my eyes wide open. He is what he is. He’ll never let himself become attached to one woman and, when he does marry one day, it will be a decision that has nothing to do with affection. But Evie! He has so much love to give!”
“Jack?”
“I know he doesn’t even realize it, but Jack would do wonderfully with a family of his own,” Kitty insisted. “Haven’t you seen him with the children? I’m sure Abby has told you how he is.”
Eve reluctantly nodded and conceded, “He would probably make an excellent father, but Kitty, you must know he would make a terrible husband! He hasn’t a faithful bone in his body!”
“I know and I never intended to let this go so far. I never wanted to fall in love again, especially with someone like him.” Kitty closed her eyes and imagined what she wanted for herself. “I want a man to cherish me for the rest of his days. To revel in a life as a husband and father. I want a man I can give all my love to and have it given back. I want to sit on that bench out there forty years from now with a man who still likes to simply hold my hand. I want what you have, Evie.”
“Kat.” Eve grasped her hand with tear-filled eyes.
“Don’t begrudge me my envy, Evie,” Kitty tried to laugh. “I can barely stand looking at Francis when he’s with you. You are his whole world. I just wish I could be Jack’s.”
“Oh, Kat,” Eve sighed. “Why don’t you tell him? I hate to admit it but Jack might feel more for you than you give him credit for.”
“I can’t be the one to say it, Evie!” Kitty laughed ruefully, and shook her head. “Can you just imagine the look on his face if I told him I loved him and wanted to be his wife? He’d run like a startled rabbit and never look back.”
“You haven’t much faith in him, Kat.” Eve looked pensively out the window toward the ocean. “Men can surprise you from time to time.”
“I’m not prepared to take that chance.”
“Wouldn’t it be best, then, to send him on his way before it gets any worse?”
“I wish I could.”
“I could do it for you,” Eve offered, and Kitty couldn’t help but laugh.
“Thank you but no.” Kitty sobered and met Eve’s eyes. “I’m going to have an affair with him, Evie, a nice long love affair, so don’t try to stop me. I’m going to take every bit of him I can, give as much love to him as I can, before he tires of me and moves on.”
“I would love to promise you he’ll fall in love with you in turn, but I can’t.” Eve stifled her shock at her sister’s announcement and tried to be realistic for her friend and sister. “You deserve love, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know if Jack will be the one to give it to you. Even if he does feel it, I doubt he would ever recognize it or admit it. I’m sorry.”
“I know that!” Eve raised a doubting brow. “I do! But I’m going to do it anyway. In fact, we already have!”
“Katherine Preston!”
“Oh, pish!” Kitty waved a hand. “I know you and Francis did too before you wed, so don’t be sanctimonious with me!”
“I’m not! I’m just scared for you.”
“Well, be scared for Jack right now,” Kitty went on, feeling a renewal of the ire that had inflamed her most of the night. “He made me so angry last night I wanted to slap him senseless for his idiocy.”
“I’m sure I don’t want to know details, but good for you!” Eve took her hand. “You’ll have a care for your heart then?”
Kitty gave her assurance.
“Will you come down to the parlor then?” Eve went on. “Mother wants to discuss our plans for the future, but, be warned, she is bound to try some of her matchmaking skills. She is quite enamored of the thought of another earl for a son-in-law.”
“She should pester Jack then!”
Kitty managed a laugh. “Yes, I will come down in a few moments.”
“Very well.” Eve kissed her sister’s cheek and left the room while Kitty turned back to stand at the window and stare out over the ocean beyond the wide lawns. Eve was right, of course. Kitty could never expect that Jack would change his ways or come to his senses. If she loved as she did and continued an affair with him, she was taking her heart in her own hands.
Was it a risk she was prepared to take?
Could she not?
“Your sister left your door open,” her lover offered as his rough, warm hands closed on her upper arms. “I had to follow her up since I didn’t know which room was yours. If I had, I would have been haunting this space for the past several days.” He nuzzled the back of her neck. “I would certainly have come after you last night.”
“Why would you have done that?” she asked with a shrug, while trying to maintain her equilibrium under the dizzying desire already sweeping through her with just the mere touch of his lips.
“I wasn’t done with you yet.” His deep brogue was whiskey rough against her nape. His hands crept up to cup her breasts. “I wanted to make slow love to you, Kitty. My passion for you burned so hot I could not take my time as I had wanted. There is so much more I want to explore.”
Kitty felt Jack’s tongue abrade the side of her neck before drawing her earlobe into his mouth. He bit playfully on it before sucking lightly. She couldn’t stop the shudder that swept her from head to toe. She was still angry with him, wanted to reestablish the rules as she had laid out before but logical thought fled. Passion replaced anger. Vocal rebuttal was the last thing on her mind. All that mattered was having him again.
She tilted her head to the side, mindlessly inviting him to take fuller advantage of the flesh there. To feast. And he did, opening his mouth, nipping and sucking the tender skin. His hands massaged her breasts, finding the nipples and rolling them between his fingers. Kitty’s hands rose to cover his, following the motion of his hands even as he moaned against her neck.