Eden’s head pounded right above her temple. The right thing to say was “yes” but Eden wasn’t sure she could. Not now. It was easier to stay angry and unforgiving. It hardened what little heart he hadn’t taken from her. When she didn’t hate him, she loved him. And loving him was as wrong as hating him.
“I don’t know.”
“He made a mistake. He’s been paying for it every day. He loved Nathan. You know he did. And you love the man.”
“I don’t,” she croaked.
“You do.” He twisted a strand of her hair in his fingers. “I know he owns a bar. I know he’s been a womanizer and partier. But I’ve seen a change in him lately. Hasn’t had a woman on his arm in a almost month—that’s a record. Turns every single one away and takes ridicule from the men when he does. I have to wonder if the reason he’s turning them away is because he’s finally fell in love with the right woman.”
Eden’s breath hitched. He had? Was Knox turning down company?
“I just didn’t realize until the other day when you whacked him with that money it was you.”
“I’m not sure Knox loves anyone but Knox.”
“Hmmph.” He tugged his hat lower on his head. “See you at the hockey game.” He kissed her head and left the way he came.
Knox Everhart. In love. With her.
Didn’t matter. He wasn’t a man of faith. It would never work.
***
“Last chance. We score this last goal and we win. Remember what I taught you, Eli. Lock on to his eyes, shift your shoulders left and then slide out on the right. A shoulder deke. Jake will fend off the right wing and you fake left, fake right, and you’ll be at the goal.”
Eli nodded. “But what if I miss?”
Knox gripped the boy’s shoulder. “Then you have other games to practice and try again. It’s not about perfection, Eli. It’s about progress. If we don’t win, so what. We’re better today than we were yesterday, right?”
He’d learned that thanks to reading his Bible and his counseling sessions with Gabriel, which were easier to handle since Gabriel made it clear he wasn’t interested in Eden. Worked for Knox. He’d hate to have to be the one to send the preacher to meet his maker. But putting moves on the woman he hoped would be his alone wasn’t going to keep a man alive very long.
He might not be able to win over Eden, but he planned to try. After he gave her some space. The last couple of days he’d worked to put a few things in his life in order. If she wouldn’t believe his words, maybe she’d see through his actions that he was a new creation. Hopefully by the time she came around—if she came around—he’d have the swearing knocked out at the very least.
Knox searched the crowd. Eden sat beside Audrey, sucking the breath out of him. Would she always do that?
Lord, I don’t deserve her.
Catching his eye, she glanced away, bruising his heart.
“All right. Let’s do this!” Knox skated to the sidelines as his little hockey team positioned themselves according to his instructions. Their faithful obedience swelled in his chest. The whistle blew, and Jimmy took control of the puck, passing it off to Eli.
Come on, little guy! God, help him.
The opponent was hunched over in front of Eli. Eli faked left and the other boy slid left but then Eli jerked right with lightning speed, sending the puck to Jake. When he skated near the goal, Jake passed it back and Eli raised his stick, smacked the puck…
Score!
Knox clapped his hands. Pride for Eli and for the whole team filled him to the full, and he hit the ice at full force.
The crowd cheered and applauded.
Knox snatched up Eli and spun him around. Could he love a kid more? “You did it. I’m so proud of you, champ.”
Eli beamed and Knox put him down. His teammates cheered and patted his back.
“I’m proud of all you guys.”
Eden hung back and called for Eli. He skated to her, arms high in the air. “I did it, Mom. Knox taught me how to do it.”
She glanced at Knox and nodded. But her eyes weren’t as warm as he’d have liked. He returned the nod and was bombarded by excited parents gushing with approval.
He only wanted one woman’s.
After the rounds of congratulations, he grabbed up a pair of gloves from the ice. Eli’s. Knox rushed to the parking lot, but missed them. He loaded his stuff up in the truck and headed into town.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Eden finished making homemade hot chocolate and had put some slice-and-bake sugar cookies in the oven. Chili had simmered all morning. Her stomach rumbled. Eli had used up all the hot water after the game. He was now sitting in front of the TV watching Will Ferrell in Elf.
She needed a little more firewood. Stepping outside, she grabbed a log. The slam of a car door caught her attention. Knox clambered out of his truck with a bundle in his arms. Was that a baby? He headed for the nativity and knelt down in front of the manger. Eden laid the log down and watched.
Had Knox stolen baby Jesus? No. The stolen one had a white blanket swaddling him. This baby was wrapped in a blue blanket. Blond hair, not brown.
Eden scooted behind the holly bush, that was getting way out of control, and studied him. What was he doing? He cradled the baby. His mouth moved. Was he talking to a doll? Was he drunk?
He tenderly stroked the doll’s head and reverently placed it in the manger, then raised his head up to the sky and beamed. After a nod of what looked to be satisfaction, he turned toward her house.
Uh oh! She jerked around and tripped over the log, crashing into the snow. Rolling over, Knox towered her, a smirk on his face. “Whacha doin?”
Spying on what might be either a drunken or intimate moment. It’s hard to tell with you. Drunk seems more likely.
“Um…snow angels. I love them. Sometimes, I get a wild hair and have to come out and make them.” She flapped her arms over her head to form a snow halo then followed suit with her legs, creating the angel.
Knox raised an eyebrow. “Uh, huh. And I thought you tripped getting firewood. Was going to offer you a hand.”
Tripping over firewood. Now that would have made more sense. “Uh…nope. Snow angels.”
He folded his arms and stared at her.
“What?”
His eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t place, but it sent warm shivers all through her, and her stomach dipped. No. She was mad at him. Mad was easier.
“Nothing. I brought Eli’s gloves home.”
Now that she’d made the snow angel, she didn’t want to ruin it. “Help me up?”
“You sure the wild hair is gone?”
She huffed. “Yes.”
He held out a hand and hauled her up. “Eden, we haven’t talked about that night at the bar.”
“Nothing to say.” She grabbed the log.
“I didn’t get to say much of anything, and half of what you said was incoherent.” He followed her to the steps.
“You let drunks drive. And they killed my husband. Your best friend. What is left to say?” She regretted the fire in her tongue.
“You’re right, I did. And he was.” He closed his eyes, inhaled. “I need your forgiveness, Eden.”
Eden climbed the stairs, unable to face him. “I don’t know if I can give it. It hurts too much and…and I just don’t know.”
Eli bounced out of the house, his mouth revealed he’d poured a cup of cocoa. “Coach Knox! You staying for dinner?”
“No, champ. I have things to do.”
Eden sighed. The last thing she wanted was to entertain him for dinner. Hopefully, Eli wouldn’t push it.
“Hey, where do you go for Christmas? You don’t have a wife or kids, do you?”
Eli!
“I don’t have a wife or kids…yet. I hang out with Ophelia.”
Eli grinned. “Your dog? That’s all you have? Who buys you Christmas presents?”
Eden put her hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Eli, that’s enough. Go on in the house.�
�
“You should come to our house for Christmas. We’ll buy you presents.”
“Thanks for the offer, bud.”
Eli bolted into the house, and Eden jumped when the door slammed. Knox spent every Christmas alone. No presents. No loved ones. Her heart tripped up and softened. She turned. “You really have nowhere to go on Christmas?”
Knox climbed two stairs, making himself eye level with her. “I’m fine.” His clean aftershave and pine scent tickled her senses.
“No presents?”
One edge of his mouth tipped up, dark, dreamy eyes lazily gazed into hers. “What I want doesn’t cost money. But a price was paid for it, Eden.” He poked his lips out and drew them back, smiled. “Get that log on the fire. It’s cold.” With that, he turned and shuffled through the snow to his truck.
What did he want?
Forgiveness.
Eden’s forgiveness.
“Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.”
“God brought you alive—right along with Christ! Think of it! All sins forgiven, the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant canceled and nailed to Christ’s cross.”
Forgiveness had been paid for by Christ.
Eden’s. Knox’s.
Eden’s sight traveled to the nativity scene, and she shivered as she made her way over. Brand new baby Jesus. Lying in a manger. Tears dripped down her cheeks.
“I know I need to forgive him. But I don’t need to love him.” She caressed the baby’s head. “I’m afraid if I forgive, I won’t be able to keep from the latter.”
She trusted God and if she forgave, she could trust Him to steer her in the right direction. To the right person. “Do you have someone else for me, Lord?”
A new year, a new season was coming. Her father was going to get healthy and whole, her parsonage was going to who it rightfully belonged to: Gabriel. No longer was she going to be seen as the pastor’s wife. And that was okay.
Her hair still wet from the snow angel-making, she shivered and rushed to the house, then halted and turned back.
How would Knox know a price had been paid for sins? Why would he use those words? And why exactly had he been cradling the Savior? Was he, had he been…praying? Reading his Bible?
No. Wishful dreaming.
Eden believed in hope, but as each day passed she feared there might not be much hope for Knox. Not because it wasn’t there waiting, but because he kept turning it down.
But maybe…
***
Cassie boxed up the last of the glasses. “I won’t miss this place.”
Knox stretched and yawned. “As a bar? No, I won’t either. But those who want a drink will find one.”
“True. Not from your hands, though.” She taped the box. “I’m not against a drink. Or a good time, but I’ve been realizing what constitutes a healthy good time and what doesn’t. Waking up the next morning with a headache and a man I can’t remember, does not a good time make. Feel me?”
Knox chuckled. “I feel ya.” Been there. Done that.
“Have you told her? I’d think by now she’s at least heard.” Cassie handed off the box to Knox, and he stacked them along the wall.
“She doesn’t run with the crowd that would tell her, and it won’t be official till day after Christmas.”
The Penalty Box was closed. Knox didn’t belong in it. He didn’t have to be smacked into the boards anymore. Like Gabe said, the penalty had been paid. It was time to break out into freedom.
This place was going to be used. Just not for a place to drink away the sorrows. Not at his hand or anyone else’s. He prayed his regulars would find the same kind of drink that had brought him hope.
“You going to take the coaching position since Landon and Jennifer have their hands full?”
The baby had survived, but it was a long road ahead. And Inman really had no clue about how to play hockey. He grinned. “I am.”
Cassie poured a soda. “Coming to the Christmas Eve service tomorrow night?”
That had yet to be determined. Would Eden want him there? Yes, if she thought it’d save his soul, but that had already been taken care of. Would she want him there as a man who was in love with her?
No. Probably not.
“We’ll see.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Eden surveyed the new sanctuary. It smelled new. Fresh paint. The stained glass windows had been shined, the oak pews had sage green cushioning that matched the earthy-toned carpet. Cassie had done a wonderful job decorating.
Poinsettias lined the stage steps, huge arches wrapped in fresh pine and holly berries sat center, left, and right. Candelabras held white candles, the flames flickering. Surprised Gabe said they could light candles.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Gabriel slipped beside her. “You’ve done a wonderful job, Eden. You’ve kept this congregation afloat even though you’ve grieved yourself. I think moving from the parsonage will take some of the responsibility you feel off your shoulders.”
“I can’t imagine not serving, but I can’t be the pastor’s wife. You need to find one in a hurry.” She giggled.
“I have my eyes on someone. Not sure she knows I exist. She’d rather spend the evening with her cats.”
Eden chuckled then sobered. “Wait. Audrey? You—you’re interested in Audrey?”
“Why not? She’s your best friend, and you have good taste in people.” He winked.
“I don’t know.” Knox Everhart couldn’t be considered in good taste. Even if he did taste good. Her stomach fluttered. Oh good grief. “Audrey’s great though. She’s just…Audrey. Oblivious and free-spirited. In a good way.”
“Mmm…” He raised his hand and touched the plant above the window. “Do you think hanging mistletoe all over the church was smart?” They were over every door too.
“We live in Mistletoe. And it’s a fun tradition. Don’t worry, the saints won’t stop to neck.”
They laughed.
“Mmm…Thirty minutes to show time. I see baby Jesus showed back up.”
Eden ran her hand down the lemon-polished wooden pew. “Knox brought it. A new one. Why do you think he did that?”
“Why do you?”
Eden twirled her hair around her fingers. “I went ballistic about it. Peace offering?”
“Or something else. Maybe he’s putting things in their rightful place.”
“Jesus belonging in the manger?”
“Jesus belonging in empty places.”
Oh.
“We all make mistakes. I bet you’ve even made one or two, yes?”
Eden’s cheeks flushed. “I will forgive him. I have. But I’m in big trouble, Gabriel, because I can’t be around him. Not when…”
“When you love him? I don’t think you need to worry about that. Merry Christmas, friend.” He gave her a side hug and left her alone.
***
The small cantata finished with “Joy to the World,” not a dry eye in the place. Eden sat in the front row basking in the peace of God. Pop squeezed her hand.
Gabriel took the stage. “Almost midnight and what a wonderful way to celebrate the birth of our Lord. The Word made flesh. Tonight let us light our candles and remember that we are the light of the world. His light in us. To bring Him honor and glory.”
They went by rows and lit their small white candles, then returned to their pews. A holy hush fell upon them, as almost one hundred lights flickered. Inside Eden’s heart, light grew by leaps and bounds. She breathed a prayer for Knox.
“I’m going to read from Isaiah nine, six and seven. ‘For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity.’”
Eden wiped her eyes.
Prince of Peace. Yes. Peace filled her to the brim.
“Tonight we give thanks for a Savior who came to save us from our sins. To rescue us. And He rescues us still.”
The piano and violin softly played “Silent Night” as the congregation and choir sang along. When Gabe had prayed and offered everyone a Merry Christmas, and after hugs and a few kisses under the mistletoe took place, the congregation filtered out.
“I’ll take Eli on home. If you want.” Pop had a tired Eli in his arms.
“Sure. I’m going to make sure the candles are blown out and…and I want some alone time. Merry Christmas, Pop.” She kissed Eli’s cheek and turned to watch them go.
Leaning against the back wall, Knox wore trendy dark jeans, a fitted white dress shirt and a satiny charcoal vest. Good grief, he did designer as well as he did bad boy or casual.
When Pop passed him, he patted Knox’s shoulder. Gabriel stuck his head in the sanctuary. “I’m going to go. I don’t think you need me.”
Eden glanced from Knox to Gabe. “I’ll lock up.”
“Merry Christmas, you two.” Gabe fist-bumped Knox and let himself out. What was that about?
Knox pushed off the wall but didn’t come toward her. “That was amazing.”
Eden clutched the top of the pew. “You were here the whole time?”
“I was.”
He came. The hope-fulfilled expression in his eyes—it hadn’t been for her. He’d attended for himself.
“You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful, Eden. I was so jealous of Nathan. That summer you hung around the quarry, I thought a hundred times about seducing you, but I loved Nathan too much and…and you were—are—so much more than a conquest or an object to be had.”
Eden’s breath turned shaky. “I didn’t realize you’d been jealous.”
“No. I suppose not. I have never been worthy of your love. I’ve never felt worthy of anyone’s love.” He crept toward her. “I meant it when I said I never wanted to hurt you. I knew you needed to know my involvement in Nathan’s death, but I was terrified to tell you. You’d opened the door of your life—just a sliver—and I wanted to stay there. I still do.”
What was he saying?
“Eden, I’m willing to live in a sliver of your life if that’s all you’re willing to give.”
Hope Under Mistletoe (Seasons of Hope Book 1) Page 9
