Surprise Baby, Second Chance

by Therese Beharrie

  ‘The line. For bigger women.’ She went to the couch with her coffee and her toast.

  He stacked his own plate with toast and bacon, and then went to sit opposite her. ‘Why now?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Rosa.’

  She looked at him. ‘It’s not an easy reason.’

  His stomach clenched. ‘Tell me.’

  ‘I don’t think—’

  ‘Rosa,’ he said again. He injected as much patience as he could into his tone, and unspoken words passed between them.

  Tell me.

  You won’t like it.

  Tell me anyway.

  ‘I guess... Well, at first it was practical. And the reasons that had kept me from doing it were no longer much of an issue. Being a prominent lawyer’s wife had done wonders for my own designs. And the people who wore them because of your mother.’ She gave him a smile that was marked by sadness. ‘Anyway, it seemed like the right time to do it.’

  ‘At first,’ he said quietly. ‘You said at first.’

  ‘And you would pick up on that, wouldn’t you?’ she asked in the same tone. But she nodded. ‘It also...made me feel close to you.’

  Surprise and emotion punched his heart. He nodded. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay,’ she repeated, though it wasn’t a question. And that was the last thing either of them said for a while.

  They started eating in silence and by the time they’d finished their meal he realised it was his turn. He debated what would be the best way to tell her. Began speaking before he’d fully decided.

  ‘The expansion,’ he said, setting down his plate. ‘It’s a firm in Cape Town.’

  ‘Cape Town?’

  He nodded. ‘Frank’s been nagging me for a while. It seemed like the right time.’

  They’d both used that phrase to explain what they’d been doing while they’d been away from one another. And now that Aaron had said it he realised that the ‘right time’ merely meant that they’d needed to occupy their time. With things that felt like work but reminded them of each other.

  ‘In hindsight, maybe going for a run wasn’t such a good idea,’ Rosa said suddenly. He turned in time to see her set down her empty cup and plate and push back her hair. Her face was a bit pale and when she looked at him her eyes were dim.

  ‘You’re not feeling well?’

  ‘I feel...off.’ She shifted to the front of her seat. ‘Though that could be because I went for a jog. It’s...been a while.’ She gave him a weak smile.

  ‘You should rest.’

  ‘Maybe,’ she replied with a frown. And then she stood and when he saw that she wasn’t entirely steady he moved beside her and told her to lean on him.

  ‘This is probably an overreaction.’ He grunted in response. ‘I’m fine, really.’

  He looked over at her as he led her to the bed. ‘You’re tired.’

  ‘So are you.’

  He grunted again.

  ‘We’re not letting each other sleep very well, are we?’

  ‘You’re going to sleep now.’

  ‘That sounds like a threat.’

  ‘It is.’ But he smiled at her and said softly, ‘Get some sleep.’

  ‘Okay.’

  He watched as she settled down. Felt an ache in his heart that he’d ignored for months but couldn’t any more. He didn’t know how long he sat at the edge of the bed, making sure she was okay. But when he shifted to leave he felt a hand on his forearm.

  Her eyes were still closed when he looked back, but her grip on his arm was firm. And after a short moment of deliberation he let himself relax beside her.

  A mistake, he knew instantly. There were boundaries, as she’d said, and he wanted now, more than ever, to keep those boundaries. He understood them. Because they didn’t know where they stood with one another. He didn’t know.

  And, he considered as he held his breath as Rosa snuggled back against him, he didn’t think she did either.

  What he needed to do was get up and go downstairs. He needed to put distance between them. So that when, the next day, they left and went back to the separate lives they’d forged for themselves it wouldn’t hurt as much.

  And he thought it might not. Now that he knew the circumstances of why she’d left, he realised that it had less to do with him and more to do with her. Logically. Except it still felt as if it was to do with him. Just like he’d thought it was for every moment of those last four months.

  Since he couldn’t stop himself from feeling it, he figured there must be some truth in it, regardless of what she said. And, honestly, he couldn’t blame her.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  WHEN ROSA WOKE it wasn’t entirely dark, but it wasn’t light either. She took some time to realise that she’d slept most of the day away, and it was now dusk.

  But it seemed the sleep had done its work. The fatigue she’d felt earlier had lifted somewhat and she didn’t feel as listless. It wasn’t a surprise that she’d felt that way. She had stepped into the rain like a fool—and she swore she’d feel the effects of that soon—and she hadn’t slept well over the last two nights.

  She should thank Aaron for forcing her to sleep, she thought, and then started when there was a movement next to her.

  Her breath whooshed from her lungs. It was Aaron. Aaron was sleeping beside her. She searched her mind for any memory of how that had come to be, and nearly groaned when she remembered grabbing his arm as she’d fallen asleep.

  It had been a reflex, and she hadn’t meant much by it. No, she thought with a silent groan. That was a lie. Her sleepy self had just had the courage to do what she couldn’t when she was awake.

  Cling to him. Ask him not to leave her.

  It was ridiculous, she told herself as she shifted so that she could see him better. She’d left him. And for good reasons too. Though, for the life of her, at that moment Rosa couldn’t remember one of those reasons.

  Her hand had lifted without her noticing it and now her fingers were tracing his forehead, down the side of his cheek. Her thumb brushed over his lips and her heart thudded at the memories of what those lips had done to her.

  Moreover, it craved the healing those lips had done. How they’d kissed away her tears when her mother had died. How they’d comforted her as he’d kissed her temple at her mother’s funeral.

  She’d got through so much because he’d been there for her. Those lips, kissing, comforting, yes, but because of him. Because of his presence. Because of his steadfastness.

  She blinked at the tears that burned in her eyes and her hand lowered. Over the curve of his Adam’s apple, into the cleft at the base of his neck. Her fingers fluttered over the collarbone on each side, before resting between them. He wore another shirt, though this one was flannel, the kind she knew he wore on casual occasions.

  The top buttons were open and she saw her fingers shake more as they scooped down to the edge of the skin that those buttons revealed. It was just enough for her to see the slope between his pecs, and she remembered all the times she’d rested her head there, listening to his heart, being calmed by it.

  Without thinking about it, she undid another button and was about to slide her hand in, so that she could feel his heart again—so that she could have that calmness again—when his fingers closed over hers.

  She sucked in her breath, felt her skin flush with the embarrassment of being caught caressing the man she’d left while he was sleeping.

  ‘What are you doing?’ His voice was husky, sexy, sending a shiver down her spine.

  ‘Nothing,’ she replied, breathier than she wanted.

  ‘It didn’t feel like nothing.’ His eyes opened and she nearly gasped at the need she saw there. At that intense look in his eyes that had always meant one thing.

  Resist.

  But she could feel herse
lf falling.

  ‘It...wasn’t nothing,’ she said helplessly. She tugged at the hand he held in his grip, but he wouldn’t let go.

  ‘What was it?’

  ‘Memories,’ she whispered, giving up now. She flattened her hand under his, let her fingers spread across his chest.

  ‘Of...us?’

  ‘Of you. And how often you’ve made me feel...better than I should.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Always.’

  ‘That can’t be true.’

  ‘It is.’ She took a breath and shifted up so that their eyes were in line with one another’s. ‘You know now that I didn’t leave because of you.’

  His eyes darkened and his other arm went around her waist, pressing her closer to him. It was seduction, though she didn’t understand how it could be.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Aaron—’

  ‘Rosa.’ His expression was serious and she stopped herself from interrupting him, knowing that he needed to speak. ‘You left because there was something about me that you didn’t want.’

  ‘I left because I didn’t want you to see how broken I was,’ she corrected him softly, and used her free hand to press against his cheek. ‘I didn’t want you to be me and I didn’t want me to be—’

  ‘Your mother.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You didn’t have to leave,’ he said after a moment.

  ‘I know. And if I’d told you whatever I was feeling you would have told me that too. But I know you. And I know that you’re...committed to making things better for other people.’

  ‘I’m committed to you,’ he replied simply. ‘You’re my wife.’

  ‘And that’s why I had to leave. I didn’t want you to have to...to have to be responsible for me too. To take care of me when you shouldn’t have to.’

  ‘That’s what you thought?’ He pushed himself up against the pillows. ‘You thought that this—us—would somehow end up being like the relationship between me and my mother?’

  ‘I didn’t at the time,’ she admitted softly. ‘Up until last night, I don’t think I did. I thought I was doing it because I was saving you from something. Protecting you from being me in the relationship I had with my mother. But I see now that part of it was just trying to keep you from...from being you.’

  His face tightened and a pain she didn’t understand shone in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Why are you apologising?’ she demanded, unsteady from the emotion.

  ‘I’ve made you cry.’ His hand lifted to brush the tears from her cheeks.

  She blew out a breath. ‘That wasn’t you.’

  ‘Hard to convince me of that when you’re crying in my arms while talking to me.’ He smiled, but it wasn’t the easy smile he usually gave her. And it...bothered her.

  ‘Aaron, it’s never you.’ She moved again, and this time she propped her head on his chest, on her hands, and looked him in the eye. ‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’

  He nodded, though she didn’t think he believed her. She was about to open her mouth to try and make him understand again when he looked beyond her and a more genuine smile claimed his lips.

  ‘We might just have weathered a bad storm on Mariner’s Island, but that won’t keep the locals from celebrating.’

  She followed his gaze and sat up with a gasp when she saw the fireworks go off on the beach. Though it was some distance away, they could see it clearly and the silence as they watched made the tension following their conversation settle.

  She leaned back against him and sighed with pleasure at the simplicity of the moment. Somewhere in her mind she thought that perhaps she hadn’t only been tracing the shape of his face, letting the memories wash over her when he’d been sleeping. No, now she thought that she’d been memorising it. Just like she was memorising that very moment so she could go back to it some day.

  And with that thought something loosened inside her and, though her mind told her it was a terrible decision, she ignored it. Much like she ignored every warning it would give her when she was about to do something rash. When she was about to do something possibly stupid.

  ‘You never needed an excuse, you know,’ she said, turning to him and moving until she was sitting on her knees facing him.

  ‘For what?’ he asked carefully.

  ‘To kiss me.’

  His eyes went hot. Seduction, she thought again. ‘You mean I don’t have to dance with you to kiss you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Okay.’ But he didn’t move.

  She cleared her throat. ‘That was an invitation.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘So...?’

  He shook his head. ‘You don’t need an excuse either. If you want me to kiss you, you’re going to have to do it yourself.’

  She understood why he wanted that from her. He wanted her to make the decision. He wanted her to cross the line. Which was fair, she considered. He’d kissed her the first time, when they’d been dancing. And she’d been the one who had put the line there in the first place.

  With an exaggerated sigh, she leaned forward and slid a hand behind his head. ‘Just like our first kiss,’ she whispered as she brought her lips closer to his. ‘Seems like I have to do everything myself.’

  And then they were kissing—falling—and it didn’t matter who’d started it, only that they had.

  * * *

  He hated himself for what he was about to do. Hated it because he’d slept on a couch the night before to prevent her from doing it. But he didn’t have a choice. And though the voice in his head told him that that was a lie—that it was an excuse and he did have a choice—he was going to do it anyway.

  With one last look at Rosa sleeping naked beside him—accepting the longing, the guilt—Aaron got up and made a few calls. Then he packed everything he’d brought with him and forced himself to leave the house without saying goodbye to her.

  She’d understand, he told himself as he got into his car and drove away from the house—from his wife. She’d understand that he couldn’t deal with what had just happened between them. What he saw now had been inevitable from the moment he’d seen her—in that gold dress, in her sexy shapewear, in his shirt, her jeans, that running gear.

  From their kiss.

  But she’d understand that he couldn’t deal with the intimacy, the passion, the love that had been clear in what they’d just done. That he didn’t want any of it to be spoilt by a discussion of what would happen next.

  So he’d left.

  It was Monday morning—early, yes, but the airport would be open—so he could leave. He’d called his plane and, though it would take some time for it to get there, he’d rather wait at the airport than at the house. With the prospect of Rosa waking up. Realising what was happening. The inevitable confrontation. The inevitable conversation...

  He was trying to avoid all that. For both of them. He would be saving them both from the pain, the heartache.

  So why did he still hate himself for doing it?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  IT HAD BEEN a month since Aaron had left her alone in that bed. A month since they’d made love. A month since she’d woken up to find herself naked and alone.

  The last thing Rosa wanted was to be in Aaron’s office now, especially thinking of that weekend. It made the fact that he’d left her this time worse than when she’d left him.

  At least that was what she told herself.

  But she had to think of it in that way. In any way that would make her feel better about the turn her life had taken in the last month. If she’d had a choice, she’d still be in Cape Town. Safe, away from Aaron. She’d still be working on her line. On her life.

  Instead, she was in Johannesburg, in her husband’s office—the husband who’d left her alone and naked after they’
d made love—waiting for him so that she could tell him her news and return to that life she’d created for herself in Cape Town.

  Her stomach tumbled when she thought that that might not happen after she told Aaron her news.

  The door opened, distracting her as Aaron entered the room. Just as handsome as ever, she thought. More so when he was surprised. She almost smiled at his widened eyes. At the way he tensed.

  Good.

  And then her stomach heaved in a way that had nothing to do with nerves, and she gritted her teeth. She would do this without throwing up. She couldn’t give him that power too.

  ‘Rosa,’ he said in a calm tone, but she heard the subtle quaking. ‘What are you doing here?’

  Fairly certain the contents of her stomach were back where they belonged, she replied, ‘I’ve come to see you, darling husband.’ She stood up—dramatic flair had always made her feel more confident. ‘At least that was what I told your secretary. Turns out he still believes we’re a married couple.’

  ‘Of course he still believes it,’ he said in a low voice, closing the door behind him. He set his briefcase on the chair next to the door and walked directly to his bar. ‘That’s what we are.’

  ‘Could have fooled me,’ she said through her teeth. ‘I didn’t realise married couples left each other naked after a passionate night of reconciliation without so much as a word.’

  His skin darkened slightly. ‘Don’t.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘You’re not as innocent as you’re making it seem.’

  He took a healthy sip of the alcohol. Jealousy stirred inside her. She would have liked to have something to dull her nerves before she told him. Hell, she would have liked to dull everything inside her. Except, in her current state, she couldn’t.

  Which brought her back to the real reason she was there.

  ‘Fortunately, I’m not here to discuss the tit-for-tat turn our marriage has taken,’ she said swiftly. She walked around the desk, stood closer to the door. Closer to escape when she needed it.

  ‘Then why are you here?’

  ‘Because it seems our—’ she swallowed and told herself it would be best just to get it out ‘—because our night together has led to a...consequence.’