A Bit of Heaven on Earth

by Linwood, Lauren

  Still, despite Elizabeth’s reassuring words, Agnes’s screams rose again and again. Sweat broke out on Gavin’s brow as he watched her writhe and moan between contractions. The pain the girl endured was remarkable. Both her bravery and that of Elizabeth’s surpassed anything he ever saw on the battlefield. How Elizabeth kept from falling apart continually surprised him. He found himself growing weak from simply watching such an ordeal.

  Finally, the babe came. She signaled him to move closer. He saw the crown of a head appear.

  “Help catch it,” she whispered as she steadied Agnes’s legs, holding them firmly. “That’s right, Agnes. Now push. One more time, a really hard push. That’s what we need. The head is coming through, Agnes, but your babe needs you to do this one last thing. One more push, my girl, and ‘twill all be over.”

  Agnes did as told. If Gavin thought her screams were loud before, he thought she died with the last one. More animal than human, it was a keening wail that came through dry, cracked lips.

  And then the babe squirted from her body. He brought his hands around it, afraid he would drop it. What if he hurt something so tiny?

  “’Tis a boy, Agnes,” Elizabeth proclaimed. “A healthy boy. You can hear from his cry how glad he is to have finally arrived.”

  Gavin’s nerves nearly shattered as the babe slithered and slipped in his large hands.

  “I must cut the cord then tend to Agnes,” Elizabeth said quietly to him. “‘Tis much bleeding, more than usual. You must care for the babe.”

  “Me?” He was dumbfounded. “’Tis the first babe I’ve ever held.”

  “Well, make yourself useful, my lord. I’ve set out all that you need. The babe must be washed and then rubbed down with salt. See to it. And be gentle about it.”

  She returned to her patient and cut the cord that bound mother to her babe. Once free, Gavin did as he was told. The baby boy quieted as he worked. Large, dark eyes stared up at him in wonder. Gavin thrilled to have such a miracle of life within his grasp. He understood in an instant how much it would pain a mother to send her son off to war, knowing he could be lost in the blink of an eye during battle.

  This babe had the rest of his life ahead of him. Gavin bonded with the child, knowing that he, too, had begun a new life after escaping from prison.

  “Now, rinse him. Cleanse his mouth with honey,” Elizabeth instructed over her shoulder. “There’s some in the pot next to you. Can you swaddle him?”

  “Can I . . . what ‘tis this swaddling?”

  “Never mind. I’m almost through here.”

  She finished her tasks and wrapped a blanket around Agnes. She came and took the clean babe from Gavin’s arms and swaddled the child tightly, her moves efficient and practiced.

  Smiling down, she asked the infant, “Are you ready to nurse, little love? Your mama wants to see you.”

  She walked the baby over to Agnes. Both women cooed over him. Elizabeth began to teach Agnes and her babe how to nurse. Gavin, embarrassed, walked out the cottage door and drew a deep breath. Dawn had broken. A new day. One where he could say he helped bring a new life into this world.

  An immense sense of pride filled him. Of all he’d ever accomplished, this night and his small part in birthing the little boy meant the most.

  He heard chattering voices and saw two women come from round the side of the cottage.

  They curtseyed and eyed him curiously. “We’ve come to check on Agnes, my lord. We do every morning for the past week. Her babe will come any day now,” one informed him.

  “Then you can say hello to her and her new son,” he replied. “She gave birth minutes ago to a hale and hearty lad.”

  Both women squealed in delight and rushed into the hut. Elizabeth emerged a few minutes later, her clothes and hair disheveled, a happy glow across her cheeks.

  “They will take care of the rest. We are free to return to the castle.”

  He took the bag from her as they began to walk back. “You are a hard worker, my lady. Do you do this very often?”

  She shrugged. “A few times a month. More often close to Michaelmas. I suppose more babes are begun in the cold winter months.” She smiled shyly at him.

  “You seem in good spirits.”

  “I am,” she agreed. “You think I would be worn to the bone after no sleep and such a long ordeal. Yet for a few minutes after, I am exhilarated, happy for the mother and her child.”

  “Have you ever longed for your own babe?”

  He could have kicked himself for asking, simply from the shadow that crossed her face.

  “I suppose ‘tis not meant to be,” she replied quietly. “I do not mind. I have never really wanted any of my own. I have Aldred to care for. And Kentwood.”

  “But every woman wants a babe in her arms. ‘Tis a beautiful expression of a couple’s love,” he reasoned.

  “I’m not every woman,” she snapped. “I don’t need love. Children, I mean. I have all I want in Kentwood and my husband. A woman’s worth should not be judged by her ability to produce a child.”

  She lifted her skirts and raced off. Gavin quickly caught up with her. He grabbed her arm and whirled her around.

  “I must apologize, my lady,” he began.

  “You have no need to be sorry. I . . . I . . . ” Elizabeth’s voice trailed off, and she began to cry, great gasping sobs.

  He didn’t know if it was because she was tired or for his insensitive remarks, but he knew he was responsible for her tears. He’d never been able to watch a woman cry, especially not as hard as Elizabeth now did. That he’d caused her this pain upset him more than he cared to admit.

  He dropped the bag and enfolded her in his arms. “There now. Hush. ‘Twill be all right.” He held her close, one hand running through her silken locks. “Shush. You will be fine.”

  She raised a tear-stained face to his, her mouth trembling. With no thought to the consequences, Gavin bent his head and touched his lips to hers.

  CHAPTER 14

  Fear struck Elizabeth just as Gavin’s lips met hers. A kiss! What was he thinking? She could not kiss him. She didn’t kiss anyone. Aldred’s feeble attempts over the years flittered into her mind. She stiffened in his arms.

  Her hesitation did not stop him, though. His lips slowly brushed against hers. She realized the sensation was most pleasant. It caused a ripple of heat to run through her. His hand stroked her hair. Her scalp tingled. Her body relaxed.

  Panic set in suddenly. She tensed again. She didn’t know what to do, how to respond. Yet respond she did, as if her body were no longer her own. Her knees grew watery. She gripped Gavin’s shoulders for support. He pulled her closer still. His arms wrapped firmly around her, drawing her into a muscled chest.

  And still his lips worked their magic, now nipping her lower one, teasing her. He licked the corner of her mouth and then trailed kisses along her jaw. Her head fell back. A shudder rushed up her spine.

  This is heaven.

  His kisses continued along her exposed throat. She began to throb everywhere. Her fingers kneaded his shoulder as his cat’s paws might. She heard a noise that sounded like a satisfied growl come from him.

  Then his lips were gone. A shiver passed through her as the gentle breeze blew. She opened her eyes, only to meet his gazing down at her. He brushed a kiss against her temple, another one on her cheek. The slow play of his mouth began again as he caressed her. The throbbing built within her, starting an ache that clamored for a satisfaction she didn’t know how to satisfy.

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, to ask what was happening. Gavin’s hand, so tangled in her curls, caught them and pulled slightly, forcing her head back. His eyes glowed. The yellow rings blended into the warm brown, a heat in them that frightened and excited her at the same time.

  Then his m
outh was upon hers, gentle no longer. She clung to him. His tongue demanded to mate with hers, taking, taking. Again and again he took from her, even her very breath, till she no longer knew where she ended and he began. His arms pinned her against him. Her breasts ached. Her bones melted. A dizziness swept across her. She wanted this to go on. Forever.

  A rooster crowed in the distance. It brought her to her senses. She broke their embrace.

  “I cannot do this,” she gasped. “I cannot. I am married. Aldred.” Her voice trailed off, as no further words would come. She stiffened her spine and locked her knees to keep from collapsing back into Gavin’s arms, back into their inviting warmth.

  Every pore screamed that she had betrayed her husband. A deep shame filled her as she looked at Gavin. He stood before her, his breathing harsh and ragged, his eyes full of smoldering desire.

  The shame was compounded by guilt, because despite her disloyalty to Aldred, Elizabeth wanted Gavin more than anything she’d ever wanted, even more than Kentwood. The thought brought an icy fear. Nothing had ever been more important than her home and the power she wielded here. And now one kiss, from a man she didn’t particularly like, threatened her very existence.

  She raised her chin haughtily and pictured ice running through her veins. These feelings must end, here and now. She would think of it as a particularly difficult judgment, when it hurt her to rule in one party’s favor, against another. No sentimentality, no weakness, could be displayed.

  “I do not welcome such attentions, Lord Gavin. You are never to touch me again.”

  She saw hurt spring to his eyes. Quickly, it was replaced by a steely resolve.

  “My apologies, my lady,” he said stiffly. He turned and picked up the bag he’d dropped during their embrace and began walking stoically toward the castle.

  Elizabeth fell into step beside him, though not too closely. They remained in silence till they reached the gates. Gavin signaled for their opening.

  She turned to him, longing to reach out and touch his stubbled cheek. While he stood tall and straight as the soldier he was, her thoughts whirled incoherently.

  “I bid you good night. Or I suppose a good morn.” He bowed formally and strode across the yard in the opposite direction of the keep.

  She watched him go with a regret that weighed heavily on her. She bit her lip to keep from crying out to him.

  And what would she say if she did speak? Would she beg him to come back and hold her as if she were the dearest thing to him on earth? To ask him to run his hot mouth along her throat? To promise her that he would never let go, no matter what fate tossed their way?

  She shook her head, tamping down the bitter laughter that threatened to escape her lips. Blindly, she made her way to the solar, seeing nothing before her but his image, still feeling his hands push through her hair and his heated mouth upon hers.

  She pushed open the door of the solar. She wearily stripped down to her chemise and drew the curtain back from her side of the bed. As she slipped in, Aldred’s even breathing was the only sound in the room. Usually it comforted her.

  But it didn’t now. And she didn’t know if it ever would. Not after those magical, stolen moments with Gavin at dawn.

  She turned and pulled the curtain again. Rising panic flooded through her. Would her thumping heart awaken Aldred from his deep sleep?

  How could she explain anything to him? With one look, all the trust he had in her would flee. Her husband had given her everything, met her every whim, saw to her every desire.

  Except one . . .

  Who knew what she really desired? She hadn’t known. Not until Gavin’s kiss awakened a sleeping dragon within her. A greedy dragon who wanted more. Much more.

  Silently, she cursed him. What had he done to her?

  And worse. What would she now do?

  He thought the hellhole in France his worst nightmare. That memory seemed like child’s play compared to what he now endured.

  Gavin craved a woman, more than he’d ever thought possible, with a fierce longing that brought a physical ache deep inside, as if a sharp sword had been run through him.

  And Elizabeth was the one woman he could never have. How could he betray Aldred in such a manner? The old nobleman had been more than a father to him. He now saved Gavin from a living nightmare. How could he covet his lord’s lady?

  Much less serve Aldred, defend him and his property. Even defend the very wife he so desired.

  What solution could he seek?

  His first thought was to leave immediately. Go to Robert. If he asked to serve Robert’s father, he would have little contact with either Aldred or Elizabeth. More than likely, being new, he would be among the soldiers contracted to the king. His return to the wars in France would be a strong probability.

  The thought made his heart heavy. He’d lost so much already. Coming back to Kentwood, after the crushing blow he’d suffered during the short time he’d seen Berwyn, seemed like coming to his true home. Disappointment ruled his life.

  He straightened his shoulders. He refused to turn bitter. He was grateful to be alive after all he’d endured in France. He decided to head toward the barracks. He was ready to begin training again. He needed to train again, needed the sheer physicality of swinging a sword with but a single purpose in mind.

  And he needed to find in his heart what he would say to Aldred.

  CHAPTER 15

  Elizabeth opened her eyes. Sleep had finally come, despite her earlier restlessness. She had tried to will her limbs to stay still. Disturbing Aldred was unthinkable, especially since he often slept fitfully.

  “A problem, my dear?”

  She turned her head and saw that the bed curtains were pulled back. Her husband sat in a chair across from the bed, his walking stick in hand. He offered her a gentle smile, which made her feel traitorous. She couldn’t admit to kissing Gavin at any price.

  Or could she?

  Should she place the blame on Gavin? Insist he leave? He and Robert were close. She knew Robert would take in his friend, especially if Gavin shared with him his terrible plight.

  No, thinking like that was selfish and dishonorable. She’d been neither in years. She’d grown from a self-centered brat to a woman of destiny, thanks to the confidence and support of her husband. She would manage the predicament and Lord Gavin.

  “No, nothing is wrong, my lord. I’m just a bit tired, I suppose. Agnes delivered her babe last night, a fine, healthy boy. ‘Twas long and difficult, and especially hard, I would think, with Peter now gone.”

  “Does she need anything?” The concern on Aldred’s face showed what a kind, caring liege she’d married. She admired his still-noble bearing, his warrior spirit, and his gentle ways.

  “I believe things can be arranged to satisfy everyone concerned. Of course,” she said, as she swung her legs from the bed and sat up, “it might include a bit of matchmaking.”

  “You? Meddle?” He laughed heartily. “I never would dream of my lovely wife intervening in affairs of the heart.”

  A mischievous smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “I know. It doesn’t sound much like me, does it?”

  They both laughed before he asked, “Whom have you selected for our Agnes?”

  She paused. “I’ll admit a candidate springs to mind. I’ll see to it today. ‘Tis one of your guard, Aldred. A young man, just a year older than Agnes herself. Might we spare him? Move him to the stables?”

  Aldred thought on it. “Regardless of who this young man is, I doubt he’ll want to move. ‘Tis hard for a soldier to settle in to domestic life, but do as you wish. Make him an offer.”

  He paused a minute and then added, “You might wish to speak to Gavin about it.”

  Simply hearing Gavin’s name caused Elizabeth’s cheeks to burn. “Why?” she as
ked, a bit too sharply.

  “Why, you ask? Well, he is now captain of the guard, Wife. I would think he would make the final decision concerning one of his men.”

  “They are your men, Aldred. I hardly think—”

  “I insist,” he said. “He should be informed. Besides, Lord Gavin needs to see the formidable enemy he’s up against.”

  Her husband’s words puzzled her. “Who?”

  Aldred chuckled. “Why, you, my love.”