Love Undone

by Diana Nixon

  “You’ve got to be kidding me!” she said, shocked after I told her about my visit to The Underground. “The guys fighting there are psychos! They could have killed you in seconds!”

  “What about Daniel?”

  “He has his reasons to go there.”

  “Reasons? Like what?”

  “I’m sorry, Kas, I can’t tell you. You should talk to Dan, he hates me talking about his ‘hobby’.”

  “I see. Thanks anyway. Our talks always make me feel better.”

  “You are always welcome. Do you have any plans for the night? We could go out. What do you say?”

  “First, I need to know what my doctor thinks about it.”

  “Do you have an appointment today?”

  “Not exactly. He’s sending his nephew to examine me.”

  “No, shit? Do you even know who his nephew is?”

  “No, why?”

  “Matthew Robinson is one of the most desirable bachelors in the city!”

  “Hmm… Never heard of him.”

  “Blimey! I can’t believe I’m gonna miss this meeting!”

  I laughed in response. “I thought you were hardened to handsome guys.”

  “No offense, Sunshine, but Matthew will make any woman puff and pant in seconds!”

  “I’ll remember that,” I said, still smiling at my friend’s words.

  “Do you have a camera?”

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “I thought you could make a video of your meeting.”

  “A what? You must be totally out of your mind, Ems! I’m not going to make any videos! So bring your excitement to heel. I’ll call you when I’m ready to go out.”

  “Shoot, I so want to be you now. I’m sick and tired of loneliness.” She paused for a moment. “Do you think it sounds like I’m betraying Adrian?”

  “No, of course not,” I said without hesitation. “I’m sure he would like to see you happy.”

  “Thanks, Kas. You don’t even know how much I needed to hear that. See you later?”

  “Yep, sure.”

  I didn’t know what it was like to be Emily now. I wasn’t even sure if my own attitude to my brother’s death was normal. It didn’t feel like he was gone. Deep down in my heart I was still waiting for him to open the door and hug me tightly, no matter how creepy it might sound for someone else.

  Two hours later, the doorbell rang. I looked into the mirror in the hall and went to open the door.

  “Hi, I’m Matthew,” said a guy just a few years older than me.

  “I thought you would be-”

  “Older?” He smiled at me.

  “Exactly.” I felt my cheeks turning red. “Please, come in.”

  “My age is one of those problems that I have to deal with every day. People always think that experience and youth don’t go well together.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. But stereotypes are hard to break.”

  “True.” Matthew nodded, still smiling.

  Emily was right about the guy. He was very charming; tall, blond, with bright-green eyes, great physique and a smile that no doubt was his secret weapon in winning women’s hearts. Not that it had the same effect on me. Apparently, I was addicted to brutal brunettes. Damn it…

  “My uncle said your bandages were supposed to be removed next week, but according to what I can see, we can remove them earlier. How about tomorrow morning?”

  “Really? Uh, that would be great!” I said excitedly. “You can’t imagine how much I want to take a normal shower.”

  What? Did I just say it aloud?

  Matthew laughed quietly. “I can easily imagine that, actually. I had the same problem a couple of years ago, so I know exactly what you feel now.”

  He made some notes in my medical history, and said he would see me tomorrow in his office.

  “My uncle has a few surgeries early in the morning, so I will take care of your bandages. If you don’t mind, of course.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Good, then try not to do anything super exhausting and don’t lift heavy objects. If everything goes well, you will be as good as new by Christmas.”

  “Can’t wait,” I said, accompanying him to the door.

  As I closed it behind him, I got a message from Emily. “Are you still wearing your pants?” it said. “I bet Matthew did his best to remove not only your bandages.”

  I laughed, typing my response. “We are still busy. Call you later.” A little tease won’t hurt anyone.

  “Holy Hell! You are killing me!” she texted back. “Try not to break his instruments, there might be OTHER patients who will need them, too!”

  I shook my head, still laughing. Sometimes my friend could be such a pill.

  Chapter 9

  “Are you going to wear this?” Emily asked, looking skeptically at my jeans and white shirt.

  “Yes. Why?”

  “My goodness, have you lost not only your memory but a sense of style as well?”

  I looked at my outfit, and shrugged indifferently. “It’s just an appointment with a doctor, not a date, Ems.”

  “An appointment with Matthew is even more important than a date!” she said, coming to my wardrobe. “You should seriously think about getting a grip on yourself, Kassie. Four weeks is more than enough to pity yourself; now it’s time to get back to your normal life, AND to go on a date, after all!”

  I rolled my eyes. “Who said he’s going to ask me out?”

  “You said he was very nice, talking to you yesterday.”

  “So what? It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Wrong answer, Dear. In this case, it means more than your innocent mind can imagine. Now, this is what I call a perfect outfit,” she said, showing me a dress with a long zipper on the back; it was black, with long sleeves and went to my knees.

  “Uh, you think I will be wearing this?”

  “That is exactly what I think,” she said, coming to stand next to me.

  I looked at her through the mirror and shook my head.

  “You know what? You need a boyfriend. Like ASAP. Maybe then you will finally leave me alone.”

  Emily’s smile vanished and I knew why. “You said it’s time for me to get back to my normal life, right? So, why don’t you follow your own advice, and try to be happy again?”

  “Because, I don’t know if I’m ready to let myself feel again,” she said, giving me the dress.

  An idea came to me. “Listen, why don’t you go to Adrian’s with me? Maybe if you see that there’s no one waiting for you there anymore, you will be able to move on.”

  Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “One fire drives out other, remember? Facing your fear is the best way to win it over.”

  “I’ll think about it. When do you want to go there?”

  “As soon as I find a companion. Daniel was supposed to take me there, but… I don’t know if we will ever talk to each other again.”

  “What about the auction?”

  “Well, if he doesn’t call me before that, I will have to do it myself. By the way, do you know whose idea it was to organize the auction?

  Emily took a deep breath and leaned against my bathroom sink, crossing her arms.

  “It was Adrian’s idea. A couple of years ago he and Daniel helped to rebuild the orphanage that we grew up in. After that, they found a few more orphanages that needed help. So Adrian thought about an action to gather money for their reconstruction. Unfortunately, he never managed to put that plan into action. According to his will, you were supposed to inherit the biggest part of his property, including those things he wanted to put up for auction.”

  “Why didn’t I sell them earlier?”

  “Because you were not ready. About a month ago, you called Daniel and asked him to help you with the auction. That’s all I know.”

  “Don’t you think it’s weird that Adrian had a will? I mean he was so young. Why would he think about composing a will?”


  Emily frowned. “I never thought about it. Your brother was a very prudent person. He liked things to be done properly and on time.”

  “Yeah, you are right. Well, anyway I need to do my best to turn this auction into a great event. I saw the list of showpieces, I’m sure we will be able to gain a good sum of money.”

  “Let’s hope for the best,” Emily said, smiling. “Now, it’s time to try the dress. You don’t want to be late for your first date with Matthew Robinson, do you?”

  ***

  “The scars are almost gone, Kassie. Good to know that you are getting well so fast.” Matthew took the last piece of the bandage from my belly, and I almost lost my balance at how free I felt.

  His arms were immediately around me. “You okay? Do you want some water?”

  “Yes, please,” I said, cursing mentally. How could I be so stupid to wear the damn dress? It did look good on me, maybe even too good for an appointment with a doctor. And, I bet Matthew noticed that too. The moment I entered his office, he looked at me from head to toe and smiled approvingly, obviously enjoying the view.

  “Here,” he said, giving me a glass of water. “We will make another appointment for the end of the next week, just to make sure that everything’s fine. I will prescribe some painkillers for you. They are not as strong as those you used to take, but you may still need them during the next couple of weeks.”

  “Okay.”

  “I would still recommend you using an elastic bandage for your arm while cooking, as your muscles are still not ready to work so much. Well, I think that’s it,” Matthew said, giving me the prescription. “How about we schedule your next examination for the next Thursday?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Okay, then I’ll see you next week.” He smiled again, and shook my hand. “No more injuries any time soon, promise?”

  “I promise,” I said, returning the smile. He helped me with my coat, and accompanied me all the way to the taxi, which I was sure would make Emily’s fantasies go wild.

  “Thanks again, Dr. Robinson.”

  “It’s Matthew. ‘Doctor’ makes me feel so old.”

  “Okay, thank you, Matthew,” I said, before getting into the taxi.

  “Can I um, call you some time tomorrow?” Here we go; looks like my friend’s fantasies were not as unreal as I might have thought.

  “Sure,” I replied, surprised to see his uneasiness. Maybe he wasn’t as much of a womanizer as everyone thought he was? However, men could be great actors. Unfortunately, I knew it from my own experience.

  On the way home, I decided to stop by my café. I hadn’t been there in a few days, but missed my work a lot.

  “Just look at you!” Leslie said excitedly, hugging me. “You look wonderful!”

  “Thanks. I can finally feel alive again. How are things going here?”

  “Everything’s fine. We have so much work before Christmas, but its good news, isn’t it?

  “Good news, indeed.”

  “Would you like to join us at our small pre-Christmas dinner?”

  “Of course. I would even like to help the guys with cooking.”

  “Absolutely not! We wanted this dinner to be a present for you.”

  “You are so sweet.” It was good to know that there still were people able to make my heart melt.

  “Guys, look who’s here!” Leslie said, opening the doors to the kitchen.

  “Hey, boss! How are you feeling?” Jake asked, coming to greet me. “Wanna taste my chocolate muffins?”

  “Sure.” I took a fork and a plate and asked Leslie to make a cup of tea for me.

  Watching my team working so well together made me very happy. I remembered Adrian, who always said that if you had people to rely on, you could make the whole world spin around you. Now I realized how very true his words were.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking a seat at the table in the corner. I didn’t want to distract anyone with my presence, so I asked Leslie to sit with me.

  “Mr. Farrell stopped by earlier today to make sure that we had enough groceries and hands to complete the orders.”

  I raised my eyebrows, rather surprised. “I didn’t know he kept checking on us.”

  “Since you were not able to work after the explosion, he sent a few girls to help us in the kitchen. They come when we have too much work to do.”

  I frowned, thinking about the last time he and I talked about the café. He never mentioned the new employees. Not that I didn’t like him helping me, but I still couldn’t understand what was pulling him to me and then pushing him away. Maybe it was time to sit and talk after all?

  Two days later, I still had my doubts about calling Daniel. Every time I started dialing his number, something stopped me.

  Unlike me, young Dr. Robinson wasn’t afraid of using his phone. He called me a few hours after I left his office and asked if I wanted to go somewhere on Sunday, but it was the day of the auction, so I invited him to join me there.

  “Are you serious? He’s coming to the auction?” Emily and my mom said in unison. The two of them came to see me today and insisted on going shopping, saying that my wardrobe needed to be renewed.

  “Yes, but please try not to jump out of your dresses when you see him. He’s just a man!”

  “No, Dear, he’s just one Super-take-me-now-hot man,” Emily said, making me burst out laughing. “Sorry, Mrs. B, but we all know that simple words will never do justice to his handsomeness,” she said to my mom.

  Mom smiled sadly, shaking her head in response. “I wish I still were young and beautiful. Where the hell was my brain when I agreed to marry Mr. Benson?”

  “Mom!”

  “Sorry, Honey. But I gave him the best years of my life. And all for what? To catch him screwing some eighteen-year-old after 20 years of marriage?”

  “Mom,” I said again, looking around. “We are not the only patrons in this restaurant. Why don’t you lower your voice?”

  “What for? I don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. Women should know the truth about men. And you, Sweetheart should be very careful choosing your next boyfriend.”

  “Thanks for the warning.”

  “I mean it, Kassie. I always knew that your father was a tough act to follow. But he had a body and a face to kill for, and the damn butterflies in my belly won over my rational thinking.”

  A few visitors sitting nearby turned their heads toward our table. “God, can we talk about it somewhere else?” I said in a whisper.

  “I don’t want to talk about it at all,” my mom said, rising to her feet. “So, may your father rest in peace.”

  Emily and I could barely hold back our laughter. “Mom, he’s still alive, remember?”

  “No, really? I thought he was already playing chess with his beloved mother in a place that I’m not going to visit any time soon.”

  “Grandma was a very nice woman,” I said, going out into the street.

  “As nice as a devil can be,” mom muttered.

  Emily and I got to my place at about seven in the evening. She refused to call it a day, so I invited her for a cup of hot chocolate.

  “Why doesn’t your mom find someone to go out with?” she asked, examining the contents of my fridge.

  “Looks like you want every single woman around you to start dating someone.”

  “She’s still beautiful, she has good taste in clothing, and she always knows how to make us laugh. Don’t you think she deserves a little happiness?”

  “You know her, she always does what she wants, and I’m sure Dad is the only man she would like to see by her side. Even though she would kill herself rather than admitting it.

  Someone knocked about a half hour later.

  “Do people even know how to use a doorbell?” Emily said irritably. She went to the door. I was busy making another portion of popcorn, so couldn’t open it myself.

  “Oh, it’s you again,” I heard her saying. “What do you want?”

  “Is Kassie here?”


  Daniel?

  “Of course; she lives here, remember? And, by the way, don’t you think it’s a little too late to come here? They give second chances only to fix things, not to screw them up again.”

  “Please Emily, give me a break!”

  I wiped my hands and went into the hall.

  “Daniel? What are you doing here?”

  “Can we talk?”

  Emily and I shared a glance.

  “Come in,” I said.

  She rolled her eyes and went back to watch the movie.

  “Don’t make me regret opening the damn door, Bro!” she shouted from the living room.

  “Do you mind taking a walk with me?” Daniel asked, frowning at his sister’s comment.

  “Give me a minute.”

  Chapter 10

  The first five minutes of the walk were spent in silence. Neither Daniel nor I talked.

  “So where are we going?” I asked, wrapping my coat tighter around me. It was too cold for the walks, but I hoped some private time would help Daniel and me come to an understanding.

  “I want to show you something,” he said as he stopped at the entrance to what looked like a bar.

  “Have I been here before?” I asked, stepping inside.

  “No, it’s a new place.”

  The moment I looked up I froze, speechless. We were the only visitors, but what surprised me most, was the inside of the bar. Its walls were made of dark-red artificial stone, and they were covered with dozens of pictures of different sizes.

  “Oh, my God,” I whispered, realizing that all of them were taken from my past life. There were many pictures of Adrian, too, laughing or simply looking into the camera with the gaze that I remembered so clearly. He always looked a little older than his actual age. There were also pictures of me, Daniel and Emily on the walls, and on small shelves in the corners of the bar. Right above the bar was a huge photo of the three of us, jumping into the water.

  “Where are we?” I asked, looking at Daniel.

  My heart was beating so fast, I hoped I wouldn't pass out right there and then. For a second I thought I was dreaming, but the pain inside me was so real.