The Whole Truth

by Kit Pearson

  Daddy had left.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  A FAMILY MEETING

  Dear Maud and Polly,

  I’m so sorry I didn’t say goodbye, but I’ve decided that leaving is best for all of us. I shouldn’t have come. I’ve put Polly into a deceitful and dishonest position all week and that’s not right. I’ve renewed our relationship when you were both probably starting to forget about me.

  The trouble is, I love the two of you so deeply that I had to come. Even though my being here stirred up so much turmoil, I’m grateful I saw my two best girls again and that they both seem so well and happy.

  I don’t think I should see you again until you are adults. It’s too difficult when we have to be underhanded about it, and it’s too painful when we can’t be together all the time.

  My dearest girls, I can’t bear for us to be out of touch again. I’m going to write to your grandmother and tell her I’m alive. There’s a risk that the family will tell the police, but I imagine that the publicity and scandal that would result will keep them from reporting me.

  I’ll also tell her I was here and that Polly is not to be scolded for hiding me. After my next stint of work I’ll send her some money to pay for the food I ate.

  I’m going to ask her if I can write to you. If she says yes, I’ll give a post office box number in Kelowna and you can write to me there. But I don’t want to send you my address until your grandmother gives her permission. She’s your legal guardian now and I have to respect her wishes.

  Dearest Maud, as the eldest, you have suffered the most through all of this and I don’t blame you for wanting me out of your life. I fervently hope, however, that eventually you can bring yourself to write to me and that you’ll remember that I’m exactly the same father you have always loved, and who loves you so deeply that I cannot express it.

  Doodle, I am so heartened that you believe I am innocent. When the family finds out I’m alive, however, you’re going to hear a great many things against me, so try to hold on to your trust in me, and try not to be angry with them.

  I’m devastated that we can’t be together for so long, but I was also glad to see how happy you both are. I want you to stay happy. I want Maud to be the best head girl that St. Winifred’s ever had, and to graduate with distinction. I want Polly to savour her last year at her present school and to go to St. Winifred’s bravely, with an open mind.

  You are both such clever girls that I hope you will go to university; I’m sure your grandmother will be happy to pay for it. After you graduate you’ll be adults at last, and we can see one another again.

  Please accept my apologies for causing you so much trouble, and please remember every day how very much I love you. I look forward to hearing from you both.

  Your ever loving Daddy

  Polly skimmed the letter, then read it again more slowly. She started to sob as the words registered. Then she gasped. There was no steamer tonight, so Daddy must still be on the island!

  Shoving the letter into her pocket, Polly dashed to the trees where she had first seen Daddy—only a week ago. She searched all along the beach but couldn’t find him.

  Gregor and Maud were bobbing in the rowboat by the point. The sea was so still that she could hear Maud laugh. How could she?

  Then Polly spotted another boat: a crab boat slowly put-putting out into the pass between Kingfisher Island and Walker Island—heading towards Vancouver.

  She dashed to the end of the wharf. A young man was crouched there, emptying crabs from a trap. Polly knew everyone on the island—he was David Hayes.

  “Hi, there, kiddo,” said David.

  “Do you know who’s in that boat?” Polly asked frantically.

  “Yup. My brother Frank and a stranger. He waved to us as we were coming in with our traps and offered to pay us to take him to the mainland. It’s such a calm evening that Frank said he would. Frank will have to spend the night in Steveston, but he can stay with our sister.”

  Polly wanted to scream at the boat to come back, but it was too far away. She waved uselessly as it disappeared from sight.

  “Do you know who that fellow was?” asked David. “I’ve never seen him here before. He said he’d come to the island to find work, but of course he had no luck. I was surprised he had money he looked so hard up.”

  Polly couldn’t answer. She trudged back to the house and up the stairs to Maud’s room to wait for her.

  “I won’t write to him,” said Maud, putting down the letter.

  “But you have to, Maud! He’ll be so hurt if you don’t! He’s your father!”

  “He’s not my father any longer. I’m … I’m disowning him.”

  “What does that mean?” whispered Polly.

  “I’m not recognizing him as my father. You can, if you like. But what Daddy did was wrong. He’s a thief and he’s also a liar, because he won’t admit he took the money. I can’t forgive him for that and I don’t want to have anything to do with him.”

  Polly glowered at her. “If you don’t, then I’m going to disown you!”

  “Calm down, Doodle. I know you’re angry at me, but you’re just going to have to accept that we disagree.”

  Maud was in control again, the calm and reasonable head girl. She smiled tightly at Polly. “At least Daddy’s gone. It was so stressful having him here! Can’t we still be friends?”

  No! thought Polly, but she couldn’t speak. She listened in disbelief as Maud said, “I’m going to make some new rules for us, Doodle.” She got out a piece of paper and wrote silently for a few minutes.

  Polly sank onto Maud’s bed. She longed to leave the room, but her legs were rubber. Daddy has gone, Daddy has gone, she kept telling herself. Nothing else mattered.

  “Okay!” said Maud. “Here are the rules. Number one: You can write to Daddy as much as you like, but I won’t. And tell him not to write to me.”

  Polly made her voice work. “Could you at least read his letters?”

  “All right, if you want me to. Rule number two: You can talk to me about Daddy, but we’re not going to discuss whether he stole the money. We’re never going to agree, and arguing about it will only drive us further apart.”

  “But Maud, you used to believe Daddy was innocent! Why don’t you now?”

  “I only thought he was innocent because he told me he was. But I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and it just doesn’t make sense that he is. I could give you lots of reasons, but what’s the point? Let’s go on to rule number three, which is the same as before: We can’t tell anyone outside of the family that Daddy is alive, or that he was accused of stealing. And rule number four is that we’re each going to carry on our lives as they were before Daddy came. That’s the only way we’ll be happy, Doodle. Do you agree to keep these rules?”

  “No, I don’t, and you can’t make me. I don’t care about your stupid rules!” Finally Polly had the strength to get up and leave. She turned at the door. “I think you’re completely wrong to be against Daddy, Maud. I don’t like you any more!”

  Polly didn’t speak to Maud for the rest of the weekend. After Sunday supper the family walked her to the wharf. Polly let Maud hug her goodbye because everyone would think it was strange if she didn’t. She kept her body stiff, however, and avoided Maud’s eyes.

  As soon as Polly got back to the house, she went straight to bed. On Monday morning she told Noni she was sick. That was true—her head pounded and her stomach churned. She spent the whole day in bed, mostly sleeping. In the evening she came downstairs in her dressing gown and sipped some soup at the kitchen table, feeling as if she had emerged from a battle.

  “Are you feeling better, hen?” asked Noni. “Maud’s visit seems to have been a trying one. Did you discuss everything you wanted to? Is there anything you want to talk to me about?”

  If only Noni knew! Well she would, as soon as she heard from Daddy. Polly longed to spill out everything, but she would wait for his letter.

  Polly went back to
school on Tuesday. She told Vivien and Biddy she wouldn’t talk about anything until after school. Then Vivien cornered her.

  “Well?” she asked. “Are you going to tell us who that man was?”

  “Let’s go to the cabin,” said Polly. “Then I’ll tell you.”

  Polly’s heart twisted as they approached the cabin. She wanted so badly for Daddy to be sitting on his stump outside the door! But all that was left were some dirty dishes and the books and chess set. Biddy and Vivien stared at these things curiously and waited for Polly to speak.

  She couldn’t think of a lie and she was tired of secrets. “My father was here,” she said bluntly.

  “Your father?”

  “But your father’s dead!”

  “He’s not dead,” said Polly. “He only pretended to be.”

  Slowly she told them the whole story—all except the stealing. She couldn’t be sure that they would believe Daddy was innocent.

  At the end Biddy looked stunned and Vivien suspicious.

  “But Polly, you said your father had drowned! Didn’t they find a body? Wasn’t there a funeral? How do we know you aren’t making this up?”

  Polly tried to suppress her anger. “Of course they didn’t find a body because he didn’t drown! They believed he drowned because he left a note saying he was going to kill himself by walking into the river. And there was a funeral because everyone thought he was dead—but he wasn’t! And why would I make it up? You saw him!”

  “We saw a strange man,” said Vivien slowly. “But he was so scruffy and ragged. He didn’t look like anyone’s father.”

  “He’d travelled all the way from the Okanagan. And he has no money for clothes. You can believe what you want, Vivien, but I’m telling the truth!”

  Not the whole truth. But it was such a relief to tell most of the truth—that Daddy was alive and had been here.

  “I believe you, Polly,” said Biddy. “She’s right, Vivien—why would Polly meet with a stranger? It must have been her father.”

  “Okay, I believe you too. But why did he pretend to drown?” asked Vivien. “It’s such a weird thing to do!”

  Polly was prepared for this. “He pretended he had drowned so we could come and live on the island. A long time ago my mother had an argument with my grandmother. She made Daddy promise he’d never bring us here. But then, when we were so poor, Daddy was desperate. He staged his own death so we’d have to come and he wouldn’t be breaking his promise.”

  “That’s so noble!” cried Biddy. “He gave you and Maud up so you’d have a better life! It’s just like a movie! He sounds like a wonderful man. Oh, Polly, you must have been so glad to see him after so long!”

  “Gave you and Maud up”: what terrible words. “He—he is a wonderful man,” Polly stuttered. “I was really glad to see him. But my father’s gone back to the Okanagan now and I won’t see him again until I’m grown up.”

  “That’s such a long time to wait,” said Biddy.

  Polly tried not to cry. “Listen, you two. You have to promise never to tell anyone this. If you do …” Oh, help. She couldn’t say that if they did, Daddy might be put in jail.

  Then Biddy rescued her. “Of course we won’t tell! If we did, then maybe you’d be sent to live with your father now! I’d hate that!”

  Polly looked at Vivien. “I wouldn’t like that either,” she admitted, giving Polly a small smile.

  Could Polly trust her? She had no choice.

  “Let’s clean up the cabin!” said Biddy.

  Polly picked up a broom, as if everything was just the same.

  For the rest of that week Polly felt as if she were slowly waking up from a long, jangled dream. Everything on the surface was normal. She went to school, she played with Tarka and her friends, and she talked to her family.

  But every night she lay in bed and tried to sort out her turmoil. What a lot had happened since she had turned twelve!

  She missed Daddy terribly: she missed his face and voice and touch, she missed looking after him, she missed talking to him and listening to his stories and sitting in his lap and playing chess. But she didn’t miss the tension and guilt of hiding him.

  She hated to admit it, but part of her was even glad he had gone. Now she could resume her normal, secure life. She wanted to be with Daddy and she didn’t want to wait for years until she could be; yet she was also glad she could stay here with Noni. The island seemed so much her real home now that she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

  At least she would be able to write to Daddy—surely Noni would let her. And surely Maud would come around and love and accept him again. Maybe Polly would even forgive Maud—but not yet.

  On boat days Polly listened avidly for the whistle of the steamer. Then she ran to the wharf and joined the small crowd waiting for the mail. Finally, about ten days after Daddy had left, his letter came: an envelope addressed to Mrs. Gilbert Whitfield in his clear, round handwriting.

  Polly handed it to Noni without a word. Then she went up to her room so Noni could read it undisturbed.

  “Oh, no!” Polly heard Noni cry. Then she called Polly downstairs. “Is it true?” she whispered. Her hand trembled as she held the letter.

  Polly nodded mutely.

  “Your father is alive? You saw him?”

  “Oh, Noni …” Polly stumbled out the story of that long, difficult week. “I’m so sorry I stole food and lied to you,” she finished.

  Noni’s lips were trembling even more than her hands. “It’s all right, hen,” she quavered. “What you did was wrong, but it’s understandable under the circumstances.” She stood up and took a deep breath. “Now, Polly, it’s going to take me a while to absorb this. It’s such a shock! Maud will have to come home again. Obviously we all have a lot to talk about, but that will have to wait until she’s here. In the meantime we’ll carry on normally. I don’t want you to worry about this. You’ve already had more than enough to bear. Will you be all right by yourself while I tell Jean and Rand?”

  Polly barely had time to nod. Noni seldom moved quickly, but now she actually ran to the rectory. Polly was handed the phone, even though she didn’t want to talk to Maud.

  “This is such a nuisance,” Maud complained. “I’m supposed to read the lesson in church this week! Oh, well, I know I have to come, and it will be good to see you again, Doodle. After this it will be set-tied,“ she added firmly, as if she were packing all that had happened into a box. She didn’t seem to notice that Polly didn’t answer.

  Several days that week Polly arrived home from school to find a note from Noni saying that she was over at the rectory. Polly knew they were all discussing Daddy. But every night at dinner no one said a word about him. They were gentle with Polly and kept giving her concerned looks. Some evenings Aunt Jean had puffy eyes, as if she’d been weeping. Noni had such deep circles under her own eyes that Polly knew she was barely sleeping. Were they happy that Daddy was alive? Polly wouldn’t know until Maud came home.

  For all of Polly’s life her sister had been her ally, even though they had grown apart in the last few years. Now that was over. By betraying Daddy, Maud had betrayed Polly as well.

  But could Polly really disown her? She still needed Maud. They were still sisters.

  Maybe, now that Maud had had time to think about it, she had changed her mind. Maybe when she came she would help Polly stick up for Daddy. Then Polly would forgive her and they would be friends again.

  As soon as Maud arrived home on Saturday afternoon, two meetings took place: one in Noni’s bedroom and one with the whole family in the living room.

  Noni asked them to sit on her bed, while she paced in front of them. “First of all, Maud, I want you to know that Polly and I have already talked about how wrong she was to lie and steal for her father. I understand why she needed to. I also understand how you couldn’t tell us Daniel didn’t drown. You made a promise to him.”

  Maud simply nodded. The skin on her face was as taut as if her braids
were still pulling it back.

  “I’m very glad for you, girls, that your father is alive,” continued Noni. Her words sounded forced. “You must have been amazed to see him!”

  Maud didn’t answer, but Polly’s eyes prickled as she remembered hearing the song on the beach.

  “It’s such an astounding thing he did, to pretend he had drowned,” continued Noni, “and what a tremendous secret for you both to keep!”

  “We did, though,” said Maud. “We didn’t tell anyone, did we, Poll?”

  Polly refused to respond to Maud until she knew her position. “Every time you mentioned Daddy I wanted to tell,” she said to Noni.

  “Well, now the secret is out.” Noni took Polly’s hand. “We have a lot more to discuss, but let’s include the rest of the family. Come downstairs now, girls.”

  Aunt Jean and Uncle Rand and Gregor were waiting in the living room. They stated in strained voices how glad they were that Daddy was alive. They didn’t sound at all glad, but as serious and solemn as if they were saying that he had died.

  “Daniel has asked me if he can write to you, hens,” said Noni, “but I’m of two minds about it. It seems unkind to stop him, but it’s against my better judgment.”

  Polly whirled around to stare at her. Why?

  Then she found out. “Maud and Polly, we know how thrilled you must be that Daniel is alive,” said Uncle Rand slowly, “but we feel we must tell you our position. Daniel is still a thief—that’s a fact that hasn’t changed.”

  “He didn’t do it!” cried Polly.

  “Hush, dear, and let me finish. It’s very difficult for a child your age to imagine that your own father would do such a thing. I admire your loyalty, but all the evidence is against Daniel. The money was found in his possession.”

  “But someone put it there!” cried Polly.

  Aunt Jean put her arm on Polly’s shoulder, but Polly shrugged it off. “Listen, chickie,” she said gently. “Why would anyone do that? It’s very clear that your father stole the money. Why would he run away? And he said nothing in his letter about being innocent.”