The Wish

by Beverly Lewis

  “How is your family, by the way?”

  “Oh, pretty much the same. Dawdi Benuel’s still as talkative as ever, but he’s slowing down some.”

  Jeannie nodded. “And how’s your mother?”

  Leona wondered if she was thinking about Mamma’s hard bout with pneumonia back when. “Mamma’s just fine and works circles round most young women.” Leona went on to mention how big Mahlon and Maggie’s children were getting. “I s’pose just seein’ them every so often, I notice the growth spurts more than their parents do.”

  They discussed Leona’s work at Maggie’s store for a while, and Jeannie asked about several of the area womenfolk. At last, she said, “Are all the same ministers still there?”

  “Well, no one’s passed away.” Leona wondered why she would ask. “As you know, they’re ordained for life.”

  A horse and buggy was coming toward them when Jeannie turned onto their road. All around, Amish farmers were plowing and planting.

  “I don’t mean to sound meddlesome,” Jeannie explained. “I’m just curious.”

  “Do you ever think of goin’ back?” Leona asked.

  Jeannie chuckled. “For a visit, maybe. That would be the right thing to do . . . but it’s not my place to decide any of that,” she said with a regretful look. “I need to stand by my husband’s choices, and I’m sure your mother would do the same.”

  Leona was surprised at the defensive tone that had crept into Jeannie’s voice. Gone were the closeness and understanding Leona had once shared with Gloria’s mother.

  This isn’t the Jeannie I knew.

  They got out of the car and headed for the house, Leona anxious to get to the privacy of her room. The day had been fraught with awkward moments, yet this had been the most uncomfortable.

  What’ll I say if Gloria asks my opinion of Darren? Leona wondered. It wasn’t so much that Darren was bad, if a little pushy . . . more that Gloria seemed to be resisting him. In truth, she almost seems annoyed by him.

  After Jeannie encouraged her to relax before supper, Leona organized her travel bag, readying it for the return trip and thinking ahead to tomorrow’s early morning departure. Leona wished she could stay another day, if only to get to the bottom of things with Gloria, who seemed so conflicted. Yet with Gloria at work until after the supper rush, there was precious little time left.

  Going to lie on top of the bedspread, Leona’s heart went out to the Gingeriches, Gloria in particular, but she felt at a loss to help, as enmeshed in the world as they had become. She could only guess at the state of her friend’s heart, but she was thankful she could pray to her all-knowing heavenly Father, who could heal any hurt. I trust Thee to give Gloria a tenderness toward the things that matter most in this life.

  ———

  Later, Leona wandered out to the kitchen and volunteered to help.

  “Everything’s under control, dear,” Jeannie said, “but you’re welcome to stroll out to the gazebo . . . see the yard if you’d like.”

  “All right.” Leona opened the back door and walked along the pebbled path, noticing the wooden rose arbor Joe must have built. A cement birdbath stood near Jeannie’s herb garden, and in the distance was a vacant horse barn. A few things still remain. . . .

  The white gazebo shimmered in the early evening light, and she made her way up the steps and leaned on the banister. She stared at the fertile farmland beyond and counted four barns and silos, plus a windmill. On the road to the south, a farmer was bringing his horse and market wagon home for the day.

  She faced hayfields and cornfields. Really, Joe and Jeannie had chosen an ideal spot here.

  Then, hearing footsteps behind her, she turned to see Adam. “Mind if I join ya, Leona?”

  She smiled. “I was just thinkin’ how this view reminds me of Colerain.”

  “Well, this is all the memory of Lancaster County I need,” he said. “I enjoy being English.”

  She listened, not too surprised.

  “But sometimes, I’m not so sure about Gloria.”

  “She seems fairly happy to me.” Except maybe about Darren.

  Adam shook his head. “It’s just a front.” He paused, glancing away for a moment. “I often wish my father had allowed her to stay put in Colerain with the People—with you.”

  Leona was amazed. “I wish that, too—believe me.”

  “The move here was hard on her. Gloria was blue for days when we were told we couldn’t write to you or anyone else back there.”

  “I appreciate you tellin’ me this, Adam.”

  “Well, she hasn’t been the same since—lost some of that plucky spirit she used to have. If you ask me, she just seems a bit unfocused, like she’s not sure where she fits in.”

  Leona pondered this. He’d given insight she wouldn’t otherwise have had, and it was encouraging to know she’d done the right thing by coming to visit. “You say you’re glad to be English, though.”

  “Definitely. I wouldn’t have had the chance to become a car mechanic otherwise. And I’ve met a really terrific girl here, too . . . Donnalynn. I hope to marry her someday.”

  “Gloria said you met her at church.”

  “Right. She’s got a great heart. The whole family really seems to like her, Mom especially.” He laughed. “Almost as much as they like Darren.”

  Soon, Jeannie called for supper, and Adam didn’t waste any time hurrying to the house. He held the screen door for Leona, and she thanked him for taking time to chat with her.

  At the table, it was Adam who suggested they bow their heads in a silent blessing before Joe reached for the platter of fried chicken. Jeannie passed it to Leona next, not putting anything on her own plate just yet. Ever the polite hostess, thought Leona, hoping Gloria might have time to grab a bite to eat during her busy shift.

  “Your visit with us is nearly over,” Jeannie said after the younger boys had served themselves and passed the platter back to their mother.

  “We’re glad you could make the trip,” Arkansas Joe said, looking Leona’s way.

  “Well, I’m glad I could get caught up with Gloria . . . and all of you.”

  Joe nodded, peering at her over the chicken leg he held to his lips.

  “And I really enjoyed your view from the gazebo,” she added.

  Joe groaned. “Seeing all these farms makes me thankful I don’t have to get up and feed the livestock before dawn, or groom the horses every day after breakfast. Not to mention hitch up a horse each time I need to run to town.”

  Leona said not a word.

  “Some of us miss the farm back in Lancaster County,” James piped up. “Don’t we, Jonas?”

  “Speak for yourself,” Jonas said, rolling his eyes. “I’d much rather shoot hoops than pitch hay.”

  Joe chuckled. “That’s my boy.”

  Jeannie glanced at Leona and gave an apologetic shrug.

  What about once Amish, always Amish? Leona mused. She could see the appeal of English life, but she could never imagine abandoning the Old Ways and people she’d grown up with to seek it out. If only the Gingeriches felt the same way . . .

  CHAPTER

  24

  Leona was all packed when there was a knock at the guest room door. “Comin’,” she said, hurrying to open it.

  There was Gloria, still in her waitressing outfit—trim black skirt and white apron. “Hampton let me off work early so I could spend a little more time with you.”

  “Such a gut surprise . . . come in.” Leona closed the door behind them.

  “I don’t feel bad leavin’ since the supper crowd has thinned out.”

  Leona sat on the bed, and Gloria pulled a chair over, removing her shoes and socks and resting her bare feet on the bed quilt.

  Suddenly, Gloria’s eyes were bright with tears. “I really don’t know what to do about Darren.”

  Leona held her breath. Please don’t ask me.

  “I think I need some space . . . time to think about where my life is heading,” Gloria s
aid, wiping her eyes. “I came close to confiding in you earlier today, but I couldn’t follow through. Then when Darren showed up for our lunch date, I felt strange, because even though I’d really wanted you to meet him, I was actually sorry when you did.”

  Leona went to get Gloria a tissue from the box on the dresser and handed it to her.

  “Thanks,” her friend said through her tears. “You always seem to know just what I need . . . which is why I wrote to you in the first place. I trust you, Leona, and I need you to help me think this through, because if I say yes to marrying Darren, I’ll be stuck being English for the rest of my life.” Gloria sighed heavily. “On the other hand, if I walk away from him, I’ll never know what I could have had with him. He’s a pretty great guy . . . so generous, and he has such a great future ahead. . . .”

  Leona had no words to counsel her, because Gloria was missing the most important ingredient: What did God want for her?

  “What should I do?” Gloria pleaded, her makeup all smudged.

  “Well, surely ya have a gut idea what I will say, ain’t so?”

  “Yes, even after all this time apart, you’re still my closest friend.”

  Leona drew a breath and considered Gloria . . . and everything Leona had observed since arriving in Arkansas. “All right. S’pose to start with, you could ask yourself how you feel now, livin’ as an Englischer.”

  Gloria looked miserable. “When I think ahead to having a family and . . .” She couldn’t seem to finish.

  “And what?”

  “Well, to raising my children outside the faith of my Amish heritage.” The words seemed to tumble out, and Gloria herself looked surprised.

  “You sometimes wonder ’bout your wee ones and the kind of life they might have as Englischers?”

  Nodding slowly, Gloria’s tears welled up again. “It keeps me awake at night, Leona. I’m worried sick I might do the wrong thing for my own future, as well as that of my children.” She dabbed her eyes with the tissue, then added, “I know Darren would be a good provider. Well, I can’t know that for sure, but his family’s done well for themselves.”

  “Are ya seeking wealth, then?”

  “More security than wealth,” Gloria admitted.

  “Dare I ask where Darren stands on attending worship, and following God’s ways?”

  Gloria sighed. “He’s not too keen on church . . . not yet, anyway. I was hoping I might change his mind.”

  Leona pondered that. “I’m sorry this is so hard for ya, Gloria. But in the end, it’s a choice you alone can make . . . and live with.” Leona reached for her hand. “You’ve been blessed to experience the Amish life, and I know God means for ya to marry a man who respects Him.”

  Nodding, Gloria said, “I’ve experienced both sides of the fence now. I just wish it wasn’t such a knotty problem. A husband and wife are supposed to be willing to meet each other halfway, right? Isn’t that real love?”

  Leona hadn’t heard it stated quite that way, but she agreed. “And remember, it ain’t just the two of you in a marriage. The Lord is ever present to guide you when you ask.” She smiled at her friend. “He often speaks in a still, small voice, ya know.”

  “But how can I get quiet enough to hear it?” Gloria sat there like a helpless child.

  “Funny you say that, ’cause I’ve wondered that, too, sometimes.”

  “So what do you do?”

  “Remember that clearing in the woods not far from our barnyard? I walk there, breathing in the fresh smell of pine and the forest, and remind myself to trust, wait, and hope. Waiting for God’s timing is hopeful trust.”

  “Hopeful trust,” Gloria whispered. “I like that.”

  “When we recognize that Jesus is the Savior of the world, then things fall into place.”

  “I believe that, too, but it’s good to be reminded. Lately, I’ve been so confused. And I wonder how to tell if what I have with Darren is built for the long haul.”

  “Love that’s true and honest cherishes the other person more.” Leona was thinking of First Corinthians, chapter thirteen. Surely, Gloria had read it or heard a minister preach about it.

  A light seemed to come into Gloria’s eyes. “What if . . .” She shook her head. “No, that’s just crazy.”

  “What’s crazy?”

  “It just popped into my head: What if I could get off work for a while. . . .” Her voice trailed away.

  Leona’s heart leaped as she sensed what Gloria might be trying to say. “Maybe you’d like to come home with me—have some time away. Is that what you’re thinkin’?”

  “I don’t see how I can swing that. I’ve been working hard to save up for some college courses next fall.”

  “You might just benefit from seeing good old Brownie again. And you could roam the countryside you used to love so. Take time to pray a little?”

  “Or a lot.” A sad little smile broke across Gloria’s face. “Sure, I’ll go. Might bring me some peace.”

  Spurred on toward her goal, Leona quickly suggested, “I could call and leave a message with Maggie. She checks her messages more frequently than my parents do. She’ll get the voicemail tomorrow and can tell my parents to get the spare room ready.”

  Gloria’s eyes were puffy. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Are you?” Leona asked.

  “My job’s the biggest obstacle. But I’ll call Hampton to ask, see what he says.”

  Leona reached into her purse for Ted Bell’s business card. “And I’ll check to see if there’s room in the van tomorrow, in case you can go, too.”

  “Forget that—I’ll drive us. A road trip together might be fun.” Gloria was grinning now.

  Leona had never seen such a swift transformation. “All right, then—I’ll help ya pack, okay?”

  Gloria leaped up and hugged her. “You were always the dearest friend ever.”

  “Might your father object?”

  “Oh, he definitely will.”

  Won’t my parents be shocked? she thought, hoping Gloria could get the time off. And how will Tom react?

  Gloria motioned for Leona to go with her to her room, where she phoned her boss, thanking him at first for letting her take off early tonight. Then she somewhat reticently told him she really needed some time away. “Can you manage at the diner without me for a while?”

  Leona felt odd sitting there and listening in, but very soon Gloria’s glum facial expression lifted.

  When she hung up, she pumped her fist into the air. “We’re all set,” she said, beaming. “That went more smoothly than I thought. It must be God’s will for me to drive you back.”

  “But you’re not doin’ this just for me, are ya?”

  “Oh no. It’ll give us more time together, for one thing. And strange as it may sound, I am looking forward to walking around my old stomping grounds.”

  “Not strange at all.” Leona felt ecstatic.

  Gloria handed the phone to her. “Now you can make your call to the driver, okay?” And she left the room.

  When Ted answered, Leona quickly explained her situation and apologized for the last-minute notice. Ted said he was fine with it and mentioned that another couple wanted to ride back to the Lancaster area. “This will be an answer to prayer for them.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Leona said, hanging up to call and leave a voice message for Maggie at the phone shed not far from their house, praying that Maggie would relay the news to Dat and Mamma in time.

  In the room above Gloria’s, Leona heard muffled voices growing louder by the second. Then a loud thump—was it the stomp of a foot as Joe literally put his foot down on Gloria’s hopes?

  “This is not a good idea, Gloria!” Joe was yelling so loudly now, Leona no longer had to imagine his reaction. She began to fret—what if Gloria caved in and didn’t go through with it, and Leona had canceled her spot on the van prematurely? I’d be stuck here for who knows how long!

  She paced the floor, frustrated. Telling herself to calm dow
n, she decided to put into practice what she’d told Gloria was her best way of handling life struggles. She left the house to go to the gazebo and talk with her heavenly Father. It was a good way to block out the commotion taking place upstairs. She pictured Gloria standing in her parents’ bedroom, trying to talk over their objections while Leona prayed for understanding on the part of Joe and Jeannie . . . and for their daughter’s freedom to return to Colerain for a reprieve.

  Sitting down in the gazebo, Leona was conscious of the soft night chorus of crickets, and the glimmers of fireflies over neighboring meadows. She heard the rumble of a passing carriage in the distance.

  Joe Gingerich gave up that tranquil life, she thought, befuddled at how he and his family could be so thoroughly encircled by the Amish with whom they’d once rubbed shoulders, yet somehow manage to ignore them daily.

  CHAPTER

  25

  Gloria’s family was still sleeping when she pressed the garage door opener and slipped out of the house with Leona a couple hours before dawn the next morning. It made perfect sense to get on the road before other travelers.

  “My father’s not pleased that I’m going back with you,” Gloria said as they headed out of town.

  “Well, I’m so relieved it worked out,” Leona said, her hair up in a bun tucked beneath a blue scarf instead of her formal white head covering.

  “It’s pretty remarkable, to tell you the truth.” Gloria didn’t know how much she wanted to say about her father’s heated indignation. Even her mother had seemed displeased, as though Gloria were somehow judging them by going.

  Leona glanced at her, hands folded in her lap. “Miracles do happen.”

  “Dad was helpful enough, though, to warn me there won’t be many places along this highway to stop and eat for quite a distance. And he says there’s constant road construction around Memphis.”

  “That’s gut to know.”

  “And Mom, bless her heart, took time last night to help me prepare sandwiches, fruit, and drinks. They’re in the cooler in the back seat,” Gloria said, mentally forgiving her parents for making such a fuss.