“Mom, you can’t be serious.”
“Didn’t you say you want to make peace?”
“Yes, but I don’t think he’d ever accept.”
“You won’t know until you ask, will you?”
“Why are you willing to get involved? Logan knows you disapproved of us being together.”
“Time has passed. He’s a grown man. You’re a grown woman. I don’t regret the choice we helped you make. Not only do you have your Ph.D. and the satisfaction of knowing you helped your sister through school, but your older brother and sister look up to you.”
Yes, she had accomplished what her parents wanted. She was happy—wasn’t she?
Then why did you return to Sagebrush? a little voice in her head asked.
To make peace with Logan? Is that why fate had brought him to her?
“I’ll think about your suggestion, Mom, but don’t get your hopes up.”
“My hopes are always up,” her mom reminded her with a grin.
Gina couldn’t help but laugh as she stood, rounded the corner of the table, and hugged her mother. She was glad she’d come home.
Logan entered the kitchen on Monday evening from the garage, eager to see his son. Gathering Daniel into his arms was always the best part of his day. Yet tonight, he knew Gina was with Daniel. Her car was already in the driveway.
Suddenly he heard his little boy’s cry. The sound of it made Logan shift his briefcase to the counter. He took off for the family room.
As he rushed into it, he found Gina holding Daniel, murmuring to him. But Daniel was crying and shaking his head and Logan couldn’t tell if he was hurt or not.
Still, he tried to keep his voice calm as he took Daniel from Gina’s arms. “Did he fall?”
“No,” she answered without a reasonable explanation.
He leaned away from his crying toddler. “Are you okay? Did you get a bump or—”
“He didn’t hurt himself,” she said quietly.
Daniel was hiccupping, his cries softer now that he was in his dad’s arms.
“Where’s Hannah?”
“She said she had a batch of laundry to take out of the dryer.”
Worried, Logan carried his son to the sofa and sat with him on his knee. “So why is he crying?”
In watching Gina with Daniel, he knew she was careful. He knew she didn’t put his son in danger. Yet he hadn’t been here to protect Daniel so anything could have happened. So much for returning that last call. Daniel was always his main priority. Just because his son was with Gina was no reason to let down his guard.
Snatching one of the small plastic animals from the floor, he handed it to Daniel. His son’s cries subsided as he became interested in the toy.
Gina was studying them both as she explained, “He stood up by the chair. I wouldn’t just hand over his toy, so he got stubborn, sat down and started crying. Mrs. Mahoney said he didn’t have his nap today. He could just be tired, or…he could finally be realizing we’re not going to give him everything he wants just because he hollers for it.”
When Logan looked into Gina’s eyes, his heart practically turned over in his chest. Damn, but she had the most beautiful brown eyes he’d ever seen. They were the color of brandy and had always melted him.
“Have you been here long?”
“About half an hour.”
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“That’s no problem, Logan. Sometimes it’s better if you aren’t watching.”
“Excuse me?”
Her cheeks reddened a little. “I just mean Daniel responds differently when you’re here than when you’re not.”
“How’s he different?”
“He expects you to protect him, to make sure his world is right-side-up.”
“That’s a dad’s job.”
“Most of the time it is. But he’s getting to the age where he’s striking out, learning to do for himself. It’s a long process. He needs the confidence to know he can.”
“You’re saying I’m still treating him like that preemie in the incubator who needed my every prayer to live.”
With an understanding smile, Gina came over to the sofa and sank down beside him. “Your concern and worry for Daniel are normal. You almost lost him. But he’s healthy and happy, and just trying to catch up to where he belongs.” She held her hands out to the baby to see if he’d come to her.
Daniel looked up at his dad, then back at Gina. With a grin, he plopped down on his dad’s legs and squiggled over to her.
She lifted him into her arms, held him up and laughed. “You’re a charmer, but don’t think that smile is going to get you everything you want.”
Daniel smiled and babbled at her, and she laughed again.
Logan had noticed that Gina was different when she was with his son. She was the teenager he’d fallen in love with—lovely and sparkling and laughing. Since she’d reentered his life, he’d decided the tension between them had taken the sparkle from her eyes. Now he wasn’t so sure. Maybe something else had. Something that had changed the girl he used to know. His years with Amy had changed him. What had changed Gina?
He told himself he didn’t care, but a gnawing in his gut urged him to find out what had happened to her since they’d parted ways. Maybe she was struggling to let go of something in her past other than what had happened between the two of them.
He’d struggled to let go of Amy, but she was still there in Daniel’s smile, the laughter in his eyes and the color of his hair. But he’d had no choice—he’d had to let go of her to concentrate on Daniel, to enable him to live and thrive.
Maybe he could let go of Gina, too, and be free—free to focus on his son and the life they’d built—if they were more honest with each other.
When Gina settled Daniel on her lap, he yawned a big, wide, baby yawn that told them both he’d had enough for today.
Logan had, too. He gathered his son up once more and stood. “I’m going to put him down for the night.”
Gina looked uncomfortable, rubbed her hands on her jeans-clad knees and said, “I’ll collect my paraphernalia and be going.”
After he started for the doorway, he debated with himself. Turning back to her, he asked, “Would you like to go for a ride after I put him to bed? I don’t think Hannah would mind sitting with him for a while.”
Gina looked torn. “You need to clear the cobwebs from a long day?”
“I do. Silence isn’t always the best way to do that, and the horses won’t always make conversation with me.”
She smiled, and this time the sparkle was there, even though they weren’t talking about Daniel.
She pointed to her shoes. “I only have my sneakers.”
“You know there are always spare boots in the barn. I’m sure there will be a pair there that will fit.”
Her expression told him she did indeed remember the spare boots…and she remembered other things, too.
So did he.
He had the sudden urge to ask her to put Daniel to bed with him, but that was a bonding time with his son. He didn’t want Gina that involved with his life. He nodded to the flat-screen TV and the magazines on the coffee table.
“Make yourself at home.”
Although she nodded, she looked a bit lost. That was the way he felt now that he’d invited her for a ride. What did he really expect to come of it?
A half hour later, Gina walked beside Logan to the barn, well aware they’d taken this walk together before—almost fourteen years to the day. His silence told her he must have been conscious of it, too. Their romance had begun on a night like this—when the air was fragrant with damp grass, a three-quarter moon glowing in the twilight sky, begging their gazes to linger on it. His father had been away so often that summer they’d pretty much had the run of the place—swum in the pool, gone riding and made love in a vacant stall. She could still remember the scent of clean hay, the roughness of a wool blanket on her skin, Logan’s passionate kisses and tender touches.
> The scent of roses wafted to her on the breeze and she noticed the yellow roses alongside the barn were in full bloom.
Years ago the stable at the Barnes estate had been stone and wood. Now it had been modernized and weatherized and was relatively maintenance-free. The decades-old stone facing had been cleaned and preserved and the door Logan opened for her didn’t squeak as the old one had.
As they passed the tack room, Logan stayed a few strides ahead of her, out of touching distance. No chance of elbows grazing as their steps slowed in unison, no conversation. Turning to look around, she saw that only four of the stalls were occupied now.
Logan suddenly stopped and faced Gina. “I’m going to give you Aquarius to ride. She’s sure-footed and intuitive. Do you still remember how to saddle up?”
“That’s something a rider never forgets. I saddle my own horse at Francesca and Grady’s, and at Vince and Tessa’s.”
“Good. Then I don’t have to worry about the saddle sliding around to the side after you’re in the paddock.”
His suddenly lighter tone gave her hope. “When I love to do something, I become an expert at it.”
“That always was one of your qualities I admired.”
Immediately a conversation vividly played in her mind. It had taken place in this barn…in a vacant stall. They’d made love for the second time, a week after the first. Logan’s father had been home at the estate during that week. Gina’s parents had disapproved of her dating Logan and had kept her at home with chores and babysitting most days. But on Friday night, Logan’s dad had gone out of town and her parents hadn’t found another excuse to keep her at home. After all, she was eighteen.
Eighteen, in love and confused about what her future could be. Eighteen and uncertain about everything from her looks to her intelligence to her capabilities. Logan had lain beside her on the blanket in that stall, stroking the curls around her face. She’d been bolder with him that night, touching him more, reacting to every one of his caresses.
Holding her chin in his hand, he leaned forward and took another deep, wet kiss. She surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, returning each stroke of his tongue.
When he broke away, he laughed. “You catch on fast.”
They were still naked and she took advantage of that, running her hands down his chest, over his stomach…and lower. “You’re a wonderful teacher. When I’m really interested in a subject, I can become an expert in no time.”
“An expert, huh? In the art of loving me?”
She panicked when he’d asked her that. After all, her love for Logan was new and frightening—because it had the power to change her life. She’d already committed herself to a future her parents approved of, to helping her younger sister through college, then working in a field where she could make a difference.
Still, she couldn’t ignore her heart. “I’d like to become an expert in the art of loving you.”
She’d been living in the moment, wanting to feel Logan’s arms around her again, needing his approval, too. And she had loved him. She just hadn’t realized how much until it was too late.
Now she saw him looking at her and knew he was remembering that night, too. What could she say? “I meant it, but I was so young and naive”? “I didn’t know what love meant until your father warned me away from you”? “Until my heart broke when I left”? “Because I felt unworthy of you and unable to tell you what had happened”?
Logan stepped toward her, his hand raised as if to reach for her. But then he abruptly turned and unlocked Aquarius’s stall door.
Gina felt shaken, wanting to get close to Logan again at least in friendship—but not knowing how. She placed her hand on his arm. “Logan.”
He acted as if she wasn’t touching him. “She’ll read your slightest signal,” he said. “The easiest touch on the reins is all she needs.”
“Logan,” she repeated. “Maybe we should talk about—”
“I don’t want to talk, Gina. Not now. Let’s just saddle up and get out on the trail. That’s the only place I seem to find peace these days.”
She dropped her hand from his arm, not wanting to stir the cauldron of emotions that wouldn’t help either of them.
A few minutes later, they’d left the safety of the paddock and were headed along the marked trail by the white fence line. Thought and planning had gone into the trails that wound through the trees as if they were a natural route rather than a groomed one. The canopy of live oaks made their ride quiet and intimate, the last lingering light spilling through the leaves, dappling their path.
“Do you have time to ride as far as the lake?” he asked.
The Barnes property held a natural lake of its own. It was surrounded by cottonwoods and willows and was one of Gina’s favorite places, day or night.
She answered softly, “I have time.”
They rode side by side and Gina felt a companionship in that, as if they were gaining some footing, finding that common ground from so many years ago. But Logan must have been thinking of other things.
As they drew up to the cottonwoods on the shore of the lake, he said, “Amy and I didn’t come here much.”
Gina went still, then she asked conversationally, “Did your wife like to ride?”
“No, she didn’t. I mean, she would ride because I liked to. It was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon when she wasn’t showing properties. But she didn’t have a real yearning for it. It was a pastime, like golf.” He looked over his shoulder at Gina. “And I think she preferred golf.”
Their legs almost brushed as Gina drew up beside him. “Did you learn to prefer golf?” She’d seen her friends’ lives change with marriage and maybe Logan’s had, too.
“Actually, I hate golf. I’m not bad at it. I learned the game for business reasons as well as social ones after I met Amy. The idea of chasing a ball from hole to hole doesn’t hold much interest for me. I’d rather be on a horse, learning his nature, learning his habits, learning how we can communicate. Do you know what I mean?”
“You’re talking to a believer. I know exactly what you mean. I enjoyed skiing in New England. It’s challenging in its own way. But it’s not part of me like riding is, like horses are. Are you going to buy Daniel a pony?”
“Maybe. Do you think it’s a good idea?”
“Sure. Under the right supervision, horseback riding can teach children balance in a way not much else can. In fact, I’ve often thought about organizing a horseback riding camp for developmentally challenged children.” She shrugged, a bit embarrassed by sharing that with him. “It’s just one of my dreams.”
“Do you have a lot of them?”
She laughed. “An assortment. I’ve considered volunteering in Appalachia, too. The children and families there need so much help. I’ve also considered writing a book for parents, and I would love to tour Alaska someday.”
“You have a lot of dreams left.”
“Don’t you?” She hated to think his dreams had died with his wife.
“My dreams now are for Daniel. Will he want to become a world leader, an economist, a soccer player? Should I let him take piano lessons as well as try out for a football team? How soon should he learn Spanish, climb a tree, have a pet other than a horse? Small dreams and big ones.”
“You still need your own dreams, too.”
“No,” he said quickly. “Not anymore. Raising a child and running a business can keep a man busy for a lifetime.”
She could hear what he wasn’t saying. That his dreams had gotten crushed and he wasn’t going to invest in them again.
“Do you believe in fate?” she asked.
“Fate or coincidence?” he asked with a sideways glance.
“I think fate brought Daniel’s chart to my desk.”
“Or coincidence.”
“Maybe I was meant to work with Daniel so that I could make up for the hurt I caused you.”
He brought his horse closer to hers so the an
imals’ noses were almost touching. He leaned forward and looked into her eyes. His were shaded by the brim of his Stetson and she couldn’t see them clearly.
But she definitely heard the vehemence in his voice. “The past can’t be fixed. You can just try to move it aside and go on. After you left, I got over it. Amy died, and I’m trying to get over that. Fate has nothing to do with Daniel’s chart landing on your desk. This really is a small world, Gina,” he returned. “You know Tessa. She’s Daniel’s pediatrician. We all link together, one way or another.”
He made the coincidence sound so reasonable. But she felt she’d come back here, not only to be with her family, but to mend fences with Logan. Fate had made that a little easier.
That was what she believed but she also knew she was the one who had to choose the next step. She wasn’t sure what that step was going to be.
“Enough of the lake?” Logan asked.
She could never get enough of the lake—or enough of him. But his the-past-can’t-be-fixed attitude proved that he didn’t forget or forgive easily.
And she didn’t know how she was going to change that.
Chapter Five
Gina glanced at the sky with its thousand tiny twinkles of light, the moon softly brilliant and illuminating their return path. This could be a romantic ride if only—
If only what? As far as she could tell, Logan didn’t even want to be friends. Why would he? Telling him what had happened to her wouldn’t change the fact that he’d felt deserted by her.
When they reached the paddock, Logan dismounted to unhitch the gate. In jeans, boots, snap-button shirt and a Stetson, he was every inch a Texan, every inch a strong, compelling, virile man. He had more confidence now than he’d had at twenty-two. He was quieter and more introspective, but then so was she.
He walked and she rode until they reached the exterior doors to the barn. There she stopped Aquarius, intending to dismount.
But distracted by memories of the past and the tension of the present, she caught her foot in the stirrup and almost landed on the ground.
Logan was quick and caught her around the waist, holding her snugly until she pulled her boot free. She felt tossed back into a time when being in his arms like this had been right. Now she felt awkward and embarrassed, afraid to face him and see nothing in his expression. But she had to do it.
The Texas Billionaire's Baby Page 6
