If You're Willing

by Ivy Symone

Cassie snapped out of her daze and looked at her friends. “Huh?”

  Jazmin laughed. “Girl, what are you over there daydreaming about?”

  “Oh nothing.” Cassie shook her head and took a sip of her drink. “What were you talking about?”

  “The company cookout at Lu’s. It’s big and the company’s employees bring their families. It’s the first quarter employee appreciation day. There’s activities for the kids too. Are you coming?” Jazmin asked again.

  “I’ll be there,” Tanya said. “Me and Tyriq.”

  Cassie lowered her voice and pointed towards Gio. “Will he be there?”

  “Girl,” Tanya gave her one of her infamous “you got to be playing” looks. “That man don’t want you.”

  “How you know?” Cassie challenged.

  “Cause I know,” Tanya spat.

  Jazmin said, “I’m sure he’ll be there. He and his wife and kids come to all of the other events.”

  Tanya looked at Cassie again. “See there? Wife and kids. He don’t want you.”

  “Oh shut-up,” Cassie snarled.

  Jazmin grinned. “So how are the two of you liking things so far?”

  “Oh bitch! You shoulda been got me on,” Tanya exclaimed.

  “It’s alright,” Cassie said dryly.

  “What’s the problem?” Jazmin asked.

  She pointed to Eli. “He’s bipolar.”

  Tanya laughed. “And you ain’t?”

  Cassie narrowed her eyes at Tanya. “I am not bipolar. Maybe moody.”

  “Speaking of moody,” Jazmin piped up. “What’s going on between you and Rock?”

  Cassie sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “That nigga. He’s working my nerves. He act like he mad cause I’m working at BevyCo with Eli. I don’t know what it is but Rock got it in for Eli.”

  “Why? I thought they were cool. I thought they all were cool,” Tanya said.

  “Me too,” Cassie said. “But every time I mention Eli he act like I’m fucking him.”

  Jazmin fell into thought. “Well, you know Eli got a problem with his mouth. He probably done said some fucked up shit that rubbed Rock wrong.”

  “Jah got a problem with his mouth too, but Rock don’t act crazy when it comes to him,” Cassie pointed out.

  “But the shit Eli be doing be getting under people’s skin,” Tanya chuckled. “He purposely fuck with folks.”

  “Well, that’s true,” Cassie laughed. “You shoulda seen how crazy he was talking to these people today.”

  There was a pause in Eli and Gio’s conversation for him to turn his attention to them and ask, “What are ya’ll saying about me over there?”

  “What a great person you are,” Tanya said sarcastically followed by a grin.

  Eli’s eyes went to Cassie. “You talking about me?”

  Cassie shook her head. Just then some other people from work joined them. Their space suddenly became noisy and crowded. Cassie sat back and observed for the most part. She especially enjoyed listening to Gio talk and laugh. When this very well dressed, nice looking brown skinned cutie walked over, Cassie forgot all about Gio. But quickly her interest died when Eli seemed thrilled to see him. So thrilled, he actually got up and walked away with this guy.

  She leaned over the table and asked in a lowered voice, “Who was that?”

  “That’s that Kreme guy,” Jazmin answered.

  “The one Eli asked my brother about?” Cassie asked.

  “Is Kreme gay?” Tanya asked.

  Jazmin smiled knowingly and looked away.

  Tanya whispered, “Is Eli gay?”

  “So Kris really is his beard?” Cassie asked.

  “I ain’t saying all that,” Jazmin said. “With the exception of marrying Kris, Eli has always been private about that part of his life. We rarely saw him with anybody. He didn’t invite people to family functions or nothing like that. So we were shocked when the twins’ mama showed up and said they were his. No one knew he was hitting that back in the day.”

  “Well, maybe he’s bi,” Tanya said.

  Jazmin said, “I think that’s everyone’s conclusion. But you know Kreme owns his own nightclub. They say he got this other private club that only members are allowed in.”

  “Why is it so damn private?” Tanya wanted to know.

  “From what I’ve heard, it’s very, very freaky,” Jazmin said.

  Tanya looked at Cassie excited, and said, “Let’s go. You wanna go?”

  “To the private one?” Cassie asked. “Girl, you ain’t got no freaky bones in your body. Whatchu wanna go to a club like that for?”

  “I’ve heard about them freaky clubs. Is it like swinging? I’ve always wanted to go to see what they be doing,” Tanya said.

  “And yo’ ass gonna get fucked,” Cassie laughed.

  Jazmin started laughing too. “Somebody gonna come up to her out of the blue and bend her over.”

  “Yeah, with a dildo,” Cassie giggled.

  “Fuck ya’ll,” Tanya grumbled.

  Overhearing their conversation, Gio turned to them and said, “You really should go. At least once.”

  Now Cassie was interested. Tanya asked, “You’ve been?”

  “A time or two,” he said.

  “Should you be telling me this?” Tanya asked looking stunned by his admission.

  “We’re off the clock,” he smiled.

  Tanya scrunched up her nose. “Hmmm…I don’t know. You’re my boss.”

  Gio chuckled, “It’s okay.”

  “So when the next time you going?” Cassie asked out of curiosity.

  “When do you need me to go?” Gio returned flashing her a lustful smile.

  “Aw sukie sukie now,” Tanya said under her breath.

  Cassie blushed. “I’m not sure.” She looked at Tanya. “When do you wanna go?”

  “I wanna go,” Jazmin whined.

  Tanya gave Jamin one of those looks of hers. “So Jah can beatcho ass?”

  “I know,” Jazmin said defeatedly. She got excited and joked, “Well maybe I can persuade him to go too.”

  Tanya repeated, “So Jah can beatcho ass?

  Chapter 6

  Three weeks later, Cassie attended the company’s employee appreciation event. The cookout was as amazing as Jazmin said it was. It was also Cassie’s first time ever being in someone’s home that was so majestic. They didn’t spend much time inside, but Jazmin did take them on a tour.

  Cassie allowed her brother to accompany her. However she regretted letting Colette tag along. She could tell her mama was on a mission to snag one of the older rich men on the premises.

  “Hey, I know that bitch right there,” Colette said. She was eyeing someone keenly.

  “Who?” Cassie asked looking around.

  “I’ll be back,” Colette said absently as she began to walk away.

  Romyn shook his head. “You know Mama ain’t got any sense. You shoulda told her no. What possessed you to bring her? Look at what she got on.”

  Cassie looked at the rainbow colored frozen treat he was holding. “Where you get that at?”

  “Over there,” he pointed across the courtyard to a white ice cream stand.

  Cassie headed in that direction. There were so many people and kids darting everywhere; she would have sworn she was at a county fair. And the kids had everything a fair could offer too.

  She had lost sight of Tanya and Jazmin. However, she stumbled upon Gio’s wife. She wasn’t all that. Cassie was expecting some breathtaking beauty. To Cassie, his wife looked average. She thought back to his little innuendo that day at happy hour. Ever since that day, he had been giving her these lustful looks when no one was looking. She would blush and play it off. He would say things like, “I’m still waiting.” She would laugh him off. She didn’t understand why she was evading him when that’s all she had been thinking about.

  After getting her frozen ice she looked around for her brother. He had moved out of the spot they were sitting at. She spotted her mother
talking to an older lady.

  “Well, it looks like life is treating you well,” the lady was saying as Cassie walked up. She had a snooty way about her. Cassie could tell by the way her eyes looked Colette up and down with her nose slightly turned up.

  Of course Colette couldn’t just look like someone’s mother. She had to be thotted up in her white bodycon dress and five inch heels.

  Colette smiled graciously. She said, “And I see life is taking care of you real good. Who did you snag up?”

  The lady laughed. “What does that mean Letty?”

  “I know you. Remember, we used to run in the same circle. I mean I know you married Esau, but he wasn’t taking care of you like this,” Colette said gesturing over the lady’s body.

  Cassie’s eyes shifted to Eli walking up behind the lady. “Mama, Lu wants you.”

  “This is your mama?” Cassie asked surprised.

  “Yeah. Ol’ Sarah,” Eli said.

  “Should I know her Eli?” Sarah asked.

  “She works with me at the office. And she’s Jazz’s friend,” he answered. He looked at Colette. “Is this your mama?”

  “Yeah, Colette. And apparently these two know each other,” Cassie said pointing between Sarah and her mother.

  Eli uttered, “Tuh. I ain’t surprised.”

  Sarah playfully hit him in the arm. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Birds of a feather,” was his reply.

  Colette’s mouth dropped open while Cassie started giggling.

  Sarah threw a smile one last time. “It was nice seeing you Letty. Make sure you find me before you leave.”

  “I sure will,” Colette said. She pointed across the way and asked Eli, “Who is that man right there?”

  “Which one?”

  “The one in the navy blue pants.”

  “That’s Antino.”

  “I thought so!” Colette said excitedly. “I’ll be back.”

  Eli watched Colette saunter over to the huddle of men. He looked back at Cassie sympathetically, “So yo’ mama a hoe too?”

  Cassie laughed. “Too?”

  “Yeah. You ain’t gotta be ashamed. Trust me I understand your pain,” he said.

  Defeated, she said, “Yeah, I’ve been dealing with it all my life.”

  “So Gio wanted me to ask you if you’re interested in going out tonight.”

  Cassie questioned Eli with her eyes to make sure he was referring to what she thought he was referring to. “To the place?”

  Eli nodded.

  “Tonight?”

  “I’ll be there so you don’t have to worry about anything. And you don’t even have to do anything. It’s a place to socialize if you want to. For the most part, all I do is sit back and watch people fuck. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of it,” he chuckled.

  “So you don’t participate?”

  He hesitated as he looked for the right words. “I’m a voyeur.”

  “But don’t you have to be a member.”

  “Yeah, but we’ve already made arrangements for ya’ll.”

  “Ya’ll?”

  “Yeah, you and Tanya.”

  “Tanya’s fat ass is coming too?” Cassie asked.

  “Yes, Tanya’s fat ass is coming too. You wouldn’t believe how many plus size women be getting their fuck on. And they be sexy to0; with their squishy selves.”

  “Can I invite my brother too?”

  “If he wants to come. He might get into some trouble though.”

  “I’ll make sure I let him know that,” she grinned.

  “We’re gonna meet up there at eleven.”

  “Eleven?”

  “Yes, that’s when the doors open.”

  “Where is it?”

  “It’s…you know what? You probably will never find it your first time. I’ll just come and get you and Tanya. Ya’ll can ride there with me. So be ready by ten-thirty. And don’t wear this shit you got on. Go home and change. You look like somebody’s country ass cousin who work at Piggly Wiggly, and be letting all her family come through her line, and don’t be ringing up nothing except the milk.”

  Cassie looked down at her simple capri jeans and blue t-shirt ensemble and started laughing. “Oh shut up Eli. You kill me.”

  “You should dress more daring,” he suggested.

  “Daring?” she questioned. Then she suddenly became uncomfortable as his eyes roamed all over her body. It wasn’t that his eyes held anything suggestive; she just didn’t need him staring too long before he found something else to critique.

  “Yeah. I think brighter colors would bring out the color of your skin, brown girl. You have a nice even complexion.”

  “Thank you,” she blushed. That was the first time he ever had anything nice to say to her and actually seemed genuine.

  When she looked away, seeing Rock soured her mood. It wasn’t the fact of him being present, but he wasn’t alone. He knew she would be there, so why would he bring his baby mama Melody along.

  “I’ll be right back,” Cassie said absently. She made her way over to Rock, his baby mama, and their son. “Hey Rock.”

  Melody turned up her nose as she looked Cassie up and down.

  “What’s up Cassie,” Rock said casually.

  Cassie looked between him and Melody. “What’s this?”

  “What it look like?” Melody blurted.

  Rock looked back at her, cautioning her with his hand. “Chill with that, okay.”

  Cassie cut her eyes at Melody who returned the same despise. Her eyes cut to Rock. “Really Rock?”

  “What you mean really Rock? Wait a minute,” he said. He looked back at Melody. “Give me a sec.”

  “I told you don’t have me out here looking like a fool,” Melody said with an attitude.

  “You don’t need him for that,” Cassie said smartly.

  “Fuck you lil—”

  Rock interrupted Melody before she could say more. He nudged her for emphasis. “Didn’t I say chill?”

  Melody rolled her eyes in exasperation.

  Rock stepped away ushering Cassie along.

  “You must don’t want her to hear the lie you about to tell me,” Cassie said sarcastically.

  “It ain’t like that. She only here cause she wouldn’t let me just take Lil Rock by himself. She was tripping so I told her to come on,” he explained.

  “Mmmhmm,” Cassie hummed dubiously.

  “Fuck it man,” Rock said growing irate. “You ain’t gotta believe it. I really ain’t gotta explain shit to you.”

  “Yeah, fuck it then,” Cassie said angrily.

  “Take yo’ lil ass on back over there to your boyfriend,” Rock dismissed.

  “Don’t worry,” Cassie sassed. “I am, chip tooth bastard.”

  Rock laughed in an angered manner. “Oh you wanna go there? Don’t make me talk about them boils on yo chest.”

  Cassie was beyond vexed. “Boils? Fuck you nigga.”

  She could hear Rock’s laughter as she stormed away. He made her sick! But she wasn’t going to dwell on him or his baby mama. They could have each other. Fuck Rock. Now she really needed to go out and unwind. And she knew just where she was spending her night.

  _____

  There was something exciting about this. Cassie was also nervous as hell. Romyn was a little anxious. And Tanya was having second thoughts.

  As Eli suggested, she went home and changed into something a little more provocative. It was a dress that she never got to wear during her friendship with Michelle. They used to hit the clubs all the time together and wear the skimpiest clothing. She hadn’t really done anything like that since everybody fell out with Michelle.

  The dress was a black Roman toga style maxi dress with high slits going up both sides. Her hair had been freshly done, so she wore it down with the side swoop bang practically covering her left eye. She felt sexy, even if nobody else thought so. When Eli saw her, he gave her a nod of approval. She was glad to at least pass his
inspection.

  Eli was right. If she tried to find the place on her own she wouldn’t have never found it. It was in an old industrial area back in the cut. The brick building showed no signs of life and appeared as if it lacked routine maintenance. They had to go through a series of point checks until they got to the actual club. Once that door open, the music rushed to their ears. The place was dimly lit with colored disco lights circling the room. There were people who looked like normal socializing-people at any other club gathered at tables, laughing and drinking. It wasn’t what Cassie had imagined.

  “Is this it?” Tanya asked.

  “Oh this is just a small reception area. Beyond those curtains,” Eli pointed to the far end of the room, “that’s where we’re going.”

  Cassie swallowed the lump in her throat. Now she was having second thoughts. She followed close behind her brother.

  Once they crossed over into the other room, Eli said to Romyn, “You can stay up here if you want, but there’s another area you might be interested in.”

  “Show me,” Romyn said.

  Before walking off, Eli said to Tanya and Cassie, “You’re on your own. Relax, have a drink, and walk around.”

  Cassie nor Tanya was listening to what he was saying. They stood there shocked and mesmerized at the same time. Their minds couldn’t process any of the activities they were seeing.

  “What the fuck is this Cassie?” Tanya mumbled.

  “I don’t know,” Cassie answered absently. Her eyes were focused on a woman sucking a man off. He looked like he had to be at least ten inches and the woman was making his whole dick disappear in her throat.

  A waitress with all kinds of “needs” on a tray approached them. Tanya took one of the test tubes, filled with blue drink, and passed it to Cassie. She got one for herself. The waitress smiled and moved on.

  Tanya downed hers in one gulp.

  “Let’s look around some more,” Tanya suggested.

  Cassie followed Tanya in pure amazement. They walked through a corridor lit by recessed neon lighting. On either side were private booths with curtains drawn. Despite the music, which was very erotic and psychedelic, they could still hear the sounds of sex taking place.

  At the end of that corridor, was a fork. At this point, Cassie was thinking there was something in those test tubes other than liquor. Cassie could feel it. Tanya was definitely feeling it. She had stopped another waitress and this time opted for the red liquid. She passed one to Cassie and they both swallowed in one gulp.