Use Somebody

by Riley Jean

  When we passed through the security door, I had a bold idea to press the panic button obscured in the corner. My eyes flickered to the floor. Could I get away with it without him seeing?

  The gunner must have read my thoughts. “Don’t even think about it,” he hissed, and switched his aim towards Gabriel. “Hit that button and lover boy dies.”

  My lungs compressed. No! Not my Gabriel!

  Not one to be intimidated, Gabriel didn’t even flinch. “Do your worst,” he challenged, his eyes hard and tone brusque.

  Stone cold fear traveled up my spine. Having the gun pointed at me was one thing. Having it on him was something else entirely. Now I was terrified. I would do anything this man wanted, if only he’d stop pointing the gun at my Gabriel.

  “No! Please!” I cried. The panic was finally setting in and the tears were welling up. “Please. I wasn’t going to hit it. I’ll do whatever you want. Please don’t hurt him.”

  His eyes crinkled with triumph, satisfied that he was finally getting the reaction he desired.

  “Oh, I know you will, sweetheart, I know you will.”

  * * *

  [Present]

  After long minutes of the two of us just sitting in piercing silence, he sighed. “I get it, Rosie,” he said softly. “I understand everything.”

  “No,” I said gently. “You don’t.”

  He shook his head. “Your anger. Your nightmares. Pushing everyone away. It all makes sense now.” He looked at me, devastation evident in his eyes. “You were robbed at gunpoint. Kidnapped. Restrained in the backseat while fleeing the police. And hit the wall…” It sounded like he had memorized the article, the way he was shooting off summarized bullet points. “You watched an innocent man get shot, right in front of you.”

  As if it was my own chest the bullet had hit, I was struck with an image of Gabriel that was still physically painful. One that had changed my life.

  “You have PTSD,” he whispered.

  “You don’t know the whole story,” I insisted. The article didn’t cover the worst of it, nor the depths of my guilt. The time to trust him—to be honest with him—was long overdue. I wasn’t going to run anymore.

  “I want to tell you the rest.”

  Chapter 43

  The Angel and the Monster

  “Valentine’s Day” by Linkin Park

  I took the paper and used my palms to smooth it over my lap. The ink started to blur together, but I blinked until I could once again make out the letters and words. There were several photos throughout the article. People, places and captions that had haunted my dreams for the past year. One featured an old version of me—blond and smiling from a time before the nightmares began.

  The first photo was an image of my old white Honda, crumpled and nearly unrecognizable. The front end was smashed head-on into a wall, twisted metal against stone. The scene flashed before my eyes in vibrant colors and sounds that briefly brought the memory of that horrible night back to life.

  My eyes scanned away from that picture and towards the first face. The black and white image hid the brilliant blue eyes that were still so clear in my memory. Even though I hadn’t seen this face in almost a year, it was deeply ingrained within me. No matter how much time passed, it twisted my insides to look upon that face.

  With a shaky hand, I pointed to the picture.

  “Do you see this man?”

  Vance looked at the photo quickly then back to my face. “Yes.”

  “This is Gabriel.”

  His intensity burned holes right through me. “This says—”

  “I know what it says,” I nodded, unable to look away from the photo. I didn’t want to hear him say it out loud before I got a chance to tell him the rest. So I took a long, deep breath and repeated, “This was Gabriel.”

  Yes. That Gabriel.

  The third man I dated. The third man I loved. The third man who left and messed me up for good. The man I still cried out for in my sleep. The man that died and took the old Scarlett with him, along with any desire to ever fall in love again.

  That one.

  * * *

  [Past]

  Gabriel and I were seated in the lobby with our hands tied behind our backs. After disabling the security cameras, I had been forced to open the vault. Then we were placed here, far away from any panic buttons, so the masked man could fill his sacks. All we could do now was sit and wait.

  Gabriel was doing his best to comfort me, saying everything was going to be okay. I wanted to believe him so I tried to control my emotions. The man would just take the money and run. We hadn’t seen his face. We weren’t being difficult. He had no reason to hurt us.

  Despite trying my hardest to think practically, I still couldn’t calm down.

  Seeing a gun held to Gabriel’s head was the most terrifying thing I’d ever experienced in my entire life. As if it had been carved into my eyelids, I couldn’t shake the horrific visual. I couldn’t stop thinking about ‘what if.’ What if he had actually done it? What if he still would?

  The tragic scenario of losing Gabriel played over and over in my mind. I was in love with this man. His life could end tonight. And the only reason why Gabriel was here was because of me.

  “I’m so sorry, Gabriel,” I said in a broken voice.

  He looked perplexed. “What are you sorry for?”

  “If anything were to happen to you… because of me…” Pained and unable to finish that thought, I sagged.

  “You listen to me,” he whispered, and I lifted my eyes again. “None of this is your fault. None of it. If my whole life were to pass without ever having the chance to hold you… that would be the real tragedy. I need you to be brave, Scarlett. I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”

  I looked him in the eyes and nodded. “I trust you, Gabriel. It’s just, my heart couldn’t take it if I lost you.”

  He swallowed. “Nor mine, sweet girl. Never, ever doubt that.” He looked away for a second, took a deep breath. “That’s why you have my word… You’re going to walk away from this, Scarlett Rossi. You’re going to graduate, you’re going to write something that will change lives, you’re going to make friends, get married, and have babies. Just don’t let Lexi be their godmother. She’ll corrupt them all.” His warm British enunciation cradled me since currently his arms could not.

  His words were meant to assure me. But I also heard what he didn’t say… maybe I would walk away tonight, but what about him?

  Please Gabriel, I thought, and looked deeply into his eyes, I’m not ready to say goodbye. Please don’t do something crazy to save me.

  We sat there for another minute, when in a stroke of luck, an old man slowly sauntered along the sidewalk. He stopped with his back to us while his little dog sniffed a patch of grass in front of the building entrance.

  Gabriel and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance. This was our chance! If this man could see us, he would call the police, and we could have a chance at getting out of here alive!

  “Don’t do it, love,” Gabriel whispered, reading my mind.

  No time to talk it over. I risked a quick glance towards the vault door. The gunman was nowhere in sight. I scooted over a few feet and started waving a leg frantically in the air, trying to get the old man’s attention. I couldn’t make any noise. But if he could just see me, it would be enough.

  “Stop,” Gabriel warned. “He’s coming back. He’s going to see you.”

  The old man turned. Our stares locked. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of me and Gabriel locked in the dark bank with our hands tied behind us. I poured all the pleading in my expression. Help, I mouthed. Police. Call the police.

  The old man dug in his coat pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He fumbled a bit as he turned it on and pushed those three life-saving buttons. Hope fluttered in my chest. Help would be on the way soon. We would be okay. Gabriel would be okay.

  In the next instant, a thousand things happened at once. There was an explosion so loud, so intense,
that everything inside me rattled to my core. A scream tore from my throat as the entire room reverberated with one deafening bang. Then another.

  When I opened my eyes again, my breath faltered. Shards of glass were scattered around us on the floor. The store window was destroyed.

  But the worst of it was the man on his knees on the pavement. Unable to look away, I watched as he clutched his chest, released a garbled sound, then fell forward in a heap.

  I stared in horror at the motionless body less than five yards away. I kept waiting for him to move, some sort of proof that he wasn’t actually…

  He was only trying to help us. And it happened so fast. One second he was here, and the next…

  The little scruffy dog peeked out from behind a bush, only to find his master lying on the ground in a puddle of red. He dragged his limp leash as he trotted over to him and sniffed. With a tiny little whine, he laid down right next to man and rested its head on his body.

  There was something so devastating about the sound that dog made. For the first time since the masked man had appeared tonight, I started to cry.

  They were my very last innocent tears.

  And then I turned and saw another image that would be burned into my screwed up brain for the rest of my life.

  It was the blue-eyed angel sitting next to me… holding the smoking gun.

  * * *

  [Present]

  Confusion marring his features, Vance looked down at the article, then back up to me. “This says his name is Gavin Lockwood.”

  “When I first met him, he told me his name was Gabriel.”

  From the very beginning he had been lying to me. Manipulating me. Choosing such an angelic name was no accident. I had fallen for it completely. I even remembered thinking he was my guardian angel. Oh how wrong I had been.

  “But… I thought Gabriel—”

  “That’s right… Introducing evil ex-boyfriend number three.”

  Understanding dawned and Vance’s face fell. It was probably the same expression I wore when I finally figured it out, too. Horror and disbelief. Vance buried all ten fingers in the back of his hair and hung his head. “Oh, no,” he said, shaking it back and forth. “Oh, shit.”

  * * *

  [Past]

  “…Gabriel?” I whispered. It was automatic—being scared and reaching out to him for comfort. Even in that moment, if he had looked me in the eye and swore he was only trying to protect me, I would have believed him. All the pieces were there in front of me, yet I was deliberately refusing to put them together. It was like my mind couldn’t grasp what it was seeing. It didn’t want to accept such a cruel twist.

  The masked man came running into the lobby carrying a heavy sack over his shoulder. He looked at the glass shattered at our feet and the lifeless body lying in front of the store. “What the hell, G!”

  “We’re done here,” Gabriel said, voice flat. He climbed to his feet in one smooth motion. For some reason, the thing that stood out to me were his hands… they had never even been tied. “Let’s get the hell out before the cops show.”

  “We gotta waste her now,” the masked man said, striding towards me and lifting his weapon.

  “No,” Gabriel demanded, his own gun aimed at the other man. His whole demeanor was so much colder than I’d ever seen it before. There was the same threat, the same command in one word that he used towards those frat boys in the field. I hadn’t been afraid of him that day. Now, I was terrified. “That was not the plan.”

  “Screw the plan! She’s figured it out now, mate. She can identify you.”

  “She’s an innocent.”

  “Shoulda thought of that before you pulled your gun.”

  Gabriel scowled at him, then at me.

  I should have been pleading for my life. I should have been running for cover. I should have been fighting back, even though I didn’t have a glimmer of hope in overtaking two armed men. But I should have been doing something—anything other than remaining cemented to the ground like a sitting duck. Everything was hitting me at once and it was too much, too fast. I needed a minute for my brain to process what was going on here. I just needed a damn minute.

  Slowly, Gabriel shifted the gun towards me. I couldn’t bring myself to focus on the weapon in his hand. It blurred into the foreground. Like always, all I saw was him.

  I looked straight up into his eyes, trying to make sense of everything. He had the same beautiful blues. Same flawless face. Was this the same British gentleman who had clothed me in his own shirt at a party? Who danced with me? Who came to my rescue in the field? Who wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day tonight and kissed me like a lover? Who looked me in the eyes and promised to protect me with his life, mere minutes earlier?

  It just didn’t make sense. None of it made any sense.

  “Out,” Gabriel whispered.

  “Not until you do it,” the first gunner responded. “It’s not just you this time, G, this’ll come back to both of us.”

  Gabriel’s arm was rigid, outstretched in my direction. Every second that ticked by pounded like a drum inside my ears, counting down like a time bomb set to destruct. Five seconds. Four. My racing pulse kept the tempo in double-time. In my catatonic state I didn’t even flinch at the sound of the gun cocking. So much for watching my life flash before my eyes. The moment passed by in slow motion, agonizingly clear, yet I couldn’t form a single thought except for descending numbers. Three seconds. Two… “Do it! I’m not going back to prison for her so fucking do it already!”

  I couldn’t say for sure what emotion I was experiencing right then. It was a jumble of everything at once: panic, fear, disbelief. They were all there hidden under the surface, but I wasn’t really feeling any of them. I was stuck in a horrifying paralysis. Numb. Dangerously close to passing out.

  Gabriel had sworn to keep me safe. He gave me his word. Now, my fate was resting in his hands, and still I believed him. I felt in my gut he wouldn’t pull that trigger. He would get us out of this… whatever insane situation he had gotten us into. Perhaps I was putting entirely too much trust in the man standing at the other end of the gun. But he was my only hope, and at this point, hope was my only option.

  Gabriel’s jaw clenched and his eyes pinched shut. His shoulders rose and fell with each heavy breath. He was hesitating. He didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to shoot me. And for some reason, that only confused me more.

  What was going to happen to me now?

  Then we all heard it far off in the distance.

  Sirens.

  * * *

  [Present]

  “He stalked me,” I confessed into the dark. “The police found evidence that he had been watching me for at least three months before we first met. Photos. Class schedules. Names of my old friends and exes, places I frequently went. Scanned images of my journal. He stole my effing journal and studied it so that he could become the man of my dreams and gain my trust. I never even remember it missing.” I shook my head. “How we met… I don’t even know how much of it was orchestrated. The police seem to believe he never intended us to meet. Their original plan was probably just to observe my habits and overpower me at the bank when I was alone. Easy target.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “At a college party. Some drunk chick dumped her beer on me. I was wearing white, you could see everything. He told her off and offered me his shirt. His own shirt… Then, there were these guys at school…” I gulped at the memory.

  Vance watched me with a clenched jaw. “What guys?”

  “Frat guys. From a class. At first they were just teasing me. Then I was alone, and they surrounded me… if Gabriel hadn’t shown up…”

  I could feel him fuming beside me. “At your school? How could this happen?”

  “I was a doormat, Vance. A pushover. Bad guys love to take advantage of people like that. Why do you think I changed my entire appearance?”

  “Did you tell someone?”

  I bit my lip. Not right away
, I hadn’t. It should have been a clue when Gabriel hadn’t insisted I do that.

  “The police talked to all of them after they opened the investigation. They determined it wasn’t orchestrated. One of them even had a broken arm to show for it. But then why would he intervene? Especially that first night at the party. It was embarrassing, sure, but was it worth blowing his cover? That second time, with the guys… I don’t even know what would have happened to me if he didn’t show up. But I’m not sorry he did. It seemed like he always popped up when I needed him. But that wasn’t a coincidence. Because he was always there. He was always fucking there.

  “After that day in the field he was around more regularly. The police think that’s when they switched their strategy. He became the perfect boyfriend. He bought me lattes, texted me every night—from an unregistered cell phone, walked with me between classes, took me to the beach… After less than a month, I was falling in love with him. I should have known it was too good to be true.”

  “How could you have known?” Vance mollified. “He was a con artist. Obsessed with greed… obsessed with you.”

  I blinked. “Do you know why he picked me, Vance?”

  He stared at me while he contemplated my question. After a full minute of silence, he shook his head.

  “Because I was a weak, naïve little girl with the key to a cash vault.”

  * * *

  [Past]

  His blue eyes were no longer warm, but cold and emotionless as they ricocheted around the room, calculating. Unaffected by the destruction, they took in the man laying dead in a pool of his own blood. The disabled cameras. The sacks of money the masked man had gathered.

  Then they landed on me.

  “The girl comes with us,” he ordered, shoving the gun into his waistband.

  “No,” I cried where I sat, not so much out of refusal, but out of fear. They were supposed to just take the money and leave. All I could do was tremble helplessly as hot tears burned trails down my cheeks. “Please Gabriel!” I sobbed, desperate for him to make this all go away.