“She’s your family now. And she means it—when I’m gone, if you get lonely, fly up here. She’ll take care of you and Gabriel. I need you to promise me you’ll come see her.”
“Of course, I will.” She kissed me. We lay there a while in the dark. “Pat, I’m worried about telling my parents we eloped. You’re coming with me, right?”
Damn straight. She wasn’t setting foot in that house without me. And if my talk with her father went as I expected it would, I doubted she’d ever see them again. “You can count on it.”
She drifted to sleep in my arms. Before I met Annie, my only goal in life was to survive and protect my fellow men. But now, my attention was split. I felt torn by my desire to protect her and loyalty to my Team. Maybe this is why I’d always felt the Navy didn’t want the SEALs to have wives or families, despite what they said about the importance of a support system. Because, if I had to choose between my Team and Annie, without a doubt I’d choose her.
39
Patrick
I WOKE THE NEXT MORNING to the sound of Gabriel singing Thomas the Train songs. Annie was missing from my bed. I threw on some clothes and followed the scents of coffee and bacon into the kitchen.
After breakfast, I’d planned to show Gabriel and Annie around my town.
“Why don’t you two newlyweds sneak away? I can take Gabriel to the river train. I want to bond with my grandson.”
I looked at Annie. We hadn’t been alone—like ever. Except that hour on the beach in Coronado.
“It’s fine, Mom. We can all go to the train together.” I didn’t feel right leaving Gabriel alone. I trusted my mom, but he didn’t know her.
Annie put her hand on my thigh. “Gabriel will be fine. Don’t worry about him. Let’s get out of here.”
“Relax, Pat. I raised you; I can watch my own grandson. We will have fun.”
“Fine, Mom. Call me if you need anything. We’ll be nearby.”
Annie and I said goodbye to Gabriel, and left.
I didn’t have a fucking clue where to take her. “I’ll show you around Sacramento.”
Annie had a glint in her eye, she licked her lips. “I have a better idea. Let’s go to a hotel.”
Didn’t have to ask me twice. “Sounds like a plan.”
Blood rushed through my body, my mind went wild. Yes, Annie was my wife. And we’d made love every day since we’d been married. But I couldn’t help but hold back. Gabriel was always around, and I was still paranoid about Annie having flashbacks. All my fantasies about her just didn’t seem right knowing about her past. My only goal was to make her happy. So our lovemaking had been sweet, tame, loving. Incredible, emotional, intense. But I wanted to get raw, dirty, nasty. Did she?
I tossed the valet my keys. Annie wrapped her body under my arms, stroking my leg, nuzzling my neck. We walked up to the reception desk, Annie’s hands all over me.
“Welcome to the Sacramento Hilton. Do you have a reservation?”
“No, we don’t. Just a room for the night, please.”
Annie whispered into my ear, “I want you. I can’t wait for you to touch me. Fuck me.”
The middle-aged clerk with mousy brown hair pulled into a tight bun raised her eyebrow at us.
Annie was giggling, kissing me. I kept my cool and handed the clerk my credit card.
I couldn’t race to the room fast enough.
When we arrived on our floor, I scooped Annie in my arms. I never had a chance to carry her over the threshold. The first time we’d made love, was about me making sure she was okay, not traumatized. Now, I wanted to fulfill her fantasies.
I placed her on the bed, about to kiss her. But she had other ideas.
She pounced on me, wrapping her arms and legs around me.
Game time. I’d been dying to take control.
I shoved her against the wall, pinning her wrists above her head. She writhed in my grasp. My lips took hers, not loving kisses; we’d had enough of those. Strong, desire, lust. It wasn’t sweet—it was primal, raw. Mine, she was my woman.
Before I could go further, I had to tell her something. “You have to promise to let me know if you are okay.”
“Shut up, Pat, and fuck me.”
Yes, ma’am. Her words went straight to my cock. Our kisses were frenzied, frantic. Her hands dropped to my belt, she pushed my jeans to the floor. I hiked up her skirt, rubbed her wet pussy through her panties.
“Pat, baby, don’t stop.”
I had no intention of stopping. I slid her panties off but kept her heels on. A wicked smile across her face melted me.
I knelt beneath her, dying for a taste. My mouth attacked her lips, plunging into her wet flesh. Her hips arched and she gasped. My fingers pressed up inside of her. She was so moist, so tender.
Her grip tightened on my hair, and she pulled me up.
I turned her toward the wall, one hand on her clit, rubbing her warm pussy.
I paused for a second, just to glance at her again. We needed this moment; I needed reassurance that she really wanted me like this. She squeezed my hand, and I knew she was present.
I slid my cock into her. She let out a long moan. My hands cradled her fine ass, every thrust, every push, bringing me closer to her core.
“Pat, oh my God. You’re so hard, baby. Don’t stop fucking me.”
I fucked her deeper, faster. Every time she let out a pleasure filled sigh, it almost sent me straight to the edge. I cupped her breast with one hand and pressed her clit into my other hand.
“You feel so fucking good baby. You’re so wet.”
Her pussy clenched around me and released. It was so fucking hot.
She gasped, I knew she was close. She dug her nails into my thighs. “I’m going to come baby.”
“Mine, Annie. You are mine. Forever. I fucking love you.” I had intended to keep the love talk out of it, but I didn’t care. I was so sprung on her, on my wife. The safety, the love, the comfort. Knowing that no man but me would ever touch her. That I trusted her. I knew that when I left on this deployment, she wouldn’t cheat. I’d never felt that security.
I turned her to me, wanted to see her beautiful face, watch her mouth curl as she came. I threw her onto the bed, and climbed on top of her. Her hair was wild, her face was flush. A blanket of joy washed over her face.
She rocked her hips up on mine, taking me in deeper with every thrust. Licking her nipples, kissing her neck, my cock throbbed. Her pussy was so wet, so swollen, so hot.
“Fuck, Annie. Come for me, baby.”
“Pat, ohmyGod. Yes.”
Her pussy clenched on my cock.
“Annie!” I cradled her through her orgasm. She came again, and again. Her pussy crashed down on me and I let myself go.
It wasn’t about the sex; I loved her no matter what. But I never thought we’d get here. I never thought we’d be able to have a normal sex life, that I’d always have to be careful with her. Knowing that we could fulfill all of each other’s fantasies, without having her flash back, made me love her even more.
When we finally separated, my body shivered. For once, our roles reversed, she turned to comfort me. “You okay?”
I touched my wife, kissed her on the neck. “No, Annie. I don’t want to leave you. I can’t imagine being away from you.”
“You’ll never be away from me. When I was waiting for you to come back for me, I just focused on your energy. I felt your presence. We are connected. Deeply. We will never be apart.”
For the first time in my life, I imagined a life outside of the Teams. Being a SEAL was the only thing I’d ever wanted to do. I thought marrying her would make it easier for me to go, knowing she was taken care of. But I had no desire to go a day without my wife and child by my side.
40
Patrick
AFTER WE LEFT MY MOM’S house, we spent a day in Marin County and then took scenic Highway 1 along the coast back to San Diego. I couldn’t wait to come back from deployment and plan a real honeymoon with Annie. N
o Caribbean getaway, that was for sure. We talked about spending time in Carmel-by-the-Sea, Half Moon Bay, Big Sur, and Santa Barbara. With Gabriel, of course.
Annie wanted to go straight to her parents’ house. I debated convincing her to wait a few days, but I’m sure she’d fight with me. That was fine. I wanted to get this over with.
I dropped Gabriel and Trigger off at Kyle’s house. I didn’t want Gabriel near Annie’s dad, and luckily she didn’t protest. Gabriel was my son now, and I would protect him. Annie called and told her parents we’d be stopping by for her to pick up the rest of her stuff.
My mind raced. I had to be smart and watch what I said. I’d given Matt my word. I was leaving in a few weeks and I wanted to make sure her father was out of her life.
Before I met Annie, I’d planned to apply to the world famous SEAL Team Six, known as DEVGRU. They were stationed in Virginia Beach and it would be great to put distance between Annie and her dad. I’d just become eligible—they required five years of stellar service in the Teams and the selection process took six to eight months. But those SEALs were the real badass SEALs, the ones who took down Bin Laden during Operation Neptune Spear. It would mean more time training, even less time with Annie. But it was a career goal of mine. I would make my decision once I came back from this next deployment, and I knew Annie would support my choice one hundred percent.
The gate opened to Annie’s parents’ house. Last time I came here, I was nervous. This time, I was pissed.
Let’s roll.
We walked up the stairs to the front door. Before Annie could get out her key, the door opened. Her dad stood in front of us, with his nostrils flaring.
“What are you doing here, Annie? I told you not to set foot again in this house as long as you were seeing him.”
What the fuck? I glared at Annie. I guess we both kept our secrets to protect each other.
“I’m not seeing him, Dad. I’m married to him. He’s my husband.”
Annie’s mom popped around the corner; her eyes bugged out of her expressionless face. “Annie! Baby. How could you elope?”
I still couldn’t figure her mother out—did she know her husband had found her “baby” and left her there to die? Of course, this was the woman who couldn’t wait to redecorate Annie’s room. My impression was she cared more about her image than her own daughter, but what did I know?
Annie’s dad didn’t even acknowledge his wife. “Mr. Walsh, I’d like a word with you.”
“My pleasure.” I’d like a word with him, too. I’d also like to put a bullet in his head.
The asshole took me into his office this time. I’m sure he had a gun under his mahogany desk. I wasn’t worried; my weapon was concealed and accessible.
He sat in his black leather chair and poured himself a shot of whiskey from the bottle on his desk.
He bared his teeth at me. “I thought I told you to stay away from Annie. You trying to get more money out of me, boy? Name your price. Then you can tell Annie you made a mistake and get an annulment.”
“I don’t have a price.”
“Fine, you leave me no other choice than to report you for visiting a brothel. Your career will be ruined and I’ll make damn sure you’re kicked out of the Teams.”
I cocked my head. This guy not only left his daughter and grandson to live in hell, but wanted to ruin any chances she had of happiness. I wasn’t threatened. “No, you won’t. Because I’m not the only one with a secret. I know everything about exactly how hard you tried to save Annie. Do the words Neptune Group mean anything to you?”
His posture slumped and he ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what you think you know, but you’re wrong. I tried everything to save her. They couldn’t find her; that’s the God’s honest truth.”
“You can lie to me all you want, but we both know you left her there to die. Why? Because you were embarrassed about Gabriel? How can you not love him? He’s your grandson. I’m not an idiot; something didn’t sit right with me. We have eyes everywhere, remember that.”
Eyes steady, he squeezed the whiskey glass, and his knuckles whitened until I was certain something was going to break. “How dare you, you cocky son of a bitch! Come into my house and threaten me? No one would believe you.”
I laughed. “Try me.”
“What do you want, Walsh?”
“Simple, and it won’t cost you a penny. Stay the fuck away from my wife and son. If I hear you so much as text her, I’ll come after you. I’m not sure if your wife is in on this, but if she reaches out to Annie, that’s fine. I’m making this easy on you. Tell Annie you can never accept me as her husband and make her choose between you and me. She’ll choose me. The only reason I’m not telling Annie the truth is to protect her, not you. It would crush her, and she’s been through enough. I refuse to add to her pain. I’m deploying soon, but Annie will be safe here with my buddies. If I find out you try to hurt her or Gabriel in any way, you won’t live to regret it. Understood?”
He nodded but wisely remained silent.
“Good talk.” I walked out of the room. Annie’s mom was talking to her about throwing a wedding reception.
“Come on, Annie. Let’s go.”
“Already? I haven’t packed my stuff.”
“I’ll buy you new stuff.”
Annie’s dad walked out of his office. I gave him a stern look.
“He’s right, Annie. Leave. We don’t want to see you again. I can never accept Pat into this family. You made your choice when you married him. You’re dead to us.”
He must’ve been relieved—after all, he’d already declared her dead once before.
Annie bit her lip, but she didn’t break down. It was almost as if she expected this.
“I love Pat and if you can’t accept him, I don’t care. I learned to live without you once, I’ll do it again. Sometimes I think you both wish I never came back. I was worth more to you dead than alive. Pat’s the only one who loves Gabriel and me. Don’t ever contact me again.”
She clutched onto me and we walked out the front door. I hoped we never had to see them again.
We got into my truck and cruised down to my place. She looked out the window the whole way. Not a single word came from her. I didn’t know what to say.
Finally, I offered, “I’m sorry, Annie.”
“It’s not your fault. I meant what I said in there. I love you and I don’t care what they think. He’ll never accept you, and he always acted weird around Gabriel.”
I placed my hand on her thigh. I was all she had now. I wasn’t one of those men who wanted to isolate his woman from her family and friends. I wished Annie’s family were decent people and I was fine if she wanted to maintain contact with Chris. But as long as I lived, no one would ever hurt Annie or Gabriel again.
41
Annie
I DIDN’T SHED A TEAR as Pat drove away from my parents’ house. Why the fuck should I care what they thought about my husband? Pat was the one who rescued me. Pat was the one who treated Gabriel as his own, not some bastard child to be hidden.
Yes, Pat made a mistake by going to the brothel. He knew now hiring a hooker was wrong. He was lonely. But one truth I learned during my time as a prostitute was that all men were not bad. It wasn’t always about sex. Sometimes it was just about companionship, warmth, and affection.
What would my new life look like? Everything was fine now, while he was here. But he would be gone soon. And we’d be alone. I knew I could handle it, I promised Pat I could.
I was scared. What if Pat was killed on his next mission? I couldn’t imagine losing him, losing our newfound happiness, just as we started our life together.
I finally understood all of Pat’s deep concerns about marriage to a SEAL. I’d been through enough pain and anguish in my life. I had to believe, I did believe that true happiness was in store for me. That Pat would be returned to me safely, and we would have a long and happy marriage.
I’d stopped making plans for
the future years ago. In the brothel, I lived in the past. Since I’d been home, I’d lived in the present. But now, I was brave enough to finally live not only in the present, but also plan for my future.
I wasn’t perfect—by far. I had a long way to go still in my healing process. But having Pat’s unconditional love helped me love myself.
42
Patrick
IT WAS FIVE A.M. ON deployment day. I didn’t know exactly how long I’d be gone, but I knew it was at least three months. Annie and I had spent a great couple of weeks together. We were assigned wonderful housing off-base in Point Loma, near Liberty Station. It was a three-bedroom townhouse with a small yard for Trigger. We made Gabriel a great Thomas the Train room and I’d been taking him to soccer and swimming. I introduced Annie to all the SEAL wives and, of course, they loved her. They saw her just how I did, as a strong woman. The SEAL wives had promised to keep her busy while I was away. Maybe I’d been wrong about marriages in our community. Yes, most fail. But the ones that worked were because of the strongest, most loyal women. And I knew Annie was the strongest of them all.
Annie enrolled in college again. She was majoring in sociology, which sounded depressing and useless to me, but who was I to judge? I had a high school diploma and no need for a college degree. Annie also threw herself into yoga and volunteering at the animal shelter. Our love grew deeper by the day, and for the first time since I’d become a SEAL, I dreaded deploying. I hated the thought of leaving her and my son.
Kyle and Vic would be deploying with me. They were both still tragically single, which was ironic since I was the one of the three of us who’d been the most dead-set against a relationship.
Annie stood outside on our tiny balcony. The breeze blew her hair off her face. She was wearing a sundress that showed off her tan skin. She looked up to me, and her crooked smile, which I’d first noticed in the brothel, melted me.
BEAST: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Page 33
