Sentenced

by L. L. Collins

  “You look smoking hot,” Natalie commented, walking up behind me in my bathroom. I smiled at her, continuing to do my makeup. She sat on the edge of the bathtub, watching me. “You know that guy Johnny that handles the band stuff here? God, I want that inside me.”

  I poked myself in the eye with the eyeliner I was holding, stepping back and holding my eye. “FUCK!”

  She hurried to my side. “What happened? Are you okay?”

  I blinked, tears dripping out of my eye. There went my makeup. That hurt like hell. “I stabbed myself in the fucking eye. Shit, that hurts.”

  “Rinse it with some water,” she said. Natalie was a year older than me, and the only sister-like figure I’d ever had. I listened, knowing I was going to have to start over with the makeup anyway. I’d be okay if she didn’t say one more word about what she wanted to do with Johnny. Not that I cared, right? Right.

  Once the crisis was averted and my makeup was done, I stepped back to look at my profile. My eye was still watering but not too bad. Tonight’s choice of outfit was a pair of leather shorts and a low cut tank. My hair was teased up and in a high ponytail. I had big hoops dangling from my ears. It was rumored that tonight’s crowd would be double last night’s.

  My stomach fluttered with nerves. Who knew that I’d ever be here? Not that we were big by any means, but hell. I never thought I’d have the attention of a major rock band that I idolized, much less be going on tour with them.

  Fuck you, Dad. Look at me now. I am what I am despite you. I shook my head, ridding myself of thinking of him. I wasn’t going to waste two more seconds on that piece of shit.

  “Anyway, as I was saying before you tried to gouge your eye out, I want to try to get Johnny to come up with me tonight. Do you think he would?”

  Damn it, she brought it up anyway. I shrugged. “How the fuck do I know? Why would you want that anyway?”

  Natalie’s eyes bugged out of her head. She stepped up and put her hand on my forehead. I smacked it away. “Are you ill? Bexley Jade, you seriously never cease to amaze me.”

  “What? So he’s a guy. He has a dick the same as all other guys.”

  She snorted. “Bex. My god. He oozes sex. The second I saw that man I knew he had to be a god in bed. I want that inside my . . .”

  “Okay,” I interrupted. “That’s enough of that. If you want him, get him. Just don’t be crying to me when he breaks your heart.”

  She looked confused. “My heart? I don’t want anything to do with hearts, Bex. He can break me in other ways, though.”

  My stomach rolled. She had to shut up and now. “Where are the guys?”

  “Waiting on you, Master,” she teased. “I’ll get them if you’re ready.”

  I looked at the chain watch on my wrist. We had fifteen minutes until show time. “Yeah, go get them. We can warm up.”

  The second the door shut, I gripped the edge of the dresser and stared at myself in the mirror. Get. A fucking. Grip, Bexley. You’re going to go down there and put on the show and pretend Johnny doesn’t exist.

  I stood up, glaring at myself in the mirror. Yes, that’s exactly what I was going to do.

  I jumped around the stage, the headset that was attached to my head booming my voice throughout The Outrigger. Sweat rolled down my back and strands of my hair were matted to my face, but I didn’t care about any of that. The crowd was easily twice as big as last night’s, and they were singing along with us and I was in my element. I lived for the feeling of performing on stage and getting lost in the euphoria of playing. It was the only time I felt truly alive. It was the only thing that made me feel like the person I wanted to be.

  Ryver came up next to me and we rocked around the stage together, both of us intent on the chords we were playing. Tanner was behind us, accompanying us, and Beau was awaiting his turn. As the song finished, I took a deep breath and wiped my forehead. It was just then that I saw Johnny standing at the edge of the crowd.

  Shit. His eyes were boring into mine. The expression on his face was hard to read; he looked almost pissed. He wore the standard uniform for The Outrigger employees: black shirt with the logo on the front and khaki shorts. Hot damn if he didn’t wear it much better, though. His dark sunglasses were on top of his head, and his chiseled jaw was covered by his short beard. I couldn’t stop myself from watching his muscles flex as he moved. Why was I attracted to him? So he was ripped and oozed sex appeal from every pore. Who cared?

  I want that inside me, I remembered Natalie saying earlier. Well, Natalie could have him. I turned away, forcing the buzz of anticipation that had started low in my belly back where it belonged. I scanned the crowd, wishing for someone else to grab my attention that I could actually do something with.

  Why can’t you do something with him, the lady bits talked again. I willed them to shut up and signaled Beau to start the next set. This was a song that Beau and I had co-written also, called ‘Lock Me Up.’

  The hours flew by and before I knew it, we were saying our goodbyes to night two. We had one more night at The Outrigger before we took a sabbatical to rehearse our show before touring. We’d be practicing in a makeshift ‘studio’, which was really an office building we’d rented. Someday maybe we’d be able to afford a real place.

  I drank an entire bottle of water, some of it running out of my mouth and into the slit in my shirt. My whole body was sticky and sweaty, and the cool stream of water was relieving. Good thing I was used to these humid Florida nights, because they could seriously mess with you. I followed the guys through the back hallway towards the manager’s office and a small room where we’d hung out prior to the show. It kept us from having to walk through the crowd to leave, which could get hairy.

  I turned to see Natalie talking to Johnny, and I rolled my eyes. Good. Maybe he’d leave me alone if she paid him some attention.

  “Damn, it’s hot.” I lifted my shirt and flapped it, trying to get some air. My leather shorts were stuck to me like a second skin. The lights shining down on us during the show didn’t help the heat factor either. I grabbed another bottle of water and sucked it down, my stomach growling. I wondered if Johnny was going to deliver our food again.

  Beau opened his bottle and flung water at me. “Stop!” I snapped.

  “Just trying to cool you off,” he shrugged, putting the cap back on the bottle. He was used to my demands. If there was anyone that truly got me, it was him. We’d met almost exactly ten years ago, the month I moved in to what would be my final foster home. We’d immediately connected. Playing music with him and running away from the home together, along with Natalie, had been the only thing that kept me from losing it completely. Even though Natalie couldn’t carry a tune to save her life, she’d taken on the role of being our protector and manager, and that was fine with me.

  “What’s up with Natalie and Johnny?” Tanner asked. I followed his gaze and saw they were standing in the hallway. She had her hand on his chest, and he was leaning over so he could hear her, his eyes intent on hers.

  I rolled my eyes. “Who the hell cares? She’s a big girl. If she wants to hook up, more power to her.”

  Beau groaned. “Please. Don’t talk about it. That’s my sister.”

  Ryver laughed. “What, you don’t want to think about Natalie getting pounded by a hot beefy bartender?”

  We all laughed, even though I didn’t want to. That caught the attention of Natalie and Johnny, and they headed towards us. I turned so that I wasn’t looking at him. He wasn’t worth a second of my attention.

  “What’s so funny down here?” Natalie asked. Johnny didn’t say anything, but I could feel him in the room. Hell, I could smell him in the small space. Tingling erupted in my belly again. I made a mental note to invest in a good vibrator. I obviously needed to get a grip.

  The guys all shut up and shrugged, making Natalie turn her attention to me. I shrugged, still not turning around to see him standing with her.

  “I’m hungry,” I announced. “And hot as fuck.
I’m going upstairs to take a shower.” I turned my head and looked pointedly at Johnny. “Are you bringing food tonight? I want chicken tenders and fries with a side of ranch and a huge coke. Can you handle that?”

  I felt Natalie glaring at me. Yeah, I was being a bitch. This was something they all knew about me. I didn’t apologize for it. To me, you either liked me or you didn’t, and I couldn’t care less if you didn’t. I’d spent my life trying to get attention, to be good so I could be loved, and look where the hell that had gotten me. I’d decided long ago that I was no longer sweet Bexley who had friends and loved people. No, that Bexley didn’t get anywhere with that.

  Johnny turned to the other guys. “What do you guys want? Same room, Natalie? Cal has a full staff, so I’m solely for your pleasure tonight.”

  I snorted. I couldn’t help it. “Any of you guys need a blow job? Johnny’s offering his services tonight.”

  Even the guys looked shocked at my diarrhea of the mouth. Damn, I needed to get out of here. “I’ll be in my room.” With that, I stormed out, leaving all of them staring after me. I was sure Natalie made some sort of excuse for my attitude, but she shouldn’t. I wasn’t sorry and didn’t need his ass following me around all the time.

  I’d no sooner stepped into my bathroom to shower away the grime when I heard a rapid knocking on the door. Wrapping myself in a towel, I padded to the door and looked out the peephole. Fuck. Of course, he was at my door. Wasn’t he supposed to be in Natalie’s?

  “Wrong room. The band is meeting in 301.”

  “Open up.” I stared at him through the peephole. What did he want?

  “No.”

  I watched him run his hand through his hair, making it spike. He didn’t have any food in his hands. That meant that he’d either already been to the other room or Natalie had taken the food for him. Either way that meant she was in on this. What was their end game here?

  “Bex.”

  I rested my forehead against the door. What in the hell was this guy’s problem? “Are you just so used to people doing whatever you want that you can’t catch a hint? I’m not interested.”

  “Open. The. Door.” He wasn’t playing, but neither was I.

  “I’m in a towel. I was about to take a shower. I’m not up for visitors. So why don’t you tell me what the hell you want, and then leave me be.”

  He clenched his hands. I recognized the set of his jaw and the ticking of the muscle because it was one of my tells also.

  “Open the door,” he said again. This time, he reached into his pocket and lifted a card up to the peephole. “See this? It’s from Natalie. So either you let me in, or I let myself in.”

  Fuck her. She was fired. Why the hell would she give him the key to my room? She didn’t know him from Adam! What if he was a rapist or something?

  “She didn’t give you my key. She wouldn’t.”

  He sighed. “You’re right. It’s her key, so I could take the food in. Please.”

  I didn’t know why, but something about the way he said please made me a little less frosty to him. Just a smidge. And even if I let him in, that didn’t mean I had to entertain anything else.

  I ran to my suitcase and flung on a t-shirt and short shorts sans underwear. At least I was more covered than a towel. Flinging open the door, I crossed my arms in front of my chest for several reasons. First, I didn’t want him to think I was welcoming him in here at all, and second I didn’t want him to see I wasn’t wearing a bra. I was perky, but I was full. My nips would be on full alert around him.

  He filled my doorway, his eyes raking me up and down. “You said you were in a towel.”

  “I was.” I indicated behind me, where the towel was on the bed. “I put some clothes on to find out what was so goddamn important you wouldn’t leave me alone. How do I know you aren’t some sort of freak or something?”

  He smirked. “Do you really believe I’m a freak? I might be, but the kind you would like.”

  A freak in bed. Damn you, lady bits. Shut the hell up. “How do I know who you are? All I know is that ever since we got here yesterday you’ve been all over me like white on rice. Now you’re demanding me to open the door to my room. What am I supposed to think?”

  I watched as Johnny stepped inside the room and shut the door. The whole place got a lot smaller once he was standing within a foot of me. “I wanted to apologize.”

  A bitter laugh burst out of my lips. “Really. For what?”

  “For what I’m about to do.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, but I didn’t have time to react any further because he hauled my body to his and held the back of my head with his large hand. He consumed my mouth just like he’d done last night. My bare breasts under my thin shirt pressed into his firm chest, and I hated myself for furiously kissing him back. My hands gripped his forearms as he sucked my tongue into his mouth. My hips had a mind of their own as I started moving against him, feeling how aroused he was for me. Why wasn’t this a good idea again? At the moment, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with enjoying him for one night.

  He pulled back just as quickly as he’d taken me in the first place, leaving me gasping for breath and turned on. “Tell me you don’t fucking want me, Bex, and I walk out that door. I want you, and it’s obvious that you want me, too. But I’m not going to beg you.”

  “Why do you want me? Are you some sort of groupie? Are you going to go tell everyone that you banged the lead singer of Jaded Regret? I mean, what’s your end game?”

  He stepped one step back and put his hand on his large girth under his shorts. “I don’t need to be a groupie, Bex. I also don’t go talking about my life with anyone. So no, that’s not why.”

  “Then why?” I crossed my arms over my chest, my lips burning from the scorching kiss.

  “Do you really want to keep talking?”

  Oh, he was good. Deflect and dodge the question. I thought that was my specialty. And no, I didn’t want to, but I had to be careful. For multiple reasons.

  He sighed. “Listen. You’re hot. I’m not a commitment kind of guy, and I kinda get the same vibe from you. So here’s what I’m proposing. We have a good time tonight. If you like what I give you—and you will—then we enjoy it again tomorrow. Then once you’re done here at The Outrigger, we never have to see each other again.”

  It sounded . . . perfect. But things that sounded perfect were usually anything but.

  “Stop thinking,” he said, stepping closer to me again. He knew doing that was going to make me stop thinking entirely. My libido was the only thing screaming, blocking out any rational thoughts my brain was having.

  “Natalie will be looking for me,” I said weakly.

  He grinned, knowing he was getting to me. “No, she won’t. I told her I was coming to talk to you.”

  “She wanted you.”

  “No, she didn’t. She wanted to get a reaction from you.” I didn’t think that was true, but I wasn’t going to argue. My resolve was weakening by the second.

  “I don’t like you,” I said, sounding like a petulant child.

  Johnny laughed, throwing his head back. “Baby, you don’t have to like me. But you will like what I do to you.”

  I was momentarily stunned, but quickly recovered. “Don’t call me baby.”

  He smirked. “Oh, yeah. No princess, or sweetheart, and now no baby. What can I call you while I’m fucking you?”

  My mouth dropped open. “You know what, get out of my room. Go find someone else to get your dick wet tonight.” I wouldn’t listen to this asshole patronizing me by calling me those ridiculous names. If he wanted someone to be his ‘baby,’ he was barking up the wrong fucking tree.

  “The only thing going to be wet tonight is you. You’re probably already dripping all over those shorts.” Johnny closed the remaining space between us and lifted me so fast I felt dizzy. “You want to hate me? That makes for even better sex.”

  I’d never met anyone like Johnny before. He was crass and rough and t
oo pushy. But he was also sexy, alpha, and did I mention sexy? He was everything I hated, but also what I found myself wanting a taste of right now.

  I pushed against him as he pinned me under him on the bed. “Get off me.”

  “Is that really what you want?” Johnny’s voice was gruff in my ear. I had no fear of him; it wasn’t like that. He wasn’t trying to take advantage of me; he just read me. There weren’t too many people that dared push past my bitchy exterior. “God, you smell so damn good.” He ran his fingers down my arms and sides, stopping at the button of my shorts. “Tell me to stop again and I’m gone.”

  I blinked up at him, knowing I was sweaty and needed a shower but not caring for one second. He said no commitment, just the way I liked it. And I needed a good roll in the sack.

  Johnny smirked. “You aren’t going to tell me to stop, are you?”

  I bit my lip and shook my head, his eyes zeroing in on the action. “I’m going to bite you everywhere,” he growled, his fingers making quick work of my button and shoving my shorts down to my ankles. I kicked them off.

  Johnny pushed my legs apart and touched my hot flesh with one finger and then two. I moaned, arching my back, unashamed of how vocal I was being; it felt that fucking fantastic. The way he curled his fingers and pressed the heel of his hand against me . . .

  He used his other hand to shove my shirt up to my neck, leaving my chest exposed to him. I’d never been so turned on in my entire life. Yeah, I said I hated him. I know, I know.

  He sucked and bit my right nipple and then moved to my left, continuing to send me into a spiral with his fingers.

  “So fucking wet,” he groaned. “Just like I knew you would be. Tight, wet, and hot as hell. Waxed, baby. That’s hot.”

  I tensed when he called me baby, but I tried to ignore it because I didn’t want him to stop. I forced the memories away and focused on how he made me feel.