Questions for a Highlander

by Angeline Fortin

  They arrived at the Glenrothes mews and Harry jumped off his horse and came to her side to help her dismount. A little smile lit his eyes as he looked beyond her before he grinned up at her devilishly. “Ahh!” Harry said as he reached up to grasp her around the waist. “Here is the first moment to test my theory. Behold! Richard, Haddington and your oblivious knight approach,” he jerked his head slightly to the left. “No! Don’t look. Just allow me. Let’s give him something to look at, shall we?”

  Moira sniffed. “I hardly think he’d notice.”

  “It’s for nothing if there is not effort, my love.” He picked her up from the saddle and slowly lowered her to the ground before him with a waggle of his brows and a look so sickeningly adoring that Moira was hard-pressed not to laugh. Harry bent his head and pressed his lips against her ear. “He glares at me with murder in his eyes as I whisper sweet-nothings in your ear, Moira darling. If you cannot see that, I think you might be as blind as he.”

  Harry stepped back and brushed a light kiss across her lips before deepening it, holding it for a moment. “Now you may look.”

  Moira turned to find Richard and Jack leading their mounts into the mews, but Vin was still astride and, yes, glaring down at Harry. Blushing deeply, Moira tried to take a step away from Harry but he held her firmly by the hand. “Ahh, good day, gentlemen. How was your ride this fine morning? Good that the rain has stopped but still chilly, yes?”

  Jack came over and held out his hand for Aylesbury to shake. “Aylesbury! Good to see you again!”

  Richard smiled down at Moira as he, too, shook the marquis’ hand. “Join us for luncheon, won’t you? I think I’d be very interested to hear what you’ve been up to. I’m certain Eve won’t mind.”

  “Indeed I shall if Lady Moira wants me to. Do you, my love?” Harry raised a questioning brow.

  “I’m sure you’ll do as you please, Harry.” Moira shook her head with a reluctant smile.

  “Shall we?” he held out an arm.

  “I shall follow,” Moira said. “You know that Evie likes to make sure that her Angel is well taken care of after a ride.”

  “Shall I wait?”

  “No, go ahead. I’ll need to change before luncheon anyway.” Moira waved them off and turned leading Eve’s massive black Frisian, Angel, into the stables, aware that Vin had dismounted and was following her. She could feel the heat of his eyes on her as if he were touching her and she wanted him to. Wanted to feel his kiss again as she had last night. This time, however, she wanted him to be aware of it as well.

  Vin trailed after the long train of Moira’s riding habit like a hound puppy being trained to hunt by waving a rabbit before it. Swish. The skirts danced to the left and right as she walked and he followed like a hound on the scent. Why couldn’t he stop? Why did the sight of that rake Aylesbury kissing Moira set his very teeth on edge? Knowing now that he wasn’t Moira’s husband, he wanted to pound the fellow into the dirt for laying his hands on her. Vin told himself that he’d be doing what any friend might or that he was acting as her brother would if he were the one here.

  The thought did not hold the ring of truth.

  “Why haven’t you married yet, Moira?” he heard himself ask as he followed her into the barn. “Aylesbury is obviously game and you’re... what? Twenty-six years old now?”

  After several minutes of feeling his hot gaze on her, this line of thought was the last thing Moira had expected to be questioned about. Why did she continue to hope? To listen to Eve and Harry? Because he gave her reason to, her mind argued. The look on his face when he’d seen her in Harry’s arms had seemed to hold some jealousy, hadn’t it? He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since then and it raised her optimism. By focusing so intently on her, Vin was showing his attraction.

  Only to let her down again. “Twenty-seven,” she bit out through teeth set in disappointment.

  “Twenty-seven then and you have truly not married yet?”

  “This is all sounding strangely familiar. Have we not had this conversation before?”

  “I believe we have and I am still curious why you have not wed. Do not tell me you have had no offers in all these years?” Latching on the distracting conversation, Vin wasn’t about to let it go so easily.

  “There have been offers. I am, after all, now the sole heir to two of the most powerful men in Scotland,” she reminded. “I’ll be a Countess and a Marchioness in my own right one day, but I fail to see where that might concern you, Vin.”

  “Come, Moira, are we not friends? Has it not always been so? There was a time when there was nothing you could not tell me.”

  “Aye, there was a time.” Moira sighed in defeat as she handed Angel’s reins to a waiting stable boy and gave him instructions to his care. Walking past Vin to leave the stables, Moira caught the look on his face. He looked so concerned, she thought. He did care, of course. He always had. Just as her brother had. Vin caught up with her on her way back to the Glenrothes townhouse. “If you must know, the right man has never asked me.”

  “The right man?”

  “The only man.”

  “The same man you mentioned once before?” he asked in surprise, remembering the conversation from years past. “All these years you’ve been waiting on the same man? Have you never once told him how you feel? Aye, I ken you said you never would, but, Moira! Where is that bold outgoing lass I knew who spoke her mind and damned the consequences?”

  “You do not simply tell a man you love him when his affections are not equally engaged, Vin.” Moira shrugged again, that careless little shrug of old that he was so familiar with. Vin knew from the past she only did that when she was uncomfortable and wondered why this one topic seemed to bother her so. “Besides,” she continued. “I had not seen him in some time until recently.”

  “He is married then? I see.”

  “No, he is not married.”

  “Why not tell him then? Why not take the chance? You were once all about chances.” As a young lass, Moira had been the most daring person he’d ever known. She'd do anything; try anything just to have Jason look at her with pride. He’d never known her to back down from a challenge.

  “No, I will not. It is not important any longer.” She shrugged and hurried ahead of him to the back door of the townhouse.

  Though he had seen that gesture many times, Vin realized for the first time the pain it disguised. “You love him still?” he asked softly.

  Moira turned at the door looked him square in the eye. “I have never stopped.”

  Vincent’ chest clenched unpleasantly at the sincerity of her words. So surprised by it was he, he actually raised a hand to rub the offended area as though he could soothe away the hurt. Why did he feel so pained? Her words echoed in his mind. ‘I have never stopped.’ Moira was so in love with this unknown man that she had never married. Vincent couldn’t quite finger what it was about that upset him so and felt a fool for it.

  Chapter 16

  Keep your face always toward the sunshine –

  and shadows will fall behind you.

  - Walt Whitman

  Vin couldn’t sleep that night and knew it was for reasons other than those that normally plagued him. Nightmares of torture and death would come no doubt if he were able to find slumber, but the waking visions that inundated him tormented in ways that were almost worse. He kept picturing Moira with that Aylesbury fellow. The man he had assumed was her husband. Saw them laughing together, saw Aylesbury with his arms wrapped around her and saw them as he had that morning, staring at each other as the man kissed her and whispered in her ear.

  During the entirety of his ride with Richard and Jack, he was able to think of little else. It was an enormous surprise that morning to learn they weren’t already wed and he had been certain they would marry soon. Until she told him of the other man. The one she never stopped loving. Did Aylesbury know of the man as well? Was that why they hadn’t wed? He could hardly imagine what the fellow was waiting for otherwise because
if the marquis had any thoughts like those that were tormenting Vin, then life would not be complete until he bedded her.

  He groaned loudly into the silence of the room. Those were the other thoughts that plagued Vin. Now that he knew she was there, Vin couldn’t help but picture Moira lying in her bed in the room above him with her hair loose and spread out on the pillow. Her warms open and a welcoming smile on her sweet lips as she pulled him down to her fragrant, soft body. Vin groaned and flopped onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillow and cursing himself. He shouldn’t be having these thoughts about her! He shouldn’t be imagining her naked body entwined with his.

  She was his friend, one of the closest confidantes he’d ever had. She was his best friend’s sister. He could just imagine Jason coming back from the dead and beating him senseless for having such thoughts of Moira. He needed to banish these images from his mind so he might be able to see her again as just another friend like his brothers or Jack or Jason.

  But, by God, he’d never wanted to treat a friend as he wanted to treat her.

  Throughout the entire afternoon from luncheon on he hadn’t been able to stop devouring her gorgeous body with his eyes. She played chess with Laurie that afternoon and then with Eve. The look of concentration on her face had been entrancing. When he came down for dinner – another with all his siblings present - Moira appeared in a ball gown of golden silk that set her hair ablaze and her skin a blush. The gown thrust her glorious breasts up so far that his hands had itched to cup them, mold them. Feel their heat in his palms.

  Then that Aylesbury reappeared to whisk her off for a night of dancing. He slipped her cloak over her shoulders, kissing the bared skin and caressing her until Vin thought he would be unable to restrain himself from thrashing the fellow. And he knew it would not be for his violation of propriety against his friend’s sister but because Vin wanted to be the one to do the same.

  God help him, but he was envious and he knew it! Knowing now that she wasn’t even married, that she was a single woman, Vin wanted to be the one caressing her bared flesh and kissing her long, slim neck. The lust he felt was nearly driving him mad!

  Ugh! He needed a woman!

  Another image of Moira naked in his arms flooded his mind again and Vin couldn’t hold back the audible groan of frustration. He flipped over to his back and reached down under the blankets to cover his rampant erection with his hand. As he did so he caught a shadow at the door. A moment later Moira herself appeared and he moaned again as she stood framed in the doorway. Her rich red locks were unbound and fell in waves and thick curls down to her waist. Even clad in a sensible bulk of dressing and nightgown against the chill of the winter’s night, her voluptuous curves shadowed in the light of the fire, overemphasizing the dip of her tiny waist and the curve of her breasts and hips.

  How was it possible for a woman of her delicate stature to be so curvaceous? Surely, those breasts would spill over his hands? Vin rubbed his hands over his face hoping that she was merely a vision, a figment of his imagination. That he was only dreaming. If not, at least hoping that she couldn’t see the tented covers in the dim lighting and garner the reason.

  “What are you doing in here, Moira?”

  Moira jumped at his rough grating voice. “Oh! I’m sorry, Vin. I thought you were having another nightmare and came to see if you were all right.”

  Vin lowered his hands a bit to look at her. “How did you know I have nightmares?”

  “I’ve heard you at night,” she admitted hesitantly. “I’m sorry, I’ll go now.”

  Vin frowned in chagrin. Just one more weakness Moira knew of. Soon he wouldn’t be a magnificent hero in her mind any longer but a spineless remnant. It embarrassed him that Moira knew of his restless nights. He thought only Sung Li was aware of the images that troubled him in his sleep. But better, he supposed, to have Moira know of the nightmares than the other thoughts troubling him. She’d never be comfortable in his presence again if she knew. “You’ve heard me before?”

  “It’s how I knew you were home that first night,” she admitted, lingering in the door and staring at his bared chest in fascination. Vin pushed himself up onto his elbows and, with the covers down at his waist; she could see the hard ridges of his abdomen as the muscles flexed with his movement. The firelight played in every dip and rise creating a landscape of hills and deep valleys Moira longed to explore. His chest and shoulders, too, were alluring. Perhaps it was only the flickering light but his chest seemed to flex and bulge and it seemed as if she could see the movement of his heart beating, but surely, it would not be beating so rapidly.

  Hers was though. Damn, Harry had been right. She might not be able to picture the marquis in such a setting but she imagined Vin this way a hundred times in her mind. She longed to touch him. To rub her palms over that bared skin and to put her mouth on him as she had seen in the naughty books she had found. Vin made Moira want to discover if her body could do all the things and bend in all the ways they had shown. Swallowing deeply, Moira knew she should turn away, but she couldn’t stop herself from stepping into the room. What would he do if she untied her robe and let it fall to the ground, she wondered. What would he do if she went to the bed and crawled up over him?

  He ought to cover his chest lest he offend her, Vin thought, but Moira had seen him thus in years past when they would all swim together in Loch Carron near her family’s home. The sight of a man’s bared chest had never bothered her before, but as Vin watched as hers eyes took him in, felt her gaze race like flames over his flesh, he thought perhaps it bothered him now. She looked like she wanted to eat him up, Vin thought. Damn, but it was all his imagination! He knew it. Just wishful thinking. Bloody hell, he needed to cool his blood. Perhaps his brother Jamie would know of a quality establishment where he might see the problem taken care of the next night before this inappropriate lust got out of hand.

  Still Moira lingered in the doorway and Vin pushed himself into a sitting position to hide the erection that continued to stir under the covers. She was a friend, he reminded himself. He had even thought her a married woman until that morning. His reaction was appallingly inappropriate.

  “You should go,” he whispered.

  “I should go,” she whispered in return but instead her body propelled itself a step farther into his bedchamber.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” his voice a bit more desperate now. “If someone were to see you…”

  “No one has before.” Moira bit her lip as the words popped out.

  Vin’s attention was finally drawn away from her breasts as the word sunk in. “Before?”

  “It’s nothing. I’ll go.” Moira turned.

  “Moira.” Vin’s voice held a threatening note. “What did you mean before?”

  Moira turned back reluctantly, admitting, “I’ve come during the night before. Your cries…” she paused when Vin scowled. “Well, the sounds woke me that first night you returned and I was curious what it was. I came here and saw that you were having a nightmare. So I came in,” she walked slowly back into the room as if to demonstrate. “I intended only to wake you from your torment. I sat on the side of your bed,” Moira put her softly spoken words into action. “And I put my hand on your forehead. It seemed to calm you so I continued.”

  Vin felt Moira’s soft hand caress his cheek, closing his eyes in denial. “You stayed.”

  “Yes.”

  “And came again the next night? And the next?”

  There was a pause, but then, “Yes.”

  Vin nearly groaned in humiliation that Moira had nursed him through those tortured nights. That she had seen his weakness…but then, the truth dawned. Moira was the angel who brought him peace in the nights. He thought it was Scotland, his home! His own success with the meditation. But no! He ground his teeth in frustration that he could not even manage a night’s sleep on his own! After all that time with Sung Li and practicing the Qigong, Vin thought he was learning to control his life. That he was gaining the upp
er hand on his past.

  That he had found it in himself to conquer the night.

  “You’ve come here every night for a week? Every night since my return?”

  Moira shook her head. “Not every night.”

  “You didn’t come the night before last.” It was not a question.

  “No.”

  It hadn’t been him at all but the hand of a woman, the gentle touch of a female who turned away the darkness and brought a measure of peace. He slept soundly only when she was present. It was degrading to have thought so much of himself only to have those delusions destroyed, but Vin supposed he should be glad that it had been Moira and not another. Moira cared for him, he knew. Carried love for him in her heart. He knew she considered him as much a brother as Jason had been.

  He felt he could count on her to bear his burden in silence. He knew he could trust her to keep the truth of his restless nights to herself. She wouldn’t betray him or mock him to the others. Moira understood him better than any other in his life right now. Vin felt he should be thankful that he had her here to help him heal. She might truly be the closest friend he had right now.

  And he betrayed that friendship with lust and envy. Even now, her gentle touch was soothing him and boiling his blood at the same time. He wanted her, but accepted that he needed her as well, needed her to be his angel of the night. He’d do anything to keep her near. If he needed to conquer one to have the other, he would.

  Vin opened his eyes and nearly had that newly formed resolve dissolve into dust. Her face was close to his as she brushed her fingers down his cheek lightly raking her nails in the day’s growth of whiskers. Her eyes were soft with affection and caring but damn, her lips were tempting!