I Hate You, Love Me

by Jamie Knight

The apartment was just a few blocks from campus. Walking distance. Jimmy, the landlord, was a kind, older guy. He had a bit of a pot belly and a long golden pony-tail on the back of his balding head. He was nice enough and didn’t seem scary.

  He led me down about five stairs on the side of his house. The basement apartment had its own entrance. He unlocked the door and let me step inside before him. It was only about 400 square feet. One tiny room with a kitchenette at one end, a lone closet, and one other door leading to the bathroom. The walls were dingy white plaster with a few cracks.

  I wandered over and looked into the bathroom. Oddly, it had a claw-foot bath tub. It was definitely old, but still elegant. I would have to get a shower curtain. Everything was old and dusty, but functioning. It would do.

  “Well, this is it,” said Jimmy, when I walked back over to him. “It’s not much. Just my basement, with a bathroom and kitchenette. What kind of rent were you looking at?”

  “Oh, well, your flyer said $400,” I mentioned.

  “You must’ve gotten the older flyer,” he said. “Everyone raised their prices at the beginning of the semester and so did I. It’s $600 a month now.”

  “Sure, it’s fine,” I lied. “I’ll take it. When can I move in?”

  “Hold up,” he said. “Do you have a job? Where do you work?”

  “I’m a full-time student. I get money from my parents and I’m going to get a job,” I explained.

  “You mean you hope you get a job,” corrected Jimmy. “Look, you seem like a nice kid, but I don’t want to get in a situation where you can’t pay me. I’ve got another person coming to see this place in just a few minutes. If he’s unemployed, then maybe you can have it. But if not, sorry. Unless you can provide proof of employment or your parents sign the lease…”

  “I’ll get the money. I swear,” I said, clearly begging. “Please. I need this place.”

  There was a knock at the door.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “There’s the other possible tenant.”

  “Can I talk to him? Please,” I begged.

  “I’d rather you not,” he said. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  On my way out, I opened the door.

  Of course, it was Seth. This is what my life had become. Running into Seth at every possible juncture.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “Seth, I need this place,” I answered.

  “I need it too,” he said. “My father can’t afford the fee for the dorms anymore.”

  Jimmy ushered me out and shut the door. I walked down the street a bit and decided to wait just out of sight.

  I had to convince Seth not to rent this place, but he probably would. Did his parents have more money for rent then mine? I doubted it, but they could.

  Sitting on the curb between two parked cars, I was mostly hidden. I tried to figure out what else I could do. Going home was a non-starter. My social life would be over. I’d essentially be biding my time until I graduated and then I’d probably spend the next year trying to apply for a job, so I could move into my own place. My mother seemed very determined to keep me in her sphere of influence. I couldn’t stand that. I needed this apartment.

  I glanced over into one of the basement’s windows. I could see Seth and Jimmy looking around. Seth was nodding. He definitely looked like he was going to take the apartment away from me. I had to convince him otherwise. Heck, I’d have sex with him again if that’s what it took. I already had sex with him once, what’s one more time at this point, right?

  Maybe I’d get lucky. Maybe he’d just walk away and decide to go live somewhere else.

  Chapter Twelve

  Seth

  Jimmy was showing me the tiny apartment, but all I could think about was Tina. The way she blushed at me when she looked into my eyes, the way she made that noise of surprise and the way she walked away. Dammit. I let my dick do the talking and now it’s totally into her. Thankfully, my brain was still making sense, but they were duking it out constantly now.

  All this was thundering in my thoughts as Jimmy was showing me the space. The basement was honestly a bit of a letdown. I mean, I could make it work, but it was old and needed painting and some other upkeep to make it cozy.

  “Okay, I’ll take it,” I said to Jimmy. “$400 a month, right?”

  “Nah, sorry. $600 now,” said Jimmy. “That was the old price.”

  “What? Why did you raise it?” I asked.

  “It’s demand,” he said. “Sorry. The girl that just left wants this place real bad. I have to give it to the person that offers me the most money. It’s only fair.”

  “Fair to who?” I argued.

  “Fair to me,” said Jimmy. “I’ll rent this place to which ever of you can give me the most money. Or feel free to share the apartment and split the rent. Makes no difference to me.”

  “Well, the thing is, Jimmy,” I said, trying not to get pissed. “This place is much too small for two people.”

  “You could make it work,” said Jimmy determined. “And, the rent is $650 now. If you can’t afford that alone, maybe she can.”

  “She can’t,” I countered. “Her parents are just as broke as mine.”

  “Fine, dude,” scoffed Jimmy. “Then share the apartment with her. Rent’s $700 now, that will be $350 for each of you.”

  “Fine!” I said. Every time I argued with Jimmy, he raised the rent. I couldn’t have him go higher. “I’ll be right back,” I said, rushing outside.

  I ran up the stairs and started looking through the numbers in my phone. At some point, I had gotten Tina’s number and used it to text her to turn down her music, not that it worked. I dialed, and I immediately heard a phone ring not 50 feet away. Looking toward the direction of the noise, I found Tina sitting on the curb. I hung up and rushed over to her.

  “Hello?” said Tina into her phone and then looked puzzled.

  “Hey Tina,” I said, next to her, reaching for her and guiding her to her feet. “Come on, I need you.”

  “Wait, what?” she asked, pulling her hands out of mine.

  I grabbed her hand again and rushed Tina inside. Jimmy was waiting for us.

  “Let go of me,” she whispered.

  “See, here she is,” I said to Jimmy. “We are totally fine with splitting rent and sharing this apartment.”

  Tina looked at me, her blue eyes wide. “Wait, what?!”

  “So, you guys want to rent the apartment together?” asked Jimmy. “You’re going to split the $700 rent?”

  Tina looked at Jimmy aghast. She roared, “$700? Together? What?!”

  “I told you,” I said, looking at Jimmy. “We are fine with that arrangement. Just don’t tell that to our parents okay?”

  “They’re not going to show up here and cause drama, are they?” asked Jimmy, with a frown.

  “Uh, no. No-no,” said Tina. “If anyone asks, just tell them that you are renting to one of us and we would totally like to rent this place together.”

  “Okay, whatever,” shrugged Jimmy. “You two are kooky, but for $700 a month in this place, kook it up all you like. Stay here. I’ll go get the paperwork.”

  I exhaled as Jimmy left the basement apartment and went up to his house. Tina turned to me, shocked.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she whispered. “I can’t live here with you.”

  “He was going to have us bid against each other and he kept raising the rent. There’s no way I could’ve afforded it. I can’t afford it now,” I confessed. “Can you come up with half?”

  “Yeah, but, I can’t live with you,” she said, glaring at me.

  “What are you worried about?” I sneered. “We already had sex. Just sleeping in the room together is a huge step down at this point.”

  “Step down? What’s that supposed to mean?” she hissed. She crossed her arms over her full chest.

  I rolled my eyes. “You know what I meant. Sex is awesome. Having to watch a roommate floss her teeth is not as
awesome,” I explained. “Do you need a map to explain everything?”

  “You are a jerk,” she whispered. “You think you’re so smart. I should just walk out of here.”

  “Go ahead,” I retorted, and waved my hand towards the door. “You’re not going to a find a place even close to this cheap,” I insisted. “I’ve been all over town and this is it. So, you’d better just get used to me.”

  Jimmy came back downstairs with the paperwork and we both went back to our fake smiles. After filling out the forms, I shook hands with Jimmy and he gave us a key.

  “I’m afraid you’ll have to get another key made,” he said. “I only got one set. But there’s a hardware store a few blocks down.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “We’ll be by with our furniture tomorrow.”

  We got outside. I was pretty happy with the way things went, but Tina was not. We started walking toward the hardware store.

  “What did we do? What did we do?” she whined. “My mother’s going to freak if she finds out I’m living with a boy.”

  “Don’t tell her,” I dismissed, stretching my arms behind my back. “My parents won’t be back on campus until the end of the semester. We’ll plan our return trips back home and make sure only one of us is on the curb when we leave. Then, next year, we’ll just get a different place. By then, one of us will have an internship or job.”

  “Well, that does sound like a reasonable plan,” she admitted and then turned to glare at me. “But no funny business.”

  “Again, we already had sex,” I reminded her, rolling my eyes. “I don’t know why I have to keep saying that.”

  “I don’t know!” she said in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. “It’s just that I have my mother’s voice inside my head telling me I’m worthless without a man and now I’m going straight to hell.”

  “Well, I got my dad’s voice telling me to never get married and never trust women because they’re worthless,” I confessed. “Plus, I got a couple of other voices that I’m not sure I should listen to.”

  “Are you being serious?” she asked.

  “Kind of. Look, you must’ve had the $400 a month,” I concluded. “Now you have an extra fifty dollars every month to spend on food or whatever.”

  “Oh, my gosh, I didn’t even think of that,” she realized and grinned. “We’re going to have to buy all kinds of stuff. Toiletries, dishes, glasses. Where are we going to get it all?”

  “I know a thrift store,” I offered. “They have everything and it’s all cheap.”

  But Tina just stood there, silent, staring into the distance with this mix of sad and mad on her face.

  “What is your problem?” I snapped. “You wanted to get away from your parents and now you are. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  “Yeah,” she sighed, exasperated. “One of the benefits was going to be I wouldn’t have to live below you. Now I’m living with you.”

  “We were practically living together in the dorms anyway,” I said. “At least now you won’t be able to have any loud parties.”

  “And you won’t be able to have any girls over,” she smiled and stuck her tongue out.

  I hadn’t thought of that. That was going to be tough, but I could make it happen. She’ll get restless and go party with one of her friends, I’ll sneak some girl back to the apartment. Plus, it’s not like Tina could get mad at me. She’d be forced to make an excuse unless she wanted to leave the apartment.

  “Why are you smiling?” asked Tina suspiciously.

  “Nothing,” I said. “I just remembered how clever I am.”

  “Uh-huh,” she said suspiciously.

  We arrived at the hardware store and made another set of keys. Tina started looking at curtains and other things in the home improvement aisle.

  “What color curtains should we get?” she asked, but then looked at the price tag. “Oh, never mind.” She looked very disappointed.

  I scoffed. “Just relax. There’ll be plenty of time to buy all this crap later. It might go on sale. We’re only a two block walk away.”

  “Okay,” she relented. “Are you sure you don’t want to look at paint swatches while we’re here?”

  “No.” I said. “Why would I?”

  “Because I thought you would want to paint the place,” she assumed. “It’s so dingy. I just wanted to look at colors. We don’t have to buy.”

  “Can we move into the place first?” I said, mildly annoyed.

  “Fine-fine,” she said. “I just want a say in the decorating. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “Yes, okay,” I said annoyed. “I promise I won’t paint without consulting you. Who cares, anyway?”

  “I care,” she said glaring at me. “This is going to be our home.”

  “Oh, my God,” I said, burying my head in my hand. “You’re already taking this way too seriously.”

  “Well, don’t you want the place to look nice?”

  “For what?”

  “In case we have guests.”

  “You said, you didn’t want your parents to know we were there and who are we going to invite?” I snapped. “You don’t even like me.”

  “I just want a couple of friends…”

  “No. No, parties,” I insisted. “You can’t blast music like you did in the dorms. Jimmy will never put up with it and even if he does, the neighbors would call the cops.”

  “You think?”

  “Uh, do I think that if you put speakers in the window and blast music at top volume that lame and stressed-out suburbanites won’t call the cops? People like that call the cops for far less. That’s a no-brainer.”

  “People like music,” she insisted. “It’s not foregone that they’d call the cops. It’s not definite.”

  “That is the single most definite thing I know to be true,” I insisted. “If you blasted the music at even one quarter of the volume you did before, you’re going to be arrested.”

  “You’d bail me out, right? I won’t be able to call my parents.”

  “Or how about we don’t do it, at all?” I snapped. “Maybe you could do something crazy, like go to class and learn something?”

  “All right, fine,” she said. “If you’re going to be weird about it, I’ll just drop the subject.”

  “I’m being weird?” I said mildly outraged, following her out of the hardware store.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tina

  You cannot imagine the song and dance I had to do to borrow my parents’ car the next day. First, I had to tell my parents about the apartment, but with a twist. I had to convince them that my girlfriends were going to help me move in. Of course, that was a lie because I didn’t even want my girlfriends to know I was living with Seth. They were far too chatty to keep that secret.

  Basically, I had to do all the moving myself. I pulled up to the house, grabbed some boxes, locked the car doors and went into the basement. As I opened the door, at the bottom of the rickety stairs, I heard Seth start to say something from inside. The front door hit a ladder which I didn’t see behind it and a bucket of white paint landed right on my head.

  “Oh, my God!” I gasped as the white gooey paint coated my hair and flowed down my shoulders. “Seth. What the hell?!”

  “Oh. Sorry,” said Seth turning around from the kitchenette. “Jimmy said I could paint. You said you wanted to do it, so…”

  “Great. Just great!” I ranted, dropping the box I was carrying onto the floor.

  I rushed into the bathroom, left my ruined clothes in a heap on the tile and got into the shower. Fortunately, it was a water-based paint. Since it was still very wet, it washed right off. When I got out of the shower, I realized there were no towels in the bathroom. Plus, I had no dry clothes, they were all in the car.

  Walking over to the bathroom door, I stuck my head out and called Seth. Unfortunately, he had his earbuds in and was painting. He was rocking along but was blasting the music so loud he couldn’t hear me yell at him. I even tried to wave m
y arms at him, but he never noticed. He just kept painting.

  Finally, I got fed up. Nude and dripping wet, I walked into the room, marched to one of the boxes I had dropped. Finding a towel, I started to dry myself off. About halfway through the process, I realized that Seth was now staring at me. I some point he must’ve gotten a glimpse and then completely turned around.

  “Like what you see?” I asked snidely.

  He stared dumbly at me. It was like there was some internal struggle going on in his brain or something. His gaze was hot on my bare skin. Then I did something I didn’t ever expect I would do or could do. I turned, faced him fully and squared my shoulders. Then I dropped the towel.

  I know, it sounds crazy, but Seth kept staring at me. He was like a hungry dog seeing a bowl of food. He wanted me and wanted me bad. I can’t say I didn’t want him back.

  Having sex with him felt awesome. Would it be great again? Part of the little voice inside my head became my mother, calling me a whore. But still, there was another part that demanded that I ignore him completely. The part that remembered seeing his hips pummel into that unknown girl on his floor, all those years ago.

  But it was the loudest voice won out. It was the voice that said, “Live your life. Do what you want. Take him.”

  Seth rushed over to me and started kissing me like a rabid animal. I was so turned on. The second time was already better than the first. I was moving according to where I wanted him to touch me. Seth was experienced, he knew what to do. I pulled his face down to my breasts and he licked at my nipples and squeezed them with his hands. He wasn’t rough but was gentle. He squeezed them firmly, but not too hard.

  I felt Seth’s strength along his whole body. I wanted him to take over and dominate me. I wanted to feel totally helpless in his arms. Therein was the rub. I was trusting him, even though I kinda didn’t like him. There was a danger there that he would just stop or hurt me or tell me he loved me. It was that uncertainty that kept me wet.

  He started taking off his clothes, not wanting to let his mouth move from my breasts. Pulling down his pants and underwear, he quickly kicked them away. I look down and I could see his cock. I couldn’t really see it before in the dark the first time, just feel it. It was long and veiny and hard. I wanted to touch it.