by Bellus, HJ
I nod watching Ivy and Jake take the stage. When their first screeching note is out Roan and I both bolt for the door. The chilled winter air tingles my skin forcing me out of the cozy state I was in.
“Need a ride?” We both turn to see Brad swinging his keys around his pointer finger. “Only had one beer tonight.”
“Thanks, Brad.”
“Let’s go.”
Brad drives while I’m curled up in Roan’s arms. Brad is out of his truck not asking any questions as he trots up the sidewalk and disappears into the B & B. I don’t want the night to end. I don’t know what the right answer is. The one thing I do know is I want Roan as long as I can.
“Come in?”
“It’s nearly one in the morning,” Roan mumbles against my lips.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Poppy.”
“Please I want you to stay the night.”
He nods.
And like teenagers we creep up to my bedroom trying not to be caught. It makes me giggle because we are grown ass adults. The harder I try not to laugh, causes me to laugh harder. I erupt in giggles when Roan throws me over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. I slap his ass while kicking my legs.
I’m tossed back on the bed with my limbs going wild. I glance around to make sure Grace isn’t curled up on the couch or her extra toddler bed. When I don’t spot her I panic a second holding up a finger.
“Just a second.”
I race out of the room sneaking down the hall, quietly this time and peek in her room. I see her wild hair splayed out and her thumb nestled between her lips. Her little mouth sucks away.
After gentle kisses on her cheek and forehead, I sneak back to my room to find Roan sitting on the edge of the bed bent over unlacing his boots.
“Where were we?” I whisper, then leap onto the bed in the same position I was before.
“She okay?” he asks, running a finger down my chin then lower down my chest until he stops at my belly button.
“Yes.” I roll my head to face him. “She’s out.”
My bed swallows me whole. I feel my own eyelids growing heavy. I feel Roan moving around stripping out of his clothes and I can’t help but let my eyelids flutter shut.
“Poppy.”
“Uh?” I answer unable to open my eyes.
Roan’s deep chuckle rings around me. His hand wraps around my calf slipping off my boots. I raise my hands when he slips my dress up and off. Then a soft t-shirt that smells like him replaces it. I’m in his arms and then between my sheets.
The bed dips next to me. I’m wrapped in his arms and smiling.
“Kiss me,” I mumble out.
I press my lips to his, but sleep wins out.
Chapter 7
“Shit. That’s bright.” I cover my eyes when I open them.
The sun is wide awake and shining right in my room. Holy hell, what time is it? I glance over at my phone to see it’s well past nine in the morning. I can’t remember the last time I slept in this long. It was long before Grace. Running the B & B is damn demanding.
Grace. I dart up out of bed taunted by Roan’s lingering scent. He’s nowhere in sight. I grab the first thing I see since I’m in a pair of pink lacey panties and a matching bra. Roan’s dress shirt it is. I fumble with the buttons getting most of them done up even if they’re not lined up.
I round the corner to come face-to-face with Ivy dressed in similar fashion in Jake’s shirt.
“You.” She points at me.
I slap a hand on my chest. “Me? You!”
She shakes her head side-to-side her eyes going wide knowing she’s busted and there will be no way to back out of this one.
“It’s not what it looks like,” she defends herself.
“Really?”
At that moment Jake walks in from the outside second story porch smelling like a damn skunk. His eyes are glazed over.
“Are you high?” I hiss.
Jake smiles wide. “Sex and pot life is damn good.”
Something has changed between the two of them. He doesn’t try to hide it as he wraps his arms low around her waist kissing up her neck.
“Mom will kick your ass.”
He shrugs.
Jake’s known to indulge every once and awhile. I’ll admit he’s funny as hell when he does. I’ve been jealous over the fact in the last few months knowing it would take the edge off, but can’t do it with Grace. It feels wrong. So if he wants to get high and live the life he wants while he can, who am I to judge?
“Yeah, it happened and it’s about damn time. I’m tired of hiding it because Ivy thinks it will hurt your friendship and if I have my way it’s about to happen again in about thirty seconds.”
I shake my head at his ridiculousness but deep down I’m thrilled for the two of them. Ivy opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.
“So, you’re telling me that you’re boinking my brother?” I take one step past her and pat her shoulder. “Congrats. Ew that’s so wrong. Just wrong I congratulated you on that. But I’m happy for you and don’t keep another secret from me because you’re shit at it.”
“Thank you.” She wraps me up in a hug before Jake tugs her back.
“Enjoy the last few brain cells he has.”
Jake flips me the bird and tugs her right back into his bedroom kicking the door with his foot. I race from their door as fast as I possibly can.
I hear Grace’s squeals before I see her. I stop at the entrance of her room leaning on the doorframe taking in the scene. Roan has the Woody from Toy Story’s hat on which is the size for a toddler. The string cuts into his skin under his chin. Grace has her favorite pair of pink glittery cowboy boots on bouncing a horse around a circle pen they’ve built on the floor. Roan’s horse in his hand chasing right behind her.
He glances up for a second catching me watching them. He grins wide. That smile turns into something different as his vision rakes down my body.
“Looks like your Momma wants to play.” Roan winks at me.
Grace whips her head around with her hair going wild in her face covering her eyes. She manages to leap up and brush it away only for it to fall back in.
“Mommy!” She races over to me hugging my legs.
She’s off in a heartbeat grabbing a yellow bow from the ribbon that holds all of them. She stops in front of Roan and hands it to him.
“Me. Pwincess. You do it.”
She doesn’t give Roan a chance to say no before she turns around and plops in his lap.
“Um.” He holds up the yellow bow twisting it in his fingers.
“This is all you, rockstar.” I wink and walk away.
I take the quickest shower known to mankind before jumping into some comfortable yoga pants and a hoodie. Everyone’s around the huge dining room table enjoying brunch. Everyone except Roan and Grace. I turn to dart back upstairs to check on them.
“They’re in the kitchen.” Brad answers around a mouthful of food.
I take a seat wanting to go to them. It’s a foreign feeling sitting down to eat, not worrying about Grace’s plate first. I have hash browns and bacon scooped out on my plate when the two make a presence. I choke on the sip of the screwdriver I just took when I see what Grace is wearing.
Roans buttoned up shirt drowning her. It’s buttoned the same way I had this morning. Jake bursts into laughter. Ivy’s howls joining him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure what and who she is copying. Grace is an expert in the game. She holds Roan’s hand as they make their way to the table. She climbs up in her chair while Roan takes a seat next to mine.
He leans over and whispers in my ear. “She insisted. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head and can’t help the laughter that escapes me. Mid-morning drifts into the afternoon with a blur of playtime, board games, badly timed jokes, and lots of laughter. Everything is prepped for Christmas Eve. I haven’t asked Roan what his plans are. I’ve just assumed he’ll be leaving after the holidays. I’m not sure if that�
��s Christmas Day or New Year’s Day. The thought alone makes me feel ill. I’m too big of a damn chicken to bring up the topic.
And as Roan is stretched out on the bear rug with Grace cuddled up to his side while they watch Frozen doubt creeps in as I’ve noticed he’s checked his phone more today than I’ve seen him do.
“Your turn, sis.”
I glance back up to Brad then to the table to the Farkle game in front of us and shake the doubt free.
Chapter 8
Roan
I’m a bastard. There’s no way around it. I hit send on my phone and tuck it back in my pocket. Grace’s heavy breathing lets me know she’s out. I’m not far behind her. This little shit can really wear a guy out.
I glance up to Poppy at the table playing games with her family to see her staring at me. I don’t miss the worry in her eyes. She changed today and I know the question dancing on the tip of her tongue. I don’t have an answer for her. What I saw this morning in the kitchen changed everything. It broke my heart and made me feel like a dick.
She’s broke. Dead ass broke. The B & B is on the verge of being owned by the bank. I have no doubt in my mind it’s not Poppy’s fault. Cringle Cove has changed. There’s a new crowd and bigger money involved all the while Poppy has been working her ass off.
It all makes sense now. The times she’s balked about her brothers, Ivy, or me paying for things. It’s a sensitive subject and I’m about to blow it right out of the water. My phone rings in my pocket again. I don’t have to look to know it’s Clyde. I never should’ve given the bastard a nibble from me. I’m just thankful I didn’t share too many details to my cutthroat agent. I don’t need him. I’ve got this.
“Hey.” Poppy looks down at us. “I’m going to take her upstairs.”
“Okay, I can’t feel my arm. I’d probably drop her.”
I follow Poppy up the stairs unable to keep my stare off her plump ass in those tight yoga pants. Motherhood has done damn amazing things to her body. She was perfect before, but now she’s a vision that deserves to be observed every day.
Part of me is still in shock that she let me back in. There wasn’t one day while I was living the high life she wasn’t on my mind. It wasn’t a lie that when I was with other women it was her I was thinking about and visioning in my mind. Every time I was ready to call her and ask her to join me the evil of the music reared its nasty head. She was too pure to bring into that and I was a bastard. There’s no way around it. Life is a funny damn never-ending circle.
I wait by the door to Grace’s room as Poppy lays her down. I hear her singing lightly to her baby girl even though she’s already out like a light. That voice deserves to be heard. That woman deserves whatever her heart desires. I’d give anything to be the man to do that if I don’t ruin everything before I get the chance to.
“Hey.” I reach out and grab her hand when she walks up to me.
We back up into her room and fall on the bed together. I debate ripping off the Band-Aid without apology bringing up the stack of bills down in the kitchen. I could cut a check to save the day without denting my checking account. That’s not the way though. Poppy would never accept it and more than likely would toss that check right in my face after what Grace’s dad did to her. She opened up to me at Santa’s workshop when Grace was entertained by the lights and music. Jesus, she’s let me back in her life exposing all the bad parts without shame and here I am not able to speak.
I push Poppy back on the bed then cover her body keeping most of my weight on my elbows perched next to her head. I glide my lips up and down her cheek taking in all of her.
“Poppy.”
“You’re leaving,” she blurts out. “Just say it.”
“What.” I reel back and stare at her. The tears brimming in her eyes destroy me.
“You’ve been on your phone. The world wants the King of country back. I get it. I really do, but do me one favor.”
I remain silent not speaking.
“Make love to me. I need something to remember.”
“Grace.” I wipe the stray tear tumbling down her face with the pad of my thumb. “I’m not leaving. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing with my life. All I do know is I’m happy where I am right now.”
“You will leave.” It’s not a question, but rather a statement.
“I can’t promise anything because I’m bound by a contract. There will be more concerts until that contract runs out. I know I can’t ask you to trust me. Hell, I can’t believe I’m even here with you. But Poppy I’m not leaving you this time.”
“I have Grace and the B & B.”
“Yeah.” I have to bite down on my tongue. “I can finish out the tour and come back here with you and Grace. It’s finally time I go after what my heart wants.”
She cups my cheeks. “Are you serious, Roan?”
I nod. “I’ve never fallen out of love with you either Poppy.”
“It’s going to kill me when you leave even with a promise of you returning.”
“It will always be you, Poppy, no matter where I go.”
I seal that last promise with kiss. This time we don’t stop. I give her what she needs and take everything in return with respect and pure love. I roam my hands up and down her body until I have her undressed.
“Lock the door,” she manages to get out.
I leap off the bed locking it stripping my clothes off and covering her body with mine. I spend long moments kissing her all over taking my time, when all I want to do is devour the hell out of this woman. With each press of my lips to her skin I vow in my soul to give her everything, take away all of her problems, and be the man by her side for the rest of our days.
“Roan.” She tugs on my hair and squeezes her legs around my head.
I keep going until I feel and hear her release. I throb with need unable to keep it at bay any longer, crawling back up her body pressing inside of her. The years of the screwed up puzzle of my life piece together right before my eyes.
Chapter 9
We both fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms not saying a word. Roan drifted off to sleep. I thought I wasn’t too far behind him. But sleep never came. I’ve laid here for an hour watching and studying his face. It’s so peaceful with no stress in sight.
It’s a true miracle he still has his kind and caring heart intact after being raised by his frigid parents and enduring the country scene. None of it had the power to strip away the good in my man.
I heard his promise and want nothing more than to believe it. I know he’ll do everything to make good on his end. If I only had to worry about him and me, our future would be bright. I’m no fool knowing the powers that be back in Nashville hold power over him.
I can’t go down that rabbit hole of what ifs. Like what if he finishes out the tour. Will there be women? Will he come home?
“Quit thinking so damn loud. You woke me up,” Roan grumbles, tugging me closer to him.
I kiss his chin. “Will you stay the night again? Spend Christmas Eve and day with us?”
“Thought I already was.” He smirks.
“Jerk.” I slap his chest.
Roan reaches down cupping my ass. “I’m gonna make this right. Make everything right, baby, there’s nothing to worry about.”
I want to ask what he means by everything right. But I don’t have a chance to before he’s on top of me moving, hypnotizing me into pool of lust diving right over a cliff into the greatest sensation.
Somehow we managed to get dressed and downstairs before Grace woke up. Dad and Mom are all bundled up and ready for our annual snowman building contest.
I turn to Roan letting him swallow me up in his strong hug. “So you know how some families have a contest with carving pumpkins?” I squeeze my arms tight around him. “Well my family has an annual snowman contest. “
Roan cups my cheek while staring down at me with a shit eating grin on his face. “I’ve been gone a few years, baby, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten everythi
ng. I know damn well you Hughes take your snowman contest damn serious.”
A warming sensation tingles from the tips of my toes up to my cheeks knowing the fact he recalls everything down to the little details. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that this man remembers it all even though he was dazzled by the bright lights and has the world in the palms of his hands.
But Cringle Cove and our hometown was more important to him than any of the bright lights or awards he racked up over the years. He’s showing me this fact each and every day that passes, granted it’s only been a few, but it’s more than I could ever of wished for. And I hope it’s something he’ll continue to show me the rest of our lives.
I have no idea how much time passes as I’m wrapped up in what this man has brought back in my life before Ivy is carrying Grace down the stairs in her arms. You can barely make out the two of them between all of the layers of clothing that adorn them. Of course it’s a fashion statement. The two of them look like they came straight from the front page of the American Girl catalogue. The part that gets me are their matching headbands. They are dual purpose to keep their ears warm and to add a little bling-bling to their outfits. Their high ponytail sticking out the top of their headband tiaras are just cherries on the top. I can’t help the way I beam wide at my best friend and little girl.
Dad clears his throat garnering the attention of everyone in the room. When it comes to being competitive my dad is the king. He doesn’t like to lose and he doesn’t like cheaters either.
“All right, you know how this works, we will be drawing for teams and you’re only allowed to use the materials provided. Your mom put together each kit with great care. Every team will be given the same material, but it’s up to you to decorate your snowman. Creativity is key! And this year our judge is none other than Little Miss Grace. The apple of my eye.”
We all know even though Grace is the judge it will be Dad who has the final say on which team wins. It’s never fair even though my dad is a strict rule follower because he always makes sure our mom wins. And it’s not too big of a cheat considering my mom is the most talented person when it comes to arts and crafts. The woman is a wizard with her hands. Grace got the honors of being the judge last year by pointing her chubby finger at one with lots and lots of help from Dad. I have to admit this is one of my favorite parts of Christmas.
