by Jerry Cole
“No, you misunderstood me,” Taylor said. He looked at Jason then away from him. “I really — I really want to fuck you.”
Relief washed over Jason. It was quickly replaced by a giddy sense of anticipation. “You do?”
“Yes,” Taylor said. “I just don’t want to hurt you. What if I do it wrong?”
“You’re not going to do it wrong,” Jason replied. He thought it best not to say aww audibly, but he couldn’t stop himself from making a face. He held Taylor in a close embrace for a little while, just to calm him down, then moved away from him. “You’ve had sex with girls before, right?”
Taylor laughed. Uproariously. The question seemed to relax him considerably, though, which Jason hadn’t anticipated but was grateful for. “What do you think?” Taylor finally said, after he was done laughing.
“Okay,” Jason replied, smiling at him. “So it’s just like that, except you can’t keep thrusting after I cum because that can kind of hurt.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it,” Jason replied. “There’s other stuff we can add to it, but for the first time we do this, I just want you to fuck me.”
“Yes,” Taylor said, going in for a kiss. Jason kissed him back until they were both breathless and ready again.
“There’s lube in the nightstand drawer,” Jason said, barely managing to pull himself away from Taylor. “You should use a lot. It’s going to feel a little uncomfortable at first, probably for both of us, and then —”
“Then what?”
“Then it’s going be amazing,” Jason said, smiling. “You should get off the bed and stand up.”
Taylor nodded, quickly doing what Jason was telling him to do. Jason was sitting up and Taylor’s incredible erection was in front of him. He could see it through the pants that, for some reason, Taylor was still wearing. Taylor had managed to unbuckle his belt and undo his zipper at one point, but he hadn’t finished the job. Jason did it for him, yanking his pants down to his ankles without much warning or ceremony.
“I want to see your cock,” he said, quietly. Taylor didn’t need to hear it twice, he started to peel off his black boxers with Jason’s help, and suddenly Taylor’s incredible cock was there, right in front of Jason. He told himself to hold off, but he couldn’t do it. His mouth was right next to it and, just like he had told Taylor when they had first walked in, he needed to taste every single part of him. But he didn’t want Taylor to cum without getting to fuck him, so he kissed his balls, which were already small and tight, and then ran his tongue along the underside of Taylor’s dick.
“You’ve seen it,” Taylor said, in between breaths. “Now what?”
Jason swallowed and looked up at Taylor. “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” Taylor replied. “I’m so ready.”
Jason nodded and turned around, getting on his hands on knees. “Normally, I would ask you to finger me first, but I just want you inside me so much,” he said. “I think we can probably skip that part.”
“I want to finger you,” Taylor said. “But I feel like if I’m not inside you right now, I’m not going to be. At least not tonight.”
Jason exhaled sharply. The thought of how much Taylor wanted him was incredible, overwhelming. He could feel it in his body, as if it was a thing that surrounded him. He could hear Taylor using the lube on himself, then around Jason’s asshole.
“It’s okay,” Jason said, trying his best to sound reassuring instead of desperate. “It’s okay, you don’t have to be shy. Just use a lot and you’re good.”
“Okay,” Taylor replied. He fumbled for a few more seconds, then he spread Jason’s cheeks and pressed his erection into him. There was a bit of pain, at first, as Taylor penetrated him slowly.
“Still good?”
“Yes, good,” Jason moaned. “Keep going.”
Taylor did keep going, until he was almost completely inside Jason — or at least that was what it felt like -- then he stayed still. Jason took a second to get used to the sensation, then he moaned. “Okay, now fuck me.”
“Okay,” Taylor said. He thrust his hips forward, saying something about how tight Jason was, though he couldn’t hear him that well. Every movement created a reaction like one of their kisses, except it was a lot more intense, and Jason wasn’t sure how to handle it. Taylor kept fucking him, slow at first, then faster and faster until Jason was sweating, and exhausted, and stroking himself though he didn’t remember when he had first started.
“I’m so close,” Taylor said.
“I’m going to cum,” Jason replied, his hand speeding up to match Taylor’s rhythm. “Cum inside me.”
“Yes,” Taylor groaned. Jason thought he couldn’t hear or see for a few seconds when he was cumming, all while Taylor came inside of him, at the same time. Jason marveled at all the jizz on his bed, considering that this was round two for him, and then Taylor slumped tiredly over him.
And that was when everything but Taylor stopped mattering.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Taylor tried to kiss Jason, but he turned away. “No,” Jason said, laughing and looking around. “I’m so tired. I can’t deal with any more of your kisses.”
“You’re saying that as if you don’t like them,” Taylor replied, laughing as well. He understood what Jason was saying, but that didn’t mean that he liked it.
“Plus, we’re supposed to be getting clean,” Jason said. He was standing under the running stream of hot water while Taylor shivered. “I’m sorry, my shower isn’t really big enough for two.”
“It’s okay,” Taylor replied. “I’m quite aware this is my fault. I know that I insisted.”
“It’s almost your turn with the water,” Jason said. “Just really need to wash all this off.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Taylor replied. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was looking up and down at Jason. “I’m enjoying the view. A little cold never killed anyone.”
Jason laughed. “You’re so sweet.”
“What? That’s true,” Taylor replied, rolling his eyes and smiling. He cleared his throat, trying to gather the courage to ask Jason something a little more serious, but not wanting to ruin what was going on between them right then. Because whatever was going on between them right then felt right and Taylor wanted it to last forever. “Jason?”
“’Sup, honey? Can you hand me the shampoo?”
Taylor looked around the shower. There were at least seven different bottles, none labeled with anything. Plus, Jason’s head was shaved.
“It’s the green one,” Jason said, likely the moment that he saw Taylor looking around with a confused expression on his face.
“But you don’t have any hair,” Taylor replied, though he obediently handed the green bottle to Jason.
Jason laughed. “Yeah, so those tiny hairs on your scalp, you still need to take care of them,” he said. “Trust me, I’m a hairstylist. If this was about, I don’t know, triangles or circles —”
“Okay, okay,” Taylor said, shaking his head and smiling. “I get it. Is it always like that?”
“What, hair? No, it really depends on —”
“No,” Taylor said, shaking his head. “What we did. Is it always like that?”
Jason seemed to take a few moments to think, then shook his head. “No, Taylor,” he said. “As far as sex goes, that was pretty spectacular. You felt it too, right?”
“Yes,” Taylor replied. “I really did.”
Jason moved away from the hot water to let Taylor in. But before he did, he looked into Taylor’s eyes and smiled. “You know,” he said quietly. “I’m really glad I gave you a chance to make it up to me.”
“Good,” Taylor replied. “I’m really glad that I gave you a chance, too.”
***
They ate again. This time, it was actual food, something that Jason seemed to have plenty of in his fridge. They talked, too. Jason asked about his dad and he told Taylor about his mother back in Montana, about his brot
hers and sister. It was odd, Taylor thought. They were just getting to know each other, but sitting there, on Jason’s sofa, talking about their families, it felt perfectly normal. Like domestic bliss.
Taylor finished his food and they did the dishes together, though Jason insisted that he had a perfectly good dishwasher. Taylor did the dishes and Jason dried them and put them away, all while he wore a pair of Jason’s pants that were a little too small for him.
Then they went to bed. The bed was big, but Jason put his leg over Taylor’s and fell asleep almost instantly. Taylor didn’t want to move him, so he ended up falling asleep in an uncomfortable position, one that would probably mean he was going to be sore the next day, but still with a smile on his face.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jason stirred when he heard someone knock on his door. His arms were wrapped around Taylor’s body, even his legs were, and they were both sweating despite the ceiling fan and the air conditioner, probably from sleeping so close to each other.
He looked at the clock on his nightstand and sighed. It was so early in the morning, on a Sunday no less, that this could only be missionaries. He got up and took his robe off the hook in his walk-in closet. He put it on and walked toward the door, rubbing his head. He hadn’t had anything to drink the night before, but he wasn’t getting any younger and staying up late two nights in a row wasn’t doing wonders for his head.
Not that he had much to complain about. Just thinking about the night before putting a huge smile on his face. He wasn’t even thinking about how awkward it would be to get rid of the missionaries when he opened his door.
Jason could feel the blood drain from his face when he saw that the person standing in front of him wasn’t a missionary, it was someone he swore he would never see again for the rest of his life. Someone that he had been planning never to see again.
“Blaine,” Jason said, unsteadily. “You shouldn’t be here.”
He looked better than when he had first arrived at Jason’s place, a few days ago, and he looked like he had just showered.
“I know,” Blaine replied. “I just want to talk to you. For five minutes.”
“No,” Jason said. “No, you lost the privilege of talking to me when you decided to hurt yourself in my living room.”
“I just — I need to talk to you,” Blaine said, putting one foot in Jason’s hallway. Jason was suddenly alarmed. He couldn’t exactly throw Blaine out by force. He was probably still fragile and Jason didn’t want to have to physically throw him out, not that he was going to be able to restrain himself.
“No,” Jason repeated. The loudness of his own voice startled him, and it was the first time that he realized that he was shouting. He softened his tone, because he didn’t want to trigger anything. That was something that Taylor had said, he thought, trying to hold back a smile. Taylor was in his home and he had to protect him from seeing this.
“I won’t leave until you do,” Blaine said.
Jason sighed, rubbing his temple and thinking about his options. Calling the police on Blaine would be humiliating for the both of them, but he didn’t mind that part. He just didn’t want Taylor to wake up to a cop in the living room and sirens going off outside Jason’s window. On the other hand, talking to Blaine also didn’t seem like a particularly good idea. Blaine was volatile, he had shown Jason that already. And Jason didn’t want to find out exactly what that meant. Definitely not right then, not when Taylor was finally sleeping soundly in his bed after the night they had spent together.
“Fine,” Jason said. “Five minutes. But that’s it, okay? After that, you have to leave.”
He took a step forward and Blaine took one back, letting him out of his house. He closed the door behind him, softly, but only so that he wouldn’t wake Taylor up. He had to resist the urge to slam it as he took a step toward Blaine, crossed his arms over his chest and wrinkled his nose.
“Talk,” Jason said.
“They released me,” Blaine said, swallowing and looking away. “After the involuntary seventy-two hour hold. But I decided to check in for a while.”
Jason glared at him. “So when did you check out?”
“I didn’t,” Blaine said. “I’m still there. It’s an inpatient care facility but I can come and go as I please. I’m an adult and I’m not deemed as a danger to myself or to others at this point. I have some free time during the morning on Sunday when other people attend religious services and my therapist recommended that I talk to you. She said — she said that it may be important for me to get a sense of closure.”
Jason rolled his eyes, laughing humorlessly. “That’s what she said, huh? Is that what you were doing when I took you to the hospital?”
“No,” Blaine replied, shaking his head and looking at the ground. At least he had the decency to look ashamed of himself, even if Jason doubted the authenticity of his feelings. “That’s not what I was doing. She told me you might react like this and that it was something I needed to be prepared for, but to be honest, this is difficult for me. You — okay, so I arrived, right? And you seemed kind of on board with what I was saying but you were also skeptical. Rightly so.”
“Yes,” Jason said, tapping his foot on the ground. He didn’t want to hear Blaine’s excuses, he wanted to go back into his house and cuddle up to Taylor. “Okay.”
“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,” Blaine said. “But when you — when you were listening to me talk, when I first came to apologize, I could see how hardened you were. How much you didn’t want to hear it. And it made me realize that I had lost one of the things I cared the most about in the world.”
“If you’re talking about our break-up,” Jason said, rolling his eyes. “That happened years ago. And it was for good reason, we were a terrible couple.”
“No,” Blaine replied, rubbing a blood-shot eye with his fist. He looked so pitiful. Jason could understand why he had invited him to come inside in the first place. Why he had fed him and given him somewhere to stay. But pity wasn’t a healthy thing to be feeling toward someone he used to be in a relationship with, right? He didn’t think so, but he had no one to ask. Blaine still seemed to be gathering his courage to say something and Jason’s patience was wearing thin.
He cleared his throat and turned to face his door. “Well, if that’s all, then —”
“Wait,” Blaine said. Jason rolled his eyes, then turned back around, raising his eyebrows. “Not our relationship. I always knew that you found me a little annoying, but for the first time since we’ve known each other, I could kind of tell how little you respected me. And that made me really sad, and it kind of started me on this spiral —”
“Wait,” Jason said, shaking his head. “You’re saying that the look in my eyes drove you to attempting suicide in my house?”
Blaine sighed, shaking his head. “No,” he said. “That’s not — I mean, it wasn’t what drove me to it. You can obviously tell that things are hard for me right now. I just — I don’t know what I expected when I came to see you, I guess I just didn’t expect to see that look in your eyes.”
“And what, exactly, were you expecting?”
“I don’t know,” Blaine said. “I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you could help.”
“Help how? I gave you food and I gave you a place to stay, I don’t understand what else you wanted,” Jason said, shaking his head. “And you abused my kindness. In fact, I can’t believe you’re even showing up here. What is wrong with you?”
“They’re still trying to figure that out,” Blaine replied, dryly. “I did come here to apologize. Not to make things harder for you.”
“Okay,” Jason said. “So apologize.”
“I’m sorry I made you — I’m sorry about what I did,” Blaine said. “I’m sorry about doing it in your house and I’m sorry that I, I’m sorry that I made you feel so bad for me that you had to look at me like that.”
“Wow,” Jason said, raising his eyebrows. “Really? You’re going t
o blame this on me? This isn’t my fault.”
“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” Blaine replied, taking a step to get closer to Jason, who took a step back. “I’m not saying that at all.”
“I would really like to know just what the hell you’re saying, then,” Jason said. “Because it sounds to me like you’re blaming me for the fact that you took my antidepressants, and all my alcohol, and decided to kill yourself in my living room.”
“No,” Blaine said. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what was it like? Because —”
Before he could get another word in, his door opened. Taylor came outside, his hair sticking to his face and his eyes barely open.
He looked at Blaine, then Jason. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Jason said. “He was just leaving.”
“No, I wasn’t,” Blaine replied. “And who is this?”
Jason looked between them. “This is Taylor,” he said. “He’s my —”
Taylor looked back at him and smiled. He probably had an idea of what Jason was going to say, but he didn’t seem to want to hear it like this.
“You should leave,” Taylor said. He seemed happy to be interrupting Jason. “He doesn’t want you here.”
Jason shrugged. “This is — this is Blaine,” he said. “He’s the guy I was… he’s…”
“Your ex,” Taylor said. “The one who tried to kill himself in your living room. Yeah, you told me. You told me all about that, remember?”
Jason looked away. There was a reason that he hadn’t wanted to wake Taylor up in the first place. He certainly didn’t want him to intervene in the confrontation with Blaine, mostly because he didn’t want Taylor to think he was an overly-dramatic high-maintenance dickhead. And being around Blaine definitely made it seem like he was exactly that. Jason had tried to get the situation under control by himself, but the was obviously not being successful. He knew that he shouldn’t fall for Blaine’s escalation, but he couldn’t exactly help him. Blaine was blaming him for everything that had gone wrong and Jason was starting to feel bad about it.
