Suffering & Salvation

by Kenzie James Celia Kyle

  “Of course. You never have to ask. This is your house, too. Anything within my power to give you is yours.”

  She released him in the blink of an eye, raced toward the stairs, smelling their combined scents in the air, running through corridors until she burst into the bedroom, stripping for the second time that day. Brand’s laughter sounded from behind, his pounding steps echoing throughout the quiet home. Their home.

  Simi froze as she reached the bed, another scent mingling with theirs. Gemmie’s. The bed was made, room tidied, a pile of clothes stacked on top of the large mattress. Assorted shoes were lined up on the floor, along the foot of the bed. Her gaze fell on the note sitting amidst it all. Simi reached for it, unfolding the crisp paper.

  I brought in a few things to get you started. I guessed your size, but if you need anything else, I’ll take you shopping and we can get you all sorted, little cougar.

  Gemmie.

  A tear dropped from her eye onto the paper, blurring the ink. She wiped at the spot, wanting to save this gesture of kindness from someone she barely knew. Simi and Cougar would’ve never guessed that total strangers would ever treat them as well as this. Like they belonged. Like they mattered. Especially when her own kind never had.

  Laughing, Brand jogged into the room, only to fall silent. “Simi?”

  “She got me all these clothes.” She dropped to her knees, hugging a new leather pair of boots to her chest. “And so many shoes. Oh, Brand, I haven’t had new shoes in…” Simi couldn’t even remember, with Cougar shoving all of their painful memories to the back of their mind. Urging her to move on.

  Simi understood her animal’s message. The past was the past, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t change it. She only had the power to live for today, that she needed to move forward, make every day count.

  He knelt behind her, wrapping his arms around her chest, resting his head on her shoulder. “Yes, she did. And seeing the heels, there on the end, I imagine she may have picked up a dress for you as well.”

  Her head snapped up. “A dress?” She scrambled from the floor and hurried to the closet, giddy like a child on Christmas morning, searching out anything that might have her name written on it. She remembered having a dress when she was but a child, remembered feeling pretty, almost beautiful.

  Simi fingered the delicate material of each dress, shocked that there were five in all, each one more beautiful in its own way than the next. A dark turquoise babydoll dress caught her eye. With an empire waist and flowing skirt, she only hoped it could conceal some of the weight she’d lost, and that the long sleeves would cover the lingering bruises from her stay on the streets.

  She pulled the hanger from the rack and held it in front of her. “Is this too much for the Gathering? Or not enough?”

  He strolled toward her, hips rolling with each step. Brand trapped the dress between them when he pulled her into his arms. “I think it’s perfect. You’ll look beautiful in that color.”

  She released what she held and cradled his face in her palms, pulling him close. On tiptoes, she brought their lips together in a soft caress, a gentle meeting of their mouths. She eased back a little, savoring his breath, before returning for more, licking his lower lip, gathering his essence and relishing his taste.

  Cougar purred her approval, wanting all of him, but Simi wasn’t quite ready for that, not yet. Though Wolfie and Cougar had mated, Brand and Simi had not. Cougar had always been the aggressor, but not Simi. Small steps…one foot in front of the other.

  Brand groaned and returned the favor, his tongue stroking hers, leaving more of his taste for her to lap up. She slipped her tongue into his open mouth, their deep kiss waking the passion buried so deep she forgot she ever had. He tightened his hold, pulling her closer. She moaned into his mouth, savoring this special moment with her mate. She traced his teeth with the tip of her tongue, the inside of his lower lip, and then nibbled the soft bit of flesh.

  “A little more?” She didn’t know how much more, just more. The feelings, the gathering of pleasure, were different, new, but she liked it nonetheless. She’d never felt…so good before.

  “Just a little bit,” he agreed, invading her mouth, their tongues dueling one another, discovering, breath heavy with arousal and need, pressure mounting in the pit of her stomach and even stronger between her legs… One that she had no words to describe it…to do it justice.

  His desire was evident against her lower stomach, the material of clothing not acting as much of a barrier. Brand eased the kiss, bringing it back to light brushes and tiny tastes before ending it entirely, forehead resting against hers. She whimpered, easing forward again, not yet ready to end their make-out session.

  “Not so much, little one. My control is only so strong. And I doubt that you’re ready to go all the way, right?”

  Simi blushed and hid her face against his chest, shaking her head, wishing she was more like the animal in her.

  He tipped her chin up. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed. When you’re ready, but not a moment before. I’ll be waiting for you. Though…Wolfie feels better with having bonded with Cougar.” He leaned down and nuzzled her neck, and murmured in her ear, “He’s gloating, actually. He’s very happy with his little cat.”

  Cougar seemed delighted as well, constantly preening herself for when she’d see Wolfie again. A small whine, a sound she didn’t think she’d heard from Cougar before, filtered through her mind. Perhaps an expression of…envy? Want? An inquisitive arch of her brow and she wiggled free, not wanting Brand’s touch to distract her train of thought.

  And then a single word pushed through the barrier between animal and human. Name?

  “Oh.”

  “Simi? What is it?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Cougar wants a name. Like Wolfie. Wolfenstein. Wants something else besides Cougar. But I don’t know what else to call her. How did you come to give Wolfie his name again?”

  He watched her, eyes intent. “Remember? I told you we played the Wolfenstein games. A lot. He loved it so much. It just caught on, so I just started calling him that. And…it happened to stick.”

  “We don’t have that.” Her frown deepened.

  He picked up the dress and placed it back on the rack. “Come on, we can find something that’ll make her happy.”

  Brand sat her down in front of his computer, something much more sophisticated than she’d ever touched. But within moments, he had her surfing various baby name sites, digging through meanings and origins and picking names she could never have thought up on her own.

  He’d left her alone, saying that this was something only Cougar and she should share. He told her he’d be in the den, watching TV if she needed him.

  Page after page she studied, losing time, looking and hunting for something that would make Cougar happy. Why wasn’t her cougar happy with, well, Cougar? Cougar growled at her smartass comment, and her search continued. Then Simi stumbled on it, one that meant “strong willed.” Cougar chuffed loud in her mind, purring and pacing, wanting.

  “Isa,” Simi said aloud, testing the name on her tongue, seeing how Cougar would react to the sound of her new name.

  Cougar replied almost immediately. Isa! Isa!

  Jumping up, she knocked over the chair, but didn’t stop to right it. “Brand!” Simi yelled for him, running from the room, anxious to announce the name they’d settled on. “Brand!” She raced down the steps and he met her at the bottom. She launched herself at him and he caught her around the waist easily, swinging her around.

  “I take it we found a name?”

  She kissed him, lips pressed hard together, and then pulled back. “We did! She chose Isa. It means strong willed.”

  He smiled. “She’d have to be to survive, to help you survive. It’s a perfect name and Wolfie is very pleased with her choice.”

  She hugged him tighter. “And she talked to me again. Oh, she’s so happy, Brand. She loves her name. And…she loves you.” She worried her lip, not y
et ready to admit her own growing feelings for the man.

  Brand’s smile softened. “And Wolfie loves her.” He kissed her hard and fast before setting her on her feet. “Now let’s get that shower and change. The Gathering is fast approaching. We won’t have time for a bath for Isa, though. I’m sorry, little cat. Just enough time to make ourselves presentable, then we have to get going.”

  Simi reached for him this time, the first instance of reaching for him, instead of him pulling her along. “It’s okay, she knows. She’s just so happy to have her very own name.” She and Isa both were. To finally be coming into their own, starting to leave the pain behind and begin anew.

  She tugged him up the stairs, leading the way, being dominant in a way that was completely foreign to her. Reaching the bedroom, she released his hand, suddenly nervous again, unsure.

  “Go ahead and shower first, Simi. I’ll just keep watching TV, and I’ll go after you.”

  She nodded and disappeared behind the door. The shower she took would be quick and efficient, a method to wash away sweat and nothing more.

  In minutes, she was clean and dry, wrapped in a towel and opening the door, allowing Brand entrance. She placed a hand on his arm when he approached, stopping him in the doorway and giving him a kiss on his lips. A small gesture perhaps, but it was a step in the right direction.

  Simi pulled the dress from the rack once again and slid it over her head, forgoing bra and panties just in case she needed to shift. She didn’t know these wolves. Didn’t trust, not yet. Hair still wet, she dabbed at it with a towel, soaking up as much moisture as she could. Cougar—Isa—didn’t like the loud noise of a blow-dryer, so she often went without.

  Simi exited the closet and traipsed toward the dresser, smiling when she found a wide-tooth comb. Sifting through the tangles, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the calming action of running the plastic through her hair.

  “That is a beautiful sight.” He came up behind her, arms around her waist, erection pressing against the crack of her ass, but she didn’t flinch. She didn’t press back, either, but still, it was another step in the right direction.

  She opened her eyes and stepped out of his embrace, turning and drinking in his appearance. The muscles, the wet hair, the sparkling eyes of her mate. For once in her life, love was within a hand’s reach. Right there. She knew it. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

  Before she lost her nerve, more spur of the moment than anything else, she blurted the words, “I love you.”

  “Yeah?” He didn’t move, so she closed the distance between them, hugging him, nodding against his still damp chest.

  “But I’m scared.”

  He ran a hand down her back, resting it on her hip. “I know, but you have nothing to be afraid of. Not with me. We’ll get through it, though. The healing. I promise.” Taking her lips in his, he then said, “I love you too, sweetie. Not just because of Wolfie and Isa, but because Brand loves Simi, okay?”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  He tightened his hold for a moment. “Good. Let me get dressed.” A questioning look marring his handsome face, he asked, “You know what?”

  “No, what?”

  “We got so caught up in the day that we forgot to eat. It’s okay. I know Gemmie left us something in the fridge. I’m sure you’re as hungry as I am. Gotta hurry, though. Don’t want to be late when you’re the star.”

  Her stomach dropped—as nervousness, worry and now hunger gnawed her insides. She grabbed his hand before he could get out of reach. “Brand? I’m not wearing any panties. Or a bra.”

  He swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing. His voice was hoarse and the bulge in his pants seemed to grow. “Because?”

  “I know it makes no sense, but what if I have to protect myself? And I have to shift quickly? I’m scared, Brand, and I know I don’t have to be anymore, but from where I’m standing, it’s easier said than done.” She was staring at the beige carpet by the time she was done with her confession.

  A single finger tipped her chin up. “It’s okay to be scared and worried. You don’t have a reason to be, but you have to learn that for yourself. If going half-naked to the Gathering makes you comfortable, then you do it.”

  “Brand!” Simi pushed her mate away, but she couldn’t stop her lips from forming into a smile at his jest.

  “I love it when you smile, I can’t help it.” A kiss followed, this one deeper, tongues tangling, arms securing, fronts pressing, and all she could do was whimper, not entirely sure what it was that was missing, but wanting it just the same.

  He pulled away, a smug smile in place on his handsome face. “Just remember…you’re mine.”

  “And you’re mine.”

  “Absolutely.”

  She nodded, sighing deep. Okay, she could do this. She was allowed to worry and be cautious. Brand was giving her time, but she didn’t always need to be so defensive. She took another deep breath, giving herself a pep talk while Brand got dressed.

  Still too soon to fully let her guard down, for right now, Isa was in agreement. Better to be overcautious than to be dead. Now that Isa had been let out of her cage, there was no way she’d let anyone hurt them.

  * * *

  Simi wished Gemmie was still there so she could thank her for the food, the clothes, her kindness, but she wasn’t there. Simi didn’t ask Brand where she was, but she was gone by the time they had returned from their run. She made a mental note to thank her later…for everything she’d done for a complete stranger.

  Having scarfed up their delicious dinner of leftover spaghetti and meatballs, Simi had helped Brand clean up, then she’d headed into the bathroom to look herself over one more time before they left. Satisfied she still looked presentable, Simi returned to her mate…waiting for her with the biggest smile on face.

  “Wow.”

  “I look okay?”

  “Absolutely stunning.” Brand tucked in his polo shirt and zipped up his slacks before tying on a pair of boots. Good. Boots. She hated loafers. Malcolm had always worn loafers. Less to remind her of her ex, the better. “Ready?” he asked, adjusting the waistline of his pants.

  “You look pretty good yourself, little wolf.” She smiled. She was ready. Ready to start her new journey, and though apprehensive, Isa and she were looking forward to a life of freedom and change. “Yup. Let’s do this.”

  She approached him, slipping into her heels at the foot of the bed on the way, blowing past him and down the stairwell.

  “Careful, Simi!” Brand followed, but kept his distance. Giving her the space he must’ve thought she still needed. He grabbed a set of keys from the hook by the front entryway before opening the door and holding it for her to exit first. She stepped through and approached the SUV in the circular drive, and the closer she got, the more anxious she became.

  Once they were both inside, he turned the ignition, a worried look on his face. She placed her hand on his forearm as he shifted into gear. They were on their way to the Gathering. Her and her mate, Isa and Wolfie, driving now on the road to her second chance at life.

  “Don’t worry yourself, Brand. I’ll be okay. Promise. I’ll be okay.” Simi repeated those words, maybe trying to convince herself to believe in what she said.

  He snagged her hand and brought it to his lips. “Your wish is my command, little one. But I’m here for you. You’re not alone. Always remember that.” He set her hand on his thigh and she kept it there, enjoying the flex of muscle beneath her palm as he drove them to their destination.

  Chapter Six

  Her attention just beginning to focus on the passing landscape, she was surprised to find them turning into a driveway only a few minutes after they’d left. “I thought…”

  “All the members of Pack live relatively close together. For obvious reasons.”

  “We could’ve walked.”

  He drew her hand to his lips again, brushing a kiss on her knuckles. “We could have. But I don’t want you to get sick, wet hair and all. Besides, I couldn’t tak
e a chance in dirtying that pretty little dress of yours.” He winked and released her.

  The SUV parked, he asked her to wait so that he could get the door for her. She watched the joyful expression on his face as he circled around to her side, beaming from ear to ear as he opened the door for her. It was then that Simi realized just how much pleasure he seemed to derive in doing things for her. What a gentleman. What a catch. She felt lucky to have met such a kind, warmhearted man. Being good-looking with a hard body didn’t hurt, either. Not even the teensiest bit. Brand held her hand as she stepped down, ensuring she didn’t topple over.