I Hate You, Love Me

by Jamie Knight

  “Hello, Amanda,” I say gratefully. “Thank you for having me.”

  I need to work on adding personality to my words. I’ll get to that once I know exactly what my personality is.

  “And this is… Well, this is Cassie Prichard,” Charles says.

  I wave at the goddess I wish I could scoop up into my arms and carry to bed with me, but Cassie is a bit standoffish. She does manage to nod in my general direction.

  “Hi Devon,” she says.

  “Nice to meet you, Cassie,” I say.

  It seems like she scoffs slightly. It also seems like such a strange reaction. I would expect someone who is talking to a victim of amnesia for the first time to have a little bit of sympathy.

  Not that I need it. But still... It’s almost like there is some resentment towards me.

  “We’ll go inside and get some snacks together,” Amanda says. “In the meantime, help yourself to some fresh lemonade. And Devon, our home is your home. So please, make yourself welcome anytime you’re ready.”

  Charles and I walk up the porch and he pours two glasses from the crystal pitcher. The lemonade sparkles in the sunshine. I’m so thirsty I down half of it in one gulp. He takes notice.

  “You like it, huh?” Charles surmises.

  “It’s incredible,” I say.

  “Well, I will say that it has always been a favorite of yours,” Charles reveals. “You’re always asking her to make it. Except you often request that it be spiked with vodka. Especially when we’re golfing.”

  “Dude, this is tripping me out,” I say.

  “Sorry, I imagine it might,” Charles says.

  “Yeah, if someone handed you a beer,” I start to explain, “and you drank it thinking it was the first one you’ve ever had, then you realize you’ve had that same beverage hundreds, no, thousands of times before, it would trip you out, right?”

  “Indeed,” Charles admits. “I thought it might be nice to make the correlation. But I can see your point. By the way, would you like some more?”

  My glass is now empty already.

  Man, it is really good stuff.

  “Yes, please,” I say.

  I hand my glass back to him and he fills it. I take it back and proceed to sip the lemonade, rather than chug it, so I can enjoy it more.

  “So, who is Cassie?” I ask, after a pause, unable to forget her perky tits and bubbly ass.

  “You really don’t recognize her, do you?” he asks in return.

  “Should I know her?” I say, sending a volley back. “I mean, she’s super attractive and all. Kind of distant, though. Does she know me? It seems like she might know me.”

  “You used to be neighbors and went to high school together,” Charles says. “Hell, you even went to the same church.”

  “The same church?” I laugh. “I didn’t know I’d go to church. A badass hellion thrill seeker like me?”

  Those chuckles are starting to come a little easier.

  “So, I do know her.”

  “Oh yeah, quite well,” he continues. “I think you sang a duet once during a Christmas service.”

  “I sing?” I am left incredulous by this news.

  “Apparently like a bird,” he says.

  “Is there a tape of this somewhere?” I ask.

  “We’ll have to ask your parents when they get back,” he offers.

  I was told my mom and dad are overseas in Europe in the middle of a tour of the world that they had planned to take after their retirement. They know I’m physically okay, but don’t really know the extent of my amnesia.

  Charles apparently reassured them that I wasn’t that bad and that I would be looked after until they got back. According to him, there is no need to worry. Why cut their dream trip short? I’m able to tie my shoelaces, after all.

  “Oh wow, I hope to know myself a bit better before they return,” I say. “I don’t know how I’d handle ‘20 Questions’ with them without my full faculties.”

  Speaking of answers, I want to return to the question of Cassie and me…

  “So, Cassie and I were never an item in school?” I ask. “But I guess I would have gathered that already.”

  “Hmmmm.... You never got together, from what I know,” Charles says.

  He pulls off his glasses and chews on the ear piece again.

  “That is, unless you didn’t tell me! You asshole.”

  I laugh again, which feels good.

  “Well, if you don’t know then we might never know. So, I would have been an asshole to myself, by withholding information from you in the past.”

  “That’s for sure,” Charles laughs. “That’s what you get for not telling me. But, really, I think you would have told me. We tell each other everything.”

  We never got together? Why not?

  I might not recall who she is, but she’s smoking hot and she certainly knows me. There is a smoldering connection of sorts.

  And that sense of simpatico, that feeling of magnetic, animal attraction – well, it stirs something inside me. More than just my raging sexual desire. I would think we would have gotten together in the past, but apparently we haven’t, and I guess I need to figure out why, and whether I can make it happen in the future.

  Chapter Four

  Devon

  Cassie with her supple, curvy body... I guess I love a woman who isn’t afraid to show off a bit. Her ass… It’s a crass thought to have. Maybe I can be a little rude sometimes? But only in my own thoughts, so, that’s okay, I think.

  What I would love to do to her…

  My mind drifts as I take another sip of this absolutely delicious lemonade.

  I imagine meeting Cassie in a penthouse apartment in a big city. Just inside the door she takes me by the hand and leads me to the kitchen. She has put together a plate of cheese, crackers and grapes.

  She smiles at me as she opens the fridge and grabs two bottles of beer. She opens one, then hands me the other. I sip it and watch her as she slowly wraps her sexy lips around the bottle’s opening, taking a sip herself.

  Cassie then reaches and takes a grape with her delicate and dainty fingers. She feeds me one and then takes one for herself and places it on the tip of her tongue. She slowly sucks it and bites down, the juices flowing back into her mouth.

  She then takes another grape, puts it in her mouth, holds it, and brings it to my mouth and releases it. It all feels like one motion.

  I chew it with pleasure then kiss her. Her mouth tastes delicious and I let my tongue entwine with hers. She moves back and rests her sweet ass against the counter.

  I can’t stand it any longer. I feel the bulge growing in my pants. My cock is slipping through the flap in my boxers, pressing against my trousers –– it wants to come out. She notices this and smiles coyly. We are drawn to each other.

  I put my beer bottle down and grab hers out from her grip, placing it on the counter. I press up against her, putting my hands on her hips and pulling her forward.

  My chest presses against her breasts. In this moment I can feel the beating of her heart, so strong with youth, energy and womanhood. In this moment the heat from her core radiates. I start to sweat.

  We kiss like fucking crazy. She sucks my tongue while her eyes are locked with mine. I guide her to the couch. I open the doors to the balcony and the sounds of the city below into the room. The noises are like a rhythm in synch with our movements.

  She unbuttons her blouse and releases the clasp of her bra while I pull down her skirt and panties. She is exposed now, just her naked body and her pussy laid out for me. Her tits are magnificent, complimenting her round butt.

  I want to take all of her, to feel all of her. I want to guide my hands all over her curves and bend her over on that counter and fuck her. I slide the tray off with force and it crashes to the floor. I get right behind her, placing both hands on that beautiful ass.

  She whispers how she wants to be safe. I comply and rip open a condom package and sheathe my dick. Protected, I enter h
er slowly, every inch taking its time to open her up to my will and desire. And my desire will always be for more.

  I feel her squeeze her pussy muscles and it makes me even harder, as if that was possible. She pushes back, begging me to start thrusting faster and deeper. I want it to last, but it feels like she is working to make me cum quickly.

  It’s like she has become one with the beat of the city. The noises gaining in volume as I thrust in and out, in and out, in and out.

  The load deep within my balls is building. That tightening sensation right before coming.

  She tells me to fuck her harder as she herself is about to come. And we are in synch, kissing and pounding, my cock penetrating her increasingly wet pussy.

  At the same time, we look into each other’s eyes and come together. She moans in pleasure and I let out some sort of animalistic growl. We collapse together onto the couch as the sounds of the city rise up from below.

  ***

  “Hey Devon.” A voice brings me back from the fantasy of having sex with Cassie up high in a penthouse, to the reality of Charles’s porch. “Are you still with me, buddy?”

  “Oh, forgive me, Charles. My mind was wandering,” I say. “Still not entirely sure where to, but it’s good it’s going somewhere, right?”

  That’s sort of a lie. I knew where I went to. It was a strange and vivid fantasy. It was familiar in some ways, but some things, including the sex with Cassie – well, that was new. I knew for sure I had never done that with her before.

  “I just don’t want to see you all catatonic,” Charles says. “We thought we’d lost you once already. I don’t want to go through that a second time.”

  “I promise to stick around,” I say, as if that’s a promise I’m capable of keeping.

  “Okay, good.”

  He sounds reassured, so I’m relieved that my unrealistic promise worked. I definitely don’t want to worry him.

  I think it’s best if I change the subject. It’s starting to feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward out here on the porch.

  “You know, this lemonade is indeed delicious, but do you have something harder?” I ask. “You had mentioned I like this spiked?”

  Charles perks up. “Hey, that’s the Devon I know. Let’s go inside and see what the ladies are up to and get you an adult beverage.”

  We walk through the front door and into a more contemporary setting — all soft beiges with gray-beige, otherwise known as ‘greige’. It’s obviously designed to help make the home look more inviting. And I do feel welcome here.

  Amanda and Cassie are in the kitchen. There is a Scandinavian look to it —washed out oaks and with white walls. There is a big island in the middle, complete with stools you can sit at and talk to people while they cook or make drinks. And that is what I need now: a drink.

  “You want your usual?” Charles asks.

  He frowns quickly, as if realizing I wouldn’t know what my usual is.

  “Oh shit, I’m sorry, buddy.”

  “No worries,” I say, letting him off the hook.

  I try to search deep in my mind for what my usual drink might be, but it hasn’t been retrieved from my memory yet.

  “Surprise me,” I say.

  “You got it,” he says.

  Charles heads over to the wet bar and gets to work. Amanda and Cassie already have drinks. They move to the counter and pull out two bar stools to watch Charles do his thing.

  “What are you two drinking?” I ask, as I walk over to them.

  “These are mojitos with fresh lime and mint,” Amanda says, while taking a sip.

  “Looks good,” I tell them.

  “Those are frou-frou drinks, Devon,” Charles says, laughing while getting some ice from the refrigerator. “I got yours coming up and it’ll put hair on your chest.”

  Charles returns with two glasses filled with brown liquid and a few cubes of ice.

  “Two Manhattans,” he proclaims. “Canadian Club, sweet vermouth and bitters. A real old school beverage.”

  I lift it up to my nose to smell it. It burns my nostrils, but in a good way.

  “Say something!” Amanda declares.

  “I typically give long-winded toasts,” Charles begins, “but all I really have to say is welcome back to the land of the living, Devon.”

  We all clink our glasses together. Even Cassie does so, albeit rather reluctantly. What exactly is her deal?

  Amanda taps her toes.

  “Mmmm-hmmm. What was that?”

  “Oh, well apparently that wasn’t a good enough toast,” Charles says, and lets out a chuckle.

  “Not in the slightest, my love,” Amanda teases.

  Charles laughs louder and raises his glass again.

  “Devon, you might not know it yet, but you are the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  He takes a moment and gets a little more sentimental.

  “Your accident was a call to action to make sure we live every moment to the fullest. We just don’t know when, well, you know… when things might end. We never want them to, but in that certainty of the uncertain, every day is a gift. We need to use that time wisely. So, that all being said, and being a bit mushier than I wanted it to be, I wish you much success on your road to a speedy recovery. We are here for you, buddy! No matter what.”

  A more serious and heartfelt tone fills the room. Amanda and Charles both nod to each other and take a sip of their drinks. Cassie, however, seems a little more contemplative and barely gets the glass to her mouth. Then she takes a big sip, so much so that she has to wipe her lips of the excess liquid.

  It’s so hot when she does that. I wish I could be alone with her right about now. Too bad she doesn’t seem to be too into that idea, for whatever reason.

  Amanda comes up and gives me a big hug.

  Charles fist bumps me.

  Cassie finishes her drink, looking uncomfortable at our displays of affection.

  “Amanda, can we make another round of mojitos?” she asks, a light pink blush tinting her cheeks.

  Amanda seems a little surprised. She looks down at her own drink — it’s still three-fourths full.

  “Uh, well, I can make you one. Unless you want to attempt it?” she says.

  Cassie takes a moment to think. It appears she doesn’t want to come across as too pushy. She goes from looking serious to having a smile spread across that cute face, showing off her dimple even more.

  “You know what? I’m going to get another lemonade and pace myself,” she says, as if finally deciding.

  “I think it’s still out there on the porch,” Charles tells her.

  “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

  She walks slowly towards the front entrance of the house.

  “So, Cassie is staying here?” I ask, when she is out of listening range.

  “Yes, she has some job opportunities in the area,” Amanda says. “And her daughter Alice is with her, but she’s taking a nap in the bedroom.”

  “Oh, that’s cool,” I say, surprised to find out she has a kid. “I hope everything works out for her here.”

  “You really don’t know who she is?” Amanda asks, with a frown.

  “Amanda, we have to give Devon some time,” Charles interjects.

  “My apologies, Devon,” Amanda says.

  “No worries at all,” I say. “I’m still trying to figure this all out too.”

  I can’t stop my curiosity, though. I feel that Amanda must have some clues as to whatever happened in the past with Cassie.

  Clearly, something happened and Devon doesn’t want Amanda to talk about it. But he can’t protect me from bad news forever. I’m determined to find out these things for myself.

  “But what were you about to say?” I prod.

  Just then, though, Cassie comes back in with a glass of lemonade, stops, takes a sip, and then seems to sense that something might be up.

  “Why is everyone so quiet? What did I miss?” she asks.

  “We were just talking with Devon f
or a bit about his accident,” Charles says, as if in an effort to steer the discussion back on course. “And how it’s going to take time for him to remember things and we need to be understanding.”

  She gives me a funny look. I am not so sure about her. She almost looks angry at me. Her pretty green eyes shoot some glares at me. But then she seems to lighten up a little, with even a dash of sarcasm thrown in.

  “Hmph. I know all about wanting to forget selective things,” she says.

  Amanda lights up.

  “Ooooooh, what was that movie we watched?” she asks Cassie.

  “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?” Cassie offers up.

  “That’s it!” Amanda says. “Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, I think. So deep! But he wanted some memories erased, right?”

  Cassie looks at me as if waiting for me to say something. Amanda is paused in thought, probably trying to remember the details from the movie so she can add more to the mix.

  Charles takes a long sip from his drink. He probably wants to move on from this subject, yet remains patient. It’s as if he knows it isn’t worth offering an opinion either way right now, but that it’s instead best to ride it out.

  “We’ll have to have a movie night and watch it,” I suggest.

  “Great idea!” Amanda exclaims. “We’re letting that 70-inch TV go to waste as it is. We’ll pick a night and get popcorn and everything –– it’ll be fun!”

  I look over into the living area and there is indeed a 70-inch TV hanging above a fireplace. The sitting area looks super comfy, with two big black leather couches in an L formation, ottoman and recliner.

  I want to go over right now, plop right down, and watch a TV show about doctors. Wait, maybe I’ll pick something else to watch instead. I have already have too many doctors on the brain.

  “Truly a great idea,” Charles says. “So, movie night this Friday?”

  “Sounds awesome,” I reply.

  Maybe it’ll give me the chance to get to know Cassie better. And to figure out why she doesn’t seem to be my biggest fan.