Chageet's Electric Dance

by Ashir, Rebecca

  Barbey and Gavriel’s wedding took place on the roof of the meditation center overlooking Revolution Avenue. Mama and Barbey’s father had come to stay with the Mercava’s two days before the wedding to help Dina Mercava decorate. Barbey was surprised at how well the two seemingly different families got along. It became apparent that they both had a common interest of horseback riding. Even more surprising to Barbey, was when Mama invited Dina Mercava and Diego Mercava to spend a weekend at their house so that they could all horseback ride together. The Mercavas delightedly agreed and the two families smoothly transitioned into the wedding arrangements.

  They had hired some workers to string thousands of little white lights along the rails of the roof and overhead so that at night, during the reception, the dance floor would light up with the twinkling constellations. The Mercava’s florist had also twined arrays of white roses into the rails and placed beautiful white rose and baby’s breath arrangements on all the white clothed tables that were arranged behind the dance floor, over to one side. Some of the florist’s workers had set up a grand divider in the center of the dance floor that was artistically adorned in white roses and phosphorescent beads. In front of the dance floor, a trail of white roses and silver ribbons led to the four post chupa, under which Gavriel and Barbey would marry.

  Now, as the wedding guests gathered on the roof in anticipation of the wedding, Barbey waited in one of the offices below in the center with Mama just before she would go up to the chupa, the bridal canopy, to marry. Barbey stared at her face in a hand mirror as she sat at the desk, flabbergasted in joy that her life was turning out so well and so different than she had imagined as a girl growing up.

  Mama was pacing the room. “For cryin’ out loud, I can’t believe my little girl’s getting’ married. I never knew I’d be so darn nervous for everythin’ to go smoothly, but I’m more nervous than a pig going to slaughter.” She stopped for a moment to arrange Barbey’s veil. “I know we’ve been distant for years and I’m real sorry about that.”

  Barbey looked at Mama in surprise. “I never thought I’d hear you say you’re sorry.”

  “Well, honestly, I am. I shouldn’t have lied to you about being your birth mother and I shouldn’t have kicked you out either time. I made a big ol’ mess of things over the years with my hormones being all out of control and in full spring. Your daddy probably would have listened if I’d told him not to lie to you and your brother about Shira’s death. But I have to admit I liked being your mama. Now you’ve run off and become Jewish, changing your name back to your original name. I always hated that name; it sounds so foreign. I never could pronounce it right, even back when you were a kid.”

  Barbey shook her head, “What do you mean? Wait, wait, wait—Chageet was my original name before I changed it to Barbey?”

  “Of course, dear. Isn’t that why you changed it back?”

  “That is so weird.” Barbey was flabergasted. “I can’t believe I chose the same Hebrew name for myself that was already my name. Gavriel said his grandmother is psychic. She must have picked up on my true essence or maybe it was a coincidence. No, nothing is a coincidence. I must have reminded her of her daughter who had the same name.” Her eyes were wide and a smile spread across her face as she contemplated God’s magnificence, how all the puzzle pieces fit together in perfect alignment.

  Mama gazed at her rhinestone studded finger nails, spreading her fingers wide. “If you didn’t remember Chageet was your name, hon, then why’d you pick such an awful sounding name?”

  She couldn’t help but finch at her bluntness, but then she quickly calmed her mind, reminding herself that it is her wedding day. “Well, it’s a really cool name because it means ‘holiday’ and holidays are considered to be the avenues to peace, love, and redemption. You see, it is said that a person is or becomes the qualities of her name, so if I could embody just a small piece of that, I would become real because ‘peace, love, and redemption’ is the only true reality.”

  “That’s so nice, babe. They sure are takin’ a long time to get us.” She opened the door to peak out.

  “Actually, I chose the name Chageet because Gavriel’s grandmother had a daughter named Chageet who died as a teenager and I wanted to carry on her name.”

  “Oh, that’s plum bad, dear. How’d the little lady die?”

  “She was said to have been a really righteous girl and God just took her from the world without warning. She was sitting at the table with her family one morning and she just sort of tilted her head to one side and died without even falling over or anything. Nobody could ever figure out why she died as she seemed to have been perfectly healthy.”

  “My, my… I suppose sometimes the Lord just decides to take His children and there’s no explainin’ from us. But, I know He has His reasons.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, sweetheart, if it don’t bother you too much, I still see you as my little Barbey doll and I’d like to keep callin’ you that.”

  “It’s ok, Mama. You can call me Barbey. And I’m sorry for being so willful and reactive all these years. Now that I’m grown up, I appreciate you and all you have done for me and admire so many qualities you possess.”

  “Like what?” She smiled facetiously.

  “Like your sense of style, your confidence, and your love for life to name a few.”

  “Go on,” Mama smiled.

  Barbey hugged her. “I love you.”

  Wiping tears from her eyes, Mama whispered, “Me too, sugar plum.”

  There was a knock at the door and Chageet’s father entered. He was wearing a black tuxedo with a white bow tie to match the wedding colors of white. For the first time, it seemed, Chageet really saw her father in that moment when he entered the office. Instead of seeming strong and pensive like he had always appeared to her in the past, she saw his vulnerability. Each wrinkle on his face seemed to convey sadness and screams for help. At that moment in his rough exterior, he seemed weak and afraid. The weakness was not overt and not likely detectable to others as it had never been noticeable to Chageet until now in her sudden heightened awareness. His vulnerability made him seem more human to her and a strong current of love surged through her body toward her father. She couldn’t help it—when he shut the door she cried out, “I love you, Daddy.”

  He appeared surprised by this confession of feelings as Chageet had not told him she loved him since she was a young child. As if lost in thought for a moment, he stood facing her, looking pensively in her eyes and shook his head as if trying to conceal a flood of emotions that he wouldn’t dare reveal. Chageet saw black vast space in his eyes that seemed lit with a cold white flame or maybe the flame was red, or green. It seemed too much to conceive the truth of his essence. Maybe he’s on drugs. The thought seemed ridiculous to her, but the more she studied him the more she noticed his similarities to Rave. It now became clear to her that both his eyes and Rave’s eyes seemed of a foreign celestial nature because both were lit with the intoxication of drugs. She had been attracted to Rave because he seemed supernatural and above this physical mundane world due to his consistent drug induced state of being. The drugged state had attracted Barbey to him because she was searching, though unconsciously, for the endless light of God and she mistook his subdued inner intensity as something empyreal, as a seemingly electric energy force of the Infinite Almighty. This was an illusion. Though the energy was seemingly real, it came from the dark forces which are temporary and die out just as coals heat up, fill with fire and then burn to ashes. Has Dad always been a drug addict? She became certain that this was the case and she felt deeply sorry for him. Apparently the sadness in losing his first wife had been too difficult for him to face, so he had escaped into a false reality to soothe his pain. “I’m so happy to be here with you, Dad, on my wedding day.”

  He gazed at her curiously for a moment, seeming to look through her with the dark glassy eyes of Grigori Rasputin. The illusion appeared to be other worldly, but it was not. “Yes,”
he said holding his stare for a moment and then he turned away looking at the ground as he spoke. “I brought you this bracelet that was Shira’s.” He took a diamond bracelet from his pocket and handed it to Chageet. “She would want you to have this.” Without looking at her again he opened the door. “Come, it’s time to get married.”

  It was late evening and the sun was setting behind the distant mountains. The glare of sunlight lit the roof with a golden glow that glimmered and sparkled, mixing with the white of the celebration. A thunder of glory rose up out of the mountains and rained golden streams of light into Chageet’s mind. There was Gavriel standing under her grandparents’ white flowing chupa that she had slept under and gazed upon nearly every night of her childhood. Now she finally grasped the wonders flowing through the streams of white thread that had always been a mystery to her. The canopy was a symbol of her destiny, of her union with her zivug, her one true ultimate soul mate, a symbol of her love for God. She walked with her father and Mama on either side of her, down the isle of white roses as she smiled at her relatives, her brother who had a funny smirk on his face, her friends and the entire Tiajuana Jewish community that had come to celebrate their union as husband and wife. When she saw Sage smiling at her, she almost cried from joy, remembering the numerous conversations they had had together as children fantasizing about their wedding days. Gavriel looked regal in his black tuxedo as he gazed adoringly at Chageet. Looking at him sent her mind into more euphoric explosions and the love between them radiated on High. When she stepped under the chupa, she saw in her mind a flashing fire and stormy wind, a glorious cloud and a glow round about them and from the midst of the glory, she circled Gavriel seven times, her grandmother following behind carrying the train of her beaded gown. The prophet, Ezekiel, was wading above them and she saw the four Living Creatures from his vision, each in human form with four faces in the form of the face of an eagle, the face of a man, the face of a lion, the face of an ox and four wings on each, straight feet with the soles appearing like a calf foot, shining like polished copper. She saw that prophesy was returning to the world and though she could not see the Throne of Glory, she knew it was there and that she was circling in the right direction. In her quivering, the next that she saw was the smashing of the glass and a vision of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem rising. They were married.

  On the dance floor, the women raised Chageet up on a chair so high she felt like she had touched heaven. They danced around her in joy and when they set her down, she started movin’ and groovin’ to the beat, the white electric lights flashing over her head like a million stars in the vast night sky. She was dancing for God and it was electric.