Hopeless

by Cheryl Douglas

  “On paper, you seem the perfect candidate, Victoria.”

  She knew there was a “but” coming. She should have been grateful, now she wouldn’t have to fight her attraction to this man day in and day out, but the perks made it difficult to pretend she wasn’t disappointed. “If you’re concerned since I’ve never managed a studio before…”

  “No, you have the business and marketing experience I’m lookin’ for. You’ve been workin’ part-time as an instructor for six years…”

  She held her breath. “But?”

  “I’d need to see you in action before I decide whether we’re a good fit.” He looked up and their eyes locked for a long, lingering minute. “What I mean is, I’d want to see you lead a class. I need to know you’re comfortable with the students.”

  When she thought of him seeing her in action, her mind shouldn’t have drifted from her horse stance to an image of her astride his powerful body, proving to him firsthand what she was capable of.

  He leaned in closer and his eyes fell to her heaving chest when he whispered, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “Jay…” His name was a plea and a prayer on her lips. She almost hoped he would tell her to go home because she wasn’t the person he was looking for. For the first time, her gaze drifted to his left hand, praying she’d see a gold band marking him ‘off limits,’ but his hand was bare.

  He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, drawing a deep breath. “What the hell is wrong with me today?”

  Whatever it was, she’d obviously been infected as well. “Maybe we should meet again, to discuss this, when you’re feeling up to it?” When I’m not thinking about leaning in and begging you…

  “No.” He scraped his hands over his face. “Let’s just do this now, if that’s okay with you?”

  What choice did she have? It’s not like there was a multitude of martial arts studios looking to hire a manager, and if she stayed where she was, she had no doubt she’d been putting her skills to good use fighting off her new boss. Her instincts told her Jay would never cross any lines or take more than she was willing to give, which made him a safer bet, she hoped.

  “Of course, if you’re sure?”

  He chuckled. “I’m not sure of anything right now. But I still have a business to run, so let’s get to it, shall we?”

  Chapter Two

  Jay watched Victoria lead the green belt class. Her confidence and grace were making him crazy. He’d tried to rein in his reaction at least a dozen times. He lectured himself about paying attention to her form, her interaction with her students, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the curves concealed beneath her shapeless uniform.

  He wasn’t surprised by his attraction to her. He loved strong, powerful women, and she possessed those attributes in spades. She commanded respect from her students, but she was also approachable and genuine in her desire to see her students succeed under her tutelage.

  Jay understood her passion. He’d been studying martial arts since he was five years old, and nothing made him feel the way he felt when he was able to don his uniform and demonstrate his passion to students who were anxious to learn.

  Karen sat down beside him. “Hey there.”

  Jay’s gaze drifted to the dozens of parents scattered in the chairs outlining the perimeter of the room. He’d been so engrossed watching Victoria, he’d barely noticed they were there. “I thought you and Brad were goin’ to the movies after work?”

  Brad and Karen were former students of his, though they were only a year or two younger than him. Brad managed Jay’s first studio, the studio his father, Josh, had opened when Jay was a teenager.

  She rolled her eyes. “He’s still back there helping Beth with her form.”

  Jay grinned. “He’s just doin’ his job, darlin’. You know he’s not interested in her.”

  “Whatever.” She pretended to study her manicure. “I’m thinking it might be time for me to start playing the field anyway, so if he wants her, let him have her.”

  Jay knew Brad was planning to propose to Karen in a few weeks, on their two year anniversary. He sure hoped Karen wouldn’t allow her petty jealousy to wreak havoc with the best thing that had ever happened to either of them. Seeing his two friends fall in love had given Jay hope there just might be someone out there for him, someone who would look at him the way Karen looked at Brad when she thought no one was looking. “You know you love him, and he loves you. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later."

  “I don’t want to talk about him.” She pointed at Victoria. “I want to talk about her. She’s something else, isn’t she?”

  The words Jay would use to describe her hardly seemed appropriate, given the circumstances, so he tried for professionalism instead. “I’d like to see her black belt form, just to make sure she’s got the bases covered. When the kids take a break, I might get Brad to take over this class, so I can get her to work with Beth in the back.”

  Karen touched his arm. “You don’t have to.”

  He chuckled. “I’m not doin’ it for your benefit, honey.” He had no doubt Victoria’s black belt form would be flawless, but he hated to see his friend looking so miserable. “I need to make sure she’s the one.”

  Karen looked up at him, looking serious. “Trust me; she’s the one. You could meet a thousand women and never find another one like her.”

  His gut clenched at her warning. Karen was intuitive. She had killer instincts about people. In fact, when he was questioning his own judgement, she was the one he sought out to set him straight. “You really feel that strongly about her, huh?”

  “I’m as sure about this as I was about Lily bein’ all wrong for you.”

  He’d gathered some friends at Jimmy’s so he could introduce Lily to his core group a few weeks after they started dating, and Karen pulled him aside before the night was over to tell him not to waste his time with her. If he’d heeded her warning, he wouldn’t have spent a year of his life with the wrong woman. “I said it before: I’m lookin’ for a manager, not a girlfriend. So don’t even think about tryin’ to play matchmaker.”

  One of the single mothers seated across the room looked up from her magazine and smiled when she caught his eye. That was another one of his rules. He didn’t date the parents of his students. He didn’t date his adult students. And he sure as hell didn’t date his employees. Ever.

  Karen sighed as she watched Victoria. “I can’t believe you’re bein’ so stubborn about this. When I saw her walk through the door, I damn near peed my pants.”

  Jay laughed and another young, attractive single mom spared him an appreciative glance from beneath her eBook reader. “Oh yeah? Why?”

  “They all looked good on paper, but what were the odds one of them would be so beautiful?”

  “Millions to one,” he muttered. In thirty years, he’d never met a woman who looked like that.

  Karen elbowed him in the ribs. “Then you admit you’re interested.”

  “Any guy with a pulse would have to admit she’s a gorgeous woman, but I’m not interested in crossin’ any lines with her.”

  Karen folded her arms and scowled. “You and your damn rules. When are you gonna cut loose and have a little fun?”

  “I have plenty of fun. I date at least once or twice a week. I shoot pool or watch a game with the boys at Jimmy’s a couple of nights a week...”

  “You’re just goin’ through the motions and you know it.” She looked up at him. “When was the last time you were in love? I mean gut-wrenching, can’t live without her, gotta see her every day or I’ll die love?”

  His college girlfriend, Stacy, but he sure as hell wouldn’t admit it aloud. “You know I don’t have time for a relationship right now. Someday, maybe…”

  She touched his forearm, prompting him to look at her. “What if it never happens? What if you spend your whole life buildin’ a successful business, earnin’ the respect of the martial arts community, and you never find anyone to share your success wi
th?”

  He tried to laugh it off, but the sound died in his throat. He couldn’t make light of Karen’s concern, not when the same thought had crossed his mind more than once. “If it’s meant to be, it will.” He shrugged, wishing he could suppress the fear in his voice. “If it’s not, it won’t.”

  “Hey, don’t you want what your dad and Lexi have, or how about your mom and Derek? Theirs is the kind of love that lasts forever.”

  She was right, he had great examples of love all around him, yet he couldn’t seem to find the right woman for himself. He supposed it would help if he was actively looking.

  “You don’t want to end up like your bonehead brother, do you? A different woman every night, and not a brain cell between them.”

  Jay chuckled. “I’m not worried about endin’ up like him.”

  His twin brother, Mike, claimed he was playing the field. He said he didn’t have the time or patience for a serious relationship, so why should he waste time with women who would expect more than he could deliver? Jay couldn’t argue with his logic, but it seemed so pointless, falling into bed with one woman after another just to take the edge off. Jay was definitely more selective than his brother. He preferred to be in a committed relationship. It just seemed the women he set his sights on were all wrong for him.

  “You know what your problem is, don’t you?”

  “No, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.”

  “You’re purposely choosin’ the wrong women because you’re afraid of making a commitment.”

  He folded his arms over his chest. “Bullshit. I’ve had plenty of long-term girlfriends.”

  “Yeah, but you knew you’d never marry them, so there was no risk. You could waste a year or two, get everyone off your back, and have regular sex without the risk of getting hurt when the relationship eventually ended.”

  He couldn’t deny her claim, but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her statement either, especially when the smug smile on her face told him she already knew she was right.

  “Man, that chick in college really did a number on you. What was her name again?”

  “Stacy.” The mention of her name shouldn’t still hurt after ten plus years, but he assumed the old saying was true; the first cut really was the deepest.

  “Right. I can’t believe you caught her in bed with some other dude. Ouch.”

  Jay hadn’t allowed himself to think about that night in a long, long time. He knew Stacy was the reason he still had trust issues with women. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall for a woman who could break his heart like she did again. If his relationships were all superficial, with both parties knowing they’d eventually run their course, no one would get hurt. “It looks like the kids are gettin’ ready to take a break. Do me a favor; go see what the lady at the front desk wants.”

  “Will do, boss.”

  Victoria was wiping the sweat off her forehead when Jay approached. “Is there a problem?”

  He grinned. “No, you were great out there. I’d like to have someone else take over this class, though. There’s an advanced brown belt in the back I’d like you to work with for a bit. We have a grading comin’ up at the end of the month, and I think she can be ready.”

  “Sure.”

  She fell into step beside him, trying to ignore the fact he towered over her. Victoria was tall for a woman, and she’d never felt particularly feminine, but something about this man made her feel delicate, which was ridiculous, since she could take down most men. Most men… but not this one. Few martial artists were as skilled as Jay, and if there was one thing she admired in a man, it was dedication and commitment.

  “Brad,” Jay said to the man watching the reflection of the woman facing the wall-to-wall mirrors. “I’d like you to meet Victoria. I’m considering her for the management position at the new studio.”

  Brad turned to face her and they both appeared momentarily stunned. “Oh my God, Vicki?” He pulled her into a hug before swinging her around in a low circle. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

  Jay scowled as he took a step back to avoid being hit by flying feet. “You two obviously know each other.”

  Victoria laughed when Brad placed a noisy kiss on her cheek. “Yeah, we went to high school together.”

  “Man, it seems like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it, Vic?” Brad set her down, but continued to hold her hands in his. “Would you believe this little lady was my date to the senior prom? Hey, remember when—”

  Jay cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt your little reunion, but you have a roomful of students waitin’ on you, Easton.”

  Victoria heard the edge in Jay’s voice. Apparently, the boss didn’t appreciate his employees fraternizing on his watch.

  Brad didn’t seem ready to heed the warning. “Hey, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we all go out for a drink after work? I’d love to catch up.”

  “Um, I’m not sure.” Victoria glanced at Jay, who seemed ready to explode at the slightest provocation. “Can I let you know later?”

  “Come on, it’ll be fun. I know my girlfriend, Karen, would love to get to know you better.” He looked over at Jay. “You wanna come, boss?”

  Jay’s gaze lingered on Victoria. “I’m game, if you are.”

  Victoria didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t even know if she had the job yet, and she didn’t want him to feel obligated to hire her because of her friendship with Brad. “You don’t have to come. I mean, if you’re too busy…”

  Jay smirked. “Is that your not-so-subtle way of tellin’ me you’d rather I take a pass?”

  “No, God, no.” What was wrong with her? She was offending the man who may be her new boss in his own studio. “I’m sorry; I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to join us. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

  “Nothin’ comes to mind.”

  Brad leaned into kiss her cheek once more. “Good, it’s settled then. Jimmy’s it is.”

  She scrambled, trying to come up with a viable excuse. It’s not that she didn’t want to catch up with her old friend, but she didn’t trust herself to string two words together with Jay breathing down her neck all night. “But I don’t have anything to wear. I wore a dress here. I just borrowed this uniform from Jay.”

  Brad grinned at Jay. “You borrowed it from Jay, huh? It’s been so long since I’ve heard anyone use your name inside this studio, I almost forgot what it was.”

  Victoria felt the heat infusing her cheeks. When Jay asked her to call him by name in his office, she should have understood the invitation didn’t extend to the studio. The Grand Master deserved respect, and she’d clearly over-stepped her bounds. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean—”

  Jay held up his hand to silence her as he glared at Brad. “Get out there and finish up the class. We’ll talk about this later.” He turned toward the student watching the scene play out with obvious interest. “Sorry, Beth.”

  Beth smiled as her eyes zeroed in on his full lips. “No problem, sir. I didn’t mind waiting. Are you going to be helping me with my form tonight?”

  Victoria barely suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. Could the woman be any more obvious?

  “No.” He gestured toward Victoria. “Victoria, I’d like you to meet one of my most promising students…” He winked at Beth, and she practically melted into a hot, gooey mess at his feet. “Beth Smith.”

  Victoria plastered on her best fake smile and stepped forward to offer the woman her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Beth.”

  The woman barely spared her a glance. Of course, how could she, when all of her attention was fixed on Jay?

  “I’m just gonna stand back and observe tonight. Victoria, I really want you to put Beth through her paces. I want her to be ready for this belt grading on Friday.”

  “I’ve been practicing just like you said, sir. Two hours every day.” She licked her lips. “And I’m getting real good at holding my horse stance.” She took a fraction of
a step toward him. “I bet I could last a whole hour.”

  Victoria knew holding the stance was one of the requirements at the black belt grading, but she had a feeling Beth was implying she had stamina in other areas as well. Victoria waited to see a flicker of arousal in Jay’s eyes when he looked at the well-endowed redhead. She was actually hoping to see it. It would make it so much easier if she could write him off as a womanizer, but he didn’t show even the slightest hint of interest. Damn him.

  “Good to hear.” He gestured toward the chair behind them. “You ladies just do your thing. Pretend I’m not even here.”

  Like that was possible. The man filled every room he was in. Even when she’d been trying to give everything she had to her students in the other room, he kept sneaking into her peripheral vision, distracting her from her mission.

  It took everything in Victoria not to bellow in frustration when the woman’s eyes continued to drift to Jay’s in the mirror. “Courtesy bow,” Victoria said sharply. She began to recite the creed, waiting patiently for Beth to join in.

  “Nice job, ladies,” Jay said, when they were finished. “A couple more sessions and I think you’ll be all set, Beth.”

  Beth turned to Jay, beaming so brightly, Victoria had the urge to protect her eyes from the blinding light. She didn’t know if Jay would appreciate her dry sense of humor, especially at the expense of one of his favorite students, so she barely acknowledged either of them as she made her way back to the dressing room.

  “Probably won’t even notice I’m gone,” she muttered, as she stripped off the borrowed uniform and stepped into the small shower stall. She knew it shouldn’t bother her to see a woman openly flirting with Jay. He wasn’t her friend or her boyfriend; hell, he wasn’t even her boss yet.

  Victoria let the hot water pound her skin as she considered whether she could work with someone that attractive. She wasn’t a saint. She dated, had regular sex, even a casual boyfriend now and then, but she didn’t get serious. Ever. She’d learned early on the only person she could count on was herself.