by Diana Nixon
I knew that mom would never approve of Angela’s arrival, but my father loved his new wife too much to leave her alone even for two days.
“Guys, please. Can you fight somewhere else?” I said, coming to stand between them.
“Did you know his slut was going to show up here?” Mom looked at me accusingly.
I sighed, already knowing that my reply would only make things worse.
“How could you-”
“Mom, please… It’s Adrian’s day. Don’t ruin it.”
“I’m not ruining anything, but you seem to be completely unable to think straight when this guy puts his arms around you!” She pointed at Daniel standing behind me. “Your father had no right to come here today with her!”
“Why don’t we all calm down?” Daniel said. “Mrs. Benson, do you want me to take you home?”
“Yes, please. I can’t stand being here any longer. Sorry, son; the bar is wonderful. It’s not your fault that we didn’t manage to stay out of our usual fights. The asshole I married years ago doesn’t even deserve to breathe the same air with me.” She gave my father one last angry glance, and headed for the exit.
“I’ll call you later, okay?” Daniel said, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.
“Okay.” I watched him walk away and then turned back to my father. “You shouldn’t have brought Angela here. I told you it wouldn’t do any good for our family peace.”
“Actually, I didn’t know she would show up here. I told her to stay at your place, but apparently she thought it was time to meet the first Mrs. Benson.”
I shook my head, sighing again. “Why is it that every time I think my life is about to be normal again, something unpredictable happens and crosses out everything I’ve been trying to rebuild for so long?” Irritation boiled in my veins, I was seriously sick and tired of all the shit happening to me recently.
“I’m sorry, Sweetheart, I didn’t mean for this night to end up like this.”
“I know. But, it seems like fate likes slapping me in the face. Which is not exactly what I expect from it.”
“Why don’t we go home and call it a night? It’s been a long day.”
Great; another day, another fight, another night without Daniel…
“Let’s go,” I said, taking Dad by the hand. No matter how much I didn’t like his new wife, I still loved him too much to forget about his existence. And, my mom needed to understand it, too, sooner or later.
The week I spent in California helped me to remember many things from my past. With my father’s help, I managed to restore the biggest part of my memories of Adrian and Daniel. Unfortunately, he didn’t know anything about what happened between us after Adrian was gone. But something inside me told me that there was more to it than just the fact that Daniel broke up with me.
About two hours later, I was more than happy to see Daniel’s number flashing on my cell’s screen. I was getting impatient waiting for his call, because the memories of the unfinished game we started were still too vivid in my head.
“Hey, Beautiful. How are things going?” he asked through the phone.
“Angela, Dad and I had a late supper. Now I’m lying in my cold bed that somehow seems too big without you.”
“Oh, God… You are making the pain in my chest get stronger, and the fantasies in my head go wild. What if I come and help you warm your sheets up?”
“Sounds tempting, but that’s not possible.”
“You are a big girl, you know. You can have a man sleep in your bed.”
“I know, but I also know that the only man I want here now won’t be able to just come and fall asleep without waking everyone.”
“Damn true. Well then; I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
“I miss you, you know?”
I smiled, covering myself with a blanket. “I know. I miss you too.”
There was a short pause, and then Daniel asked, “Remember what I told you a week ago, when I stopped by the café?”
I frowned, trying to understand what exactly it was he was talking about. “Something about the fact that you never stopped loving me?”
“Exactly. Remember that when you wake up tomorrow morning, okay?”
He sounded a little strange, but then I thought he only wanted me to remember his feelings.
“I will,” I said, before I sent him an imaginary kiss through the phone and wished him sweet dreams.
“They will all be about you,” he replied, laughing.
“Sometimes you sound like a real romantic.”
“I am a romantic, actually.”
“Yeah, with a dirty mind,” I said, smiling to myself.
No matter how hard I tried to persuade myself that staying away from Daniel was a good idea, my opinion changed the moment I saw him tonight coming to greet me at the entrance to the bar.
He looked so breathtakingly gorgeous, wearing jeans with a black shirt and a dark-blue jacket that matched his eyes perfectly. A few upper buttons of his shirt were open, just enough to see the chain, glistening in the light. Immediately, the images of that chain touching my naked body filled my mind, and I badly wanted for someone to kill me at that moment, as the need that I could feel all over me was simply unbearable. Daniel’s hair looked a little messy, and I wanted to reach out my hand and run my fingers through it. I tried to look anywhere but at him, because I knew the moment I let his attractiveness get under my skin, I would want his lips and hands to explore every inch of me, and that wasn’t the best way to start the night that I didn’t even know how to live through.
Oh, I missed him like hell. I could name millions of reasons to walk away and never come back, but the only reason to stay was so much stronger than anything else…
I loved him with all my heart, and even if I knew I would have to pay for that love, again and again, I would still love him for the rest of my life.
Every night I spent without him, I had dreams that wouldn’t let me forget his existence. The visions of those dreams passed before my eyes, and I smiled to myself, feeling a pleasant warmth forming inside me.
The moment he cupped my face in his palms, I was lost. I had been waiting for the moment to touch him again for so long that I couldn’t resist my desires anymore. His warm breath brushed my lips as the scent of his cologne wrapped around me like invisible chains that wouldn’t let me step back. Never in my life had I wanted anyone as much as I wanted him. Now, I knew it for sure.
Whenever he was around, my lips ached to be kissed. And, he could feel it, as if I were an open book that he could read even with his eyes closed, making every line written on the pages come true, driving me totally crazy and making me forget about everything but his body moving in tune with mine. Even breathing felt like a waste of time whenever we were together. I didn’t need any air, I only needed him, in my mind and in my heart.
I fell asleep still thinking about Daniel; the dreams about him didn’t leave me until the next morning.
When the first rays of sun started waking me up, I tried to force the reality away, but the sound of my coffee machine ruined the rest of my wonderful dream. I cursed mentally, and got out of the bed, intending to kill whoever was in my kitchen.
“Morning, Kas!” Angela said, smiling brightly.
Great; I totally forgot about my guests.
“Did you sleep well?” she asked, taking a sip of her coffee.
“Yeah, kind of.” I sat on a chair and crossed my legs. “Is there enough coffee for me?”
“Sure.” She took down another cup and poured some coffee.
“Thanks.”
“So, what plans do we have for today?”
We?
“I thought you and Dad were leaving today.” I had my own plans for the day and they sure as hell didn’t have anything to do with Angela.
“Robert and I decided to stay for one more day. If you don’t mind, of course.”
Of course I DO mind! Not that I didn’t want to spend more time with my fathe
r, but Angela and I were far from being best friends, and I doubted it would ever change.
“I thought you would show me your café,” she said, taking a seat next to me.
“Sure. Why not?” I tried to force the smile that faded the moment her arms circled my shoulders.
“Thank you, Darling! I’m so happy we can spend more time together!”
You’ve got to be kidding me…
My father smiled sympathetically, entering the kitchen.
“Morning, girls,” he said kissing each of us.
I rolled my eyes, and his smile widened. “I hope it’s okay that we are staying for one more day.”
“It’s okay, Dad,” I said, putting my cup into the sink. “Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
“Actually… I wanted you to take Angela with you; I have some things to deal with.”
Ugh, the day couldn’t have started any worse…
“Where are you going?” Angela asked, frowning. Apparently, she didn’t like the idea of letting my father out of her sight.
“I need to talk to Sandra.”
“About what?” she and I asked in unison.
He shifted uneasily from one foot to another.
“I need to apologize.”
“I think it’s a good idea,” I said, giving him a hug.
“Apologize for what?” Angela asked, crossing her arms.
If only I could kill with my eyes, she would be dead in no time.
“My parents have been married for twenty years. They have many things to talk about,” I said dryly.
Her lips trembled and I rolled my eyes at how forced her disappointment looked.
“Don’t quarrel, girls,” my father said, kissing her hand gently.
Ugh… I wanted to puke at the gesture.
“I thought you would go with us,” Angela said, pursing her lips.
God, looks like everything about her made me sick. How on earth did I manage to live through a whole week under the same roof with her?
“We will still have an entire evening to spend together, Darling. How about I order a table at your favorite restaurant?”
“Sounds great,” she replied, smiling. “Kas, will you join us at dinner?”
“No, thanks. Daniel and I agreed to meet,” I lied, still hoping that my plans for the night would include him.
“Are you and Daniel back together?” Angela asked, frowning. “I thought you said you didn’t want him in your life any longer.”
What. The. Hell…
My father immediately understood the meaning of the look I gave her and hurried to take her out of my sight. “Angie, why don’t you go get dressed? Kassie and I need to discuss something before we leave.”
“Okay.” She smiled at me again, and left, swaying her hips.
“God, why couldn’t you find someone with more brains, Dad?” I asked in a whisper.
“Don’t be angry at her, Sunshine. I love her and she makes me smile a lot.”
“Of course. She looks like a silicone clown.”
“Why don’t you give her a little more credit, Kassie? She’s a good girl.”
“Girl is a key word here.”
“Oh, please. I thought we’ve already been through this.”
“Fine. I won’t say anything else about her. Do you want us to give you a lift to Mom’s?”
“No, I’ll take a taxi.”
“Okay. Try to make your meeting as short as possible. I don’t want to entertain your girl for the rest of the day.”
“I’ll try my best,” he said, smiling.
I returned his smile and went back to my room to take a shower and get dressed. I needed a lot of strength to make it through the upcoming day.
Chapter 22
A vision flickered in my head. I gasped and stared at the steamy mirror in front of me. I ran one palm over its smooth surface and saw pure fear, frozen in my eyes. Absentmindedly, I took a comb and started combing my hair, matted after the shower.
There he was, kneeling on the pavement with his hands, covering his face. He was shaking visibly, and I could hear his sobbing breaking through the noise of the scene surrounding him.
Daniel…
He was talking quietly to himself and crying. I couldn’t catch his words, but I could feel how fast my heart was beating.
I looked around nervously, and ran up to him, saying as I stopped, “What happened? Why didn’t you pick up the phone?”
He looked up at me, and shook his head slowly, as if he wasn’t strong enough to speak.
“Damn it, Daniel, what is going on here?” I kneeled next to him and only now saw a piece of fabric in his hands. It was covered in blood…
My heart missed a beat. I turned my head to the sound of an ambulance siren, and saw the two doctors leaning over someone’s body. Next to the ambulance was my brother’s car…
“Who is that?” I asked, barely able to form my words into a question. I couldn’t take my eyes off the doctor’s back. Somehow, I didn’t want to know who he was trying to resuscitate.
“It wasn’t supposed to end up like this,” Daniel said, still sobbing. “He had to live!”
He had to live… The words sounded so desperate and final.
I rose to my feet and slowly moved to the ambulance; my legs were shaky.
It was the first time my brother looked so helpless. His eyes were closed, a thin line of blood crossed his cheek and went down his neck, spreading all over his collar and shoulder. Even without the doctor trying to tell me something about running out of time and the need to take Adrian to the hospital, I knew my brother was already dead…
The surroundings froze in front of my eyes. I didn’t see anything except for his face looking so uncharacteristically peaceful. I felt as if my own life was leaving my body, pulling me into an endless vortex of darkness and pain. One more second, and I would no longer feel a thing…
I dropped the comb, and it fell to the marble floor of my bathroom, splitting in two. I was shaking from head to toe, and even breathing felt painful. With my eyes full of tears, I sat on a small chair near the wall and hid my face in my hands. I couldn’t stop crying. More and more visions started flooding into my mind and I couldn’t do anything to make them disappear.
When I opened my eyes again, I couldn’t see anything but Daniel’s crushed car. My palms were covered in blood.
“How do you feel?” one of the doctors asked, giving me a bottle of water.
“Is he-” I couldn’t make myself end the sentence, but the doctor knew exactly what I wanted to know.
“Unfortunately, we couldn’t do anything to save your brother, Kassie.”
He knew my name? I lifted my eyes to the doctor’s face and recognition hit me. It was Matthew. He helped me to my feet and asked if I needed anything. I shook my head slowly, and turned to look for Daniel, but he was already gone.
“How did the accident happen?”
“Your brother was drunk. The speed he was driving was too high to escape the crash,” Matthew said, leading me to Adrian’s car that was lying on its roof now. “He lost control and crossed into the oncoming lane, hitting another car and flipping over.”
“Did anyone else get hurt?”
“The other driver only got a few scratches.”
I turned to Daniel’s car again and frowned. “Who was driving it?” I asked, pointing to his black Jeep.
“Mr. Farrell,” Matthew said, confirming my fears. “The police took him away.”
I refused to believe his words as well as the fact that now I could see a whole picture of the accident.
“Wait, you said Adrian was drunk?”
“Yes; we found an enormous amount of alcohol in his blood. We need to make additional tests for drugs and-”
“This is impossible.”
“I know it’s hard to face the truth. I’m sorry about your loss, Kassie.” He put an arm around my shoulders and hugged me slightly. “I need to go now.” He took his business card an
d put it into my coat pocket. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”
I nodded absently and felt even more pain spreading all over me. The wind was playing with my hair, making the scene in front of me even more surreal. Everything looked like a time-lapse movie that I didn’t want to watch, ever again.
Now I knew why my mind refused to remember that day. I still couldn’t believe that it was Daniel’s car that crashed into Adrian’s. I didn’t even want to think that he was guilty of my brother’s death. What was he doing there, anyway? Why had he appeared on the same street that night? Was he following Adrian? If so, why would he do that? Did they fight?
I ran both hands through my hair as another dozen questions rushed through my head. I stood up and went back to my bedroom, frantically looking for my cell phone. The damn thing had that annoying tendency to disappear when I needed it the most. It was neither on my bedside table, nor under my bed. But, there was one thing that immediately caught my eye. The letter that Daniel gave me the night before.
I pulled the towel tighter around me, took the letter and sat on my bed, unsure if I wanted to read it. Then, I opened the envelope and froze, reading the first line.
Dear Kassie,
I know you will be furious reading this, but I hope you will still be able to understand and forgive me for my weakness.
My palms trembled at the familiarity of the situation, and another memory broke through the walls of darkness that formed in my head…
A few weeks ago, I found out about the disease that will take away my life soon. I don’t want any of my family or friends to watch me die. This is the hardest decision to make, but now that I know that no treatment will help me, I only want to live the last days of my life enjoying every moment of it; I want to do everything right…
Leaving you is the worst thing that I have ever had to deal with, but this is my fate and I need to accept it.
More tears rolled down my cheeks as I continued reading the letter. Now, I remembered the first time I found out about Adrian’s secret…
There’s only one person that I told everything about my condition. Please, don’t blame Daniel for hiding the truth from you. It wasn’t his call to make. He’s a man, and he’s stronger than you are, even though now you might be rolling your eyes at the statement. :) But, it’s true. He was the only one able to handle the truth that even I never wanted to accept…
