I Hate You, Love Me

by Jamie Knight

  He’s a lot of hard lines and sharp edges, but they’re beautiful on him. I’d love to just touch his face for hours, running my hands all over his skin.

  I’m beginning to think I really could marry him – like for real, for real, if I got the chance to know him even better. We’ve only spent two days together – barely – but, I don’t know, it kind of just works. I feel like it works.

  He’s not the most talkative or warmest person ever, he’s so serious, but as far as I can tell, he’s always noble. And there have been moments when he’s shown a more affectionate side of himself.

  That’s another reason why I was giggling in the bathroom. I hadn’t expected him to kiss my neck like that.

  Maybe Brent was right when he said that Robert needs some time to warm up to me.

  Could it be possible that over the year that we’re married, we could get closer?

  We have that contract that we’ll need to fax over later. I’m sure Robert wants out of this insane arrangement as soon as he can, but that doesn’t make me think any less of him since it is what I promised him.

  Also, as I’m thinking about what a good person Robert is, I star to realize that it doesn’t make sense that he would cheat off my exam. My first thought had been that he had done it because I knew I hadn’t, but what if something else is going on here?

  But what else could it be? There’s nothing I can think of at the moment – I’ll need more time to think on it.

  Now it’s my turn, and I repeat my vows.

  “And now you may kiss the bride,” the officiant says.

  I turn to Robert, and he turns to me. He kisses me, and I practically melt into him. It’s probably not great that he has such an effect on me, but I like how it feels too much to be willing for it to stop.

  We’re shuttled away from the alter after our kiss and given our marriage certificate, which means the two of us are officially married. I put it inside the bag I came with, in order to keep it safe.

  Since there’s nothing else for us to do inside the chapel, we go outside. I don’t know if I feel any different as a married woman. Maybe it would be more… life-changing if I had married for other reasons.

  I do like Robert – and maybe in another lifetime this whole thing could have worked out like that – but this does feel rushed, but it’s the only way for it to go.

  We get outside, and I notice that the two of us are still holding hands. I don’t know when it started – probably when Elvis pronounced us man and wife and we celebrated by holding our hands up in the air and letting out loud noises while walking down the aisle – but I think we’ve been doing it for a while.

  Admittedly, I like it.

  His hand feels strong and warm and sure in mine.

  I feel safe with him.

  “What do we do know?” I ask Robert.

  We’re in Vegas, we’re legally married, and that’s as far as I thought this thing through. There are so many possibilities in a city like this, I guess.

  “Why don’t we get a hotel room?” Robert suggests.

  I’m a little surprised by his suggestion. I know what it would mean if we were to get a room – we’d probably have sex again. That’s something I’m all for, but, in reality, I think we’re supposed to dislike one another.

  I’ve come to realize I like him, but I’m still not sure how he feels about me. He’s been gentle and sweet, but then he’s also been cold and distant. Even with all this confusion going on inside my head, I still want to sleep with him again.

  “Okay, I like that idea,” I say, agreeing to his suggestion.

  There’s probably something nice nearby. I check my phone and see there’s a place just two blocks over, so I tell Robert and he’s okay with it. Since it’s so close, we choose to walk over.

  My spine tingles as I wonder what fate has in store for us next.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Robert

  As we’re walking over to the nearby hotel, I start to feel a kind of panic over what we just did. Savannah keeps asking me how I was feeling and if I was ready. I always say yes – and I mean it – but now that the deed is done, the weight of being married is on my shoulders.

  My parents always made such a big deal about getting married. How, when you got married, you’d better make sure it’s for life.

  I know they would be disappointed if they knew what was going on – that I had gotten married for what amounted to money. Sometimes, I have trouble rectifying that I’ve done this. But then I have to remember that I really was desperate. If I hadn’t done this, I’d have lost my entire opportunity to go to med school and have the career I want.

  I don’t really want to think about my slip in morals, so I try to put it out of my mind. I look down and realize that Savannah is still holding my hand. I smirk, wondering if she has realized the same thing.

  It’s weird, being this close to her. I can’t believe we slept together. The sex is amazing and I look at it like a crack in decorum.

  At this point, I have to admit to myself that I’d been dreaming about her for so long. I’d assumed that I had gotten her out of my system and that the rest of this marriage would go forward without another instance, but, then, we ran into that ‘friend’ of hers and I got all caught up in myself again.

  I had even less control the second time around. She had told me I could do whatever I wanted to her, but – I don’t know, maybe I went too far. She’s so fucking hot, though. How could I help myself?

  She had responded to everything I had done to her, but I wanted her to take the lead. I felt like I may have been working through my own shit, which is why I had started off so dominating, but I’d like for Savannah to show me what she likes.

  It’s funny that I got it into my mind that I didn’t care for her at all. That was a flat out lie. She’s always been at the back of my mind with a tinge of admiration, even when I was younger, and I had hated her for not caring that my dad lost his job because of what her dad was doing.

  Even when I met her again at the university, and she didn’t remember that we had met years ago, I still couldn’t bring myself to hate her as much as I wanted to. I had always thought Savannah was the most beautiful woman in the world, even though I wanted to hate her. I guess it was one of those weird love/hate things.

  We soon approach the hotel and walk into the lobby. Savannah has to let go of my hand in order to check us in. She takes care of all of that while I look around. She comes to get me when she’s done, but before we head upstairs, she leads me towards the business center.

  “I thought you’d like to get this thing signed before we left.”

  She walks over to the fax machine and pulls out a piece of paper.

  “I called Bernard while I was at the front desk, and they said I could just have him send it over right away.”

  She motions for the two of us to sit down and then she takes out a couple of pens.

  “You can read it over if you want?”

  She hands me the contract and I let my eyes wander over it. I should probably read it. I’m not supposed to trust Savannah, but today has got me all fucking sorts of confused.

  I read random snippets of it, and everything looks to be in order. I sign it, ready to get out of this business center and up to our hotel room. Savannah puts down her signature next.

  “I’m going to send this over to Bernard and then we can go upstairs,” she says, and I nod my agreement.

  I get up and stand just outside the door, while she faxes over our signed contract. So, everything is finalized and down on paper. We’re married and it’s officially for convenience.

  Will this ever not feel weird? I don’t know.

  I hear Savannah come up behind me.

  “Hey,” she says, looking up at me.

  “Hey.”

  “You look deep in thought,” she comments.

  I was – I kind of still am – but I don’t want to reveal to her what I’m thinking about, the weird doubts I’m having. I’d rat
her they stay with me.

  I’m starting to wonder if I should tell her that I’ve met her and her father before. But all of this is feeling so weird.

  “Not really,” I shrug, even though I was. “Why don’t we get upstairs?”

  She nods.

  “Okay.”

  She leads me to our room and opens the door with a key card. She’s about to step over the threshold, but then I stop her by grabbing on to her arm. I have a sudden urge to stick to tradition, even if everything else we’ve done in this “marriage” so far has been a total shirking of that.

  Savannah looks up at me.

  “What is it?”

  “I know that this is all fake, but I thought that there were some traditions we should still follow,” I say, while raising my eyebrows.

  Savannah smiles, but tilts her head in confusion. I can tell she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I beckon her closer with my hand, and she listens.

  Once she’s close enough, I put my arms around her body, so I can pick her up. She starts giggling as I lift her and she wraps her arms around my neck to hold herself up.

  “Oh my God!” she says, as I carry her over the threshold, through the door and into our room.

  She’s clearly excited; her face has made its way into my neck. I kick the door closed with my foot, but I don’t put her down just yet. She starts to kiss me, and then I feel her tongue lick its way up from the base of my neck to right under my chin. I know I’m already hard; her body is too close to mine for me to keep the fire quiet.

  “Savannah,” I say, with a groan.

  She pulls away from my neck and looks into my eyes. Instead of saying anything, she brings her lips to mine. Her hold on me tightens, and she presses into me.

  This position we’re in makes it hard for me to feel all of her, so I move us towards the bed. I throw her onto it, and she shrieks.

  I love the sounds she makes when she’s surprised. She sits up on the bed and looks at me as I’m standing by the edge.

  “Are you going to come here?” she asks.

  She’s pouting, her eyes wide, like she’s pretending to be being upset.

  “Entice me,” I say.

  Savannah inhales sharply.

  It’s as if she’s surprised by what I said, but she’s trying to hold that in, I can tell.

  Her eyes travel down for a moment and then she brings them back up to me. Her hands move until they’re at the hem of her shirt. She pulls it up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. She’s in the same bra she wore last night, a simple black one.

  She teases me by slipping a bra strap off one shoulder and then the other one. I’m expecting her to take it off completely, but she leans back, holding herself up on her hands.

  “Enticed?” she asks.

  I am. She didn’t have to do much – in reality, she doesn’t have to do anything, and I’d still be lured in by her.

  I pull my shirt off and get onto the bed, with a hand and leg on either side of Savannah’s body. I start to kiss her, and she puts her hands around me, causing the two of us to fall into the bed.

  She wraps her leg around me and pushes my pelvis into hers. I feel her hand snake into my hair, and she uses it to pull my head back.

  “Are you going to fuck me, Robert? Are you going to make me come?”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “Yes,” she answers breathlessly.

  I grind against her, and she bucks into me.

  “I want you naked,” I tell her.

  “Okay.”

  She disentangles herself from me, scooting back up into a seated position.

  I move over and watch as she undresses. Her bra is the first thing to go. She unsnaps the back of it and lets it fall to the floor.

  I look at her breasts, mesmerized. I had planned on letting her fully undress before touching her again, but now I have a need to feel her skin. I take my pointer finger and circle it around one of her nipples.

  “Mmm, that’s nice,” Savannah moans.

  I get on my side and bring one of her breasts into my mouth. I circle the tip with my tongue, and Savannah puts her hands in my hair. I’m egged on by the small sounds of pleasure coming from the back of her throat.

  I keep going, sucking on her tit until she’s scratching at my scalp. I softly bite down on her nipple.

  “Ow!” she says, swatting at my head.

  I take my mouth off her chest and kiss my way up to her face.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  Sometimes I’m worried I’ll take it too far – like in the bathroom earlier today. That was me very much off the chain.

  “A little, but I liked it. I was mainly surprised. You can do it again, even harder next time, if you want.”

  I bring myself back on top of her and take her into a passionate kiss. While kissing her, I bring my hands to her pants and take them off of her myself, along with her panties.

  I rub my finger up and down her slit. She gasps into my mouth. Then I make my way down her body with my mouth, until I reach her legs.

  I bite at her inner thighs and Savannah starts giggling again. That comes to a stop when I put my tongue inside her folds. I taste as much of her as I can, swirling my tongue around until I reach her clit. I use my tongue to massage that sensitive spot.

  “Robert, I’m going to – I’m going to…”

  She doesn’t finish her sentence. Instead, her body starts to quiver even more, until she’s visibly shaking. Once her orgasm subsides, I make my way back up to her mouth.

  I kiss her, bringing my tongue into her mouth and letting her taste how sweet she is.

  “You’re – you’re…”

  I want to tell Savannah she’s amazing, I’ve been wanting to tell her every time we’ve slept together, but I’m worried about it slipping out just because I’m a little more vulnerable. I’m not ready to be that way around her just yet.

  “I want you inside of me again. Fuck me, Robert. I want you to fuck me, hard,” she says, as if practically begging.

  I don’t need to be told twice. I pull my pants down, finally letting out the pressure I had been feeling because of my erection. Then I hurry to put on a condom.

  I climb on top of Savannah and feel her hand wrap around my shaft. Her hand slowly pumps my penis. Her thumb strokes my tip, and I feel my lower belly starting to warm up.

  “Savannah…” I whisper.

  She brings me down, so I’m positioned at her entrance. Both of her legs are wrapped around me, applying a light pressure.

  The past two times we’ve done it, I’ve entered her swiftly, but, tonight, I want to start off slow. I ease into her, letting her walls slowly encase me inch by inch. Her head falls back as I slide inside her until I’m buried to the hilt.

  “Fuck, you fit just right. You feel so good,” she says.

  I know she said she wanted to be fucked hard and I plan on giving her exactly what she wants. I move my hips back and drive into her with a lot more force. She grabs on to my ass and digs her nails in.

  “Oh, don’t stop – faster – harder!” she calls out.

  I try to move with more ferocity. I get to the point where the bed is shaking. Savannah is making high-pitched mewlings that encourage me.

  Her walls begin to shake around me, and I know she’s as close to the edge as I am. I bring my thumb down on her clit and start rubbing it violently. I want to watch her come apart before my eyes. I want to make her come apart before my eyes.

  Her face is tense as she bites her lip. I can see her trying to hold on just a little bit longer. Her nails dig in deeper into my ass cheeks, until I’m sure she’s broken the skin.

  “I’m – I’m…”

  Savannah’s orgasm takes me off the edge with her. I come hard and it feels fucking fantastic, my body corded as I let out all the steam that’s been building up inside it. I collapse on top of her afterwards.

  Her hands move up from my bottom and onto my back. Her fingers lazily trace unidentifiable s
hapes. She kisses the side of my face, and I get up off of her, rolling, so that we’re lying down side by side.

  My breathing has calmed down, and I turn my face to look at my “wife.” She truly looks beautiful. She gets up and heads to the bathroom and throw away the condom in the trash can beside the bed. Then I think about everything that’s been happening.

  It’s only been a day and I’m already as confused as ever. I never thought I’d get to this point and, yet, here we are.

  Savannah is soon back, and she lies down next to me. We turn towards one another and that’s how we are when I fall asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Savannah

  When I wake up, Robert’s face is the first thing I see. Not just Robert, but my husband. I’m still thinking through the ramifications of us being married now.

  I had thought this whole thing was going to be simple. I would marry him and the two of us would go back to a different med school and then, maybe in a year, we’d get divorced – but, now… Now, I have no idea what I’m going to do.

  Because I’ve realized that I like waking up next to him and that just feels weird and confusing. I never wanted any of my feelings to get caught up in this, but it looks like I wasn’t so lucky.

  I get out of bed, and Robert is still asleep. I take one of his shirts out of his pack, as well as a pair of underwear, and put them on.

  I take my phone out and put in a delivery for some clothes. I don’t want to have to wear the same thing for a third day and, this way, they should be here in a couple of hours.

  I sit at the breakfast table and decide that maybe I should order us some room service. The two of us totally skipped breakfast and I am now massively hungry. Robert will probably be just as hungry as I am by the time he wakes up. So, I pick up the phone and order us some food.

  While I wait for the food to arrive, Robert still hasn’t woken up. He really can sleep like a log.

  I go back to staring at him. He looks a lot less serious when he’s asleep – maybe calmer would be a better word. His face is definitely lined with his worries. I can see him thinking about them when he’s conscious, but, right now, he must be blissfully unaware.