Hopeless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Jay’s gut clenched, not because Mike called him out, but because he was reading something he didn’t like in his somber expression. “Are you tellin’ me you think there could be something between you and Victoria?”

  “Look, I told her I’m not lookin’ for anything serious, and she isn’t either. But I’m not getting any younger. I wanna settle down and have kids someday, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, sure.” But he sure as hell didn’t want to entertain the idea of inviting Victoria into his family as his sister-in-law or the mother of his niece or nephew. “But…”

  “But nothin’. Look, I’m not in the habit of analyzin’ every girl I go out with. I’m taking her out for dinner. Whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, is none of your business, so back the hell off.”

  Jay watched his brother walk back into the bar, but he didn’t trust himself to follow. Not when he was closer than he’d ever been to lashing out in frustration. He was the calm one of the two. Always in control… disciplined… focused. What the hell was wrong with him today? Ever since Victoria walked into his studio, he’d been on edge, acting out of character.

  The reason for his distraction stepped out of the bar and smiled up at him.

  Damn. The woman was gorgeous. No wonder he couldn’t think straight. He had no doubt he and his brother weren’t the first men to nearly come to blows over her. “Hey, you headin’ out already?”

  “Yeah.” She stepped closer. “Is everything okay with you and Mike?”

  “Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” If he told her the truth, he couldn’t stand the thought of her going out with his brother, he’d have to tell her why, and he wasn’t prepared to cross that line.

  “I don’t want to cause any problems, Jay. If you’d rather I not go out with him, just say the word.”

  Jay knew he had no right to dictate who she went out with; he was her boss, not her lover. “You can date anyone you want. Just be careful with Mike. Like he said, he’s not lookin’ for anything serious. I just hope you’re not one of those girls who assumes she can be the one to change a guy.”

  Her eyes pooled with tears as she shook her head. “No, I learned the hard way you can’t make a person love you, no matter how much you might want them to.”

  “Hey…” He took a step toward her as he struggled with the urge to reach out and touch her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

  “It’s okay. You didn’t say anything wrong.” She pasted a smile on her face as her bottom lip trembled. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve been taking care of myself forever.”

  “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  Victoria tipped her head to the side, as though she was trying to read him. “You don’t even know me. Why do you care whether your brother does a number on me?”

  Jay had always been the more compassionate of the twins. Mike claimed his job made him cynical, but Jay knew he’d been like that long before he’d donned the uniform. He’d noticed a change in his brother around the same time his parents’ marriage started to fall apart, but he never questioned it. He knew Mike was coping the only way he knew how: by shutting down and shutting people out to protect himself.

  “I don’t know. I can’t explain it.” His eyes mapped her face, taking in every soft angle and subtle curve. The long eyelashes most women would have played up with mascara were natural, and her big, dark eyes looked sad, haunted, as though she was hiding a secret too horrible to share.

  “I should go.” She smiled, effectively obliterating the sadness.

  Strangely, he was disappointed to see her replace the mask. He’d sensed he was getting a rare glimpse behind the veil she used to conceal the truth, and he didn’t want her to retreat again. “How ‘bout I bring the coffee in the mornin’? It’s gonna be a long day.”

  “I’m not afraid of hard work.” She winked. “So long as you supply the caffeine.”

  She surprised him by extending her hand. He thought they’d passed the point of resorting to formalities when he held her in his arms in the middle of a crowded dance floor. He took her hand in both of his, grateful for an excuse to touch her.

  “Thanks for giving me this opportunity, Jay,” she said quietly. “I promise I won’t let you down.”

  He couldn’t imagine ever being disappointed in her. “I know you won’t. We’re gonna make a great team, no doubt about it.”

  Victoria looked at him a long time before responding. “Thank you for believing in me.”

  Her words were so heartfelt he felt something shift inside his chest. “You’re welcome.”

  She slipped her hand from his and looked both ways before crossing the parking lot to her late model, compact car.

  Jay couldn’t tear his eyes away from her as he watched her open the door and climb inside. The overhead lighting allowed him a glimpse into the car’s interior. She fastened her seatbelt and gripped the steering wheel, staring off in the distance before she finally started the car and eased her vehicle out of the tight parking space.

  He raised a hand as she drove past him, wishing she didn’t have to go home alone. He’d give anything to have her safely tucked inside his truck, heading back to his place, where they could spend the night wrapped in each other’s arms. It had been so long since he’d felt such a powerful connection with a woman in such a short period of time. He cursed when he remembered this time tomorrow night, she could very well be wrapped in his brother’s arms.

  When he got back inside, Mike was nowhere to be seen, and Brad and Karen were slow dancing to an old Garth Brooks song. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned, hoping Victoria had a change of heart and decided to come back because she wasn’t ready for their night together to end.

  “Hey, stranger.”

  Oh God. Lily. She was the last person he wanted to see tonight. “Hi.” He didn’t invite her to sit down, but she did anyways. “How’ve you been?” Not that he cared.

  “Okay.” She sighed. “I’ve been thinking about you, a lot. I thought about calling you…”

  He wanted to say he was glad she hadn’t, but he couldn’t be rude. “I’ve been pretty busy with the new studio.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re always busy with work, Jay. When’re you gonna learn to relax and have a little fun?”

  Maybe I will when I find someone worth blowing off work to spend time with. “What can I say? It doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do.”

  “Haven’t you missed me?” She took his hand in hers. “Not even a little?”

  “Excuse me.”

  Jay looked up to see Victoria staring down at them, a question in her eyes. He quickly withdrew his hand. “Hey, you’re back…”

  She didn’t even spare Lily a glance. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I seem to have forgotten my cell phone.” She pointed to a Blackberry sitting facedown on the table near the wall. “There it is. Could you pass it to me, please?”

  “Sure.” He pressed the phone into her palm and barely resisted the urge to hold her hand just a little longer. “I was just leavin’. Let me walk you out.”

  “Jay…” Lily said, her tone warning him to stay put unless he wanted her to make a scene in front of his friend. “We weren’t finished talking. I’m sure she can find her way out to the car just fine without your help.”

  Lily did not need to know Victoria could easily take down any man who crossed her path. “I’d feel better if…”

  “It’s okay.” Victoria held his gaze a few seconds before she said, “You don’t have to worry about me.”

  What was it about this woman that aroused all of his protective instincts? He knew she could take care of herself physically, but something told him someone had already hurt her heart beyond repair, and he wanted to make sure no one else got close enough to do it again. “Fine.” He didn’t want to let her go, but she wasn’t giving him a choice. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

  “Bright and early, boss.” Her eyes drifted to Lily for a fraction of a second.
“Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

  Lily waited until she walked away before asking, “So, she’s working for you, huh? I thought you didn’t socialize with your employees?”

  Some of his closest friends were the instructors who led his classes, so he knew where she was going with this line of questioning. “I still don’t date my employees, if that’s what you’re gettin’ at.”

  Lily watched Victoria push the heavy door open and step outside. “Have you told her that? The way she was looking at you… I couldn’t help but think she was hoping for something more.”

  If she was hoping for something more, she wasn’t the only one. “Victoria knows how I feel about mixin’ business and pleasure.”

  “Good.” She reached across the table for his hand. “Where were we?”

  “I was just leavin’.” He threw a few bills on the table to cover their tab and raised his hand to his friends. “Nice seein’ you again, Lily.”

  Victoria didn’t feel like going home to an empty apartment, so she went to the only other place she felt safe: the shelter.

  Her best friend and fellow volunteer, Lindsay, looked up from the small intake desk in the lobby. “Hey, what’re you doin’ here so late? You’re not on the schedule, are you?”

  Victoria had been volunteering as a crisis counselor at the shelter for abused women and children for seven years. When God gave her a new lease on life, she decided to make the most of it and try to heal her past by helping others. “I was just passing by on my way home. Hey, guess what? I got a new job today.”

  Lindsay turned away from the computer monitor and grinned. “No way! Pull up a chair and tell me about it.” She hid a yawn behind her hand. “I could use a little excitement to keep me awake tonight.”

  Victoria glanced at the ever present Styrofoam cup of sludge beside her friend. “Caffeine’s not doing the trick tonight?”

  “Nope.” She kicked her sandaled feet up on the desk. “Okay, so tell me everything. Is it full-time or will you have to keep looking for something else to get by?”

  Victoria had been working part-time as both a waitress and karate instructor since she graduated from college a few years ago. It took her seven years to get her undergraduate degree because she had to work to put herself through school, but it was worth it. Now she had that precious piece of paper and no one could ever tell her she was stupid or worthless again. “I don’t think so. We haven’t discussed compensation yet, but it’s a managerial position in a new studio, so I hope it’ll be enough.”

  “A managerial position in a karate studio? Those are pretty rare, aren’t they?”

  Her friend was right, it was unusual. Most Grand Masters opened one studio and managed the day-to-day operations themselves, but since Jay had four studios, she could understand why he needed to hire outside help. “Yeah, I guess I lucked out.”

  “I’m so happy for you, hon. I know you’ve been looking for an opportunity like this for a long time. Besides, you’ll be able to get out from under the perv’s thumb. That’s gotta feel good, right?”

  Putting her old boss on notice would be sweet indeed. “I can hardly wait to tell him where he can shove his job.”

  “The new boss isn’t like that, is he?”

  “God no! Jay’s great. In fact, he has a pretty strict policy about dating his employees, according to his assistant. Which is great, I think it shows he has character.”

  Lindsay frowned. “If he’s so great, I think it kind of sucks he doesn’t date his employees. You know how hard it is to find a decent guy these days.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I have a date with his twin brother tomorrow night.”

  Lindsay sat up straight and clapped her hands. “Tell me everything. What’s he look like?”

  Victoria pointed to the martial arts magazine she’d tucked in beside the computer monitor during her last shift. “Give me the magazine, and I can show you. Mike and his brother are twins, not identical, but the resemblance is uncanny.”

  Lindsay handed her the magazine and took a sip of her coffee as her friend located the page she was looking for.

  Victoria found the article she’d been reading about Jay and passed it to her friend. “There’s Jay.”

  Lindsay’s mouth fell open. “Oh. My. God. He’s your new boss? The man is gorgeous.”

  Gorgeous, sweet, sexy, funny, successful… every woman’s fantasy. Too bad Victoria didn’t have time to waste fantasizing. “Yeah, he’s cute.”

  “Cute? That’s like saying those competitive bodybuilders are in decent shape.”

  Victoria laughed. “Okay, you’re right. Jay is hot, but so is Mike.” She shrugged. “I think we’ll have fun together.” And going out with Mike was so much safer than spending time alone with his brother. If she hadn’t believed in chemistry before, she certainly did now. Physical appearance had nothing to do with her powerful attraction to Jay. His appeal was so much more than superficial, and that terrified her.

  Chapter Five

  Jay had been awake since the crack of dawn, tossing and turning, watching the sun rise from the window of his high-rise condo and thinking about Victoria.

  By the time he finally reached the studio, coffee tray in hand, he was uncharacteristically tired and cranky. He knew the reason. He had to spend the day fighting his attraction to the woman who would likely end the night in his brother’s arms.

  Buying suites next to each other seemed like a good idea at the time, but if Jay had to listen to his brother’s headboard pounding against his bedroom wall tonight, he was going to have to go over there and pound on him to relieve some of his mounting frustration.

  “Morning, boss,” Victoria said, slipping in through the glass door while his back was turned.

  He felt her presence in every nerve ending of his body even before he turned around to face her. She was infiltrating the spacious room with her subtle, spicy scent… her energy. Some force he couldn’t identify almost drew him to her without thinking about the consequences. He wanted to pull her into his arms again, only this time he didn’t want to let go.

  “Mornin’,” he said, bringing his take-out cup to his lips.

  She brushed his shoulder as she reached in to take the other cup from the tray. “You’re a man of your word. I like that.”

  Jay almost wished he wasn’t so rigid, always doing what he said he would, honoring his word, living and dying by his damn principles. If it weren’t for his stupid policies, he’d be the one taking Victoria out to dinner tonight instead of his brother. He almost suggested she ditch Mike and go out with him instead, until he remembered her experience with her last boss. He didn’t want her to think he’d hired her just because he was trying to get her into bed.

  “The painters finished up yesterday. They’re gonna come back this morning and do the touch-ups. The cleaning crew will be in to do their thing this afternoon.”

  “Sounds good. What have you got in store for me today?” Her tongue flicked out to catch a drop of coffee and his body responded immediately. He shifted, standing behind the tall glass counter to conceal his obvious reaction to her.

  “I thought we’d get started on the offices. The furniture’s in place, but a few things still have to be assembled, and we’ll need to pick up the office supplies.”

  “Sure, whatever you need. I’m at your service.” She wandered to the window and his eyes traveled the length of her long, muscular legs. She was wearing cut-off jeans shorts, a tight black tank top, and flip flops. Her long hair was pulled up in a ponytail and her face was free of make-up.

  Jay knew she wasn’t trying to look sexy. She came dressed for work, but she wore short shorts better than any woman he’d ever laid eyes on. “Let’s finish our coffee before we get started. There’s some multigrain bagels in the bag, in case you didn’t have time for breakfast.”

  She smiled. “I grabbed a banana and yogurt at home, but thanks.”

  “Did you sleep well last night?”

  She wri
nkled her nose, which made him smile. “Not really. I stopped by to see a friend before I went home, so I got in pretty late.”

  His smile fell. She stopped by to see a friend at that hour? He couldn’t hide the edge in his voice when he said, “Must be some friend to be entertaining guests in the middle of the night.”

  She frowned. “She was at work. I just stopped by to keep her company.”

  He felt like a jerk for jumping to the wrong conclusions and acting like a jealous boyfriend, instead of her boss. Trying to make up for his inappropriate outburst, he said, “I’m sure she appreciated the company.”

  “She did. She’d had a rough night.”

  “Sorry to hear that.” He wanted her to tell him about her friend, but more importantly, he wanted her to tell him more about herself. He wanted to know everything from her favorite food to her favorite color to whether she slept in an old T-shirt or the buff.

  She pointed to the new custom chopper parked outside. “Is that your bike?”

  “Sure is.” He grinned. “Motorcycles and martial arts are my two passions in life.”

  She laughed. “I can’t say I’m surprised.” She looked at the half sleeve decorating his arm under his black t-shirt. “I can picture you on a bike.”

  “You like to ride?”

  Her eyes darkened and she looked away. “I don’t believe in taking chances with my life.”

  He was more than a little sensitive about this topic. He’d had the same argument with his mother dozens of times over the years. “You think ridin’ a motorcycle is puttin’ your life at risk? Would you be surprised to know statistically your chances of getting killed in a car are greater?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Only because more people drive cars.”

  She had him there. Damn, she was smart, strong, sexy… How the hell was he going to be able to resist her? “So, I couldn’t talk you into takin’ a ride with me sometime?”

  Victoria glanced out the window and he saw something in her eyes: longing. “I don’t think so, but thanks for the offer.”