by B. N. Toler
“Couldn’t you come with us and heal?” I was still trying to figure out how to have the best of both worlds, Thomas and my family.
“I can’t, Aldo. I need to go, and I want you with me. Please say you’ll go with me.” He kissed my neck, his lips soft as velvet. “Please say yes.” He gazed at me with his dark eyes.
My heart wanted to leap out of my chest and run away with him, but my mind kept reminding me that I would be abandoning my brothers and I would break Lucy’s heart. On the other hand, going to college without Thomas felt like a future of nothing but despair.
He pulled away and looked at me again. “Say you’ll go, please,” he begged once more.
I stared at him blankly. “Can I think about it?”
His eyes dropped, and disappointment immediately consumed his face. As we dried ourselves off and dressed, silence hung over us like a wet blanket, suffocating me. How could he ask me to leave my family behind? He knew how much they meant to me. What was behind this drastic request?
“Thomas, is everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” he snapped, shaking his head, in that way a person says it’s fine, but everything in his tone and body language says otherwise.
I scolded myself. What was wrong with me? I had practically warped into a deep depression because I couldn’t have him, and now here he was asking me to run away with him, and I was seriously thinking maybe I shouldn’t do it.
“I’ll go, Thomas.” I smiled.
He looked at me, a wide grin spread across his face that told me I had just made his day.
“Thank you.” He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. “You won’t regret it. Start packing.”
“What? I thought we wouldn’t leave until the summer ended. I have graduation in three weeks.”
“No, we leave in the next day or two.”
“Why so soon?” I stammered. I couldn’t just bail before graduation. At the end of my life, my list of accomplishments would be short, but damn it, a high school diploma would be one of them.
“I’ve caught wind of an opportunity and need to seize it. I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed me. “Let’s keep this between us, okay.”
“What opportunity?”
“I stumbled upon a rare antique.”
“Oh, your business?”
“Just pack and be ready when I call.”
“But Thomas…” I pleaded.
“Start packing, Aldo, and don’t tell anyone.” He grabbed me and kissed me hard. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed blown away by his kiss, unlike any he had given me the entire night.
I would not tell a soul. If Lucy caught wind of it she’d probably gag and bound me, pack us up, and high tail us out of town. I kissed him once more and admired his shirtless body as he walked away, then disappeared. I realized it was the first time I had seen him without a shirt on. My inner self proceeded to do a series of back flips. I was no longer the girl who wished she could follow that tribal tattoo on his arm all the way up to see where it ended. Tonight he exposed everything. I turned to clear my mind, to sleep deep, when it occurred to me. I didn’t see his tribal tattoo.
.
nine
Present
I wake at five-thirty in Alina’s living room, realizing she must have gone to bed. The room is dark, with the exception of a dim light coming from the range above the stove in her kitchen. I get up quietly in desperate need of a bathroom. I find a half bath at the end of the hall on the back side of the living room and pee in the dark, so I won’t wake her children.
I exit the bathroom and jump.
Alina’s daughter, Ella, stands at her bedroom door.
“Ella?” I whisper, approaching her slowly so I won’t frighten her.
She nods, her tiny head wrapped in a scarf to hide her hairless scalp.
“You are even prettier than your mother told me.” I kneel in front of her. “My name is Aldo.”
“Mommy told me about you,” she whispers. “She said you were very pretty.”
“Your Mommy is so sweet. She’s the pretty one and you look just like her.”
Ella turns and gestures for me to follow her, and I do, quietly. She leads me into her bedroom, which is exactly what every little girl’s room should look like. Stuffed animals line the shelves on her wall, and a table is set with plastic tea cups and saucers for a tea party.
“Would you like some tea?” She motions for me to sit.
“I’d love some.” I carefully sit on the plastic chair meant for a five year old. I’m relieved when it defies the laws of physics and doesn’t crush to the ground under me.
Ella pours the make believe tea into my pink plastic tea cup. “Sugar?” She holds up a little plastic jar with a spoon.
“No thank you, I’m watching my figure.”
While she makes herself a cup of tea, I realize I could heal her right now. I’m stored up from visiting the pizza parlor earlier. It would take several healings to cure her, but I can figure out how to get back to her. I listen to her energy, but it must be wrong. Her vibrations and pitches are low and unbalanced, one far lower than the other. That just can’t be. I listen again, but get the same result. My heart sinks in my chest.
I can’t save her.
Ella stops and looks at me. “Don’t!” she commands quietly.
I freeze. “Don’t what?”
“Cry for me,” she says softly.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, I just had something—”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” She smiles gently, placing her hands on the table as she sits, like an old lady might.
“Are you afraid?” I ask, understanding that I’m talking to a child with a deep grasp of her own mortality. It calms me, knowing this beautiful child is at peace with her fate. We all live fearing death. We’re all terrified. People would kill to have me heal them, to save them from death, but the truly sad part about that, is death is beautiful. There’s no pain on the other side, no fear. Time has no hold on you. The days are warm and full of content. At least that’s what Lucy told me.
“No,” she whispers. “I can see your light.”
“My light?” I question.
“Yes, it’s like your light is trying to shoot at me, but there’s an invisible wall that stops it.”
“I’d give you all of my light if I could, Ella. I want to save you, but—” I stop, not sure of how to explain.
“I know,” she replies simply. “Just help my Mommy when I’m gone. It won’t be long. She’s going to miss me, and I want her to be happy.”
I can’t hold back my tears. Her concern for her mother over her own demise wrenches my heart. I can feel Alina’s pain, trying to imagine my own child dying. The thought is horrible. Tears stream down my face.
Ella walks to me. “Shh.” She hushes me, laying her head against my shoulder.
I wrap my arms around her and hug her gently. Beautiful. This beautiful creature is to be taken. Anger rises within me. Why, God? Why take her?
Right on cue, Lucy’s voice rings through, scolding me. “Aldo, stop!”
I ignore her, hugging Ella tighter.
“Aldo, God takes what is his. It is her time. It is not for you to question.” Her voice is stern. Lucy always scolded us for asking why? So many lives we saved, ailments we healed, but so many left us with their demise certain. I could never explain the anguish in that. “Let her go.” Lucy demanded softly. She was right, though. As she reminded me many times in my youth, we do what we can and accept what we can’t, even when it hurts.
“Ella, heaven is getting a real angel when you get there.” I whisper through my tears. “I’ll be here for your Mommy. Don’t worry,” I assure her. It’s a promise I’m not sure I can keep, but Lucy always taught me that death comes easier when one dies without fears. I have no idea what will happen now that I’ve been found by vampires, but I will be there for Alina if I can.
“Just tell her I’m always with her, okay?”
Wit
h her words, I think of Lucy. It comforts me to know Lucy is always with me, too. “Of course.”
“You should go.” She nods in the direction of the front door. “What you’ve been looking for is looking for you.”
How does she know what I’m looking for?
“Goodbye, Aldo. It was nice meeting you.”
“Goodbye, Ella.” I stand up, and as I reach the door of her bedroom, I glance back and see her taking a sip from her little pink tea cup.
I change back into the jeans and t-shirt I wore to Alina’s, and use her phone in the kitchen to call for a cab. I wait on her front porch for the cab. My nerves are wrecked. My body is tense and my stomach is filled with a mixture of nausea and butterflies. I’m excited that I’m so close, scared that I’m so close, and sad that I can’t save that sweet child.
As I wait for the cab, I’m overwhelmed with the feeling of missing my brothers and Lucy. I want to wrap my arms around them so badly, see Hudson’s big brown eyes, and hear one of Whit’s stupid jokes that despite my best efforts always make me laugh. I lean against the railing on the porch, busying myself with thoughts of my brothers, until my cab shows up. After sliding in and giving him my address, I close my eyes and try to let my mind clear, but somehow I think about the past.
Past
The morning after our prom, I woke up feeling amazing. Everything had fallen into place, but I hesitated. Maybe I put Thomas in my dream and that’s why I didn’t remember seeing his tattoo. I brushed the thought aside. I probably saw it and just didn’t pay attention to it.
I took a quick shower, trying to convince myself Thomas really was there. We really did make love. When I got out, there was only one way to find out for sure and that was to talk to Thomas. I wrapped a towel around me and grabbed our phone from the kitchen.
“Morning, Aldo.” Lucy smiled brightly. Her silky gray hair was pulled back into a clip. Lucy was in her early forties, but she was beautiful. There are rarely women who can pull off gray hair, but Lucy not only pulled it off, she owned it. She always joked about how I’d turn gray early too, just like she did. To which I’d reply, Not while there’s hair dye. She was the kind of woman that looked good in anything, which was a good thing, because she wasn’t exactly a fashionista.
“Hurry up and get dressed. I made pancakes,” she called.
“Okay.” I was starving. I went back into my room and shut the door and dialed Thomas’s number. His phone rang and rang before it went to voicemail. Why didn’t he answer?
I dressed in a navy sun dress and brushed my hair. I ate with Lucy, Whit, and Hudson and after breakfast, I washed dishes lost in thoughts of Thomas, while Whit and Hudson discussed Virginia Tech and Lucy knitted at the kitchen table. College was right around the corner. How would I break the news to Lucy that I wouldn’t be going? Thomas told me not to say anything; did that mean I wouldn’t even get to say goodbye?
I went back to my room and shut the door. I dialed Thomas’s number again and it went straight to voicemail. Shit.
“Aldo.” Whit knocked at my door.
“What?” I snapped at him, not meaning to.
“You okay?” he pushed my door open.
“Yeah, sorry, what’s up?”
“We’re going to get some school stuff. Lucy gave us some money. She said we have to go because she has a healing.”
“Here?” Lucy never saw clients at our house. She didn’t want anyone knowing where we lived.
“Yeah,” Whit shrugged and left my room.
I followed Whit into the kitchen. “Why do we have to leave?” I asked Lucy, as she took her jewelry off. She didn’t have a lot. Just some earrings and an initial ring we had given her for Christmas one year. She also wore a chain that held a silver rectangle, but she never took it off.
“Because you guys need to go have some fun. Besides, this is a very sick person and I need to concentrate.”
“Why are they coming here?”
“Her husband doesn’t believe in holistic healing, so she’s doing it behind his back.” She shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“How do you know her?” I asked.
“Thomas referred her.”
“He did?” When was this? He’d been absent from our lives for three weeks.
“Yes, Aldo,” she snapped.
“Are you sure it’s the best idea for you to be alone here with a stranger?”
She looked at me over the rim of her glasses and gave me an, are you seriously asking me that, look.
“Okay.” I shook my head.
“Don’t come back for six hours.” She started fluffing pillows on our couch.
“Six hours?” I plopped down in her recliner.
“Yes.” She used her don’t question me tone. “Whit, go tie up Fred in the backyard. Hudson, take some water out there for him.”
“Why can’t he stay inside?” Whit groaned.
“Because he’ll bark if you three aren’t here to watch him. I don’t want my client getting scared.”
Whit grabbed Fred’s leash and hooked it to his collar. “Come on, boy.” Fred wagged his tail excitedly, thinking Whit was taking him for a walk. Hudson grabbed the biggest plastic bowl he could find and filled it with water and followed Whit out the back door.
Once they got back in, they got their jackets, I grabbed my purse, and we got ready to go. As we were about to leave, Lucy stepped in front of us. “Let me take a picture of you three.”
“Lucy,” Whit and Hudson moaned in unison.
“Oh hush. I only have two pictures left on this thing.”
I stood between Hudson and Whit, their arms around me, and we posed for Lucy. She snapped the first photo, then demanded a second one where we all made stupid faces.
“You three, I swear.” She shook her head and laughed.
“Drop this off to be developed at one of those one-hour places.” Lucy handed Hudson the disposable camera she used to take photos of us dressed up the night before. We were probably the only people on the face of the planet that still used disposable cameras, but Lucy wasn’t technologically savvy. A digital camera for her would have been like me trying to operate a space ship to the moon. It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart enough; she literally had no desire to learn modern technology.
“Okay,” Hudson agreed. She hugged Whit and Hudson both and they went out the door.
“Are you okay, Lucy?” I asked. Her behavior was odd.
“Of course,” she laughed. “You have all grown up so fast. I’m so proud. Especially, of you, Aldo.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. You are an amazing, beautiful, young woman. Your gift is so strong. Your mother would be so proud.” She smiled and tears welled up in her eyes. Any mention of my mother seemed to have that effect on her. “You know I’ve always been hardest on you, because I know you are meant for great things.” She smiled softly.
“I don’t know about that, Lucy.”
“I do.” She reached behind her neck and unhooked the silver chain that held the small thin rectangle and hooked it around my neck.
“You’re giving me your necklace?”
“I want you to have it.”
“Why?” Perplexed, I held the small rectangle in my hand.
“Because it will answer questions for you one day.”
“What questions?”
“You must find the answer to the biggest question first. The rest will come easy.”
“The biggest question?” I counter.
“What are you?”
I stare at her wondering if she’s going batty. “Right now—what I am, is worried my aunt’s been drinking,” I joked
She chuckles. “No. But don’t think you three haven’t brought me to the brink of drinking.”
I laugh. “We’ve been spiking your coffee for years. Jack Daniels seems to calm you best.”
She swats my arm. “Very funny. Now go and have fun with your brothers. I love you very much.”
“Thanks, Lucy. I love you to
o.” I hugged her tight, riddled with guilt that I was going to leave her to run off with Thomas. It would break her heart when she found out. She kissed my forehead and held my face, so that my eyes were forced to look into hers. “Remember, family is everything. We’re stronger together.”
“Okay.” Could Lucy somehow have known of my plans to run off and this was some kind of guilt trip? She kissed me once more and went into the kitchen. I watched her for a moment before I walked out the door.
“What the hell is wrong with Lucy?” I asked my brothers, as I slid into the driver’s seat of the yellow beast.
“I dunno.” Whit shrugged.
Men honestly have no desire to try and understand women. We went to the mall and bought a few things. Lucy gave us a hundred dollars each, but I didn’t buy anything knowing I would not be going to college, but played it off as if I didn’t see anything I liked. Whit and Hudson bought a desk lamp, some plastic dishware, and decided to save the rest of their money for later, which I knew would make Lucy mad. We stopped and ate at the food court, but we still had hours to kill.
I drove by Thomas’s house, convincing the boys he’d like the surprise. No one answered the door. My heart sank a little more. What was going on? We decided to go see Lila, which was actually nice. It took my mind off of Thomas, although seeing Wyatt was awkward at first.
He pulled me aside and apologized which I accepted. I watched Lila and Hudson together and they were so sweet. I hated that college would separate them. Lila got accepted to James Madison University, which wasn’t extremely far from Virginia Tech, so at least they could try to see each other some. By the time we left, it had been six hours and I was eager to get home to see Lucy and call Thomas again.
“We forgot to drop the camera off,” Hudson said.
“We’ll take it later,” Whit replied.
As we made our way down Princeton Avenue, which was a mile from our neighborhood, a huge billow of black smoke darkened the sky line above the trees.
“What is that?” Whit stared out the window.
I followed his gaze and a shiver of panic ran through me. “Lucy,” I whispered. I hit the gas so hard the tires screeched.
