Chasing Christmas

by Shanna Hatfield

  When they both ended up on the floor on either side of the bed due to their stubbornness, Chase had picked her up and playfully tossed her back in the bed, telling her not to be so mule-headed. They’d kept to their own sides, although everything in Jessie wanted to roll over into her husband’s strong arms.

  Unsettled enough without thinking about how desperately she wanted her husband to love her, she considered sneaking out the back door and hiding until everyone left. Before she could give the thought more merit, the crunch of tires on gravel drew her to the front window. Chase parked the truck at the end of the walk and slid out.

  Lucas had directed everyone to park on the far side of the barn where Chase couldn’t see the vehicles from the house.

  With any luck, he was none the wiser to the party-goers awaiting his arrival. He certainly didn’t give any inclination he suspected a house full of guests waited inside as he carried a big watermelon under one arm, strolling leisurely up the walk and whistling to himself.

  Jessie knew he was still flying high from winning the bull riding event at the Pendleton Round-Up yesterday afternoon. In addition to the prize money, he’d walked away with a trophy saddle, a championship buckle, a pair of boots and spurs, a leather jacket, a Pendleton wool blanket, a new felt hat, a pocket watch, and a gear bag.

  The blanket would look great in Chase’s bedroom. As soon as he left to hit a few late season rodeos next week, she planned to paint his room and add new bedding as well as the headboard she’d ordered custom built for him. She’d planned to have his room ready for his birthday, but with him home so much the past few weeks, she hadn’t been able to carry out her plans.

  “Okay, everyone, get ready,” she said, and then hid behind the stairs.

  Chase opened the door and raised his voice. “I’m home, Jess! I got the biggest one I could find. Do you think we have time to chill it before…”

  “Surprise! Happy Birthday!” People jumped from behind furniture and around corners, startling Chase so badly, he had to do some quick grabbing to keep the melon from hitting the floor in the entry.

  “Hey, what’s all this?” he asked as he recognized the faces of his friends.

  “Happy Birthday, man. It’s too bad you had to spend your birthday at the rodeo wiping the arena floor with the competition yesterday. That ninety-point ride and championship title were quite a present.” Cooper thumped Chase on the back then took the watermelon from him so Chase could greet the rest of his friends.

  Jessie intercepted the melon as Cooper made his way to the kitchen and sent him back to visit with their friends.

  The kitchen was a place she felt safe and at ease. Mentally, she ran through her menu for dinner. Cort McGraw had slow-roasted a pig and a quarter of beef Jessie had gladly supplied, cooking the meat at his place. He and Tate Morgan would arrive any minute with the meat. Jessie had made salads and side dishes when Chase wasn’t looking and hid them over at Lucas and Lori’s house and in the refrigerator in the bunkhouse.

  She rinsed off the melon then sliced it in half and began cutting chunks into a big glass bowl. Still uncertain of Chase’s reaction to the surprise, she wondered if he was just pretending to be excited by the party or if he was actually enjoying himself. Lost in her musings if she’d done a good or bad thing, she didn’t hear anyone enter the kitchen. A warm hand settled on her shoulder, making her jump.

  “You’re such a sneak, Jessie. I had no idea about the party,” Chase said, his breath warm and minty as it blew across her ear.

  Involuntarily, she shivered and glanced at him over her shoulder. His hazel eyes glowed with an inner fire and a smile brought out the little brackets on the left side of his mouth that she loved to see.

  “Are you really surprised?” she asked, setting down the knife in her hand and rinsing her hands before turning around to face him.

  “Completely and totally surprised. Thank you for doing this for me.” He wrapped her in a hug, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “I know this had to be a huge amount of work for you and I appreciate it so much.”

  “You’re welcome.” She hugged him back, pressing close against him.

  His easy hold tightened and she felt his muscles harden as his hands slid down her back and he pulled away just enough he could see her eyes. “You’re looking rather fetching today, Mrs. Jarrett.”

  Jessie glanced down at the long gauzy skirt, boots, and sleeveless denim top she wore. “It’s nothing special.”

  “You make it look special, Jess. Thank you, for everything.” Chase traced his thumb across her cheek before tossing the hat he still wore on the counter and lowering his head to hers.

  Their lips met in a fiery blending of give and take, of urgency and unhurried indulgence. With each kiss, Chase inched closer until Jessie lost the will and the ability to stand on her own.

  Just when she thought she might explode from the emotions he stirred in her, for the yearnings that continued unabated, a clearing throat brought reality crashing around them.

  Chase lifted his head and glared at the person in the doorway.

  “Sorry you two, but everyone is looking for the birthday boy,” Lucas said, not looking the least bit sorry for interrupting them. He gave Chase a teasing smile. “I can tell them you’re too busy seducing your wife over watermelon, but Jessie tends to frown on that sort of thing.”

  Face flushed from their kisses and embarrassment, Jessie nervously poked at a few loose hairpins in the upswept hairstyle she’d created that morning. She spun around and continued slicing watermelon.

  Chase stole a piece from the bowl, kissed her cheek, and returned to his guests.

  Lucas remained in the doorway watching Jessie work for a few moments then rolled back down the hall mumbling about hardheaded people being too dense to see the forest for the trees.

  Jessie had no idea what he meant, but she only half listened as it was. She wished Chase wouldn’t tease her, torment her, like that. Her heart could handle only so much of his feigned affections.

  The more he was home, the easier it was to pretend they belonged together and she’d never have to leave the Double J. Even when she knew the truth, she didn’t want to face it. With a lift of her chin, she set aside her worries and shifted into the role of gracious hostess.

  Hours later, as everyone sat outside enjoying the evening breeze and eating warm cherry cobbler covered in ice cream or slices of chocolate birthday cake, Jessie carried another tray of dirty dishes into the kitchen.

  She toed open the mudroom door and walked into the kitchen to find a woman she’d met briefly that afternoon wrapped around Chase, trying to press her lips to his. Jealousy raged through her along with a rush of anger. Before she could say or do anything, Chase pushed the woman away and moved so the kitchen island provided a barricade against the woman.

  Jessie calmly set the tray of dishes down on the island’s counter then gave the woman a smile. “I believe Garrett, your boyfriend, was looking for you. He mentioned being ready to leave. You might like to look for him outside.”

  “Thanks, hon. I was just getting your husband warmed up for you. If I was married to this hottie, I sure wouldn’t leave him alone like you do. Any woman with a brain in her head would keep him glued to her side. If you end up losing him, it’s nobody’s fault but your own.” The woman offered Chase a long look that made Jessie want to scratch her little brown eyes right out of her head. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Chasey.”

  “Don’t count on it, Donna. You better go find Garrett before he comes looking for you.” Chase pointed to the door.

  Once Donna left, Jessie moved the tray of glasses from the island over to the sink and began loading them into the dishwasher.

  Chase moved behind her and settled a hand on her back, but she edged away from him. “Jessie, I…”

  “We better get back to the guests. They’ll be ready to leave soon and looking for you.” She kept her tone even and her spine straight although everything in her wanted to drop the g
lasses on the floor and throw a temper fit the likes of which Chase Jarrett had never seen.

  “But, Jess, I didn’t… she caught me when… it wasn’t…” He touched her arm and she again edged away from him.

  “Go outside to your friends, Chase.” Jessie turned and walked out the door with Chase right behind her.

  For the next hour, Jessie moved through the crowd, offering cups of hot coffee to those who lingered or walking those who were leaving to the edge of the yard.

  Once everyone had left or gone to bed, Jessie carried a final tray of dirty dishes into the kitchen and took her time loading them in the dishwasher. Chase had tried to help, but she’d sent him on his way, telling him she didn’t mind doing it alone.

  She didn’t want him to see the way her hands trembled as she worked or how her breath came in tight, painful gasps. Livid beyond words, beyond anything she’d ever experienced, it had required every measure of patience and manners she possessed not to take a swing at Donna. As the woman and her boyfriend left shortly after Chase and Jessie returned outside, the tactless woman gave Chase a hug that was far too intimate and lasted way too long.

  To Chase’s credit, he’d not even returned Donna’s hug, holding his hands out at his sides, but it did little to turn Jessie’s boiling anger down to a simmer.

  In fact, as she thought more about that woman, about countless women just like her, Jessie grew more and more upset. She wanted to throw something, break something, or hit something.

  Right now, something wavered between that woman’s face and Chase’s. While Jessie knew he hadn’t done anything wrong, it didn’t make the situation any easier. At least not at that moment.

  With nothing else to do but go to bed, she finally walked down the hall to Chase’s room. If it wasn’t for several of his friends staying one more night, she could have returned to her room, but that wasn’t to be. Even the option of sleeping on a couch was off the table since extra guests occupied them all.

  She quietly opened the door and noticed Chase propped up in bed reading. He wore those sexy glasses and his hair, which he still hadn’t cut, looked tousled and entirely too enticing.

  He started to set aside his book, as though he wanted to talk, so she hurried into the bathroom and closed the door. Perhaps if she hid in there long enough he’d be asleep by the time she came out.

  Unfortunately, he appeared wide-awake when she returned to the room and slipped onto the side of the bed she considered hers. Foolhardy as it was to think of anything connected to Chase as hers, especially the man, she couldn’t quite stop herself.

  “Jessie, about earlier, about Donna, I just wanna…”

  Her face and voice remained impassive as she interrupted him, although she couldn’t mask the pain in her eyes. “I know you didn’t do anything, Chase. Good night.” Rolling onto her side, she effectively ended the conversation.

  She heard Chase sigh then felt the mattress shift as he set aside the book and his glasses, and turned off the bedside lamp. Once he settled on his side, she allowed the death grip she had on the sheet to relax and listened to his breathing even out as he fell asleep.

  The following afternoon, Jessie was still mad. She couldn’t even pinpoint what, or who, had her so riled. A combination of any number of things contributed to her feelings. Donna throwing herself at Chase had been more like the last straw than a single incident that pushed her over the edge.

  As soon as the last of their company left, Jessie had thrown herself into washing the mounds of bedding, cleaning the house, and then baked an apple pie to go along with the fried chicken she planned to serve for dinner.

  She’d just taken a pan of chunky chocolate chip cookies from the oven to cool when the kitchen door opened and Chase strolled inside. His hair bore a ring from his hat and his jeans looked like he’d wrestled a calf with a bad case of scours, but he still took her breath away.

  And that made her even angrier.

  “Those cookies smell great,” Chase said, washing his hands at the sink then noticing the irritated look she hadn’t managed to hide from him.

  “Would you like a glass of milk?” she asked, turning away from him and pouring a glass full before he could answer.

  She set it on the counter and went back to dropping more cookie dough on a baking sheet.

  “Don’t you get tired of being nice all the time?” Chase picked up one of the cookies, still warm from the oven and took a bite. “I mean, you never scream or yell or tell people off. When someone is nasty to you, you don’t respond in kind.” He finished the cookie and lifted another, holding it out toward Jessie. She shook her head so he took a big bite. “Don’t you ever want to bake a batch of Ex-Lax cookies for someone who’s been particularly nasty to you?”

  Jessie crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the counter. “What makes you think those cookies aren’t?”

  Chase stopped chewing the bite in his mouth and glared at the cookie then at her. When she smirked, he smiled and swallowed. “I’m serious, Jess. Don’t you ever get mad? Want to hit something or someone? How can you be so nice all the time?”

  “I’m not nice all the time. Sometimes I’d like to give someone a piece of my mind, but I can’t do it. I’d be overridden with guilt, although you might be astonished to know the thoughts I’ve had toward Donna and you in the last twenty-four hours.” She shrugged and turned her attention to washing the dishes she’d dirtied making cookies. “What’s so wrong with trying to be kind to people? Maybe I’m stupid or naïve, but I try to be nice to people in hopes they’ll be nice to others. I just want life to be fair, for people to be good and honest, and kind.”

  “But, Jess…”

  She glanced at him over her shoulder with tears glistening in her eyes. “You don’t have to tell me I’m an idiot or need to remove my rosy-colored glasses, Chase. I get it. I’m doomed to face disappointment over and over again because life isn’t fair, but I know that. I also know people often aren’t kind or good or honest. People can be horrible and cruel. They treat nice people like garbage. I’ve experienced that firsthand more times than I can count.” She sighed. “You probably think I’m a silly little dork who believes in fairytales and Santa Claus, but I can’t change who I am. I’m just wired that way.”

  “Jess,” Chase said in a husky tone as he stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back against his solid chest. He kissed her temple and sighed. “I kind of like the way you’re wired. I don’t want you to change, darlin’. Not at all. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  The statement hit her like a blow. He was the one who owned the most power to wound her because of how much she loved him. Yet, he remained oblivious to the fact. And his ignorance in regard to her feelings cut her so deeply, she wasn’t sure she’d ever recover from it.

  “I’ve been hurt, in one form or another, my whole life. It wasn’t easy growing up with parents who didn’t care about me. I used to wonder what their reactions would be if I died some tragic death on my way home from school. My gut told me as long as my brother was fine, they wouldn’t really grieve.” Jessie moved away from him and removed the last pan of cookies from the oven. “People have been awful to me, mean and harsh. They’ve broken promises, broken my trust, forsaken me, and shown no respect. But I learned a long time ago there’s one who is with me always. And that is why I try to be nice. Maybe by facing their cruelty with kindness, they’ll see a little light of something flickering in my life that can help them out of the darkness that has made them that way.”

  Jessie finished setting the cookies on a rack to cool and placed the pan in the sink. When she turned back to Chase, he stared at her, as though he waited for her to continue.

  “Just because I don’t yell or say nasty things, doesn’t mean I don’t imagine how good it would feel to pop someone in the nose or tell them what I really think of them and their bitter attitude. The quieter I am about something, the harder I’m working to find a way to offer a
kind reply.”

  “I had no idea, Jessie. I just assumed… I thought…” Chase snapped his mouth closed and ran a hand through his hair. How many times had he assumed she was just a pushover? Too shy to speak up for herself. How many times had he inadvertently hurt her? The thought of causing her pain made his stomach clench in a knot. “I’m sorry. I know I can act like a jerk sometimes and I’m super sorry about what happened yesterday. I just came in to refill the tea pitcher and she followed me.”

  Jessie eyed him as she finished cleaning up from her baking and picked up one of the still warm cookies, breaking it in half. “Since I’d still like to blacken both of her beady, makeup-caked eyes, how about you never, ever mention Donna?”

  Chase chuckled and wrapped his arms around her again. “Deal.” He accepted the piece of cookie she held out to him. “I really did enjoy the party. Thank you for making it happen and for putting up with me all year.”

  She nodded her head as she took a bite of cookie. “You only have to make it through a few more months then I’ll be out of your hair.”

  “About that.” An odd light glimmered in his eyes as he spoke. “You know, it might be best if you stayed on a while longer. To gradually ease into the idea that we’re breaking up. I’d really like it if you spent Christmas here again this year.”

  Caught off guard by his suggestion, she gave him a blank stare.

  “You enjoyed it last year, right? And I did, too.” He summoned his most charming smile. “Just think about it. We’ve got plenty of time before anything permanent has to be decided.” Sensing her need to be alone with her thoughts, he kissed her forehead then left the kitchen, hoping like everything she’d agree to stay.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “What are you doing up?” Chase asked, groggily rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he walked into the sitting area of the suite they occupied in Las Vegas.