Grey: New Beginnings (Spectrum Series Book 5)

by Allison White

  “Of course I know Matthew. How are you doing?” she asks him sweetly.

  He spurts and gapes for words until I nudge his shoulder and words fall out of his mouth. “H-hearts pump about two thousand gallons of blood every single day. Like, right now. Blood is just pumping, p-pump it up! Pump that up, right there, under your breasts…” He drags out the word, and I nervously look at Delilah.

  She closes her lips, trimmed brows furrowing as she looks between Matthew and me. “Um, Garrett, Olivia. He’s expecting you in his…” Her eyes shift to Matthew, who is stuck smiling like a statue. “Office. Yeah, I’ll see you guys around.” She clamps her mouth shut, stares at Matthew, who may or may not be breathing right now, before turning on her heels and quickly walking away.

  “Weirdo,” I huff out, and Matthew glares at me harder than before.

  “I told you I can’t talk to her!” he exclaims, and I hold up my hands in defense.

  “I didn’t think you’d talk about her breasts!” I can’t even attempt to hold back the laughter.

  “Great. Now you’re mocking me.” He sighs and begins walking away, but I clearly hear him mutter, “I should just give up on life.”

  “Your life is worth living!” I joke, and if he weren’t so polite, he’d show me his middle finger. It’s what Grey would do. I laugh at my adorable friend before walking to Garrett’s office. The entire trip, I wonder why he could be calling me into his office. Did I mess up during one of my sessions on the phone with the kids? Or did I analyze wrong? I hope it isn’t anything bad. And if so, I hope I can fix it, so it isn’t a problem anymore.

  I knock on his door, and he calls me in.

  “Olivia, have a seat.” He greets me with a beaming smile.

  I do as told and try to match his enthusiastic smile. “Garrett, it’s nice to see you.”

  “You too.” He shuffles some papers in front of him. “So, are you ready for the kick-ass opportunity I’m about to tell you about?”

  “Um, yes?” I say more hesitantly, but a little nervous laugh slips out too.

  He claps his hands together. “How would you feel about a paid internship with TPC?”

  My jaw drops. “I would feel very grateful!”

  Is this really happening?

  “Only thing is, it’s in New York.”

  “Oh…” My mouth grows dry, and Grey’s face and his apartment, here in Pennsylvania, which is almost four hours from New York, pops up in my head.

  This cannot be happening…

  I am frozen, and it has been ten minutes since Garrett told me about the amazing opportunity. One that a person my age would never get, especially if you’re still in college. The chances of getting a paid internship from such an elite program like this are extremely thin. You’d probably get the opportunity when you’re thirty, your drive to live out your dream career already withered and gone. But I have been offered this crazy great opportunity now. And I am only nineteen. I feel honored to have this chance to jump onto my dream.

  I should be bouncing around in my office, reserving a table for Grey and me so I can announce the big news over dinner. Not riding down in the elevator, on my way to get coffee to soothe my raging nerves. I shouldn’t have sweaty palms and be preparing myself for screaming an opposing Grey, the love of my life. I should be happy, but all I can think about is Grey.

  I know he won’t like the idea of moving to an unknown state for me. I know, it sounds freaking insane considering how much we love each other and how supportive he has been this past month. But I know Grey well enough to know that he despises change. He’s got regular underground fights with a high reputation and his spot on that UFC channel. All here in Pennsylvania. He may be loving and sweet when he wants to be, but he can also be very selfish and cold in a snap of a finger.

  I take a deep breath and shake my head. What am I thinking? Grey loves me. He’ll at least think about moving with me for the job. A very high-paid job that promises experience and would look excellent on a resume. He isn’t that selfish enough that he wouldn’t at least think about it, right?

  I shake off the thought as the elevator comes to a stop.

  I will think more about this and when I should tell him. Something tells me over dinner in public isn’t very wise.

  I lift my head from the glass door and take a single step forward, but a face I never thought I’d see again stares back at me. A very familiar face that promises to meet me in the mirror in a few years’ time…

  “Mother?” I croak.

  Chapter Twelve

  So many things are going on within me. Utter and complete chaos in the form of emotions. Millions of questions swirl in my utterly confused mind, like a whirlwind of mayhem. I want to pick one emotion that doesn’t have me frozen like an ice statue, but I can barely grasp one; they all slip through my fingers like melted putty. There are too many, and they are too fast for me to stop and comprehend. I can feel a migraine forming in my temples, and it takes everything in me not to dig it out with my fingers.

  Luckily, one big flashing red question showcases in my brain, and I desperately grasp onto it and let confusion and anger course through me. What the hell is she doing here? I thought she didn’t approve of me or my relationship with Grey. She had me admitted in a psych ward, for Christ’s sake! She has lectured me over and over, put me on pills, tried to brainwash me, and even put her hands on me! All because I grew up and defied her when doing so. So why is she here now? Why is she here to mess up everything again?

  “Lady, are you getting out or not?” an annoyed man in a suit and glasses snaps in front of me. I look over his shoulder at the crowd of people waiting to get on and shrink back a step.

  “Yes, sorry.” I flush and give him an apologetic smile as I step off.

  “Wait, Olivia!” my mother yells after me.

  I quicken my steps, feeling my heart shrink in fear with each step. I try my best to block out her impossible high heels as they clink with each powerful stride of her long legs. I ignore her cries and demands for me to “slow down.” They just fuel my need to get away. The October air is cool and makes me shiver for half a second before I remember I am on the run. Quite literally.

  Tears prick my eyes as I push past men and woman in suits that harbor annoyed expressions as I bump into them. I can barely mutter an apology, as I rush to escape the terrifying woman chasing me. It feels as though she is a cavernous monster from my nightmare chasing me down with the intent on chaining me to a wooden pike to wipe my brain clean like Frankenstein.

  Never have I ever imagined I’d be running away from my mother like this. But how can I stop and let her berate me for living my life the way I want to? It may not be how she envisioned me, but she could have at least pretended to be okay with it. She didn’t have to be so cruel and stop being my mother. Sometimes I cry at night because I lost her the night of the car accident all those years ago. She lost two of her children, the one in her stomach and the one who held her hand as she laughed on our way to the car that would be overturned hours later.

  I briskly walk into the coffee shop down the road. I think I’ve lost her in the downtown jam, with people hustling to their favorite places to get coffee to start off their day. I take in a deep breath of relief as I get in the thankfully short line. I rub my hands to create a little bit of warmth in my body. I feel hyperaware of the chatter flowing among the customers and the loud hissing of steam billowing from the coffee machines. I try my best to block off my senses, but the more I try, the more I can feel the blood rushing in my cheeks and taste it from my lip I am chewing into too intensely.

  I am strung up and tense as I wait for Mother to pop out from behind the counter with buff male nurses, ready to drag me to the nearest psych ward. Literally. But after a while of nothing but the insistent tapping of the man’s finger against his phone in front of me, I take a deep, relaxing breath and let my shoulders sag in relief. Maybe I’m just having a really vivid hallucination. I look around with a still heart, expectin
g a man with a gun in hand to find me watching him and shoot me. My chest burns, and I look to the ground, panting for air. There is no man, no harm, no gun, no bullet…but I’ve already made my body aware of the possibility, however low, and I can’t breathe.

  “Miss? Are you okay?” A soft voice pulls me out of my mini panic attack.

  I raise my eyes and stare at the barista behind the counter. The man tapping away on his phone is gone; I am next. I didn’t even realize because I was so wrapped up in my head. I really have got to stop doing that to myself. Grey and other therapists have told me that I’m safe, that I shouldn’t do that to my already weak heart. I don’t want to be strapped to a bed in an all-white room, so I have got to appear normal. Sane.

  “Yes, sorry.” I pull out a gentle smile and walk up to the counter. “I would like a plain black coffee, no sugar or cream, please.”

  Twenty minutes later, I’m sitting by the window. I take slow sips to preserve my coffee. I have to go back to the office soon. I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. I should be working, but after Garrett told me the news…I just needed something to ground me. And this coffee is working, so far. I take another sip of the cooling coffee and glance down at my phone. I have my message thread with Grey on the screen.

  I’m contemplating if I should text him about my hallucination and the offer Garrett presented to me. I know I should; he’s my boyfriend, and we’re pretty serious. I mean, we are living together. It seems to be the last step in our relationship, which makes me feel empty for a few seconds. But then my undying and unfathomable love for him takes over, and I don’t feel as bad. I shouldn’t be so hesitant in telling him any of it, but I am just so scared for both of his answers, I just end up setting the phone down and settling my attention outside of the window, elsewhere.

  I decide to leave the shop five minutes later when I feel confident in myself. I’m not shaking, my heart isn’t pounding like crazy, and I feel like I’m okay. I toss out the empty coffee mug, slip a few dollars in the tip jar, and welcome the cool breeze as I walk outside. I plaster a smile on my face and calmly walk back to the building. I can’t help but look around for my mother, but when I don’t spot her behind a trash can eyeing me like a crazy woman, I decide I was just hallucinating and continue walking with a smile on my face.

  I say hello to everyone on my way to my office and laugh when I walk past Lily and William bickering over something. They are always fighting. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think there was maybe something under their fighting, maybe some attraction toward each other. I even suggested that to her, but she ended up laughing in my face for the rest of the day. I guess not, but it would have been a great twist, huh?

  I open my office door and feel my heart fall out of my chest, through my mouth.

  “Mother?” I choke out.

  She’s standing behind my desk, peering out at the downtown area. In one swift motion, she swivels around on her incredibly high heels and smiles at me, nearly blinding me with her pearly white teeth. My heart skips a beat, and I reel back, trying to catch my breath.

  “Hello, darling,” her smooth voice croons. I shiver, and tears bundle up in my eyes.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Get out,” I whisper, clutching my stomach.

  “Excuse me?” Her mouth turns upside down in a frown, and I grind my teeth together, anger pumping through my veins.

  “I said…to get out!” I raise my voice, pointing at the door. I don’t even need to ask how she got in the building without an ID or in my office because I know her, and I know she is the most persuasive woman on the planet. She can smooth talk her way into and out of every situation. She is a master manipulator, and I don’t want her in my presence anymore. My stomach is caving in on itself just by having her in my breathing space. I want nothing to do with her!

  “I don’t want to argue with you, Olivia. It is not my intention—” she lies.

  “Stop lying to me!” I thread my fingers through my hair before pinching my lower lip. “I don’t want you in here. Get out right now!”

  Her icy blue eyes squeeze together, and she balls up her mouth, red lips bunched to the side. “Olivia, please, I am just asking for a few minutes to talk with you. It is urgent that I do so.”

  “You expect me to listen to you, after all you’ve done to me?” I scoff loudly, and she frowns. I take a step forward. “You have thrown insult after insult at me, tried to break Grey and me apart, insulted him, thrown me in a freaking psych ward, and so much more! Yet you want me to listen to you because it’s urgent?” I shake my head. That is not fair. Not even a little bit. “No, I don’t care. Get out.”

  “Olivia Renee—” she begins, her anger rifling up.

  “Do not speak the rest of my name,” I warn, pointing a finger at her, trying to rein in my rage. “I am this close to changing it to Wyler just to piss you off and to be untied from you.”

  She gasps and takes a step back as if to balance herself. “I do not wish to warn you any further about that boy…”

  “Strike one,” I say in a low voice. “Disrespect Grey again, and I will not hesitate to call security.”

  She flinches at my threat, then takes a deep breath. “I…am sorry.”

  It’s my turn to balance myself. “What?”

  I am shocked beyond belief. I have never heard her apologize before. But is it genuine? That’s the question.

  She exhales and turns her intense blue eyes to the skyscrapers. “You have done well for yourself. That girl Delilah says you are the only intern to have your own office.” She glances around, voice low and approving. “And this office is quite…exquisite.” I hold my breath when her eyes land on mine. “I am proud of you.”

  I ignore the thumping of glee in my chest; Old Olivia is jumping in glee to have approval from Mother. New Olivia knows she wants something, and New Olivia wants her to leave the office.

  “What made you track me down all the way out here, Mother?” I ask in a tired sigh.

  She sighs, and her mouth twitches, like she’s hiding an angry outburst. “I have disappointing news. I tried getting a hold of you, but it seems you’ve changed your number…” Her accusing words hang in the air. I wish I could open one of the glass windows and let it out; it’s too dark for me to breathe properly.

  “Yeah, well, Grey thought it’d be best if I got out the toxic out of my life,” I say. “The doctors suggested it, really, so I don’t have a heart attack since I was shot. Oh, I can remember the night and how few people were there by my side when I finally woke up.” My eyes sting with tears, and I take a few steps toward her; she watches, visibly swallowing guiltily. “One of those few, amazing, loving people not being my mother.”

  “I…” She stifles back tears and casts her eyes down. “I am sorry for not being there for you, Olivia.”

  “What is the news?” I look away, hiding my own tears. I refuse to break down in front of this woman.

  She takes a dramatic pause, then says, “Your father and I are getting divorced.”

  My heart drops, and I feel sympathetic for her, just a little. “Oh…” I didn’t expect that.

  “Yes.” She nods her head and swallows. “But that isn’t it.”

  I look at her expectantly.

  “I also…” She takes a huge breath and shrugs slightly. “I also wanted to…re-kindle our relationship.”

  I have no words.

  “Oh, Olivia!” Grey’s voice shatters through the uncomfortable silence.

  My eyes widen, and I glance over my shoulder. “I’ll…I’ll be right back.” I know I should kick her out right now and tell her not to look back, but she is my mother. I can say how she isn’t all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that she birthed me, and now she and my father are splitting up. I still have a heart.

  “Hey, princess.” Grey grins smugly at me before leaning down and connecting his lips with mine. I instantly melt into his arms, but not too much. I have to deal with the situation of my mother
in my office and Grey, the only boy she despises with all her icy heart.

  “W-what are you doing here?” I ask shakily when he pulls back.

  He digs a condom out of his pocket and holds it up with a wicked smirk. “I came to fuck you on your office desk. And I also brought you a tomato.” He holds up a market paper bag, a frown playing on his lips. “They ran out of those salad shits you like, but they did have this amazing tomato. Round and perky, just like your ass.” He reaches around and taps my butt.

  I redden like his…tomato and laugh nervously. “Can’t really do that.”

  “You always have time to eat a tomato.” He pouts like a puppy, and my heart breaks just a little.

  “I didn’t mean that. I meant the…” My cheeks flourish bright red, and I am unable to finish my sentence.

  He pinches my cheeks and chuckles lightly. “We have fucked way too many times for you to clam up on me like that.”

  “We can’t…do it today,” I tell him firmly.

  He frowns. “Why not? You have a desk, and I want to fuck you on it. What’s so wrong with that?”

  “Um, a lot, you sex-rabbit.”

  He merely laughs and taps my head. “I’m fucking you on the desk.”

  I widen my eyes as he walks around me, toward my office. “Wait, Grey. Don’t go in there!”

  “Why not?” he scoffs.

  “Wait!” I scream, but it’s too late.

  He’s opened the door and glares at my mother. “What the fuck is she doing in here?”

  Mother crosses her arms but doesn’t say anything. Thank God.

  “She came here to talk to me…” I begin, but he doesn’t listen. Of course. He’s Grey Wyler; what did I expect?

  “How the fuck did she even know where you work?”

  “Google is quite an amazing piece of technology,” Mother sasses, and I gasp, hiding laughter at how she isn’t screaming her head off at Grey but making fun of him in a non-threatening way.