“Yes. Let’s go to Harrah’s. Now. I can’t wait, Annie. I don’t think you understand the SEAL community. We will have a ton of paperwork to fill out, have to get your ID card, all your benefits, and my life insurance. Get on the housing list; since I’d rather you live on base where they can keep you safe. This is the only way it will work. I can’t be deployed and have you back home without a safety net. There’s an eighty percent divorce rate but I won’t let us be a statistic. I’ll never cheat on you, you don’t have to worry about that. But it won’t be easy. Though, compared to what you’ve been through it should be a piece of cake.”
“But my parents—”
I stopped her with a kiss. I didn’t want to hear about her parents. I needed to protect her from them.
She paused, her lip caught in her teeth, then smiled. “Now. Let’s do it.”
This was the only way I could protect her. Seeing her happy face replaced the image in my head of the sad girl in the brothel and brought me peace. I rarely had peace or even desired it. My fucking bumper sticker read “Give War a Chance”.
We finally made our way back down the trailhead, found my truck, and drove off toward the Douglas County Administration Building to get our wedding license. Annie called en route and we were able to get an appointment, and the chapel had an opening in an hour. Getting our license didn’t take long, and we drove to a jewelry store to get wedding bands.
I picked out a small white gold one for her to match her engagement ring and she bought me a titanium band. She seemed to love her engagement ring, even though I couldn’t afford to get her a huge rock. I never lived beyond my means. Annie had to be happy with life as a Navy wife. There would be no luxurious vacations and no beachfront mansions. But she’d never starve and I’d always provide for her; she knew that.
I didn’t feel nervous. I was fucking sure about it. Once I made a decision, I never wavered.
The attendant signaled that we were next. The chapel overlooked the lake.
Annie pulled me aside. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Positive.”
“I never thought I’d get married. I used to think that even if I escaped, no man would ever love me, or my son. That I’d always be Star. I’d always be seen as nothing but a whore. Then I met you and you gave me hope. Not hope that you would love me; I didn’t love myself. Just hope that I would one day get my life back. Even after you saved me, I didn’t think there could ever be a chance for us. You seemed so tough, so strong, and so invincible. And you’re sexy. I mean, you look like an action movie star. You could get any girl, why would you want me?”
“I’ve always wanted you. Even though I fought it. I felt so guilty about hiring you. And I never saw you as Star. That’s why the first night I asked what your real name was.”
She touched my face. “See. You’re the only person who I’m positive doesn’t see me like that. But you constantly said over and over that you didn’t want a relationship until you retired. I figured the kiss on the boat meant you were taking pity on me.”
“Never, I just couldn’t let—”
She silenced me with a finger on my lip. “When you told me at my house that we shouldn’t see each other again, I thought that was it. You crushed me. And I was actually trying to make peace with living in a world without you in it. I focused on getting strong and healthy. Seeing you returning from deployment was bittersweet, because I didn’t think you wanted to even get to know me. I don’t know what switched inside your head, but you’ve made me the happiest woman ever. I’m so happy you chose me in the brothel. Every day in captivity I played the ‘what if’ game. What if I hadn’t gone to Aruba? What if I hadn’t been drunk that night? What if I hadn’t left my room that morning? There are no more ‘what ifs’ in my life. I’m present. I’m here now. And if I could go back in time and choose not to get kidnapped, I wouldn’t change a thing. Honestly. Because that nightmare brought me Gabriel. And to you. To think you were living in San Diego when I was in high school and we never met. We are meant to be together. Forever. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make you happy.”
“I love you and promise to take care of you and Gabriel for the rest of my life.” I didn’t cry, but I did choke up.
The officiant came back to the center of the chapel and started the ceremony.
Annie glowed. We both held Gabriel’s hands as we stood in front of the altar. We were dressed in our hiking clothes, but this was our wedding, our way. I’d give her the wedding of her dreams when I returned from deployment. But I’d pay for everything, and her parents wouldn’t be invited.
“Do you, Patrick Joseph Walsh, take this woman whose hand you now hold, to be your true and wedded wife; and do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses to love, cherish, honor and protect her, to forsake all others for her sake; to cleave unto her, and her only, with her forever until death shall part you?”
My heart pounded in my chest. “I do.”
“Do you, Analía Rose Hamilton, take this man who now holds your hand, to be your true and wedded husband; and do you solemnly promise before God and these witnesses to love, cherish, honor and protect him, to forsake all others for his sake; to cleave unto him and him only, and him forever until death shall part you?”
Annie beamed. “I do.”
We exchanged rings. And then I heard the words I was waiting for.
“Therefore, by the power vested in me by the laws of the state of Nevada, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”
I cupped Annie’s face and kissed her. She jumped on me and I twirled her around.
“I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Walsh.”
Annie was mine now. Gabriel was mine. I was a father. Forever. We all shared the last name of Walsh. And no one would ever hurt my wife and son again.
37
Annie
I GLANCED DOWN AT THE ring on my finger. I was a married woman now. I never thought any man would love or accept Gabriel and me. But Pat loved me; I knew he did, not just from his words, but from his actions.
We’d celebrated all day on the lake, playing in the sand on the beach. Gabriel loved Pat. And though I hadn’t been able to choose Gabriel’s birth father, I had just given Gabriel the best gift of all. I’d chosen him the best father for life. Pat accepted Gabriel as his own. And it made me love him even more.
Patrick began Gabriel’s bedtime routine as I snuck up to the bedroom. I felt more nervous than ever. Despite my proclamations that I was healed, would I shut down during sex? Push him away, cry from pain instead of pleasure?
I drew myself a hot bath and slipped in. Strawberry scented bubbles filled the tub, and I relaxed into the suds. Tonight was a new beginning for me. I would wash my past away.
I heard the bedroom door creak open. I didn’t want to wait another minute. I let out the water, exited the tub, and slathered on some lotion. A white silk camisole and matching panties beckoned me. I glanced at my body in the mirror. All the years I’d been taken, I’d hated myself. But now, I really saw myself as beautiful. I was a wife, I was a mother. I wasn’t dirty, I wasn’t a whore. And I couldn’t wait to make love to my husband.
I exited the bathroom. Patrick sat on the edge of the bed, and he just stared at me. “God, you’re perfect. I love you, Mrs. Walsh. You’re all mine now.”
I focused on him. His beauty, his strength. His muscles sculpted from carrying boats over his head, pushing logs on the beach. Rugged and real, he was mine. I undressed for my husband, slowly, his blue eyes following my every move.
I placed my arms around his neck, his masculine scent driving me wild. His lips traveled from my face, to my ears, to my neck. We kissed, slowly, emotionally.
I wanted him to feel how much I loved him. I tugged at his belt, and pulled off his shorts.
He stopped and reached for a condom. But condoms seemed dirty to me, reminded me of being back at the brothel. I pushed it out of his hand.
�
�Babe, I want to feel every inch of you inside me. Please, make love to me.”
He seemed almost hesitant as I took off his boxers. I leaned in to take him into my mouth, but he pushed me away.
A look of shame crossed his face. “No.” He placed his hand on the swell of my back, kissed my lips. “Come here.”
I climbed on top of him, grinding my hips into his. His hands cupped my ass, steering my movements, pushing me toward pleasure.
He nuzzled his head into my chest, licking, sucking, rubbing my nipples. No more teasing. I couldn’t wait any longer; I wanted to feel him inside of me.
“Now, I want you now. Please, don’t make me wait any longer.”
I needed him. All of him. Completely.
We were face-to-face, bodies intertwined. He slowly guided me onto him, staring into my eyes. I gasped as I felt his hard cock penetrate me. But my fear went away. There were no flashbacks. We were finally becoming one. After all the nights of longing, apart, we’d made our way back to each other. This man, my husband, loved me. He kissed my face, went slow, and let me control the motion, the need.
He kissed my nipples. Then stopped, cupped my chin and looked me in the eyes. “I love you, baby.”
My confidence rose. This wasn’t some cheap sexual encounter. He was now the father of my child.
He sucked on my nipples as I rode him, I couldn’t get enough. Slow and shallow at first, then fast and deep. Every push and pull felt incredible. His big arms, his sexy chest, he was so goddam sexy. I was so fucking wet, there was a deep throbbing in my belly, in my soul. Faster, deeper, every thrust, every moan, brought me closer to Pat. “Pat, oh-my-God. Pat.”
“Come for me, baby.”
His words took me over the edge. I was almost there, but I held back, wanting to stay at this pleasure point for as long as I could. My hips bucked, I thrashed on him, rocking on his hips, little circles and twists, my core on fire.
“Pat, you’re so fucking incredible. OhmyGod. Pat.” I came, again and again, his body steady, waiting out my pleasure. Euphoria overtook my body, and he finally exploded inside me. Filling me with such joy. This was the most amazing high ever, even better than heroin.
“I love you, Annie. Finding you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
I collapsed onto the bed. For once, I didn’t need to explain my feelings, my emotions. I cuddled up into my husband’s strong embrace, and he rocked me to sleep.
38
Patrick
A FEW DAYS LATER, I woke up with her in my arms. Her head was tucked under my chin and she was curled up in front of me, leg thrown over my thighs and hair strewn across my pillow.
I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. I needed the connection that only she was able to provide. The movement startled her and her eyes shot open and she gasped. When she realized it was me, her body relaxed and she gave me a sleepy smile.
“Good morning.”
“Morning.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s early. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“That’s okay.” She snuggled closer and kissed my jaw line. “This is nice. What do we have planned today?”
“Well, I figured we could stop by my mom’s on the way back to San Diego, say hi. I haven’t called her since I got back and she would probably want to know her baby boy has gotten himself married to a beautiful woman, and has a son.”
She jerked backwards. “You haven’t called your mom since you’ve been back? Patrick Walsh how could you!” She paused, then her eyes widened and she rolled out of bed. “Oh, my God, I have to get dressed.”
I grabbed for her, but she pulled away and started babbling to herself as she sorted through her things. “Baby, come on. She’s not going to care what you look like, I promise.”
“Says you. Of course, she’s going to care what I look like. I can’t meet your mom for the first time looking like a mess.”
She grabbed a pile of things and headed toward the bathroom, but I jumped out of bed and stopped her. “All she will see are the same things I see when I look at you. Someone who is strong, loyal, and kind. I don’t want you to freak out about this. Trust me; she will think you’re the best woman on Earth.”
Tears filled her eyes and I crushed her to my chest. “Please, don’t worry,” I told her. “She’s going to love you. You look beautiful in anything.”
Later, we pulled up to my childhood home. It looked the same, and even though it was a dump, it was home to me. My mom had scraped and saved all her money to buy this place so I could have a permanent home.
My mom ran out the door, her hair with a few more gray streaks than the last time I saw her. “Pat, I’m so happy you’re home. Is this your new girlfriend?”
When I called to tell her I was coming by, I’d simply told her I was bringing someone special. I owed it to my mom to tell her in person. “Mom, this is Annie. Annie Walsh. And our son, Gabriel.”
My mom clutched my arm. Her eyes immediately darted to Annie’s left ring finger and then to her belly. “You eloped and didn’t tell me? Pat, how could you?”
“Sorry, Mom. I proposed last week and we got married that day. I wanted to do it before I deployed again and we were in Nevada. We’ll have a big wedding later.”
My mom and I had always been close. She knew my views on marriage and that I would never ever enter into it lightly. I’d been raised to respect women. Even if I had veered off course. “I’m a grandmother?” She knelt down and hugged Gabriel. “Is there another baby on the way?”
“Jesus, Mom. No. She’s not pregnant.” At least I didn’t think she was. We hadn’t been using protection and we’d been making love every chance we could.
Annie stood by my side. Her own parents were so icy. I figured she didn’t even know what to say to my mom.
“Well, come inside.” My mom hugged Annie. “Welcome to the family. I always wanted a daughter and a grandson.”
“It’s an honor to meet you, Mrs. Walsh.”
“Please, Annie, call me Tracy. Or better yet Mom, if you feel comfortable. I have to get to know the woman who tamed my son. Gabriel, do you like trains?”
We went inside and sat on the sofa. My mom found one of my old train sets and set it out for Gabriel. She had prepared all my favorites: meatloaf, mashed potatoes, zucchini boats, and chocolate chip cookies. All from scratch.
Annie went into the bathroom to freshen up, Gabriel was watching television, and my mom pulled me inside the kitchen.
“Patrick Joseph Walsh, she is the Annie Hamilton, isn’t she? The girl from all the news stories who ran away from her family?”
I could never lie to my mom. “Yes. But that story was a cover up by her parents. She was kidnapped and forced into sex slavery. Gabriel is her child by the man who’d kidnapped her.”
Her mouth dropped. “Are you serious? I never believed the story on the news. There’d been sightings of her, even pictures on some escort website.” My mom lived for true crime stories, people who vanished without a trace, unsolved mysteries. She probably knew more about Annie’s disappearance than I did. “Pat, were you the one who saved her?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know how most moms would react to finding out their son had married a former prostitute, even if the girl had been kidnapped. But my mom wasn’t most moms.
“I’m proud of you, son. You’re a great man.”
I winced. I’d left out the part that I’d hired Annie in the brothel. My mom didn’t need the details. She’d be disgusted by me.
“As a woman, I’m even prouder of the fact you can love her and look beyond her past. Not many men would be able to do that and treat her with respect. And love another man’s child.” Her eyes looked pained. I knew she always felt guilty, that it was somehow her fault that I never had a dad. “She’s lovely and so is my grandson. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
Annie emerged and sat down on the sofa. My mom brought out old
photo albums and decided to embarrass the shit out of me.
“Here’s Pat with his favorite teddy bear.”
Annie loved the old pictures. I just sat back and watched her bond with my mom. If I’d taken the reward money her dad offered, I could’ve bought my mom a new house. I wished I could take care of her, maybe even move her down to San Diego so she could be close to Annie and Gabriel when I was gone.
“So what was Pat like as a kid?” Annie asked, with a gleam in her eye.
“Pat was very sweet and sensitive. Very attached to me. Loved trains and dogs. Always tried to protect me.”
“So, pretty much exactly how he is now.”
I laughed. “I’m hardly sweet.”
“You are, too. And super romantic. He remembers everything I say. Then he stores it in his brain and when I’m not expecting it—bam! All my dreams come true.”
My mom was eating this up. I rarely had the chance to spend quality time with her anymore, so I think getting a glimpse into my adult life was fascinating to her.
After humiliating me a bit more, Mom finally put the albums away. We put Gabriel to sleep.
“Well, Annie,” Mom said, “it’s been a pleasure. Please, you’re welcome in my home anytime. When Pat deploys, I hope you’ll come up here and visit me. I want to get to know my daughter-in-law and my grandson.”
“I’d love that.”
They hugged, then my mom turned to me.
“I love you, Patrick. I’m so proud of you.”
“Love you, too.”
Annie and I went to my childhood room and snuggled up in bed. My Little League awards were still on the shelves, a cheesy poster of a topless Britney Spears wearing nothing but white cotton panties trimmed with pink lace hung on the wall. Exactly as I had remembered.
Annie glanced around the room. Probably wondering why my room was stuck in a time warp and hers had been turned into a museum. “I love your mom. She’s so different from mine. Sweet and warm.”
This was my opportunity. I had to tell her. But I couldn’t. She seemed so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin it.
BEAST: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Page 32
