Love Don't Live Here

by Charmanie Saquea

  Mario wasn’t into the drugs neither was Jax so he could have that shit. All they wanted was the money. Jax really wanted to hit up his big brother Juan, but he was MIA, so they decided on him. Jax cleaned out all the safes and walked back into the living room. He nodded at Mario before leaving out the back door to start the car up.

  Mario shot Havier in the thigh, “That’s for being a bitch and not even trying to hold ya own,” he said before walking out the back door himself.

  When he got to the car, Jax looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “What’s wrong with you nigga?” Mario asked.

  “Check your phone,” Jax replied.

  Mario looked down at his phone to see three missed calls from Marisa and a text message. Get to Nadia’s house ASAP. Mario looked at the time, and it was three o’clock in the morning. Marisa sent the text fifteen minutes ago, so he was wondering what was so important that they were up at three in the morning on a school night. Without another thought, Mario sped to Nadia’s.

  Marisa was holding Nyzir rocking him quietly while Nadia damn near cleaned everything in the house. She hadn’t sat still since they had left the hospital. She couldn’t sit still even if she wanted to because she was scared if she did, reality would set in. No, she can’t be gone, Nadia thought as she washed the same two dishes for the fourth time.

  “Nadia, you need to sit down before you go crazy!” Marisa said. She was really worried about her best friend. She knew she was trying to be strong and hold it together, but she figured now was the time for her to be breaking down.

  “Did you call your mom?” Nadia asked, ignoring the fact that she told her to sit down.

  “Yes, I called her, she’s going to be here first thing in the morning.” Marisa shook her head. She knew there was no point in fussing with Nadia because she was going to do what she wanted to do. She checked her phone wondering where the hell Mario and Jax were. She had blown both of their phones up.

  “Reese Cup, you can go home. I’m fine, I swear,” Nadia said as she started fluffing the pillows on the couch. “I’m about to take Zir upstairs, lock up.”

  “Nadi, stop talking crazy. Ain’t no way in hell I’m leaving you right now.”

  While Nadia walked her sleepy brother up the stairs, there was a knock at the door. Marisa jumped up knowing it had to be the boys. She sighed when she opened the door to see them standing there. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Jax asked.

  “She’s gone,” Marisa said sadly.

  “What? Who?” Mario asked.

  “Nicole, the doctors called Nadia up there to the hospital to tell her. She just past suddenly, and Nadia hasn’t shed one tear since we left the hospital. She won’t even sit still for two seconds,” Marisa said.

  “Damn,” the boys cussed simultaneously.

  “Where’s Nadi?” Mario asked.

  “Upstairs putting Nyzir to sleep.”

  Mario walked up the stairs, right when he reached the top Nadia was coming out of Nyzir’s room.

  “Hey,” she whispered as she tried to move past him. Mario grabbed her in his arms and walked her to her room. He sat her on her bed and kneeled in front of her. “No, Mario. I’ll go crazy if I sit down,” Nadia said as she tried to get up, but he wouldn’t let her up.

  “Nah, you just don’t want to breakdown and cry. It’s cool though Nadia, you’re supposed to cry. You don’t have to be strong all the time. We all know how much you loved her. We’re not going to judge you so you can let it out,” he said sincerely.

  “I can’t,” she said. “I can’t.”

  “Look, you need to lay down,” he said pushing her back to lie down. “Marisa told me you haven’t sat still since you’ve been home,” he said as he took her shoes off. She grabbed his hoodie and stopped him.

  “Don’t leave me…please?” She begged.

  “I won’t. I’ma tell Jax and Marisa you’re lying down so they’ll know that you’re fine. I’ll be back.” He kissed her forehead. He ran downstairs and delivered the message.

  “Thank you, Mario. That’s why I called you. She wouldn’t listen to a word I said. I called my mom, and she’ll be here early in the morning to take care of a couple of things so Nadia can get some rest. She knows like I know that Nadia will try to be superwoman and do everything by herself,” Marisa said.

  “Well that’s out of the question because we will help with whatever she needs,” Jax said.

  “No doubt,” Mario agreed.

  When they left, Mario made sure the house was locked up before he went upstairs to check on Nyzir. He was sleeping peacefully, so he headed back to Nadia’s room. He wished he would have knocked before he walked in because Nadia was standing there in just her bra and panties looking through her dresser. He felt his dick jump, and he had to readjust. Down boy, now is not the time he thought as he walked over to the bed. Nadia put on a long t-shirt before leaving out the room. While she was out, Mario looked around her room. He ran across a picture of her and a nigga he thought he would never see again, Neeman.

  “That’s my brother. I know he’s going to take it hard once I tell him she’s gone,” Nadia said from behind him.

  “Y’all look alike,” Mario said.

  “So I’ve been told.” She shrugged. “Here, I bought these for him for when he came home, but I know you don’t want to sleep in that hoodie and in them jeans,” she said handing him a fresh white T and new pair of Jordan basketball shorts.

  “Thanks,” he said.

  Nadia climbed in her bed and watched Mario as he got undressed. She was shocked that his body was ripped when he took his shirt off because he seemed skinnier than what he actually was. When he was done, he climbed into bed and pulled Nadia close to him. She laid her head on his chest, and it seemed that suddenly she got sleepy.

  ___

  “Jax, I’m really worried about Nadia,” Marisa said as they lay in bed. “I have a feeling that she’s going to try to keep her emotions bottled in, and that’s not good.”

  “I know baby, but she’s in good hands over there. Mario got her, and he gon make sure she’s straight. Her and Nyzir.”

  “I know, but Nadia likes to shut people out when she’s going through things, and I hate that about her,” Marisa said. She was really concerned about her friend.

  “The only thing we can do is be there for her. What about her pops? Where he at? She never talks about him,” Jax asked.

  “And she never will, unfortunately,” Marisa sighed. “Her dad was in the war over in Iraq. They said something about a roadside bomb and he was in the vehicle that got hit. His remains were burned so badly that they couldn’t even have a funeral for him. If it weren’t for the dog tags, he was wearing, they wouldn’t have even known it was him. That’s when everything started going downhill. Nicole started having health problems. She went in to have her blood drawn, and the damn nurse used a dirty needle. That’s how she contracted AIDS,” Marisa explained.

  Jax was utterly shocked. He knew that Nadia was going through some things, but he never knew it was that deep. He felt really bad for her because what she went through and was going through was enough to drive somebody crazy. But yet, she was always smiling and having a good time that you would have never known she was hurting.

  “Damn, baby girl is a trooper. But don’t trip, we’re not going to let y’all go through this shit by y’all selves,” Jax said. He made a mental note to speak with his cousin as soon as possible. He knew that Nadia and Nyzir would need a vacation after everything was done and over with, so he was thinking of places they could take the girls and Nyzir.

  -8-

  It was the day before Nicole’s funeral, and Mario had been with Nadia and Nyzir every day and night since she had passed. He volunteered to pay for the funeral, but Nadia told him that Nicole had life insurance so everything would be fine. She said the only thing she wanted was for her brother to be home for the funeral. Mario knew what he had to do even though he didn’t want to. It wasn’t about him it was about
Nadia and Nyzir.

  He was starting to worry about Nadia because she had yet to shed a tear. He had sat up with Nyzir one night when he was crying and explained to him that Nicole was with God and the Angels were watching over him. Nadia would wake up in the middle of the night and stare out into the darkness. He knew this was hard for her. Jax had told him the story about her dad, and that crushed his heart to know that she didn’t have either of her parents left.

  Raelynn, Marisa, and Jax were over Nadia’s to go over the final arrangements and make sure everything was set for the funeral. “Reese Cup, I need a big favor from you,” Nadia said to Marisa.

  “What’s up?”

  “You remember what Ma’s favorite song was right?” Nadia asked.

  “How could I forget? We used to play it to death,” Marisa laughed.

  “I want you to sing it tomorrow if it’s okay with you.”

  Everyone in the room got quiet to hear her answer. What Jax and Mario didn’t know was Marisa had the voice of an Angel. She didn’t sing too often, but when she did, she went hard.

  “Of course Nadi, I would be honored.” Marisa smiled.

  Before anyone could go any further, there was a knock at the door. “I got it,” Nadia said. She walked to the door to find a woman standing on the other side.

  “Hello, you must be Nadia,” the woman said.

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  “I’m Jennifer. I was Nicole’s lawyer. Raelynn invited me here to speak with you about a few things.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, come in.” Nadia stepped to the side so Jennifer could come in.

  Once again, the room got quiet when Jennifer and Nadia walked back in. Everyone but Raelynn was trying to figure out what was going on.

  “Hey Jennifer, thank you for coming,” Raelynn said.

  “No problem,” Jennifer said as she sat next to Raelynn and pulled some papers from her briefcase. “First, I want to give my condolences. I’ve had the pleasure to get to know and be around Nicole so I know she was a joyous and outgoing woman.”

  “Thank you,” Nadia smiled.

  “Okay, so here in my hands I have some very important documents that me and Nicole had been working on and perfecting for some time. The first one I have is her will. I have a copy for my records, and I have a copy for you also,” Jennifer said as she handed Nadia the paper.

  Nadia looked over them and was shocked. Her mother basically had left everything to her. The house was paid off and was left to Nadia as well as the car. She had even left Nadia full guardianship of Nyzir. That one really threw her for a loop because she just knew she would have wanted Neeman to take care of them.

  “So I can finish raising Nyzir and not have to worry about anyone trying to take him from me?” Nadia asked just to be sure.

  “Exactly,” Jennifer agreed. “There’s some paperwork that you have to sign but after that, he’s all yours. I also have something else here for you to read.”

  Nadia took the paper and the word ‘settlement’ stuck out to her. Nadia thought Nicole had left the idea alone about suing the hospital and all this time she had actually gone through with it. “Oh, my God!” Nadia gasped when she got to the amount. “Five million?”

  Mario and Jax let out a low whistle at the amount of money. Marisa was stuck in shock and Raelynn was smiling from ear to ear. For a while, she and Nicole had been working on this settlement and thanks to Jennifer they won. Raelynn knew that no amount of money was worth what happened or would bring Nicole back, but at least her kids would be well off without her. Which is exactly what Nicole wanted. She didn’t want either of her kids to want for anything or have to struggle without her.

  “Wait, so she left all this for me? What about Neeman and Nyzir?” Nadia asked confused.

  “Well, she actually left it for you to be in control over. She knew that you would be the more responsible one out of the three of you.”

  “Wow, this is a lot for me to take in. All this time I never knew she even had a lawyer or was even thinking about doing all this stuff.” Nadia shook her head in amazement.

  Jennifer smiled. “I would always come by when you and your brother were at school. She told me you were always worried about her, and she didn’t want you to keep worrying about unnecessary stuff.”

  “I see,” Nadia mumbled as she looked over the paperwork once again.

  ___

  It was three o’clock in the morning, and Nadia couldn’t sleep. She looked to her left and smiled slightly. She was wondering what she did to have someone so awesome and caring come into her life unexpectedly. He had been there for her all week, making sure she was okay, making sure she and Nyzir ate, helping out with the funeral arrangements and everything.

  She slowly crept out of bed making sure not to wake him. She walked down the hall to her mother’s room. She hadn’t been in there since before Nicole went into the hospital. She walked over to her bed, sat down and looked around the room. She smiled thinking of all the times she and her mother sat in here and talked about any and everything. She looked to her right and on the dresser sat a picture of her family when everything was better. She had her mom and dad, her brother was home and even Nyzir looked happier. She found herself wanting to cry, but she sucked it up and shook it off. Now was not the time for her to be breaking down. She had to keep it all together, not just for herself, but also for Nyzir. She had always been the strong one. The one everyone depended on and leaned on.

  Mario rolled over to wrap his arms around Nadia to find that she wasn‘t there. He noticed the bedroom door was open, and a little light was coming from down the hall. He got out of the bed and slowly walked down the hall. He stood in the doorway and watched Nadia as she stared at a picture. He wanted to go in and comfort her, but he realized that this was her time, and she needed it to herself. He watched as she lay on the bed clutching the picture to her chest. He walked backward away from the door and went back to her room.

  ___

  Hours later, everyone was piling into the limo to head to the funeral. Nadia, Mario, Marisa, Jax, Nyzir, and Raelynn rode to the church in silence. Everyone was stuck in his or her own thoughts. The sky was cloudy, and it was threatening to rain which caused a gloomy feeling. Nadia laid her head on Mario‘s shoulder as she intertwined her left hand with his and her right hand with her brother. Even though there was no sun out, she was hiding behind some sunglasses just in case some tears got loose.

  They slowly filed out of the car once it pulled up to the church. They let Nadia and Nyzir go first, then Raelynn and Marisa with Mario and Jax bringing up the rear. Nadia grabbed her brother’s hand as they walked in the church and down the aisle to the casket. Her legs started to feel wobbly. Nadia smiled slightly because Nicole looked so peaceful. She wore a smile, and her makeup looked perfect. She leaned down and kissed her mother’s cold cheek.

  Nyzir rubbed Nicole‘s hair as the tears slowly rolled down his face. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before he turned at the sound of chains. The two smiled at the sight of their older brother walking in their direction. The one thing Nadia wanted came to pass, for Neeman to be able to say a final goodbye.

  They stepped to the side so he would be able to get a look at her. After looking at her for a few, he kissed her. Nadia and Nyzir rushed their brother and hugged him tightly. “I love y‘all,” he said.

  “We love you too.”

  As the funeral carried on, there was not a dry eye in the building. Nicole was a much loved woman, and that was proven today. Now it was time for Marisa to sing her solo. Before she went up there, she hugged Nadia tightly. Once she started signing, everyone started sobbing. The words started to pain Nadia‘s heart the more Marisa sang Maxwell‘s Woman‘s Work.

  I know you got a little life in you left

  I know you got a lot of strength left

  I should be crying,but I just can’t let it show

  Reality was starting to set in for Nadia. Her mother, her protector, her world, her confidant wa
s gone. She couldn‘t take it anymore, and she broke down. Once the tears started, it was like they wouldn‘t stop. Both Mario and Nyzir wrapped their arms around her to let her know that they were there for her.

  -9-

  It had been three days since Nicole‘s funeral. Jax and Mario were back into their normal routine. They had put their business on pause to be there for the girls and Zir, but it was back to the drawing board for them. It was cool though because as soon as they were done, they were going back home to their ladies.

  Jax maneuvered the car through the empty Brooklyn streets following behind their next victim. Mario tied his black bandana around his face and checked his clip to make sure it was full just in case. Jax made sure he stayed at least three car lengths behind the target so he wouldn‘t set off any alarms. Unfortunately, he was too late.

  “Yo boss, you see that black impala that’s been following us since we left the club?” Cato asked his boss.

  “I‘m already three steps ahead of you,” Kaner said as he glanced in his rearview mirror. He made a sharp left turn to see if the car would follow him and sure enough, they did.

  “What the fuck is this nigga doing?” Jax asked. They watched as Kaner slowed down and came to a complete stop.

  “Shit, keep going. He‘s on to us,” Mario said.

  Jax did as his cousin said and kept going to try and play it off. Kaner rolled his window down and aimed his gun. When they rolled past, he let off two shots, hoping he hit whoever was trying to get at him.

  “Fuck!” Jax yelled as he swerved a little. “Yo, you straight son?” He asked Mario.

  “Yeahh, I got knocked, but I‘m straight. It’s just a flesh wound,” Mario said as he looked at his side. “Just take me to Nadi‘s.”

  ___

  Nadia couldn‘t sleep. She was so used to sleeping next to Mario, but he ran out to do whatever the hell it is that he does. She turned on some music thinking that would help make her sleepy. She sat on her bed and listened to the music. She started crying once Woman‘s Work came on. It was reminding her of her mother.