The Second H. Beam Piper Omnibus

by H. Beam Piper

  "I can hit what I aim at, yes. But I'm not used to commanding men in combat, and I'm not much of a tactician."

  Slater thrust out his hand impulsively. “I took a sort of poor view of you, at first. I'm sorry,” he said. “Want me to take command?"

  "If you please, major."

  "What are you going to do, after this thing's over?” Slater asked.

  "Stay on with Pelton's, provided Mr. P. doesn't find out that I organized that trick with his medicine and the safe,” Latterman said. “Since Lancedale seems to have gotten on top at the Hall, I am, as of now, a Lancedale partisan. That's partly opportunism, and it's partly because, since a single policy has been adopted, I feel obliged to go along with it. I'll have to get the store back in operation, as soon as possible. Pelton's going to need money, badly, if he's going to try for the presidency in ‘44.” He looked around him. “You know, I've always wanted to run a fire sale; this'll be even better-a battle sale!"

  * * * *

  Cardon watched Chester Pelton apprehensively as the bald-headed merchant and senatorial candidate sipped from the tall glass in his hand and then set it on the table beside him. His face was pale, and he had the look of a man who has just been hit with a blackjack.

  "That's an awful load of bricks to dump on a man, all at once, Frank,” he said reproachfully.

  "You'd rather I told you, now, than turn on the TV and hear some commentator talking about it, wouldn't you?” Cardon asked.

  Pelton swore vilely, in a lifeless monotone, cursing Literacy, and all Literates back to the invention of the alphabet. Then he stopped short.

  "No, Frank, I don't mean that, either. My own son and daughter are Literates; I can't say that about them. But how long-?"

  "Oh, for about a year, I'd say. I understand, now, that they were admitted to the Fraternities six months ago,” he invented.

  "And they were working against me, all that time?” Pelton demanded.

  Cardon shook his head. “No, Chet; they were for you, all the way. Your daughter exposed her Literacy to save your life. Your son and his teacher came to your store and fought for you. But there are Literates who want to see you defeated, and they're the ones who made that audio-visual, secretly, of the ceremony in which your son and daughter took the Literates’ Oath and received the white smock, and they're going to telecast it this evening at twenty-one hundred. Coming on top of the stories that have been going around all afternoon, and Slade Gardner's speech, this morning, they think that'll be enough to defeat you."

  "Well, don't you?” Pelton gloomed. “My own kids, Literates!” He seemed to have reached a point at which he was actually getting a masochistic pleasure out of turning the dagger in his wounds. “Who'd trust me, after this?"

  "No, Chet; it isn't enough to beat you-if you just throw away that crying towel and start fighting. They made one mistake that's going to wreck them."

  "What's that, Frank?” Pelton brightened, by about one angstrom unit.

  "The timing, of course!” Cardon told him, impatiently. “I thought you'd see that, at once. This telecast comes on at twenty-one hundred. Your final speech comes on at twenty-one thirty. As soon as they've shown this business of Claire and Ray taking the Literate Oath, you'll be on the air, yourself, and if you put on any kind of a show worth the name, it won't be safe for anybody in this state to be caught wearing a white smock. Now, if they'd only had the wit to wait till after you'd delivered that speech you've been practicing on for the last two weeks, and then spring this on you, that would have been different. They'd have had you over a barrel. But this way, you have them!"

  Pelton took another gulp from the tall glass at his elbow, emptying it. “Fix me up another of these, Frank,” he said. “I feel like a new man, already.” Then his face clouded again. “But we have no time to prepare a speech, now, and I just can't ad lib one."

  Cardon drew a little half-inch record-disk from his pocket case.

  "Play this off,” he said. “I had it fixed up, as soon as I got wise to what was going to happen. The voice is one of the girls in my office, over at the brewery. Pronunciation, grammar, elocution and everything correct."

  Pelton snapped the disk onto his recorder and put in the ear plug. Then, before he pressed the stud, he looked at Cardon curiously.

  "How'd you get onto this, anyhow, Frank?” he wanted to know.

  "Well ... I hope you don't ask me for an accounting of all the money I've been spending in this campaign, because some of the items would look funny as hell, but—"

  "No accounting, Frank. After all, you spent as much of your own money as you did of mine,” Pelton interrupted.

  "...But I bought myself a pipe line into Literates’ Hall big enough to chase an elephant through,” Cardon went on, ignoring the interruption. “This fellow Mongery, for instance.” Elliot Mongery was one of Literate Frank Cardon's best friends; he comforted his conscience with the knowledge that Mongery would slander him just as unscrupulously, if the interests of the Lancedale Plan were at stake. “I have Mongery just like this.” He made a clutching and lifting gesture, as though he were picking up some small animal by the scruff of the neck. “So, as soon as I got word of it, I started getting this thing together. It isn't the kind of a job a Literate semanticist would do, but it's all honest Illiterate thinking, in Illiterate language. Turn it on, and tell me what you think of it."

  While Pelton listened to the record, Cardon mixed him another of the highballs, adding a little of the heart-stimulant the medic had given him. Pelton was grinning savagely when he turned off the little machine and took out the ear plug.

  "Great stuff, Frank! And I won't have to ham it much; it's just about the way I feel.” He thought for a moment. “You have me talking about my ruined store, there. Just how bad is it, anyhow?"

  "Pretty bad, Chet. Latterman says it's going to take some time to get it fixed up, but he expects to be open for business by Thursday or Friday. He's going to put on a big Battle Sale; he says it's going to make retail-merchandising history. And the insurance covers most of the damage."

  "Well, tell me about it. How did you get the riot stopped, after you got me out? And how did you-?"

  Cardon shook his head. “You play that record over again; get yourself in the mood. When you go on, we'll have you in a chair, wrapped in a blanket ... you're supposed to have crawled back out of the Valley of the Shadow of Death to make this speech ... and we'll have the wire run down inside the blanket, so that you can listen to the speech while you're giving it. Chet, this is going to be one of the great political speeches of all time—"

  * * * *

  Literate William R. Lancedale looked up from his desk and greeted his visitor with a smile.

  "Well, Frank! Sit down and accept congratulations! I suppose you got the returns?"

  Cardon nodded, dropping into a chair beside the desk. “Just came from campaign headquarters. This automatic tally system they use on the voting machines is really something. Complete returns tabulated and reported for the whole state within forty minutes after the polls closed. I won't be silly enough to ask you if you got the returns."

  "I deserved that, of course,” Lancedale chuckled. “Can I offer you refreshment? A nice big stein of Cardon's Black Bottle, for instance?"

  Cardon shuddered and grimaced horribly. “I've been drinking that slop by the bucketful, all day. And Pelton's throwing a victory party, tonight, and I'll have to choke down another half gallon of it. Give me a cup of coffee, and one of those good cigars of yours."

  Lancedale grinned at him. “Ah, yes, the jolly brewer. His own best advertisement. How's Pelton reacting to his triumph? And what's his attitude toward his children? I've been worrying about that; vestigial traces of a conscience, I suppose."

  "Well, I had to keep him steamed up, till after he went off the air,” Cardon said. “Chet isn't a very good actor. But after that, I talked to him like a Dutch uncle. Told him what a swell pair of kids and a fine son-in-law he had. He got sore at me. Tried to
throw me out of the house, a couple of times. I was afraid he was going to have another of those attacks. But by the time Ralph and Claire get back from their honeymoon and Ray finishes that cram-course for Literate prep school, he'll be ready to confer the paternal blessing all around. I'm going to stay in town and make sure of it, and then I'm taking about a month's vacation."

  "You've earned it, all right.” Lancedale poured Cardon's coffee and passed him the cigar humidor. “How's Pelton's attitude toward the Consolidated Illiterates’ Organization, now?"

  Cardon, having picked up the Italian stiletto to puncture his cigar, looked at it carefully to make sure that it really had no edge, and then drew it quickly across his throat.

  "Just like that. You know what really happened, yesterday afternoon, at the store, don't you?"

  "Well, in general, yes. I wish you'd fill me in on some of the details, though, Frank."

  "Details he wants. Well.” Cardon blew on his coffee and sipped it. “The way we played it for propaganda purposes, of course, there was only one big riot, and it was all the work of the wicked Literates and their Independent-Conservative hirelings. Actually, there were two riots. First, there was one the Independents had planned for about a week in advance; that was the one Sforza tipped us on, the one that started in China. Graves knew about it, enough to advise Latterman to get all the Literates out of the store before noon, which Latterman did, with trimmings.

  "Then, there was another riot, masterminded by a couple of Illiterates’ Organization Action Committee people named Joe West and Horace Yingling, both deceased. That was the result of Latterman's bright idea to trap Claire and/or me into betraying Literacy. These Illiterate fanatics made up their minds, to speak rather loosely, that the whole Pelton family were Literates, including Chet himself. They decided that it was better to kill off their candidate and use him for a martyr two years from now than to elect him and have him sell them out. They got about a hundred or so of their goons dressed in Independent-Conservative KKK costumes, bought air support from Patsy Callazo's mob, up in Vermont, and made that attack on the top landing stage, after starting a fake riot in North Jersey, to draw off the regular Radical-Socialist storm troops. Incidentally, when I found out it was Callazo's gang that furnished those fighter bombers, I hired another mob to go up and drop a block-buster on Callazo's field, to teach him to keep his schnozzle out of politics."

  Lancedale nodded briskly. “That I approve of. How about West and Yingling?"

  "Prestonby's muscle man, Yetsko, killed West. I took care of Comrade Yingling, myself, after I'd gotten reinforcements to the store-first a couple of free-lance storm troops that the insurance company hired, and then as many of the Radical Rangers as I could gather up."

  "And Pelton knows about all this?"

  "He certainly does! After this caper, the Illiterates’ Organization's through, as far as any consideration or patronage from the Radicals is concerned."

  "Well, that's pretty nearly the best thing I've heard out of the whole business,” Lancedale said. “In about eight or ten years, we may want to pull the Independent-Conservative party together again, to cash in on public dissatisfaction with Pelton's socialized Literacy program, which ought to be coming apart at the seams by then. And if we have the Illiterates split into two hostile factions—"

  Cardon finished his coffee. “Well, chief, I've got to be getting along. O'Reilly can only cover me for a short while, and I have to be getting to this victory party of Pelton's—"

  Lancedale rose and shook hands with him. “I can't tell you, too many times, what a fine job you did, Frank,” he said. “I hope ... no, knowing you, I'm positive ... that you'll be able to engineer a reconciliation between Pelton and his son and daughter and young Prestonby. And then, have yourself a good vacation."

  "I mean to. I'm going deer hunting, to a place up in the mountains, along the old Pennsylvania-New York state line. A little community of about a thousand people, where everybody, men, women and children, can read."

  Lancedale was interested. “A community of Literates?"

  Cardon shook his head. “Not Literates-with-a-big-L; just people who can read and write,” he replied. “It's a kind of back-eddy sort of place, and I imagine, a couple of hundred years ago, the community was too poor to support one of these ‘progressive’ school systems that made Illiterates out of the people in the cities. Probably couldn't raise enough money in school taxes to buy all the expensive audio-visual equipment, so they had to use old-fashioned textbooks, and teach the children to read from them. They have radios, and TV, of course, but they also have a little daily paper, and they have a community library."

  Lancedale was thoughtful, for a moment. “You know, Frank, there must be quite a few little enclaves of lower-case-literacy like that, in back-woods and mountain communities, especially in the west and the south. I'm going to make a project of finding such communities, helping them, and getting recruits from them. They'll fit into the Plan. Well, I'll be seeing you some time tomorrow, I suppose?"

  He watched Cardon go out, and then poured a glass of port for himself and sipped slowly, holding the glass to the light and watching the ruby glow it cast on the desk top. It had been over thirty years ago, when he had been old Jules de Chambord's assistant, that the Plan had been first conceived. De Chambord was dead these twenty years, and he had taken the old man's place, and they had only made the first step. Things would move faster, now, but he would still die before the Plan was completed, and Frank Cardon, whom he had marked as his successor, would be an old man, and somebody like young Ray Pelton would be ready to replace him, but the Plan would go on, until everybody would be literate, not Literate, and illiteracy, not Illiteracy, would be a mark of social stigma, and most people would live their whole lives without personal acquaintance with an illiterate.

  There were a few years, yet, to prepare for the next step. The white smocks would have to go; Literates would have to sacrifice their paltry titles and distinctions. There would have to be a re-constitution of the Fraternities. Wilton Joyner and Harvey Graves and the other Conservative Literates would have to be convinced, emotionally as well as intellectually, of the need for change. There were a few of the older brothers who could never adjust their thinking; they would have to be promoted to positions with higher salaries and more impressive titles and no authority whatever.

  But that was all a matter of tactics; the younger men, like Frank Cardon and Elliot Mongery and Ralph Prestonby, could take care of that. Certain changes would occur: A stable and peaceful order of society, for one thing. A rule of law, and the liquidation of these goon gangs and storm troops and private armies. If a beginning at that were made tomorrow, using the battle at Pelton's store to mobilize public opinion, it would still take two decades to get anything really significant done. And a renaissance of technological and scientific progress-Today, the manufacturers changed the ‘copter models twice a year-and, except for altering the shape of a few chromium-plated excrescences or changing the contours slightly, they were the same ‘copters that had been buzzing over the country at the time of the Third World War. Every month, the pharmaceutical companies announced a new wonder drug-and if it wasn't sulfa, it was penicillin, and if it wasn't penicillin it would be aureomycin. Why, most of the scientific research was being carried on by a few Literates in the basements of a few libraries, re-discovering the science of two centuries ago.

  He sighed, and finished his port, and, as he did probably once every six months, he re-filled the glass. He'd be seventy-two next birthday. Maybe he'd live long enough to see—

  ULLR UPRISING

  CHAPTER I

  The big armor-tender vibrated, gently and not unpleasantly, as the contragravity field alternated on and off. Sometimes it rocked slightly, like a boat on the water, and, in the big screen which served in lieu of a window at the front of the control-cabin, the dingy-yellow landscape would seem to tilt a little. The air was faintly yellow, the sky was yellow with a greenish cast, and the c
louds were green-gray.

  No human had ever set foot on the surface, or breathed the air, of Niflheim. To have done so would have been instant death; the air was a mixture of free fluorine and fluoride gasses, the soil was metallic fluorides, damp with acid rains, and the river was pure hydrofluoric acid. Even the ordinary spacesuit would have been no protection; the glass and rubber and plastic would have disintegrated in a matter of minutes. People came to Niflheim, and worked the mines and uranium refineries and chemical plants, but they did so inside power-driven and contragravity-lifted armor, and they lived on artificial satellites two thousand miles off-planet. Niflheim was worse than airless; much worse.

  The chief engineer sat at his controls, making the minor lateral adjustments in the vehicle's position which were not possible to the automatic controls. At his own panel of instruments, a small man with grizzled black hair around a bald crown, and a grizzled beard, chewed nervously at the stump of a dead cigar and listened intently. A large, plump-faced, young man in soiled khaki shirt and shorts, with extremely hairy legs, was doodling on his notepad and eating candy out of a bag. And a black-haired girl in a suit of coveralls three sizes too big for her, and, apparently, not much of anything else, lounged with one knee hooked over her chair-arm, staring into the screen at the distant horizon.

  "I can see them,” the girl said, lifting a hand in front of her. “At two o'clock, about one of my hand's-breaths above the horizon. But only four of them."

  The man with the grizzled beard put his face into the fur around the eyepiece of the telescopic-'visor and twisted a dial. “You have good eyes, Miss Quinton,” he complimented. “The fifth's inside the handling machine. One of the Ullrans. Gorkrink."

  * * * *

  The largest of the specks that had appeared on the horizon resolved itself into a handling-machine, a thing like an oversized contragravity-tank, with a bull-dozer-blade, a stubby derrick-boom instead of a gun, and jointed, claw-tipped, arms at the sides. The smaller dots grew into personal armor-egg-shaped things that sprouted arms and grab-hooks and pushers in all directions. The man with the grizzled beard began talking rapidly into his hand-phone, then hung it up. There was a series of bumps, and the armor-tender, weightless on contragravity, shook as the handling-machine came aboard.