by Diana Nixon
“He mixed whiskey with painkillers,” Emily said, coming closer. “His heart stopped even before his car did.”
My mouth opened and closed. I didn’t know what to say.
“Now you know the entire truth,” Daniel said.
“But, you knew it the entire time, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did, but I couldn’t betray Adrian’s trust. And yes, I sacrificed our love just to save his reputation.”
“Huh… This is beyond my understanding,” I said. “I need some time to wrap my mind around everything.” I rushed to the door and slammed it shut behind me.
The road blurred under my feet. I didn’t know where I was going. It was raining cats and dogs, and I laughed at the familiarity of the situation. Once again, the truth was followed by the rain.
I don’t know what shocked me most: the fact that my best friend had been hiding her involvement in the accident, or the fact that Daniel’s devotion to my brother was even stronger than what he felt for me. It was too much to handle now; Daniel was too much, my love for him was too much.
I didn’t notice the moment I opened the doors to At Adrian’s. Only when his smiling face over the bar met me did I realize where I was. I went to the bar and ordered a shot of tequila. Ten minutes and seven shots later, I could barely remember my name, but I hardly cared.
“Ms. Benson, shall I call a taxi for you?”
I looked up at the bartender and frowned. “How do you know my name?”
“I’m Steven. I used to work at your café. Don’t you remember me?”
I didn’t.
“Oh, right,” I mumbled, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions.
“So, shall I call a taxi?”
“No, thanks. I need more tequila and a cigarette please.” I didn’t smoke, but right now it felt like the best time to start.
“How about a cup of coffee instead?”
I hiccupped, only later realizing that there were people sitting on both sides of me. “Sorry,” I smiled at the guy on my right. “Don’t you understand English?” I said dryly, turning to the bartender, again. “I need more-”
“It’s okay Steven, I’ll take care of this.”
I turned to the sound of the familiar voice and my lips twisted in a big smile. “Daniel! What a pleasant surprise! I thought it would be good to have a drink.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” he replied, trying to help me to my feet.
“Gosh, I’m fine!” I snapped, pulling my hand out of his.
“You are anything but fine,” he hissed into my ear. “Now, let me take you out of here.”
“I wanna stay!” I protested, turning back to the bar.
“My goodness, who the hell let you drink so much?” he said irritably, literally dragging me to the exit.
“That nice guy, Stan,” I said, waving to the bartender.
“It’s Steven, and you always liked making my life harder, didn’t you?”
I laughed aloud. “Sweetheart, your life is so fucked-up. I doubt I can add any more shit to it.”
“Oh, you are so wrong, Baby,” he sang, opening the passenger door of his car. “You are the only person able to fuck it up even more.” Then, he pushed me onto the seat and slammed the door shut.
I rolled my eyes, trying to fasten the seat belt. “You are such an ass,” I said, as he got behind the wheel.
“It sounds almost like a compliment from you.”
“You know what? Screw you!” I shouted, punching his arm as hard as I could. It only made him angrier.
“Stop trying my patience, Kassie,” he said warningly.
Too bad he didn’t know that as dead drunk as I was now, I wasn’t afraid of anything.
“Fine. I think I will get out here,” I said, opening the door of the running car.
The next second my head hit the panel and stars started flying in front of my eyes.
“Ouch! Are you out of your fucking mind?” I shouted, rubbing my forehead where I was sure there would be a big knot tomorrow.
“Should I let you jump out of the car?” Daniel shouted back. “Are you tired of being alive?”
“Yes. I. Am! I’m tired of living like this! I’m so freaking tired of all the crap happening around me. No one wants to give me a break! So, why would I want to live?”
I stared at him, feeling the pulsation in the place where my forehead kissed the panel. It was damn irritating.
Daniel rubbed the bridge of his nose and inhaled deeply.
“Why don’t we try to calm down?”
“I am calm,” I said, still watching him. He looked tired and I wondered if he ever closed his eyes last night.
“I’ve already figured that much,” he said, opening the door.
“What do you think you are doing?”
“I need some fresh air,” he said, getting right into the rain.
I was watching him leaning against the car with his face open to the rain. Suddenly the amount of alcohol in my blood felt too much. I opened the door and got out of the car, taking a few deep breaths; my skin welcomed the raindrops, running down my cheeks.
“Please, get back inside,” Daniel said, still standing on the other side of the car.
“I can’t.”
“What?” he turned around, frowning.
“I think I’m sick,” I said, grimacing.
In the blink of an eye Daniel ran up to me and put his arms around my waist, saying, “Look at me, Kas. Take a deep breath, and try to think about something else.”
“Like what?”
“Like anything.”
Unintentionally, my eyes travelled to his lips. I lifted my hand and wiped away a few drops of water glistening on their smooth surface. “God, why the hell do you have to be such a gorgeous bastard?”
Daniel smirked at my words. “Something tells me God loves the way you call on him.”
“You are not a god.”
“I’m a gorgeous bastard. I got it.” He removed the strands of hair that clung to my cheeks and said softly, “The rain’s stopped. Do you think you can handle a walk? We are only a few blocks away from your apartment.”
“Will you go with me?” Somehow, I didn’t want to be alone, now.
“Only if you promise not to throw up in the middle of New York.”
“Can’t promise anything,” I said, forcing a smile.
“Fine,” he sighed. “Let’s go.”
I took Daniel’s hand and the two of us walked slowly down the street.
We didn’t talk, or fight. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking; I only knew that right now, I didn’t want to be with anyone but him.
Being home felt like the best thing ever. I went straight to my bedroom, took off my half-wet clothes and got into the shower, welcoming the hot water touching my skin.
Finally, the reality came back, and this time it was so much different from what it was a couple of hours ago. Now, everything took its place, except for one thing: Daniel and I still needed to find a way to coexist on the same planet. Somehow, I was sure I would never be able to live without him again, especially now that I knew the price he had to pay for his sacrifice. He never gave up on us; I had. Was saying ‘I’m sorry for not trusting you’ enough to be forgiven? Daniel was right, after all; it was Adrian’s choice and we all had to accept it, no matter how terrifying the realization was. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell anyone else about what my brother did. Only Daniel, Emily and I were allowed to know his secret, and now I also needed to find strength to talk to my best friend. She didn’t deserve any of those things that she had been living with for the last two years. If only Adrian hadn’t been such a stubborn brother.
He took care of everyone except for himself, and even though it took too long to understand the reasons for his actions, I couldn’t help but admire his strong will and love for every one of us. He knew it would be hard to see him, knowing that he had only a few more months to live, and he hated compassionate gazes. Even when he failed to do something, he didn’
t want anyone’s help, saying that the first try didn’t count. And, my brother never failed twice…
Chapter 25
The moment I went back to the bedroom, I was stunned by the view of a half-naked Daniel, standing near the heap of boxes that I still hadn’t managed to unpack.
“Don’t you think it’s time to find out what you are hiding here?” he asked, taking one of the top boxes.
I had a better question to ask. “Where are your clothes?”
“Oh, it turned out that my boxers were the only piece of dry fabric on me. I thought you wouldn’t mind me using your clothes dryer.”
Sweet baby Jesus…
“I don’t mind,” I said, turning away from the view of his perfect body standing in the sunlight. My chest tightened at the memory of that perfection touching me.
“You okay?” Daniel asked, apparently noticing my frozen posture.
“Yeah, I was just looking for this,” I said, grabbing the first shirt I found in my drawer.
“I didn’t know you still had it,” he said, smiling.
I looked at the shirt, and the realization hit me.
“Oh, I forgot to give it back to you,” I said, blushing from head to toe. The shirt that I found used to belong to Daniel. A very spicy memory was connected with the thing.
“I remember you tearing it off of me,” he said, as if reading my mind. A few buttons were still missing, and I blushed even more recalling the moment they were lost.
“You said you liked me wearing it, so I decided to keep it,” I said, turning back to the drawer hoping to find something else to wear.
“Put it on,” Daniel said into my ear.
I almost jumped at how unexpected his closeness was.
“I want to see it on you again.”
I turned around slowly, hoping he wouldn’t notice fear that I was sure was written all over my face.
Wordlessly, he ran his fingertips down my chin, neck and all the way to where the towel covered my breasts. Then, he pulled it slightly down and I didn’t even notice the moment it fell to my feet.
“So beautiful,” he said, his eyes still locked with mine.
Then he placed one hand on my chin and leaned forward, placing a light kiss right at the corner of my lips.
“Am I still allowed to kiss you?” he asked in a husky voice that made tingles run down my spine.
I closed my eyes briefly, trying not to think of how close we were standing to each other with only a thin lay of air separating our bodies.
“I’m not sure,” I said, opening my eyes again and seeing his beautiful dark-blue pools staring back at me with so much need and love; I doubted I was able to pronounce a word.
As if feeling my hesitation, Daniel wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer so that now I could feel his chest rising and falling against mine. Every inch of my body was on alert.
“All you need to do is to ask,” he whispered inches from my lips. Sliding his fingertips along my jaw, he put his palm at the back of my neck, making our lips brush. “Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll obey.”
Damn, it sounded so tempting. I couldn’t take my eyes off the perfect features that I loved so much. Running my palm up his back and shoulder, I leaned closer to his ear, saying quietly, “Make me forget myself.”
The next moment, his lips crushed mine, and it was nothing but the most seductive and demanding kiss ever; the most beautiful dance and the most irresistible touch ever.
I wasn’t the only one standing on the edge of losing control. Somehow, every one of those times that Daniel and I were together felt even more intense and mind-blowing.
My head tilted to the side and I felt Daniel’s lips moving slowly down my neck and collarbone; the mere thought of the things that could happen next, made my stomach flutter. But he didn’t rush anything. His every move was so careful, as if he were afraid of something that I couldn’t understand.
His hands slipped down my arms and across my breasts, and I couldn’t help but moan at how good he made me feel. Our naked chests pressed together again, but it still felt like not enough.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, watching Daniel’s thoughtful eyes staring at me.
Wordlessly, he took his shirt from my hands and put it on me, fastening only one button somewhere on my belly.
My eyebrows rose questioningly, making his lips twist in one damn sexy smirk. “I kind of like you to remember the nights we spend together.”
Okay…
“And what makes you think I won’t remember this one?”
“The fact that I stopped counting the number of tequila shots when you were on your fifth.”
“Ugh,” I shook my head, disappointed and a little angry. “I’m more than sober now.”
“Maybe you are, but I still hate the idea of you having regrets in the morning.”
“You are one shameless creature,” I snapped, pushing him slightly away.
His quiet laughter filled the silence of the room, making my knees tremble. I couldn’t help but admit how much I liked the sound of it. I smiled to myself and slipped under the blanket, my body welcoming the soft touch of fabric. Maybe Daniel was right after all, and I needed rest and time to let the tequila leave my mind and blood.
Daniel stopped near my bed and looked down at me, saying, “It’s the first and the last time I will let you fall asleep without a proper goodnight kiss.”
“We will see,” I said, turning away from him.
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I asked almost in a whisper, his palm sliding up my leg and all the way to my hip.
When I turned around again, he was leaning over me, still smiling, with the eyes so unbelievably mesmerizing that I didn’t know how to fall asleep knowing that he was still in my room.
“It means you will have to work hard to gain my forgiveness,” I said, trying to sound calm.
“How hard do you want me to work?”
“Shut up, dirty mind. You wanted to help me with the boxes, right? So go ahead, do at least something to please me tonight.”
He laughed aloud and placed a light kiss on my lips. “Don’t tease me. You know I never knew how to keep calm around you.”
“Will you stay?”
“Of course, I will.” He caressed my cheek with the back of his palm and got back to his unfinished work.
The next morning I woke up with a terrible headache. I immediately knew that the day would suck. Vague images of my wonderful dream passed before my closed eyes, and I smiled at the pleasant warmth filling my body. Instinctively, I moved closer to where Daniel used to sleep and found nothing but a cold pillow. Frowning, I opened my eyes and stared at the empty place next to me. Where the hell was he? I didn’t want to think that he broke another promise and left, but then I heard the sound of the coffee machine working and breathed a sigh of relief. He stayed.
I looked down at myself and saw that I was still wearing Daniel’s shirt. I lied to him last night. Of course, I never forgot about his shirt. Every time I missed him, I put it on and imagined that he was somewhere near. It always made me feel loved, even though I tried really hard to stop loving its owner.
I got out of bed and went to the kitchen just to see the following picture: Daniel, standing in his boxers with a cup of coffee in his hands and Angela, eating him alive with her eyes, and a dreamy smile playing on her lips. What. The. Fuck?
“Morning,” I said in a cold voice, giving her one of the most angry glances I was capable of.
“Morning, Kas,” she replied, not even looking at me. “I didn’t know you had such a charming friend staying here overnight.”
My eyes travelled to Daniel that seemed to be really enjoying my indignation.
“I can see that you decided to enjoy your coffee without me.”
“And, good company as well,” Angela said, making the blood slowly boil in my veins.
“I was actually going to bring you a cup, but your mother-in-law started asking questions, and I did
n’t notice the time.”
“Right.”
“Don’t be jealous,” Daniel whispered into my ear. “Though, I have to admit that I love it.”
“Very funny,” I snapped back. “Where’s my father?”
“Booking a taxi to the airport,” Angela replied. “Too bad we need to go home. I would gladly stay here a little longer,” she added, winking at Daniel.
You’ve got to be kidding me...
“What time are you leaving?” I asked, trying really hard not to splash my freshly made coffee into the bitch’s face.
“Our flight is in three hours,” my father said, entering the kitchen. He looked at my outfit and smiled, adding, “I’m glad you two found a way to come to an understanding.”
My cheeks flushed. “It’s not what you think,” I said, punching Daniel for returning my father’s smile.
“Whatever it is, I hope this time it will work.”
“I’ll try my best,” Daniel said, wrapping one arm around me.
“This time you need to try better than your best.”
“Okay,” he chuckled, kissing my forehead. “What’s wrong with your mood?”
“Every word you say bounces in my head like a drum.”
“It calls a hangover, Baby.”
“No, really? I thought it was just a headache.”
“Kas, can I have a word with you?” Dad asked.
“Sure.” I looked briefly at his wife and Daniel and followed him to the living room.
“So, are you two together again?” he asked, nodding toward the kitchen.
“That’s exactly what we are trying to figure out.”
“Your mother is worried about you.”
“Why?” I took a seat next to him and was a little surprised when he took my hand in his; he hadn’t done that for what felt like forever.
“She said she talked to Daniel a few days ago, and now her opinion about him is much better. She says he’s a different man now; more wise and determined. And, he loves you.”
“I know. I love him, too.”
“Do you see him as a father to your children?”
