“No baby Jesus yet?”
Eden huffed. “No. I keep thinking someone will feel guilty and bring him back. Thanks for coming to our rescue, Knox.” She laid a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Take the keys and go ahead inside. Jump in the shower. Thaw out.”
“All right.” He gave Knox a fist bump and clambered over Eden and out of the truck. When he was inside, she turned to Knox.
“About the other night—”
“I overstepped my bounds in a big way, and I’m sorry. And I didn’t mean to yell at you, Eden, I was just…” He threw his hand in the air as if lost for words or not able to get the right ones out.
Eden scooted closer to him, hoping it wouldn’t ignite round two. “I’m to blame, Knox. I lost my senses for a minute. You warned me and I didn’t listen.” More like didn’t care.
His eyes narrowed, and his eyebrows twisted together. “Even so. I had no business pawing at you like some kind of…I don’t know what. You’re too good for that, Eden. You’re special.”
How should she respond to that? “Let’s put it under the bridge like the last misunderstanding we had. I want us to be friends, Knox. I like…it’s nice.”
“Friends. I’m rarely friends with a woman, Eden.”
“I know. But can’t we be?” Eden had come to treasure time with him. And that was okay as long as it stayed a friendship. But could it? Knox needed to be put at arm’s length. For her. For her son. If he became too dependent on Knox, it could damage Eli.
He popped a peppermint stick and smiled around it. “Sure. Go on and get inside. I’ll see about your truck first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you, Knox. For…everything.” Eden slid from the truck and headed inside. Friends with Knox Everhart. Now to figure out the perimeters in order to maintain the friendship.
***
“I don’t know. How many nights?” Knox sat across from Dave Michaels, nursing a cup of coffee.
“Your decision. The season is up at the end of February. And the truth is the boys could use you. Landon and Jennifer have a long road ahead of them with the baby. I’ve seen you on the lake with the kids. Who better to coach than a hockey player?”
That would mean more time around Eden. And Eli. He was crazy about the kid, but what kind of role model was Knox? “No one has raised the issue that I own a bar? Or my past indiscretions?”
Dave slurped his coffee. “It was raised, but Inman visited this bar, and I know dozens of elementary teachers who go into Chicago clubbing on the weekends. As long as you don’t bring it to the rink, and you stick to coaching and not counseling…and you don’t have an affair with any of the married mothers…” Dave chuckled. “You’re good.”
Knox couldn’t bristle or take offense. He’d had affairs before. The town knew it. Everyone knew it. God knew it.
But he wanted friendship—a closer-than-a-brother kind. “All right. Why not? Maybe we can get a win or two out of the team for once.”
Dave winked and clicked his tongue against his cheek. “I hope so. Guess I’ll see you tonight. Wednesday service.”
Knox had debated on attending. “Uh…maybe.”
Dave left Knox to his bar, which didn’t open for another hour and a half. “Did I make a mistake, Ophelia?” He scratched behind her ears. Could he earn the respect of the community? When he’d been a hockey player, they’d revered him and ignored his indiscretions. When he became only a bar owner, they’d shunned him. Most of them.
“Knock, knock.” Pastor Gabriel stepped inside. “I saw Dave leaving. Would have used the side door, but it was locked.”
Knox motioned him in. “Coffee?”
“Love some.”
“Have a seat.” Knox headed to the bar and poured the preacher a cup. “Why you here so early?”
“Wanted to go over my notes in peace and quiet. The construction crew is back at it today since the ice fiasco is over. Makes me miss Florida.” He sipped his coffee. “I couldn’t hear myself think.”
Knox laughed. “How’s it coming along? You gonna be ready for the Christmas service?”
“Eden thinks so, but she’s optimistic about…everything. I admire that.” A smile lit his face. Could he look more like a puppy?
“You care about her.” Knox flexed his hand and concentrated on his brew.
“I do. But I don’t think it’s the same way you care about her.” He grinned over the steam.
Oh no. “What did you hear? Because if anyone said something bad about her, I’ll take the blame. It was my fault.”
Gabriel sat his cup on the table, crossed one leg over his knee, and leaned back on the chair. “And what happened? I haven’t heard a thing.”
“Then nothing happened.” Knox clenched his jaw.
“Fair enough. Well, I’ll say this then. Eden deserves some happiness. And she deserves it with a man who shares her faith, who can love her like he’s supposed to. Like Christ loved the church.”
The words punched Knox’s gut. “Even if I did share her faith…” Which he’d been thinking about. “I’ve kept something from her for awhile. If I tell her—no matter how much Jesus I have in me—she’ll toss me out on my ear.”
Gabriel rested his elbows on the table. “Maybe. But whatever it is that’s bottled up inside you needs to come out. If it has to do with her, then she needs to know it. Let God handle the rest. Her. And you.”
Knox’s chest constricted. “She’d never forgive me.”
Gabriel pierced Knox with his stare. “Maybe not—although I don’t see her never forgiving you—but even so, God will. And at the end of the day, that’s the only forgiveness you truly need. The only forgiveness that will bring peace to your guilt. And I can see guilt all over you, Knox.”
Did this man have some kind of pipe line straight to God? “Now that I’ve got her in my life, I don’t want to lose her. Even if it’s only friendship.”
“Knox, can I pray for you?”
Prayer? Would God want to hear a prayer about Knox? For Knox? Did he want prayer? “Yeah. Yeah, you can.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Eden eyeballed the envelope with the cash inside. She owed the McDaniels an apology too. For letting them think she hadn’t forgiven them by keeping the money. They needed to know. Gabe’s sermon last night had been about forgiving others and letting God heal wounds even if He needed to rip away a scab to do it. Conviction had settled deep.
“God, I need Your strength. To let go of things I shouldn’t be carrying. Audrey was right. I know what’s right but I don’t do it.” She sighed and wiped a tear. “This may bring up old pain, but it’s necessary.”
With Eli at the Michaels’s this afternoon, she had the house to herself. It was time.
Stomach knotting, she picked up the phone and stared.
Nathan was gone. His death was the hardest thing she’d ever had to go through. But knowing she could feel a longing inside again…it was time to move on. She’d hung on to this parsonage more for her than Eli—even if she justified it as keeping things normal. And when Gabe had offered to move into the apartment over the florist shop, she’d let him. But this house should be his.
When Eli came home, she was going to discuss moving into a new place. Fresh start. Memories of Nathan would never leave them, but the house smothered her at times and held her back from living.
This was the last thing lingering. The phone call. With a trembling hand, she dialed the number. “Mrs. McDaniels, this is Eden Snow.”
Silence.
“Hello, Mrs. Snow. How—how can I help you?” Her weak voice constricted Eden’s lungs.
“I wanted to call and tell you that I’m moving forward, and I forgive you. Truly. Which is why I can’t take the money anymore. In fact, I haven’t spent any in quite a few months. I’d like to give it back.”
Silence.
“Mrs. McDaniels?”
“Ms. Snow,” she sniffed, “thank you for that. I needed to hear it. Every day I regret the choice my son made. Drinking in t
hat open field with his buddies then driving to that bar. We raised him better than that. And while I do pray for you and your son each day, I—I haven’t sent you any money, and I’m not sure why you have the impression that I did.”
They hadn’t sent the money? “It comes with a Chicago postmark. You live in Chicago. I assumed…” Outside, swirls of snow dusted the French doors.
“I don’t know who sent it either. But I am glad to hear that you’re moving forward. We’ve been trying to do the same. Harder around the holidays, isn’t it?” A few more sniffs.
“Yes. Wait, did you say bar?”
“I did. A friend who was with Bradley that night told me they’d continued their night after being tossed off private property. At a bar on the outskirts of Mistletoe.”
Eden knew the boy had been drunk and tossed off the old Jensen property—a place young people went to drink, smoke pot, and make out. But the bar was new.
Only one bar on the outskirts of Mistletoe.
Eden’s throat constricted, and she gripped the phone with white-knuckled force. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding but glad I called.”
“It does me good to know that you’re okay. You’ll always be in my prayers.”
She thanked her and hung up.
Staring at the envelope, it all made sense. Knox didn’t call her to pick up Pop because it was right. He did it out of guilt for serving those boys and allowing them into cars to murder her husband. Did he think he could assuage his guilt by sending her money? Liquor money? The insult stung like a swarm of angry bees.
All this time? He knew he’d had a part to play.
She pressed her fingers to her lips. She let him explore her mouth in ways she’d never even imagined a man could and…he’d touched her, all the time knowing.
She trembled until sweat beaded on her forehead and rolled down her temples.
How dare he! She stormed to her room and snatched the envelopes, then stalked to her truck. No wonder he let the church use his bar without putting up too much of a fight. No wonder he’d agreed to coach the hockey league.
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
She whizzed into the bar parking lot. Not even the snow and wind could cool her off. She busted inside. A few heads turned in her direction.
Including Pop’s. Starting earlier than usual tonight. The slap turned into a punch.
Knox strode toward her, a lopsided grin on his face. Eden’s teeth clenched, and she quaked. Raising her hand, she slung the envelopes of money at Knox. They smacked his chest, and a few bills escaped and sailed through the air.
“How could you?” Heated tears streaked her cheeks.
Knox gaped at the money, then around the room at his family.
“You think that money is going to make up for what you did, or should I say what you didn’t do?”
“I wanted to tell you,” Knox whispered, his eyes haunted.
“Tell her what?” Pop pushed his drink aside.
Eden zoned in on him. “And you? My husband. Your son-in-law. The father of my child is gone because of this place!” She couldn’t control her hiccupped sobs. “Because of what you wash down your throat in hopes to ease some kind of pain! I miss Mom too. I miss Nathan. My son misses his father! Yet here you sit waiting to kill someone yourself! I’m done. I’m done dragging you out of this place.”
“Kitten, I’m—”
“Sorry isn’t enough.” She glared at Knox. “I don’t want your bar money to ease your conscious. And I’ll find a way to pay you back for what I did spend.”
“It wasn’t for that.”
“I don’t care what it was for!” she hollered.
The room stilled. Every eye was on her and Knox. Good. Let them hear.
“If I could take that night back…” Knox dropped his head, his shoulders slumped.
“I let you—I wanted you—I can’t believe I—how—why did—I have no idea—” She groaned and stormed out the door. If she didn’t love him so much—wait.
Love?
Yes. Love.
Which is why it hurt unbelievably bad. How was she supposed to unlove him? He was everything she didn’t need. Shouldn’t want.
He betrayed her.
Betrayed Nathan.
She wiped her eyes and cranked the engine. When she zoomed from the lot, she was done.
With this bar.
With Knox Everhart.
***
Knox gawked at the cash. He was going to tell her. But he was waiting until…what? The new year? The right time? There was no right time to say he’d served those boys one drink after another knowing they were sloshed out of their gourds. But they were just young dudes blowing off steam, sowing oats.
And it killed Nathan. His only friend who’d been like a brother.
“Okay,” Dreyfuss Bailey said. “Maybe I’ve had one too many tonight, or maybe she has, but I didn’t understand a thing she said before she walked out the door.”
Neither had Knox. Clips of words. No coherent meaning. Through broken sobs, crushing him. Proving he would break her given a chance.
Eden’s pop pushed his drink away, shame flooded his face. “That monthly cash came from you, not the McDaniels?”
Knox leaned against the bar for support. “Yes. Those boys were here before it happened. I knew they were drunk. I’m responsible, Walt.”
Walt put his bills on the bar. “As far as the jibber-jabber at the end, well, I’ve only seen that kind of behavior in one other woman. Eden’s mom. Used to get so mad at me and hiccup and muddle her way through a rant. But she married me anyway.”
Knox pawed his face. Eden would never forgive him, and he didn’t blame her.
“How long’s she been in love with you?” Walt scooted off the bar stool and hiked his pants up over his waist.
Knox frowned. “She’s not in love with me.”
Walt laughed through his nose. “Oh, yes she is. And she’s hopping mad about it. Like I said, seen it before. But she was right about some things. If you don’t see me around, it’s not because I blame you.” He hung his head and left the bar.
Love? How could Eden possibly love him? He didn’t even love him. Cassie laid a hand on his shoulder. “Go get some air, Knox. I’ll handle it from here.”
Knox tossed his towel and spotted Gabe in the archway. He gave him a faint nod. His way of inviting him in. Knox accepted.
He left the bar and entered the back room church. But Gabriel wasn’t there.
“Gabe?” He scanned the room, checked the storage area. “Preacher man?” Knox peeked out the side entrance door. No car. He turned and saw Gabriel’s Bible open on the table.
Knox hadn’t touched a Bible in—ever.
So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son. John 1:14 was circled.
Unfailing love.
Knox had been failed so many times where love was concerned. Nathan had been faithful, but he’d let him die. Then wrecked his wife. He slunk in a chair and flipped aimlessly.
Words seemed to bounce off the page like life.
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
A new person. Knox wanted that more than anything, had wanted it every time Nathan spoke of God and even if he hadn’t said a word, Knox had watched Nathan’s life. But he’d rejected it then. Now? Yes, he wanted to be new. Not for Eden, for himself. It was time. He swallowed the lump in his throat and did something he’d never done before.
He prayed.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Three days had passed since Eden left Knox’s bar… since she’d seen Pop. Now, she sat at the business office, staring at the amazing window display Cassie had designed. Red, gold, and silver. Twinkling lights and fake snow. When people passed by, they paused to peer in. The back door opened, and Eden checked the time.
It wasn’t even 7 a.m. She
’d come in early, needed to think—to keep from seeing Pop. Eli had spent the night with Jake Michaels. They had practice today at ten. With Knox. How was Eden going to handle seeing him at practices and games?
The church had been completed yesterday. In two days, they’d celebrate their Lord’s birth. Then the New Year would ring in, and Eden felt lonelier than ever.
“Hi kitten.”
Pop leaned against the door. Tall, broad shoulders and a paunch from too many beers.
“Pop.” Eden doodled on a scrap piece of paper.
“When your mom died, part of me died. And I know you understand that.”
Eden gazed up at him. Pop never talked about Mom.
“I didn’t have the child-like faith you did to handle the pain. So I had a couple of drinks, and it eased. Then I had a few more. You were right the other night. I drink too much. And if Knox didn’t call you to come get me, I’d do just what that McDaniels boy did.”
Eden sniffed and wiped a tear before it slid down her cheek.
“I’m the parent, and I’ve been acting like the child. You’ve been trying to grieve your husband and pull me out of the bar. You keep giving and going, and you’ve even kept this business afloat when I’ve been unable to.” He crossed the room and knelt beside her, taking her hands in his. “Forgive me, Eden. I’ve missed the mark for sure, but I want a clean slate.”
Eden’s tears burst forth and she hung on her father’s neck. “We can do this together.”
“No, honey. We can’t. That’s why I talked to Pastor Brookson last night. I’m going to go into a program near Champagne. A Christian-based rehab. Six months.”
Eden leaned back. “Really, Pop?”
His eyes glistened. “Really.”
An answer to prayer. A Christmas season miracle. “I love you, and I forgive you.”
Pop’s big arms held tight around her. “I needed to hear that. And I love you, kitten.” He kissed her cheek. “I leave the day after Christmas.”
She cupped his scruffy cheeks. “God can do this.”
Pop grinned. “That He can.” He sniffed and rose to his feet. “About that forgiveness thing. You think you could extend it to Knox Everhart?”
Hope Under Mistletoe (Seasons of Hope Book 1) Page 8
