Witch Kissed (Old Sarum Witch Cozy Mystery Series, #1)

by K. E. O'Connor

  “So glad you could join us.” Aunt Isadore bustled through the door, her arms full of herbs. She was short, plump and cheerful, her dark eyes always gleaming with pleasure and her brown hair a curly mess that bounced around her head. She dropped the herbs onto the worktop and hugged Bryony and Ivy.

  “As if we’d turn down the offer of a free meal,” said Ivy as she squirmed out of her aunt’s embrace.

  Aunt Isadore tweaked a strand of Ivy’s dark hair. “You would be a fool if you turned down your mother’s cooking.”

  “I made the dessert,” said Aunt Odessa. “Hand-picked apples in that pie.”

  “Where did you get the apples from?” asked Aunt Isadore.

  “Well, I did have to climb over a particularly large fence to get them. The owner of the tree only shouted at me twice before I was finished. No harm done. There were plenty left.”

  “So we’re eating stolen apples for dessert,” said Ivy with a grin. “Sounds delicious.”

  They all settled around the table, Bryony and Ivy on opposite sides, their mother sitting at the head. Spike shoved underneath the table, his head on Ivy’s lap, and Sweetie settled on a perch in the corner of the kitchen, out of reach of the cats.

  Adeline served the pumpkin soup from a large bright orange pot. “How was the store today, girls?” She looked from Ivy to Bryony as she passed them a bowl of soup each.

  “Backache, fake headaches, and a witch with bad breath,” said Ivy.

  “That’s not entirely true.” Bryony set her bowl down. “We were working on a longer lasting treatment for backache before we left this evening.”

  “What’s this about bad breath?” asked Aunt Isadore.

  “It’s not bad breath,” said Bryony. “We had Agatha Graytooth in this morning. She thinks she’s been cursed with a kissing curse. Every time she kisses a man they go off her.”

  “Which is why I think it’s bad breath.” Ivy scooped up some soup.

  Aunt Lilith smiled at Ivy as she passed the bread around the table. “Did you take the opportunity to kiss this Agatha yourself? Perhaps you would have seen first-hand if it was a case of halitosis.”

  Ivy gave a shudder. “Agatha Graytooth is not my type.”

  “A kissing curse,” said Adeline. “How interesting. It’s been a few years since I’ve heard of one of those being used. They were quite the rage when I was at witch school; girls hexing other girls because they’d kissed the wrong boy. Were you able to detect the curse on Agatha?”

  “There was nothing there,” said Ivy. “Which is why I think it isn’t a curse.”

  “Curses are tricky,” said Aunt Lilith. “And easy to conceal. Particularly if the cursed individual has ingested something with a curse on it rather than wearing the curse on a piece of clothing or jewelry.”

  “I gave her some herbs to try,” said Bryony. “I don’t think it’s a curse either. More likely to be a side-effect of a spell Agatha used herself. But maybe I should take her concerns more seriously.”

  “Easier if this Agatha were to stop kissing men,” said Aunt Lilith. “They are nothing but trouble anyway.”

  “Couldn’t agree more.” Ivy stuffed her mouth full of bread.

  “Have you seen anything of that lovely Gabriel recently?” Adeline smiled at Bryony. “He seems such a nice young man.”

  “He’s a failed archangel,” said Ivy. “He can’t be all that lovely. He wouldn’t have been kicked out of the angel army if he was any good at his job.”

  “He wasn’t kicked out, he left,” muttered Bryony. “There’s a difference.”

  “Well, even so, have you seen him?” asked Adeline.

  “He came by the store today.” A smile crossed Bryony’s face. “He was asking about illegal charms that might have been brought into the store.”

  “He doesn’t think you’re selling illegal goods?” asked Aunt Lilith sharply. “I won’t have a failed angel pinning crimes on my nieces.”

  “No, nothing like that,” said Bryony swiftly, knowing how quick Aunt Lilith was to exact vengeance when she thought a wrong had been done to the family. “He wanted to make sure no one had been trying to sell us illegal goods without us realizing.”

  “Gabriel is a good man,” said Aunt Odessa.

  “Yes, but he’s still a man,” said Ivy. “That makes it rather tricky don’t you think?”

  Adeline reached over and patted both of the girls’ hands. “This curse won’t last forever.”

  “Yes, it’s only been five hundred years,” said Aunt Lilith.

  “That we know of,” said Aunt Odessa.

  “I still believe we will break it,” said Adeline. “Even I’m hopeful of finding true love one day.”

  Bryony smiled at her mom. She’d been honest with her and Ivy about their fathers and the curse ever since they were children. Adeline had chosen men who were strong, capable magic users; men who didn’t want to get involved and have a family of their own, but were willing to do what was required to ensure Adeline became pregnant with healthy children.

  It had seemed cold to her, the first time Bryony found out how she’d been conceived. But it was the only way Adeline could have a family of her own, not fall in love, and ensure her sisters did not meet a grisly end. The Thornheart curse flowed through the entire female line. As a result, none of them had married, and they all did their best to keep their distance from men they were fond of.

  “Do the girls know about our plans for the Old Sarum pilgrimage?” asked Aunt Isadore. “We will make a real fun event of it. There’s supposed to be a bigger than normal crowd this year. It’s some important anniversary of the pilgrimage.”

  “It will be four hundred years since the red bloods decided to do this ridiculous pilgrimage,” said Aunt Lilith with a sigh. “Four hundred years of traipsing miles to come and look at some worn out stones and make believe they are communing with magic.”

  “If only they knew,” said Aunt Isadore with a giggle. “If they opened their eyes and had a look around, they would find there’s a lot of magic to be had here.”

  “Fortunately they can never come across into Old Sarum and discover it for themselves,” said Adeline. “I wouldn’t be able to handle having red bloods wandering around the streets getting in the way.” Old Sarum was cloaked from humans by magic. If anyone found their way in through the magic, and every hundred years or so it did happen, they lost their memory and found themselves several miles away, wondering what on earth happened to them. Old Sarum was not for humans. It was too dangerous.

  “Yes, we’ve heard about the plans, and we’ll both be coming.” Bryony raised her eyebrows at Ivy, warning her to keep her mouth shut. “We’re looking forward to it. Will Oriel and Philomena be coming?” She looked over at Aunt Odessa.

  “No, my girls are otherwise occupied. Maybe next year,” said Aunt Odessa.

  “Before you ask, Raven, Jinx, and Seren send their apologies. But they think these things are a waste of time,” said Aunt Lilith.

  “Only because you tell them they are,” said Adeline. “It's been almost a year since any of your girls have been for a visit.”

  “They are busy defending the Hell Gate,” said Aunt Lilith. “You don't get paid holiday when there are demon butts to shoot back to Hell.”

  There were a few seconds of silence as everyone looked at Aunt Isadore who fussed with Fluffy's long black fur who was perched on her lap. She didn’t have any children of her own, although still believed one day she would. Magic was powerful, but even it had its limits.

  “We can make some food and sit by the boundary and watch the procession,” said Aunt Odessa. “We’ll be entertained for hours.”

  “I have a few new spells I’d like to try out,” said Aunt Lilith. “The red bloods will be perfect targets.”

  “I was thinking that too.” Ivy shared an evil grin with her aunt. They were both so similar in looks and magical preferences that Ivy could have passed for Lilith’s daughter.

  “Less of the evil tho
ughts you two,” said Adeline. “We will all watch, but we won’t be mean to the poor humans. They do their best. They just don’t know what they’re missing out on by not having magic of their own.”

  “I was thinking we could scatter them with happy magic,” said Bryony. “Especially if they’ve been traipsing through lots of mud and rain. By the time they get here they’ll be tired. A little magic boost could be just what they need.”

  Adeline cleared the empty soup dishes and served the stew and dumplings. “That’s a lovely thought, my dear. But best we don’t expose any of them to magic. They are so temperamental when it comes to the after effects of spells. Do you remember that poor chap who stumbled through a gap in the magic around the village? He was so befuddled by the spells he encountered, his hair turned white and he started speaking Latin. Even when we got him back to the other side of the border, his English was still broken. I often wonder what happened to him.”

  “That will teach him not to enter Old Sarum uninvited,” said Aunt Lilith. “He was fortunate not to have been hexed or cursed.”

  “This kissing curse you mentioned,” said Aunt Odessa to Bryony as she cut into a dumpling. “Any idea who might be into that particular magic?”

  “It could be Mad Mimi.” Aunt Lilith looked around the table. “I heard she’s been stirring from her castle. Whenever she does that, bad magic is never far behind.”

  Bryony cringed at the thought of Mad Mimi causing problems. She was a crazed immortal creature who lived in the nearby Old Sarum castle ruins. Not much was known about her, other than the fact her mind was a tangled mess and she was a fervent user of unstable magic. It was rumored that was the reason Mad Mimi's mind had left her. Too much dark magic can send a spell caster over the edge.

  “Why would Mad Mimi want anything to do with Agatha Graytooth?” asked Ivy.

  “It might not be personal,” said Aunt Lilith. “Mad Mimi only has to see you to hate you. Perhaps Agatha was unfortunate enough to stumble into her path when she was searching for food and Mad Mimi decided to teach her a lesson.”

  “It’s a good lesson,” said Ivy. “All Agatha wants is to find her dream man and settle down.”

  “Yes, the perfect punishment,” said Aunt Lilith. “Mad Mimi has a way of figuring out people’s weaknesses and using it against them.”

  “Who’s going to speak to Mad Mimi and ask her if she decided to hex this poor witch?” asked Aunt Odessa.

  “I’ll go and see her,” said Ivy. “She doesn’t scare me.”

  “Of course she does,” said Bryony. “And so she should. If you keep using dark magic, you will end up just like her; all mean and twisted.”

  Ivy glowered at her sister. “I’m nothing like Mad Mimi. And I won’t end up like her.”

  “Now girls, there’s no need to bicker,” said Adeline. “No one is going to speak to Mad Mimi. I’m sure she wouldn’t waste her considerable talents on cursing a simple witch. Does anyone want more stew?”

  There were several acknowledged mumbles of yes please as Adeline served the food.

  “You girls stick to your love potions and safe spells,” said Aunt Isadore. “No harm will come from that if you do. You’re making people happy and assisting them in finding their true love. There’s nothing better than that.”

  “Yes, love is a wonderful thing if you can get it,” said Aunt Lilith darkly. “I must figure out how to find it myself at some point.”

  The table fell silent as they ate their food and dwelled on the unfortunate curse that enveloped their lives.

  As Bryony finished her stew, her thoughts kept returning to Agatha and her kissing curse. Perhaps she’d been too quick to write off her problem as the side effects of a spell. Something more serious could be happening to Agatha, and she needed to find out more and make sure she wasn’t ignoring a witch in need.

  Chapter 5

  “Here you are, Lacie. There’s a month’s worth of dried ragwort in this package, along with the bundles of charmed lavender, and six vials of the crab apple essence you requested.” Bryony tied the brown package with a neat string bow before handing it to her customer.

  Lacie Paige gave Bryony a shy smile. “I’ve been working on a potion to help my herb garden. For some reason, all the vervain has failed to mature. I was hoping for a bumper crop this year, given the number of vampire sightings reported over the last few months. I know people will be queuing up to buy potted vervain for their windowsills. This potion will give the plants the power they need to be mature enough to sell in time.”

  “Perhaps the vampires have been meddling in your herb garden.” Ivy climbed down from the ladder she was on, the heels of her black boots clicking as she hit the ground.

  Lacie’s round cheeks paled. “The vampires wouldn’t come into Old Sarum. They know they’re not welcome here.”

  “But if your vervain is as good as you say it is, they might decide to make an exception and pay you a special visit.” Ivy’s grin was shark-like.

  “I’m sure vampires have not come to the village.” Bryony frowned at her sister. “And if they do, you’re in the perfect position to remain safe. You have a garden full of vervain! They are not likely to wander through that any time soon. And if they did, they would fry.”

  Lacie clutched the brown parcel tightly to her chest. “Even so, Ivy could be right. I’ll make sure to finish my work outside before dusk, just in case any of them come to cause trouble with my beautiful herbs. I hate to think of those cold-blooded creatures prowling around the garden, poisoning the roots of my babies.”

  “May the Goddess make your herbs prosper.” Bryony rounded the counter and gently steered Lacie to the door, concerned that she might collapse with worry if she stayed in the store and listened to Ivy any longer.

  “Thank you, and the same to you, and your store.” As Lacie left, her gaze shot from side to side, as if expecting to see a gang of petulant vampires waiting to seek vengeance because of her garden full of vampire repelling herbs.

  “You really are terrible.” Bryony shut the door and turned towards Ivy. “Lacie is such a sweet herbalist and you always tease her when she comes in here.”

  “She’s too soft,” said Ivy. “It makes her an easy target. If she stood up to me I might respect her. But I only have to say the word vampire or troll within her earshot and she’s trembling in the corner like a frightened toad.”

  “If you scare her too much we will lose a valuable customer.” Bryony returned to the counter, adjusted some of the flowers in the two new bouquets that had arrived for her this morning, and began work on the next order.

  “She’d never stop shopping here; we’re the best at what we do.”

  “There are other magic stores in Old Sarum. And Lacie could decide to start her own store and put us out of business,” said Bryony. “She’s talented enough with the herbs. Her gardens are like some magically scented wonderland.”

  “But not with the magic.” Ivy waved her hands in the air and a shower of red sparks shot from her fingertips. “And that’s what people care about the most. Without the magic and the herbs combined, nothing is powerful.”

  The store door opened and Kristoff Dash strolled through, dressed in his usual dark suit trousers and pristine white shirt, the collar undone. His shoulder length dark hair was pushed off his face, revealing a strong stubbled jawline.

  “We’re about to close,” said Ivy as soon as she spotted Kristoff.

  “You’ve only been open for two hours.” Kristoff grinned at Ivy, his six foot five frame towering over her. “Unless you want to close and allow me to take you for an early lunch.”

  “You could do that,” said Bryony with a bright smile. “I can handle the orders if you want to go out with Kristoff.”

  “I don’t eat lunch,” said Ivy.

  Bryony laughed. “Yes you do.”

  “We’re not going for an early lunch. Not ever.” Ivy folded her arms across her chest. “What do you want, Kristoff?”

  “I’m
running low on a few supplies,” said Kristoff. “Thought I’d come in and have a browse if that’s all right with you.”

  Ivy sighed and turned away from him. “Just don’t get in our way.”

  “I will be the soul of discretion,” said Kristoff. “You won’t even know I’m here.”

  “Doubtful,” muttered Ivy. “Your cologne is strong enough to make my eyes water.”

  Kristoff smiled at her again but she ignored him, stomped to the back of the store and began loudly shuffling glass vials around.

  “How’s business?” He addressed the question to Ivy’s back, but she didn’t answer.

  “We’re busy,” said Bryony, after a few seconds of awkward silence.

  “Always good to hear.” Kristoff extracted a packet of herbs from one of the shelves and inspected it.

  “And you?” asked Bryony.

  “My services are always in demand.” Kristoff ran a private security firm specializing in the protection of wealthy or important individuals in the magical community. He also offered secure services to store and protect valuable and rare magical items. And then there was his nightclub, the Demon's Den, which he ran for his own pleasure. As a half demon, with superior strength and speed, plus the handy ability to manipulate fire, Kristoff was well placed to offer these services. His client list was extensive, and they paid well for the work he did and the discretion he showed.

  “Stolen any rare objects recently?” asked Ivy.

  That was an element of Kristoff’s business he kept quiet. He ran a retrieval service for items that had supposedly been stolen or lost. Sometimes he retrieved them for his own personal collection. It was a business that stood on the grey side of legality and meant he came to blows with Gabriel and the Charm Police when he crossed the line too far.

  “My sweet Ivy, you make me sound like a common thief.” Kristoff placed several packets of herbs on the counter in front of Bryony.

  “My sister doesn’t think that,” said Bryony.

  “I like that she speaks her mind,” said Kristoff. “So many people get tongue tied around me. It can become quite wearisome. Honesty is a trait I admire.”