by Bellus, HJ
“I’m going to grab coffee.” Ivy steps back. “You guys want one?”
“Yes.” We both reply in unison.
The line moves faster than I expected. There’s no need for conversation as Grace carries it all on her own.
“Unkies!” Grace squeals wiggles her hand free from Roan’s and darts toward Jake and Brad.
They catch her tossing her up in the air making her giggles ring out around the chilled air. I tug my slouchy beanie down on my head and find myself smiling.
“Here.” Ivy hands me an extra large coffee. “It’s your favorite.”
“Um.” I hitch a thumb over to Roan. “He wanted one too.”
Ivy winks. “That’s why I bought the extra large.”
Roan pays for the ride before I have a chance to protest. It’s a bitter pill, but I don’t protest, and accept the kind gesture.
“Thank you.”
“Alright then.” Ivy slaps my ass. “Jake, Brad, and I will be right behind you three.”
Jake passes Grace to me with a tentative smile on his face. It’s an olive branch. He’s giving me this without judging me or beating the shit out of Roan like he’d really want to. His jaw clenches and I know it’s not easy on him.
“Thank you.” I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.
Roan takes Grace from me while I climb up into the large sled. I take her when he leaps up making it look so damn easy. Grace snuggles between us doing her best to sing Christmas tunes. Roan and I pass back and forth our favorite coffee.
When his lingering taste on the plastic lid of the coffee cup isn’t enough we begin sharing chaste kisses.
Chapter 6
“Get out of here.” Mom pushes me toward the door.
Another loud rap echoes around the lodge. Roan is on the other side waiting to take me to dinner and drinks at The Cove, his brother’s bar.
My only one reprieve is that Brad went out with friends earlier and Jake and Ivy went to finish up last minute Christmas shopping. I guess that’s what kids are calling it these days.
Grace went down early. The excitement from yesterday’s action at Santa’s workshop and a day full of baking, wrapping presents, and being herself has the poor girl exhausted.
“Yeah, get out of here.” Dad walks up behind Mom tapping her on the ass and then pulling her into his side. “Our alone time is well overdue.”
Okay, that does the trick sending me running right into Roan’s open arms. I open the door and make no small talk before escaping right out into the freezing weather and smiling up at Roan.
“Hi.” He takes a step back clutching the black beanie on top of his head. “Everything okay?”
I open my mouth to answer, but damn he looks good and I take a second to take him all in from his boots right up to his button up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A black t-shirt peeks through since his shirt is half buttoned. And don’t get me started on his worn jeans that I want my hands on.
“You don’t want to know. Trust me.” I shake my head. “I need bleach for my ears. Do they make such a thing?”
“Your dad loving on your mom?”
I nod.
“It’s sweet.” He opens the driver’s side door of his old truck and waves me in.
I slide up onto the bench seat like it was yesterday. “No. It’s not. It’s my parents.”
Roan jumps in firing up the engine. “The flip side is having two parents who hate each other and throw more glasses at each other than share kisses.”
“You got me there.” I go to slide over to the passenger seat realizing I don’t belong in the middle snuggled up right next to him anymore.
Roan’s large palm comes down on my thigh tugging me right back over to him.
“Please.”
I don’t say a word and answer by cozying up to him.
“Figured you might be tired of the diner on Main Street, so I took over Cody’s cabin for the night.”
“Yeah?” I look up to him as he drives. The stubble on his jaw taunts me until I find myself running my fingers along it.
I remain that way the entire drive and don’t even realize we are here until Roan kills the engine. He glances down at me. I’ve tried for days now to bottle up the feelings for him. Cage them and make them disappear. The hurt and pain inflicted so long ago has melted away like the snowflakes in Spring.
It’s no longer wondering if my heart will heal once it’s shattered again. It’s now, when will it happen? Because it’s going to. He makes me feel too damn good, alive, and loved. It’s the most intoxicating emotion there is. I want to swim, bathe, and drown in it and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
“The steaks are going to get cold,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Then kiss me already.”
I move first parting my lips and licking them. Roan presses his to mine. The kiss is searing hot heating up the cab of the truck. Our tongues glide and dance with one another until I’m aching for more. His lips aren’t enough. I need more.
I straddle his lap. The steering wheel biting into my back. I’m only able to focus on the fiery passion sparking between us. Roan’s large hands glide up the inside of my sweater dress until the hem is hitched up around the globes of my ass. His palms sear down the top of my thighs.
It’s all too much. I begin moving against him in hopes of releasing some tension built up between our bodies. I startle when a horn blares knocking my forehead against Roan’s.
“Shit,” he groans.
“Ouch!” I slam my hand over my pounding heart.
When we realize who honked the horn we both erupt into laughter.
“Let’s take this inside, Poppy.” Roan brushes my hair back from my face.
He gets my dress back in place and guides me up to the front door. The place hasn’t changed a bit. Pop’s same furniture and artwork fills the place. I choke up a bit when I see his worn cowboy boots next to the door. He left his legacy behind and it’s heartwarming. He was a good one.
Roan pulls out a seat for me making me focus back on the reason why we are here. There’s a full spread on the dinner table I never noticed. Green salad, twice baked potatoes, green beans, and large juicy steaks.
“This looks amazing,” I whisper.
“Haven’t cooked like this for years, so you better taste it first.”
I stab my fork into the green beans and moan when it hits my palette. Butter, bacon, and green beans the only way to eat them.
“I’ll take your moan as a compliment.” He winks at me stirring up that desire that has since cooled from our heated moment in the truck.
“So good.” I begin dishing out dinner not worried about being ladylike at all. That’s what a full day of baking sugary sweets will do to you.
“Medium rare? Is that how you still take your steak?”
I nod. “Yes, please.”
We don’t worry about conversation as we devour our food. When I can’t take another bite my fork clatters to my plate.
“This place makes me feel like a teenager all over again,” I admit my cheeks heating remember the time we were busted out back by the well house well into a heated make-out session.
The delight in Roan’s smile lets me know he’s remembering the same thing. “I’ve always considered this place my real home. Well here and your childhood home that is.”
“I know.” I reach over and squeeze his hand.
“The multi-million dollar mansions I’ve bought over the years were stale and lacking charm. I hate the shit out of them.”
“Then why, Roan?” The legs of my chair screech as I scoot closer to him.
“Wanted to prove my parents wrong. It blinded me,” Roan pauses, grabbing me by the hips and hoisting me in his lap. “You know I was going to stay here with Grey, but it would’ve been everything I’ve done my whole life. Hide from the real fears and allow them to continue to be my biggest demons. I’m burning those bastards out by staying in that ice palace.”
&
nbsp; “I’m proud of you.” I trail a line of kisses along his jawline. “I also think you need to quit beating yourself up. We both have hurt over the years, but the fact is we are different people now. We need to let go of the past.”
Roan clears his throat. “How do you do that?”
“What?” I twist in his lap until I’m straddling him.
“Forgive so easily.” He drops his forehead to mine.
“It’s easy when life tosses you an unexpected gift that brings you back to life.”
“Poppy.” His fingers dig into my hips.
“I never stopped loving you,” I whisper. “And I also never thought I’d be brave enough to admit that out loud.”
Our lips crash and collide. It takes us seconds before we are right where we left off in the truck. Lips trail down the sensitive part of my neck to my collar bone and then up to the other side. I’m a melting mess needing so much more.
“I need you, Roan.” I glide my hands through his messy hair that was hidden underneath a beanie earlier. “Please.”
Roan growls against my skin clutching my ass and pulling me into him. I can only handle so much and that so much has just snapped. I bring my hands down between us fumbling with the belt on his jeans then the button and finally the zipper. He bucks up into my touch growling while he does.
“Bedroom. Hold on, baby.” Roan stands and the moment he does, his phone pierces the silence and our pants.
“Your phone,” I stupidly sputter out.
“Whoever it is can screw off.” Roan walks into a dark room laying me down on the bed.
He reaches behind his neck tugging his shirt off. The ringing doesn’t stop. I perch up on my elbows hating what I’m going to say next.
“Answer it. Someone clearly wants to talk to you.”
Roan drops his head in defeat adjusting the crotch of his jeans before he walks out of the room. I snag his shirt off the floor and follow him.
“It’s Grey and the fool better be bleeding out or close to it,” he mumbles while answering the phone.
“What?” he snarls.
I can’t help but laugh at his annoyance. I feel the same exact way. Roan throws out an arm tugging me to him. I fold my arms around his torso leaning my cheek on his bare chest. Home. It’s the only thought that comes to me.
“Are you serious, Grey?”
More silence.
“You own a bar and you need me to get you lemons and green olives?”
This time I hear Grey on the other end. “It’s the busiest week of the year and I ain’t about to quit slinging drinks and not going to serve shit ones.”
“Send a worker,” Roan barks back.
I pat his chest and take the phone away from him. “Grey, this is Poppy. We will be there in a few minutes.”
“Poppy?” I can hear the question in his voice over the roar of the background noise.
“Yes.”
“That’s why my brother is pissed. I’m guessing I just interrupted bang bang good times.”
“Bye, Grey. Will be there in a few.” I end the call.
Roan squeezes me to him tight. “Want to know something ironic?”
“Yeah.”
“I use to dream about this shit when I was on the road, at some awards show, or drowning in misery at some fancy party. I craved for simple things like this. Grey needing help and me being able to help.”
“And now?” I ask, glancing up at him.
“Don’t think there’s a word to answer that question, baby.”
I do my best to keep my hands mostly to myself on the drive to the grocery store. We walk in hand in hand.
“Roan?”
“Yeah,” he answers mindlessly scanning the shelves for green olives.
“How come people here haven’t been fangirling all over you?”
He freezes and looks down at me. “Fangirling?”
“Yeah, fangirling.”
“I didn’t know that was really a word people actually used.”
“Answer me.” I poke his side.
He shrugs. “There’s been a few that have asked for autographs and pictures, but yeah for the most part it’s been pretty damn peaceful.”
“Don’t you find that weird?”
“Well, it wasn’t what I was expecting and have no answers for it.”
I beam a wide smile and shrug. “It’s a Christmas miracle.”
“The stars are lined up shining down on us,” he replies.
“The hands of time have finally blessed us.” He grins grabbing a jar of olives.
“You can’t stop love.”
Roan slaps my ass. “And I’m out of cheesy ass romantic lines.”
We decide to walk down to the bar hand in hand. Roan slams down the grocery bags on the bar.
“You owe me thirty dollars, brother.”
“Drinks are on me.” Grey grabs the bags.
“And you still owe me thirty dollars.”
Grey has two signature cocktails in front of us. We sneak to the corner of the bar grabbing the two remaining bar stools.
“These are quite the cheery festive drinks.” I smack my lips together relishing in the minty pomegranate taste.
“Not bad.” He shrugs grabbing my leg and dipping his nose in the crook of my neck. “I could think of something else that would taste better.”
I groan and want to get the hell out of here right now. “One drink and then we are going right back to Grey’s and picking up where we left off.”
“Deal.” Roan tilts his tumbler back draining all of the bright red liquid.
“Roan. Roan McDaniels is that you?”
We both turn to see a friend from the past, Jack Hartley.
“And holy shit Poppy Hughes, it’s been forever.” He holds his arms out wide going in for a hug.
I hear Roan grumble. “So much for not being spotted.”
Jack extends his hand to Roan as I whisper, “We jinxed the shit out of ourselves.”
The night continues on much like this with old friends huddling around us. As much as I can’t wait to devour and be devoured by Roan I find myself enjoying old times and memories.
Maxton Kenrick joins us when Brad, Jake, and Ivy appear. I’m pleasantly pleased when my brothers join the conversation and laugh along with us. I’m even more impressed when Jake buys Roan a beer and starts up a conversation about football.
“Brother.” Grey slaps down a bar towel from his side of the bar. “Have had some requests for you to sing. You up to it?”
Everyone around us seems to answer for him with pats on the back and rounds of hell yes. Roan shakes his head.
“Do it.” I squeeze his hand. “I want to hear you.”
With reluctance, Roan stands to go to the makeshift stage, but not before placing a soul-searing kiss on my lips. They burn for several minutes even when I place my fingers over them. Roan picks up the guitar leaning against the piano slinging it over his neck. I’m not the only one that groans in delight when he adjusts the black beanie on his head.
“Well, wasn’t expecting this tonight.” He clears his throat. “It’s an honor to sing in my brother’s bar.”
“Get on with it, you hunk of burning love.” Grey shouts through cupped hands.
This gains a round of laughter and applause. Once it quiets back down, Roan finds me in the crowd and doesn’t break eye contact.
“Wrote this one years ago. It was my first ever number one hit. I’ve been asked hundreds of times if there was a name to the girl behind the words of this song. I’d answer the same every single time with a yes and that’s it. But it’s time for the world to know this song has and will always be about Poppy Hughes and how damn much I love her.”
I clench my fresh drink in my hands as tears well up but never fall. Happy tears of joy blur my vision as Roan’s rich voice booms throughout the silent bar. Words of forever and endless, that was a first for a boy and a girl. I’ve heard this song a hundred times on the radio or repeat on my phone when I couldn�
��t sleep at night, but right now it’s like the first time.
“It was always you.” When the final line comes out in a tender, growly whisper those happy tears fall over.
The bar erupts in a standing ovation. Roan doesn’t bow or take the applause he points at me. I knew this was going to happen the first time I saw him. Our love is that powerful and I’m that weak to it. I just had no idea how damn good it would feel. Even if it’s just the week of Christmas I’ll take it and cherish it forever.
“More!” The crowd encourages Roan.
He brings his lips to the microphone. “Only one way I’m gonna keep my ass up here singing and that’s if my girl, Poppy, gets up here.”
“No.” I shake my head. “No way.”
I wave a finger at him telling him so. Then I find myself being drug up there by my brothers digging my heels in the whole time. I have no chance in hell of running back to my seat when I’m hoisted up on the stage. The cheers from the bar are deafening and my nerves shoot straight through the roof.
I go to dart off the side, but am captured by the hips and dragged right in front of the microphone with Roan’s chest pressing into my back. He leans forward speaking into the microphone.
“Since it’s the season let’s sing some songs.”
Roan leans back and sings the beginning words to I’ll Be Home For Christmas. I remain frozen in Roan’s arms, but when his breathe tickles the sensitive skin on my neck, it jolts something to life inside of me. I join him singing each word. I gain more confidence as the song continues.
Roan kisses my neck and steps away. Then the piano joins me. I glance back for a brief second to see Roan at the piano with his eyes closed letting his fingers run over the ivory. He plays song after song giving me the stage front and center. We sing forever, falling in love all over again.
The jukebox fires up when we step from the stage. There’s fresh drinks and great friends. We fall into old times being ourselves and it feels damn good. After I yawn for the tenth time Roan picks up on the fact I’m exhausted.
“Ready to head out?” he whispers in my ear.
