Dispatched Confessions (The Love is Murder Social Club Book 2)

by Talia Maxwell

  “No,” he shook his head. “I think we’d have defied the odds. I think we’d have figured it out…I was so…so…enamored with you…”

  “Enamored with me?” Holly repeated, a sly smile on her face. “No, you’re enamored with me now. There’s no way…”

  “You’re wrong. Stop the self-doubt.”

  “I don’t regret this path,” Holly said. The rain on the river created little circles expanding and drifting into each other. “I’m not going to be someone who says that I wish it had happened this way or that. No…it happened this way,” she answered. “This way. And that’s okay, too.”

  Behind them, Holly could hear her son playing a song on his phone and running in through his Bluetooth speaker. He held his phone up like John Cusak, mimicking a pop culture reference decades older than himself. Despite the rain, there were others on the small boardwalk that ran quickly into the gray. Holly leaned back to listen to the song; it had an introduction of piano and then a crooning female voice.

  She put up a hand to her mouth just as Joel grabbed it and put a hand on her waist, spinning her into a slow dance—the type perfected at junior high dances. Arms out, then around his neck, his hands on her waist, and they swayed and circled—as Karen Carpenter crooned in her unmistakable sultry drawl. He’d put on I Won’t Last a Day Without You, something so old-fashioned and beautiful and perfect.

  And over the song, which Alex kept positioning around them, she kept moving to avoid hearing only the lyrics and not Joel while he began to talk.

  “We belong together, Holly. I don’t care how I know it, but I know it. I know if I tell you today and you tell me to get lost, I will, but I’ll come back because you are not just my ideal,” he stole a look at Alex, who seemed invested in the job, but not the details, “lover,” Alex cringed and Joel was apologetic, “friend and partner… I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. I’ve screwed up twice….I never should have lost you the first time.”

  “Did you get him to do this?” Holly swayed.

  “Every time you walk away, I wish we were together again—”

  “Have you just been listening to 70s love songs?”

  “I gave him a station. Could have been the BeeGee’s. John Denver,” Joel dipped her. He held her a bit longer than she expected and she felt the strength in his arms, how well he had a grip on her and the moment. “The basic message is the same. I’m not going to say goodbye again. I can’t let you walk away. Give me a chance to show that I do know how to love you Holly. You and Alex.”

  “And we’re enough,” she said, daring, hoping.

  “Always,” he said with authority, his chin firm, flexing.

  “You know what I mean by that…”

  “No babies,” Joel said softly.

  “Come on,” Alex complained in the background. “I want a little brother or sister to corrupt.”

  Holly motioned for her son to move backward and out of earshot and he reluctantly agreed.

  “Thank you,” she said. “But I’ve been thinking…if you want a child…”

  “No, I would never ask you to change your opinion for me. You were adamant. I know I’m stepping into your life, Holly.”

  “I was angry and concerned. I was heated. I care about you…and caring about you means we can make a family of our own. However that looks.”

  “A dog!” Alex contributed.

  Holly attempted to glare at him, but Joel moved her face back to his. He kissed her.

  “Thank you,” she said again, tears starting to fill her eyes.

  “For what?” he asked.

  She smiled. “You stuck around. Just like I needed.” And then she leaned over kissed him again as the rain splashed down around them.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “He asked for Alex’s permission to take me on a date,” Holly said as she paraded in front of her full-length mirror examining the hemline on her little black dress and wondering if it was too revealing or not revealing enough. She snapped a photo and sent it to the group thread; Maeve read her the replies as she lounged on Holly’s bed, watching the getting-ready unfold.

  “That’s adorable,” Maeve confessed. She scrolled through the messages. “See? Everyone loves the dress. Except for Mel, but don’t listen to Mel. She just wants to be contrary.”

  “We’re doing this backward,” Holly said and rolled her eyes. She slipped on her black heels and walked back and forth across the room, acclimating her ankles and soles to the stress.

  “I seriously don’t know how you can do heels that high,” Maeve admired. Her friend was more of a jeans and hoody girl, although she cleaned up nicely.

  The doorbell rang and Holly ran her hands over her curves one more time and clapped her hands with excitement. She walked briskly toward the door, her shoes clapping on the wooden floors, announcing her arrival like a drumroll.

  Joel stood outside in a suit.

  She was instantly smitten and jittery.

  He’d shoved his hands in his pockets and he shrugged as she opened the door, clearly beaming—unable to stop herself from the full range of happiness she felt at seeing him, again, at her door, for her.

  “You ready?” he asked and pointed to the driveway.

  Maeve appeared behind them and handed Holly her clutch.

  “You the babysitter?” Joel joked with a kind smile.

  “We’re preferring the term temporary guardian,” Maeve replied and glanced in the direction where Alex was stationed in his room. “We’ve got the evening planned. Derek’s bringing dinner after his shift at the hospital and we’re basically watching an Alien marathon until we’re relieved from duty.”

  “So, cool,” Joel mumbled, doing some quick math, “that gives us about twelve hours…”

  “Why don’t you add in some hours for a nap? Just get her back by tomorrow.” Maeve winked and Holly frowned and tried to express displeasure at her friend’s overstep, but before she had time to reply, Joel grabbed her hand and they were off, together, down the steps and into the night.

  He took her to a small restaurant on Division. It was hidden between a tattoo parlor and a yoga studio, and she could smell the spices as they opened the door. The menu was Korean-fusion and they settled in with drinks and ordered beef bulgogi to share—and Holly wondered when it was she’d grown-up.

  “I never thought I’d have to become an adult so fast,” she admitted over dinner. “I wasn’t grown yet and I this baby…and you don’t get time to understand yourself at all before you’re raising a child.”

  “I see it all the time,” Joel said. “But when do we know ourselves?”

  “I’m hoping for in my 40s,” Holly laughed.

  “We can just start now,” he replied. Joel took a bite of the beef and mixed it with the rice and she watched him, really watched him—the blue of his eyes flashing, his jaw moving, the taut muscles of his jawline were even attractive to her.

  Nothing could be perfect. But this had to be close.

  She stopped. Smiled.

  “Yes, we can.”

  The hotel had a hot tub on the patio and it overlooked the city.

  She had known he may bring her back in the morning, as he and Maeve had joked, but she hadn’t known that this was dessert.

  They’d stood outside, near the valet, and he held up a credit card key. He’d already checked-in.

  “Is this like you asking me up to the overnight-suite?” Holly laughed and tilted her head back, her teeth shining. And he grabbed her waist and pulled her close and it didn’t matter that people walked by them on the sidewalk; the newness of their love was unstoppable.

  He kissed her.

  There with the bellhop ten feet away and as a man and woman separated their handholding to walk around the two of them.

  When he kissed her, she knew what she wanted.

  “It’s a fantasy suite,” he admitted in her ear, “but it’s just you, Holly.” He looked down at her and nodded, slowly. “It’s just been you for a long time.
”

  She took his hand and led them inside, head held high as they walked by the boys in their twenties, no doubt admiring the scene—the curvy woman and her tall, lean man—his hand on her ass briefly as they waited for the elevator.

  She saw them as the world saw them: uninhibited, unafraid, unbridled and possibly unhinged. It was the rash and sudden passion of two people who’d waited for this moment again. It wouldn’t be the ravishing and heart-pounding exploration of sheer bliss; this time they would be making love with intention.

  When they shut the door behind them, Holly’s dress slipped off before he even turned around.

  She wanted to consent in a giant yes.

  She stood in her thong, uncomfortable but fucking sexy, and her black bra and heels, and she kicked off her dress into the corner. He went mushy at the sight of her as he mechanically removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, and slipped out of his suit jacket.

  He walked up to her.

  “Your job is going to be okay?” she asked, helping him out of his pants.

  “Yeah,” he said. “The whole thing fell back on May.”

  “I’m sorry for—”

  “Nope,” he put a finger up and stopped her. “Not her, not me, not anyone…no more apologies. Not tonight.”

  Holly nodded.

  “I thought…” she paused and swallowed. “I really thought when I kicked you out that I’d kicked you out forever…”

  They were naked and unashamed.

  She was naked and hot for him—all she knew, all she could understand, was that the sexiest man she’d ever known wanted her, too. He’d brought her there, to the room. Maeve planned to be at her house all night. She’d known and she’d hoped, but there he was—his body before hers and she put her hands on his shoulders and traced his arms down to his fingers.

  Joel shook his head. He kissed the top of her head and then moved down. He kissed the top of her ears, her neck, her shoulder, her breast.

  Still in her heels, she led him to the bed. He’d magically procured a condom and as she pushed him down, he slipped it on and she climbed on top, sliding down on to him with the ease of someone who’d been wet and waiting.

  She’d been ready since dessert at the restaurant.

  He put his hands on her hips. He moved her. She moved with him. It wasn’t wild, it wasn’t chaos, it was togetherness. It was a union. He kept them fitted together.

  Holly stretched her arms to the sky and lifted her body and tightened her muscles and she’d never felt so sexy.

  That was what it was. Joel and his attractiveness and the way he looked at her because he didn’t look through her, he didn’t see her for what she saw in him—he really seemed to care for her.

  “How does that feel?” he whispered, rotating, moving, eager.

  “Just like that,” she directed. Her eyes widened. “Just like that.”

  When the orgasm swelled from deep within her, pouring outward from all sides, she couldn’t contain the burst and gasp of an, “Oh God, Joel. Fuck!” and she collapsed on top of him heaving, tingly, and she was certain something from deep inside her had unearthed and torn loose from her body. She didn’t have the words to describe the pleasure he’d brought to her.

  They were wet and sweaty and laughing and fucking, and he kissed her nipples, tugging them loosely in his mouth until they peaked and he turned her around on the bed and cupped her breasts and entered her from behind; the sound of their bodies meeting and separating, coming together, and then coming apart in bursts of joy with uninhibited passion, was the sex Holly’d dreamed of.

  He kept asking her what she wanted. He kept going until they were both happy and spent.

  Her dream man.

  Sexy and kind.

  Holly was tender in places she didn’t know existed. They rolled apart.

  Their chests moved up and down with deep breathing.

  “God, I love your body,” he said. “You are a goddess.”

  Holly thought of the now—she thought of living in the moment and not letting anything take her joy away. Okay, I am a goddess.

  She sat up, her breasts swinging down, the rolls of her stomach visible, the cellulite on her thigh pushed against the bed. And she had freckles on her thigh and dotted across her stomach and she was fucking beautiful. And she was glowing. She glistened. She was in love.

  “I take that back,” Joel said and she tilted her head, waiting. “I don’t just love your body…” he said, whispering, confessing. “I love you. And I think I’m going to for the rest of my life. The timing is right, Holly. The universe isn’t going to let us walk away.”

  Holly ‘s world paused. She imagined a world with Joel by her side and she imagined a world without him. She didn’t need time. She knew. He was right. There was no one in the world she’d ever find who knew her and loved her the way Joel did.

  “And I think, I love you, too” she whispered.

  Joel, naked, still recovering from sex, kissed her. Their naked bodies melded together again and they fell back on to the bed and kissed. And kissed.

  When Holly’s brain allowed her to wander away from the exhilaration of the moment, she realized she’d never been kissed like this—never been so openly loved and worshipped. His hands traveled from her thigh to her shoulder and down until she developed goosebumps, and they explored each other with their tongues and fingers and then he carried her naked to the hot tub and presented her a tray of fresh fruit and champagne.

  It had been waiting when they arrived, but they’d wasted no time making love and so the treat sat, abandoned, waiting. Now they indulged; feeding each other bits of apple, kissing some more, getting handsy as the bubbles rose.

  Holly piled up her hair on her head and examined Joel.

  “I don’t want a fling,” she said suddenly as if she hadn’t thought of it before.

  Joel laughed.

  “Marry me,” he replied when he was done. He looked at her, fully.

  And Holly laughed. “No,” she replied. “Please.”

  Joel remained stone-faced. “I’m serious. I’m asking you to marry me, naked in this hot tub, because I’m never going to change my mind and if you say no now, then we’re wasting time.”

  “But…”

  “No,” Joel interrupted with a smile. He handed her the champagne flute. And he gingerly stepped out of the hot tub and on to the deck, cold, clearly, but still doing just fine for himself. She looked at him and realized that part of her laughter and her no was the thought that guys like Joel didn’t date girls like her.

  And she knew that was a lie.

  A lie she kept telling herself.

  Because there he was…and he was hers.

  If growing older was knowing yourself, then she knew she had to stop telling herself lies.

  Joel got down on one knee and put his hand on his heart.

  “I first knew I wanted to be with Holly Bloom when I listened to her sing in high school. And even though after graduation, we lost touch, I didn’t let go of the idea that the spitfire who saw right through me would walk back into my life. And maybe these past few weeks have contained a year’s worth of experiences, but I’m here, Holly. I’ve been here for seventeen years, hoping that I’d find my way back to you.”

  “Okay,” Holly said when she sensed a lull in the speech. She emerged from the water and hugged them, dripping on to the patio, freezing. “I love you.”

  “Marry me,” he said again.

  “I can’t without my son’s blessing and you know that,” she laughed, but she was serious and besides, he didn’t have a ring, it was a spontaneous, post-coital burst of love and it would pass. “Come on, let’s shower, and then watch television and see if there’s funny soft-core porn.”

  And with that, Holly was shivering too much to stay outside, so they shuffled back inside and Holly went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, stepping inside the warm water. Joel joined her.

  “What if he already gave his blessing?” Joel said as
he reached behind her and grabbed the shampoo, squirting some on to his hand and rubbing it on to her hair. He rinsed the shampoo out.

  “What?” Holly asked, letting the water pour over her body.

  “What if I already asked Alex for his blessing?”

  “For the date?”

  “To marry you,” he said and Holly smiled. She smiled until she realized he was serious. And from behind his back, he pulled out a small gold band.

  Water dripped in her eyes, washing away the signs of her tears, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the water pelt away at her back.

  “You’re crazy,” she said and without saying anything else, she lifted her left hand and he slipped the band on gently, the water making it more difficult. “You’re crazy,” she said again and looked at the ring on her finger.

  “I’m not though,” Joel said with sincere eagerness. “We’d be dumb at eighteen pretending that we knew what the world was like and we could commit to battling it out together for the rest of our lives. But I’m not a kid anymore. I know what the world looks like, and I know that whatever I’m facing ahead of me, I want you there. I’m not willing to wait. That’s a regret I won’t face. I’m not taking chances, Holly, I’m going into this wrapped up with so much reality…you are my dream.”

  He kissed her. She let him lift her up slightly in the shower, her legs kicking out behind her as she felt how easily he swung her around. She kissed his cheek and his neck and his shoulder and his chest and his stomach and then back up, finding his lips and holding his face, the hotel water never growing cold, never changing pressure, remaining now like warm rain upon their bodies.

  “Did you really ask him?” she asked with a sudden breath. Her brow furrowed and she moved out of the water, shifting him forward in the shower. And she watched as Joel nodded and expressed amused guilt.

  “I did. Because I know,” he said again and he reached for her hands. “Marry me, Holly Bloom. Let’s spend the rest of our lives finding the laughter in everything, embracing the chaos, following our hearts. You’re fearless, baby, and I want to adventure with you. I love you and I’ve always loved you, and…”