Broken
Page 19
“Is it all there?” I have no fucking clue who she is or what she’s supposed to be giving me. Johnny has the list, but he’s not back yet with our lunch. It’s a rarity that I even have to speak during drops. I just like to watch. And when it comes to people not paying up, it’s best that I’m here.
“I’m sorry it’s late.” His rough fingers brush mine as I hold out the thick bundle of hundreds. His touch sends a shot of lust to my heated core and I close my eyes, denying the desperate need burning inside me. It would feel so good to let him take me the way a man should. I haven’t been touched in months. I haven’t felt desire in nearly a year, and I know for a fact, I’ve never felt such a strong pull to a man, never wanted to give myself to someone like I do him.
“What about the interest?” Her eyes widen with fear and her breath stalls as her plump lips part. If it’s late, then she should know to pay that extra 5% per day. Compounded. Johnny should’ve told her all that shit. But judging by her silence and that scared look on her face, she doesn’t have a clue. A grin pulls to my lips, but I stifle it. I want her to think I’m mad. I want her to feel like she owes me. I don’t want her money though. She can pay me in a way I’ve never been paid before. I don’t accept ass as payment, but for her, fuck yeah I’ll take it.
The man on the phone said not to worry about being late. He said he was sorry for my loss and that he understood. I feel my breath coming up short as a lump grows in my throat. Fuck! What the hell am I going to do? Fucking Rick, leaving me with this shit to deal with. I wish I could just fucking hide as these damn tears start pricking my eyes. My hands start to shake as I realize I’m trapped in the bookie’s suite and I owe him money.
“Aw, doll. Don’t cry. We can work something out.” Her bottom lip’s trembling and her gorgeous hazel eyes are brimming with tears. I feel like a fucking asshole for taking advantage of the situation. But then again, what the fuck did she expect? First, she made a bet with a bookie – not fucking smart on her part. Then she comes late to hand over the dough. She had to know there’d be consequences. She parts her lips to respond, but she’s too shaken up. My heart clenches looking at her small frame trembling with worry.
I’ll make it good for her. She looks like a girl I could keep. My brows furrow as I reach out to brush her cheek with my hand. I’m not sure where that thought came from, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch as I wipe away the tear trailing down her sun-kissed skin. As I reach her lips, I part them with my thumb.
I hate the bastard tears that’ve escaped. I feel too raw and vulnerable. I can’t help but to love the warmth of his skin. How long has it been since someone’s touched me with kindness and looked at me with desire? I need this. I need to be held. If only for a little while. His thumb brushes my bottom lip and I instantly part them for him. He can hold me for a moment. I can pretend it’s more. I can pretend he really wants me. I can pretend he loves me.
Fuck, she’s so damn perfect. Leaning into me like she really wants me. Like she needs me. She radiates sweet innocence, but there’s something more about her, something I can’t quite put my finger on. A sting of loneliness pulses through me. I was playing with the thought of having her on her knees in exchange for payment. But I want more. I want her to fucking love what I do to her. I’ll make her want me when it’s over. A coldness sweeps through me. They always want me after, but it’s for the money, not for me. A sad smirk plays at my lips as she licks my thumb and massages the underside with her hot tongue. Fuck, I’ll take it. If she only wants me for my money, I’ll take it. I feel a burning need to keep her.
My brows furrow in anger at my thoughts. My fucking heart is turning me into a little bitch. “Strip. Now.” My words come out hard, making her take a hesitant step back as I pull my thumb from her lips. I instantly regret being the fucking asshole I am. But I can’t take it back. I turn my back to her, to lock the door. I slip the gun out from under my belt and easily hide it from her sight to set it down on the table by the door. God knows what she’d think if she got a look at it.
My body flinches as the hard sound of the door locking echoes through the room. He moves with power and confidence, his gaze like one of a predator. I swallow my pride and slip off my cardigan. I don’t need pride and self-respect right now; I need a man to desire me. The thought and his hungry eyes on me has me peeling off my dress without hesitation. I don’t care if this is a payment or if he’s just using the interest as an excuse to fuck me; I want this. Or at least I want him.
As I reach behind my back to unhook my bra, he reaches for me, wrapping his strong arms around my body and molding his hard chest to mine. His lips crush against mine and I part them for his hot tongue to taste me. He kisses me with passion and need. His hard dick pushes into my stomach. The feeling makes my pussy heat and clench. Yes. The tears stop, but my chest is still in agony. Make it go away, please. Take my pain away.
She fucking needs me; I can feel it. And I sure as fuck need her. I don’t even hesitate to unleash my rigid cock from my pants. I rip her skimpy lace panties from her body, easily shredding them and tossing them to the floor. I squeeze her ass in my hands, pulling her body to mine. I slam her against the wall, keeping my lips to hers the entire time. My chest pounds; hot blood pumps through me. I need to be inside her. I line my dick up with her hot entrance, rubbing my head through her slick pussy lips.
Fuck she wants me just as I want her. I slam in to the hilt. She breaks our kiss to lean her head back, banging it against the wall and screaming out with pleasure as I fuck recklessly into her tight pussy. My right hand roams her body while my left keeps her pinned to the wall. Her arousal leaks from her hot pussy and down to my thighs.
My legs wrap tightly around him as he ruts into me with a primitive need. My body knows I need his touch, my heart needs his lips and it clenches as he gives them to me. He frantically kisses me as he pounds into me with desperation. The position he has me in ensures he pushes against my throbbing clit with each thrust. I feel my body building, every nerve ending on high alert.
His lips trail my neck and he leaves small bites and open-mouthed kisses along my neck, my shoulder, my collar bone. He licks the dip in my throat before trailing his hot tongue up my neck. I moan my pleasure in the cold air above us. My heart stills and my body trembles as a numbness and heat attack my body at once. “Yes!” I scream out as my pussy pulses around his thick cock. My body convulses against his as heat and pleasure race through my heavy limbs. I feel waves of hot cum soak my aching pussy. My eyes widen as the aftershocks settle. What the fuck did I just do? I need to get out of here.
She’s pushing against me like she can’t wait to leave and that makes my damn heart drop in my chest. Fine. It’s fine. It’s not like this was anything more than a payment. I say that over and over while I turn my back on her to grab my pants. I walk across the suite to grab a tissue for her to clean up from the desk, but when I face her, she’s already dressed. My blood runs cold with her dismissal of me and what we just shared. It wasn’t just some fuck. There was something there. I’ve never felt like that before. I never felt THAT before. Whatever it is. I fucking want it. And I’m a man who gets what he wants. My conviction settles as I stride back to her. I’ll have her again. I’ll make sure it happens.
What the fuck have I done? I need to go. I have to go to my son. I want nothing more than for this man to hold me, but I know that’s not going to happen. I’m so fucking stupid. I don’t even know his name. These feelings in my fucked up chest aren’t the same for him. This was just a payment. The thought makes my heart stop and my chest pain, but I brush it aside. I refuse to be any weaker in front of him. I need to be strong for just a moment longer. I try to fix my hair as best as I can without a mirror. I straighten my back and grab my purse as he walks back over to me.
Women like it when I’m an asshole. Don’t know why and I don’t care, but it always has them coming back to me. I definitely want to see this girl ag
ain; I fucking need to be inside her as often as I can. So after I walk her sweet ass to the door I give her a cocky smirk and kiss her cheek.
He leans in and whispers against my ear, letting his hot breath tickle my sensitized neck, “Thanks for the payment, doll.” With that he turns his back and shuts the door without giving me a second glance. That’s the moment the lust-filled hope dies and my heart cracks and crumbles in my hollow chest.
I count the money and start pacing. I need her info from Johnny. I need to know who this woman is. Whoever she is, she’s going to end up being mine. Not five minutes after she’s gone, Johnny comes back. “The first drop just left. She came with everything, but the interest.” I pocket her panties so he won’t see them. “Twelve grand right?”
“We didn’t charge her interest; she didn’t know about her husband’s debt until yesterday.”
“Since when is that how we do business?” I don’t even try to keep my voice down. Blood starts pounding in my ears. “Why the fuck is she paying her husband’s debt? He doesn’t have the balls to come here himself? He sends his woman!” The words jump from my lips before I have a moment to think.
I’m usually more controlled, more thoughtful. If this job has taught me anything it’s that silence is deadly and being a hot head will get you killed. But I’m shaking with rage. Anger seeps out of my pores. Anger that she’s married to a fucking coward and a bastard. But more than that, I’m fucking pissed that she’s taken.
Johnny shakes his head in confusion and slows his movements as he takes in my rage. “No it’s not like that. He died last week, heart attack or something.”
The moment Sarah sees me, the last bit of my hardened exterior cracks. I feel my lips tremble and bite down to prevent the tears. “What did you do, Becca?” Sarah’s pleading eyes makes me feel even shittier. She knows, she can tell. I’m sure I look like I just got fucked. My neck is pulsing from where he was biting me.
Her eyes want me to tell her she’s wrong, they’re begging me to tell her she’s mistaken, but I can’t lie. I can feel his cum leaking out of me and running down my thigh. Evidence of my weakness and my betrayal. The tears well in my eyes and I can’t stop a few from leaving angry, hot trails down my cheeks. All I can manage to reply is the barest of truths, “I slept with him.”
“Don’t cry Becca. It’s alright.”
“Rick just died and I slept with a stranger.” I don’t keep my own disgust out of my voice.
“It’s not like you two were even together in the end anyway. You were separated for nearly two months.” My breath comes in spasms as I rest my head on the door of my car. I loved my husband, but I can’t remember the last time he held me, the last time we made love. A criminal who probably would’ve hurt me had I shown up empty handed gave me more compassion and desire than Rick has in years.
My breath catches in my throat. I took advantage of her in a moment of weakness, but I didn’t fucking know how vulnerable she was. I slam my fist against the window. I didn’t fucking know! A sick, twisted churning makes me want to heave. Fuck, I treated her like some random slut. She probably thinks I’m a fucking animal for doing that to her. Fuck! I knew she needed me. I fucking knew it.
I just needed to be held and feel like I was loved. This shattering in my chest, jagged pieces of glass digging into my heart, it wasn’t worth it. It hurts too much. The worst part is that a very large part of me wants, no needs, to crawl back to him and beg him to hold me again. Just one more time.
I wish I hadn’t let her go.
I wish I’d never had to meet with him.
I clench my teeth and close my eyes, wondering if I’ll ever see her again.
I breathe deep and steady myself to drive away, knowing I’ll never see him again.
I hate myself.
I hate myself.
I’m such a dirty bastard.
Dirty Dom, the first in the Valetti Crime Family Series, is Available Now
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