Awakening: A Christian Romance Novel

by JoAnn Durgin

  Sam stopped kissing the softest part of her neck and grazed her lips once more before releasing a low, guttural moan from somewhere deep in his throat. He collapsed on the ground beside her. Even though she’d never heard that particular sound before, Lexa knew without a doubt it was a groan of desire. Unfulfilled desire, but desire nonetheless. She wanted to groan, too. But they were right to stop.

  “Lexa,” Sam said, raising on one elbow as they lay side-by-side on the ground, “you are so beautiful in every way. And right now, every manly, earthly, lustful, sinful desire within me wants you more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my entire life.” He leaned in close for another deep kiss. Groaning again, he struggled to a sitting position. “It’s also best if we stay upright. Safer that way. Rolling around in the dirt with you is fun, but it’s way too tempting.”

  She felt dazed. It would take a moment to recover her senses and see straight. He helped her reach a sitting position beside him. Seeing that several buttons on her cotton blouse had come undone, Sam reached for her with trembling hands. His eyes caressed her, making her shudder. She’d never felt this intense a physical response before, and it both thrilled and scared her. Lexa watched him, her eyes wide and full of emotion.

  “Are you buttoning . . . or unbuttoning them?” The night was so quiet and still. Surely he could hear how hard her heart pounded.

  “Against my every instinct, my every desire, but abiding by my better judgment,” Sam told her at length, closing his eyes as his fingers paused, “I am buttoning them for you. I love you too much to not button them.”

  Lexa watched in silence as this dear man opened his eyes and sat back to gaze upon her with a look all at once so loving and full of longing it made her heart stop. His adoration for her shone in every nuance of his face, his every movement, his every glance.

  “There will be a time for us. When it happens, in God’s timing, it will be spectacular, I have no doubt. But tonight,” he said, a faraway glaze in his eyes, “and really for the first time ever in my life, I can understand why Josh and Shelby were so tempted. I’m very sorry I put you in that position. It wasn’t fair to you.”

  She nodded. “Don’t be. I wanted it as much as you, trust me. But I’m sorry if I did something wrong, tempted you in some way.” She shot him a coy grin. “You were bound and determined to button my blouse tonight—one way or the other—weren’t you?”

  Sam laughed and pulled her close again. “You’re always tempting, Lexa. You’re like the peach pie cooling on the stove that can’t be sampled until Thanksgiving dinner. The wrapped present under the tree that can’t be opened until Christmas.”

  His sigh was deep and prolonged. “It was so tempting to throw caution to the wind, and make love to you tonight. Lord knows, that’s what I wanted. You and I are both adults. Undeniably hot-blooded, passionate adults,” he mumbled, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair. Sam touched the side of her face in what was becoming a precious, sweet gesture. His fingers lingered as he held her gaze.

  “Even though I know God is watching, I like to think He understands our struggles. Above all, I want to honor Him by respecting you enough to keep you pure. I’ve never been intimate with a woman, and it will be you, but in God’s time. As hard as it is—and the Lord knows how difficult it is—I can wait.” He winked. “Hope it’s not too hard for you.”

  She smiled and laced her fingers through his. “Don’t flatter yourself. But you’re awfully hard to resist, Mr. Lewis. I appreciate your honesty.”

  Sam looked at her with a look of longing before shaking his head and letting his fingers drop back to his lap. “It’s a beautiful thing how God knew that man needed woman, and then gave us the ability to love, emotionally and physically.”

  “All in good time, Sam. All in good time,” Lexa promised with a soft smile, reaching with one finger to trace his lips.

  “Trust me, beautiful girl,” he told her, kissing her fingertips before leaning over to kiss her forehead, “it will definitely be well worth the wait, and God will honor our decision. Suddenly, though, this cowboy feels very old.” His grin was wry, those smile lines never more endearing.

  ~~**~~

  After leaving the mission and walking for the better part of an hour, they reached a convenience store where Sam called for a taxi. They rode in silence, and he dozed a little, leaning his head on her shoulder. She stroked his hair and closed her eyes, thanking the Lord for keeping them safe and praying for Sheila and Angelina.

  Even though they’d been up all night, as the dawn started to emerge on the horizon, they sat together at the camp, leaning against their special tree. “I pray Sheila and Angelina are all right.” Lexa rested her head against his strong shoulder. Her back was to him with his arms wrapped around her.

  “I know, baby. I know.” She closed her eyes as Sam prayed for safety for her roommate and her daughter, as well as for Howard. The night sky faded on the horizon as they enjoyed the quiet closeness without anyone else around.

  As she turned to face him, Sam smoothed Lexa’s hair away from her face and lightly kissed her cheek.

  “I’m sorry I was so sarcastic. It’s my instinctive reaction in times of stress, I suppose. Kind of a self-defense device. That and the history lessons.” They laughed together. Sam’s eyes searched hers for a long moment. “I’m so thankful you weren’t hurt. In case I haven’t told you lately, I love you, Lexa.”

  “I love you, too, Sam. More than you know.”

  He helped her reach a standing position, steadying her when she swayed a bit. Wrapping his hand around hers, they walked together toward the dorm and their uncertain future together, whatever it might bring.

  God had a definite plan in bringing the two of them together. The relationship with Sam was right, and while it wasn’t perfect, life didn’t get much better. As they walked, she squeezed Sam’s hand tight, releasing a long sigh of pure contentment.

  CHAPTER 44

  The night of the farewell party was beautiful, warm but with enough of a breeze to make it more bearable than in recent days. Lexa sat on her bed with the wrapped gifts for Sam beside her. The brown suede Indiana Jones-style hat was in the bigger box to be presented to him in front of the entire crew. Picking up the smaller box containing the watch, Lexa tucked it beneath her pillow for a later time. It was something to give Sam in private.

  “Ready?” Rebekah ran a quick brush through her long blonde tresses.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

  “You look really pretty, Lexa. But tonight is rather difficult for you, isn’t it?” Rebekah was pretty perceptive about her relationship with Sam. “Have you two made any decisions about your future?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry for prying into your personal business. Just give me the Nibby Nose Award already.”

  They both laughed. “I wish I could tell you that Sam and I have worked everything out, Beck, but we haven’t. It’s true that only the Lord knows at this point.”

  They walked together in the direction of the dining tent where the party was starting and refreshments were being served. A portable CD player and speakers pumped out contemporary Christian music, providing a stereo effect throughout the entire area.

  As they approached the tent, Lexa’s eyes scanned the gathering crowd for Sam. While she didn’t want to rush over to his side like a leech, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him since their time together at the camp was dwindling. She comforted herself with the thought that he promised to call her when he was back in Houston a few days after the workers left the worksite.

  “Lexa.”

  Turning, Lexa smiled into Sam’s startling blue eyes. Tonight he wore a red, long-sleeved shirt, rolled at the cuffs and tucked into his jeans. He looked even more handsome in red. It intensified the gorgeous hue of those amazing eyes. The cowboy hat was conspicuous in its absence, his dark hair in need of a haircut after the summer spent at the camp. It covered his ears and fell in soft waves over his c
ollar.

  “You look lovely.”

  “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.” Being dramatic, she sniffed. “Is that aftershave?” Lexa laughed as he gave her a shrug accompanied by a sheepish grin.

  “Listen, I got some good news a few minutes ago.” He took her hands and pulled her aside. “The state police called. It seems Howard stopped at a mini-mart outside the city last night, intent on relieving them of their cash. When he realized he didn’t have the gun, the clerk pulled a gun on him.” Sam grinned. “Long story short? Sheila and Angelina are safe and sound, and Howard will be in jail for a good long while.”

  “Sam! Thank the Lord you were right!” Lexa threw her arms around his neck in a big hug, not caring that other TeamWork volunteers watched. Sam embraced her, giving her a quick kiss. He obviously didn’t care everyone knew they were an item, and it thrilled her. Who was she kidding? They all probably knew before she and Sam did, judging by the reaction of her roommates alone.

  “There’s more.” Enthusiasm infused the deep timbre of his voice. “The police also picked up your favorite car. It’s being delivered to me right here in the camp sometime late tomorrow morning. Which means I’ll be able to drive you back to meet your bus after all—in style. In the bomb I know you love so very much.”

  Sam laughed again as he glimpsed Lexa’s skeptical expression. “Love me, love my bomb. Seriously, Lexa, I love how you saw Sheila’s underlying strength more so than any of the rest of us. Just another reason to love you.” He dropped a quick kiss on her nose.

  Lexa released a sigh. “I’ll pray that Howard might see the light, so to speak, and realizes his need for Someone other than himself to help turn his life around. He loves Angelina without question. Hopefully, she can be the guiding light he needs.” She shrugged. “Sounds like he’ll have plenty of time for thinking now that he’s behind bars.”

  Sam nodded. “Now, then, on to our party. Want some punch?”

  “Why, I’d love some, Mr. Lewis.” Taking his proffered arm, Lexa walked into the tent by his side. As she watched Sam, his eyes alive with excitement as he talked with his TeamWork volunteers, Lexa gloried in the fact this wonderful man loved her. He attended to her needs at the party—making sure her punch cup was full, including her in his conversations, listening with rapt attention whenever she had something to say. Hooking his arm through hers on several occasions, Sam made sure everyone knew how important she was to him. Lexa’s head was spinning. The Lord had blessed her immeasurably.

  The two of them talked and laughed with various members of the volunteer staff for over an hour until Winnie and Natalie sounded the dinner gong to get everyone’s attention. Reaching beneath the podium, Winnie pulled out the wrapped package.

  “We have a little presentation to make. Sam,” Winnie called, looking around the crowd, “would you come up here, please?” It wasn’t hard to find him since he was the tallest man in the group. He smiled as several of the men slapped him on the back and whooped, whistled and hollered as he headed toward the front.

  Watching him, Lexa’s eyes filled with tears. She turned away for a moment. Noticing her dilemma, another girl standing near Lexa handed her a tissue. Blowing her nose, Lexa smiled her thanks.

  After the presentation was made, along with a few humorous awards, Sam strode back to Lexa’s side with his new hat perched proudly on his head. “So, what do you think, Most Promising TeamWork Volunteer?” Acting silly, he postured in front of her with a big grin.

  “I definitely like it,” she told him with an admiring glance. “Just don’t let it go to your head.”

  Sam laughed. “Beautiful and witty!” Grabbing her hand in his protective grasp, he leaned close, whispering in her ear. “What do you say we wrap this up and blow this popsicle stand?”

  Lexa laughed and nodded her agreement.

  A short time later, as most of the group started to disburse, Sam and Lexa walked together. “So, did you ever find out what happened with the money?”

  “You know, it’s a funny thing about that.” He stopped walking and gave her an odd look. “I went into the office to write out my report and found an envelope on my chair. Containing exactly five hundred dollars.” His eyes softened. “Seems there’s no need to make a report. Know anything about that, Miss Clarke?”

  Lexa hid her grin. “Not a thing except to say your volunteers love you, Sam. And no,” she added, “no one else knows about the missing money. It’s our secret.”

  “It’s not your money, is it, Lexa?”

  She shook her head. “The donations for your hat came in at exactly five hundred dollars more than we needed.” She shrugged. “Call it a donation for TeamWork and enjoy the hat.”

  Sam smiled. “The Lord always has a way of working these things out, doesn’t He?”

  “In the most inventive and marvelous ways.” Lexa beckoned him near. “Come closer, please. Much closer.” She loved that he still wore his glasses from when he made his final remarks to the TeamWork crew at the party. All the more fun to remove those glasses.

  The playful look she adored creased Sam’s smile lines in a most charming manner, and it turned her inside out. In a very good way. “I really adore a man in glasses, but . . .”

  He pulled back, teasing. “I hope you don’t mean just any man?”

  Lexa’s heart swelled. “The man standing in front of me now. The man with the most beautiful heart I’ve ever known.” With painstaking care, she inched the glasses down his nose.

  “You’re taking way too long.” Sam yanked them off his face to spare her the trouble. “Save that for when we’re old and gray.” Taking her in his arms, he kissed her silly—so much so, Lexa needed his support. Or maybe she was holding him up. They definitely needed each other.

  “Not to change the subject,” Sam said a good while later, “but you don’t really hate my bomb, do you?” He looked a little goofy with a hazy, besotted expression.

  Lexa laughed. “You know, believe it or not, I’ve grown rather fond of that old station wagon. If your old bomb means that much to you, then I kind of love it, too.” She leaned her head against Sam’s chest, snuggling into him. His arms found their way around her, holding her close, secure and safe from everything in the world. Dwarfed by how tall he was, Lexa cherished how Sam made her feel statuesque.

  “Glad to hear it.” He sounded relieved. It was amazing how much that old station wagon meant to him.

  “It’s not the most romantic place, is it?” Lexa scanned the barren landscape around the worksite.

  “On the contrary,” Sam said, watching her. “To me, it’s one of the loveliest places on earth.”

  Lexa stared at him, wide-eyed. “Oh? Had your eyes checked lately?” She grinned. “Maybe you should put your glasses back on.”

  Sam didn’t laugh. “Considering it’s the place where I fell in love with you, it seems full of its own unique charm.”

  Lexa sighed. “You’re making this even more difficult when you say things like that.”

  Sam took her hands in his. “This is just the beginning, you know. It’s not the end.”

  “I know.” Lexa couldn’t prevent the tears from forming and starting to slide down her cheeks. “I’m afraid,” she admitted, looking up to meet his eyes.

  Raising her chin with his hand, Sam smiled. “I’ll never leave you, Lexa. There are two things you can always count on—the love of the Savior and my love for you.”

  As much as Lexa wanted to believe Sam’s promise, it was difficult since her father had abandoned her when she was a child after her mother’s death. Other than providing for her physical needs, he’d never been there for her in other ways, and she wondered if she could ever count on any man. But, if she could count on any man, it would be this man.

  “I only have one regret,” Lexa murmured, her cheek resting against the soft cotton of his shirt. She burrowed her head, taking a deep breath.

  “Hmm?” Sam sounded far away. “What’s that?”

  “I ne
ver got to see the Alamo.”

  “You’re right.” He chuckled. “That is a crime. But,” he said, “I’ll make you another promise. One year from today, I will meet you at the Alamo. How’s that?” He laughed at her incredulous stare. “I’m not kidding. No matter where TeamWork sends me in the next year, I’ll meet you in front of the Alamo exactly one year from today. The TeamWork foreign mission will actually be a few days less than a full year. So, I’ll be definitely be back in a year’s time. To meet you here in San Antonio. At the Alamo.”

  “I don’t know,” Lexa answered, shaking her head with a slight grin as she looked back up at Sam again. “That sounds like a movie plot to me. You know, the one where the two star-crossed lovers agree to meet on the top of the Empire State Building a year later if they still have feelings for one another.”

  “I must have missed that one,” Sam murmured, tenderly nuzzling her hair with his lips. “Do they meet up again?”

  “Yes, but not without first going through tragedy and heartache.”

  Meeting her gaze once more, Sam placed tender hands on her cheeks. “I promise you I’ll be there, Lexa—at six o’clock sharp,” he added with a quick laugh. “The only reason we won’t meet at the Alamo in one year’s time is if you decide you don’t want me.”

  “I’ll always want you, Sam Lewis.”

  Lowering his lips to hers, Sam sealed his promise with another unforgettable kiss.

  ~~**~~

  In the middle of the afternoon the following day, Sam pulled the station wagon up to the Greyhound terminal, twenty minutes before Lexa’s bus was scheduled to leave for Houston. They were both silent during the drive from the camp, each lost in their own thoughts and dreading the actual moment of good-bye.