Polaris: Book Five of The Stardust Series

by Autumn Reed

  “That’s not true. She’s just upset about the rumors right now.”

  “No offense, Chase, but your nice guy routine isn’t helping.”

  “I’m not that nice,” I grumbled, inexplicably offended even though I knew he was right. The last thing he needed was for me to pretend like everything was fine. Thinking of something that might help, I said, “Take the next left.”

  He looked at me but didn’t respond, turning where I indicated. I directed him to a rundown building in a not-so-great area of town. A faded sign with the words “Santa Cruz Boxing Club” was the only thing indicating the business’s purpose.

  Theo pulled into the parking lot, empty except for one truck. “Boxing?”

  “Yeah. Ethan brought me here to spar a few times.”

  “How did I not know that? I didn’t even know this place existed.”

  “You know Ethan. He’s never been particularly open.”

  “And look where that’s gotten him.”

  I nodded and opened my door. “Come on.”

  Theo jogged to catch up with me as I strode to the entrance. “Are you sure about this? We’re not exactly dressed for working out.”

  I glanced at his jeans and T-shirt and my sweats and hoodie. “Who cares? It’s not like anyone is around to judge our clothing choices.”

  “Fine,” he sighed, “but if I get blood on my shirt, you’re buying me a new one.”

  “Or you could just take it off.”

  As we walked inside, Theo muttered, “Nice place,” his sarcasm obvious.

  I was in complete agreement—the drab walls, dated equipment, and poor lighting provided a depressing atmosphere—but we weren’t here for nice. We were here to work off some of his anger and aggression. When all was said and done, I’d rather him take it out on me in the ring than on Knox or Haley or even the Mustang.

  A man with a scraggly beard reclined in a chair behind the counter, watching an old TV mounted to the wall. “Hey, I know you. You’re Wright’s friend. How’s he doing? Hasn’t been by in ages.”

  “He’s okay. He moved to Miami for a while, but he might be coming back.”

  The guy grinned, showing off a few missing teeth. “Glad to hear it.”

  Pulling my wallet out, I said, “I know you’re closing soon, but I’ll pay for the entire hour.”

  He waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about it. Just tell Wright I said hi.”

  “Will do. Thank you.”

  “You know I have almost zero boxing experience, right?” Theo asked as we outfitted ourselves with gloves and headgear.

  “I don’t have much either, but as long as we avoid killing each other, I think we can handle it.”

  “Okay, let’s do this.”

  As we began sparring, Ethan’s lessons started coming back to me, and I tried to coach Theo. “Lower your hands.”

  He scowled. “So you can punch me in the face?”

  “No, so you can see what you’re doing. And your jabs should be quicker and not so hard. You’re expending too much energy.”

  “Okay.”

  We kept at it for about a half-hour before calling it quits. Though we were clearly out of our element, there was something strangely freeing about boxing. Maybe it was the way I felt in control and out of control at the same time. Or maybe it was giving into the need to hit something.

  “I suck, but that felt really good,” Theo said, flopping onto the floor.

  Leaning against the wall, I used my sweatshirt to mop up my sweat. “It did. We should take a class.”

  “I’d like that.”

  Silence stretched between us, until I finally said what I’d wanted to since finding him in the kitchen. “What if she’s right to pull away?”

  “How can you even say that?”

  I stared at the cracks on the gym mat beneath me. “Look at what happened when people found out Haley had been seen with Knox. Think about how much worse it will be when, if, they discover she’s with all five of us. They’ll never accept her.”

  “So what if they don’t? She doesn’t need those people.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Why not?”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but he cut me off. “Seriously, why should Haley care about what Vanessa and her minions think of her? She has us. She has Patrick, Kara, Jessica. Why does the rest matter?”

  “I just hate to take away her chance to be normal. She missed out on so much growing up.”

  “Are you sure about that? What did you ever gain from being normal? I mean, out of all of us, clearly you’re the most normal. Has it made your life any better?”

  I thought back through my childhood, weighing. Sure, I’d been able to experience school, friends, the swim team. Apart from not knowing my father and struggling financially, I didn’t have much to complain about growing up. But did the normalcy make it better? Maybe not.

  “Still, how can we let her sacrifice her future for us? Because that’s what she’d be doing.”

  Theo shook his head. “Don’t you get it? We are her future.”

  “How can you be so certain?”

  “I just am. Why else would the five of us fall for the same girl? It’s meant to be. That’s the only explanation.”

  I wasn’t sure I followed his reasoning, but I wanted to believe he was right. I was committed to making this relationship work, and bumps in the road were inevitable. If we stuck together . . . if we fought for her, for us, we would get through this.

  “So, what’s the plan?” I asked.

  He gave me a half-hearted grin. “Break down her door and force her to listen to us?”

  “Why don’t we agree to give her space through the weekend? Think you can convince Knox to stand down?”

  “Yeah, he’ll be fine.”

  “And if she’s still withdrawing next week . . .”

  Theo grinned for real. “We’ll huff, and we’ll puff, and we’ll blow her walls down.”

  14

  Faulty Logic

  Haley

  I leaned my forearms on the steering wheel and rested my head against them. I was exhausted—physically tired from a long day of training and emotionally wrung out after even longer nights of tossing and turning with little to no sleep.

  I'd spent the weekend alone at the loft with no word from the guys, and I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad that they'd honored my request for space. I knew they were upset, hurt, concerned, and I couldn't blame them. For the past week, I’d persisted in pushing them away, questioning every decision I'd made, from returning to Santa Cruz to kissing Knox at the zoo. I was spiraling out of control, frozen in time without a clear path forward.

  My phone chimed with an incoming text message, and I debated whether to even look at it. With a labored sigh, I relented, surprisingly relieved when I saw it was from Jess. An image of an adorable puppy appeared on the screen before another message came through.

  Jessica: I really, really want to adopt her. Please tell me it's a terrible idea.

  I laughed to myself, feeling better than I had in days. What was it about a fluffy, white puppy that could make the world seem brighter?

  Me: She is so freaking cute. How can you resist that little face? I think she’s even smiling.

  Jessica: So not helping, Hales! Between a full class load and volunteering at the shelter, I'm never home.

  Me: You and me both. But, I get it. I would love to adopt a dog.

  Jessica: *sigh* One day. At least you have Penny.

  Me: True. She's such a sweetheart.

  Jessica: How are you? How are the boys?

  My fingers froze, poised over the screen as I debated my response. My relationship with Jess had improved since her visit, but not to the point that I was ready to share my current woes. So, I did what I apparently did best—avoided the real issue.

  Me: They loved the zip-line tour. Thanks again for suggesting it!

  Jessica: Awesome!

  Jessica: Crap. Scratch got out o
f his cage again. I have to go. Talk soon?

  Me: Sounds great!

  I turned the heater in the Jeep to full blast and kept the radio low as I drove through traffic. It was past rush hour, but the rain seemed to turn everyone on the road into terrible drivers, and it took longer than normal to get home. Intending to sneak into my room unnoticed, I knew I was busted the moment Theo rounded the corner at the end of the hall.

  “Come join us, señorita bonita.” His wide smile was cheerful, overly so, making me wonder what he was up to.

  Sounds emanated from the kitchen, and a delicious medley of spices wafted through the air. It seemed that the guys had gone ahead with Taco Tuesday even though I'd canceled it.

  Reluctantly, I deposited my tote in my room and trudged down the hallway. I wasn't prepared for the sight that met my eyes—every single one of the guys was in the kitchen helping prepare dinner. Theo washed some cilantro, Chase flipped tortillas at the stove, Liam sliced the meat to perfection, Jackson sautéed vegetables, and even Knox was preparing guacamole, mashing the avocados to a pulp. Liam went over to him and lifted the fork from his hands, setting it aside before he pulverized the bowl as well.

  They all paused in their tasks when I entered, taking a moment to greet me. Despite how I'd behaved the past week, they appeared genuinely happy to see me. Feeling uncomfortable from the attention, I was thankful when they resumed their dinner preparations. Well, everyone but Knox returned to their tasks, since Liam shooed him out of the kitchen, insisting he set the table instead.

  “I thought we canceled Taco Tuesday?” I said to no one in particular.

  “No, you canceled Taco Tuesday,” Knox grumbled, placing the silverware on the table with unnecessary force.

  Theo shot him a dirty look before flashing me a brilliant smile. “We know it can be a lot to cook after a long day at work, so we stepped in to ensure the tradition was upheld.” He added sliced limes to a bowl before fussing over the salsa and guacamole. “Though Liam insisted on fajitas, which makes it Fajita Tuesday.”

  “What can I get you? Margarita, agua, cerveza?” Liam made it sound like we were at a fiesta on the beach instead of the loft on a dark, dreary night.

  “I'll stick with water, thanks.”

  Feeling uneasy, I took a seat at one of the barstools and Liam brought me a bottle of Topo Chico. He sidled up next to me, margarita in hand. “How was your day, gorgeous?”

  “Fine,” I said, slumping in my stool. “Long.”

  It had been unseasonably cold and rainy, and all I wanted to do was take a hot shower, then curl up in bed with a book. Instead, the guys were forcing me to interact with them, and I knew it was because they were fed up with my sulking. Apparently, there was an expiration date on giving someone space.

  “I've missed you.” He brushed a hair away from my face before cupping my cheek. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to block out the conflicted emotions swirling through me. Unable to handle his nearness, I pulled away and tried to ignore the hurt that flashed through his eyes.

  When Jackson announced that dinner was ready, I scrambled to the table, taking a seat at the end. I was genuinely impressed by the meal and its presentation, especially knowing that the guys didn't usually go to such lengths. They wouldn't let me off the hook until I at least ate something, so I added a tortilla to my plate and topped it with chicken and vegetables, shredded cheese, and a spoonful of guacamole.

  “How do you like working with Kenneth?” Jackson asked just after I'd taken a large bite.

  I finished chewing, then responded. “He can be . . . demanding.”

  “The course is wrapping up soon, right?”

  I nodded, thinking of how relieved I would be once I’d finished the final assignment. It was quickly approaching, and I hoped I was prepared. Knowing Kenneth, it wouldn’t be easy, and there were sure to be unexpected surprises.

  “How's the Dashwood assignment?” I wanted to keep him talking, rushing to finish my dinner so I could escape to my room as soon as possible.

  “Moving along. Thanks again for the suggestions. We already incorporated them.”

  “That's great.” I crammed down the rest of my fajita while Chase, Knox, and Theo talked about basketball.

  “Well,” I said as I pushed away from the table and stood, “thank you for dinner.”

  “Haley, please . . .” Jackson pleaded, causing me to pause my hasty retreat. He seemed so vulnerable, his cerulean eyes swirling with emotion. “Please don't go, not without talking to us first.”

  All other conversation stopped, and everyone turned to us, awaiting my response. I bit my lip and stared at my empty plate. “I can't do this right now.”

  “Have somewhere better to be?” Knox challenged from the other end of the table. He took a sip of his beer, and it was then that I saw the exhaustion, the weariness, etched into his face.

  Resigned, I sank into my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine. Let's get this over with.” Theo's face twisted with disappointment, and I didn't dare look at the others.

  Jackson took my hand in his. “Are you upset about the rumors, or is there something more going on?” I furrowed my brow, and he must have taken it as a sign to continue. “Is someone threatening you? Or your dad?”

  I shook my head, finally comprehending his train of thought. The last time I'd freaked out and left, I hadn't told the guys about Gerald Douglas's threats. “No. No threats beside the obvious one.”

  He nodded, understanding that I was referring to Vincent DuBois, the man who would stop at nothing to keep my dad silent about his criminal activities. Still, DuBois wasn't an immediate threat, at least not now that my dad was under Zenith's protection.

  “Why don't you tell us why you're so upset about the rumors, then,” he coaxed.

  I sighed heavily and tried to tamp down my anger, anger that was mostly directed at myself. “I'd assume that was fairly obvious, considering the fact that your names are being dragged through the mud. Because of me.” I jabbed a finger into my chest. “Because of the choices I made.”

  “The choices we made,” Jackson said. “Choices that we aren't required to defend to anyone else.”

  “So, it doesn't bother you that everyone at Zenith is more focused on my love life than your ability to perform your job?”

  I directed my question at the table, but it was Knox who answered. “You honestly think I care that Cindy in accounting thinks I'm sleeping with my best friend's girlfriend? Or that Doris sneers at me every chance she gets?” he asked, nearly wilting me with his intense gaze.

  Theo waved a hand dismissively through the air. “It's temporary. Once the next juicy story breaks, they'll move on. Just like they did after Ethangate and The Elites debacle.”

  “And what if they learn the truth about our relationship? Will you feel differently?”

  Five voices answered with a resounding “no.”

  I shook my head, realizing for the first time that they were blinded when it came to me. Seeing the potential damage to their reputations, their careers, had removed my rose-colored glasses. Maybe I needed to do the same for them.

  “I know how hard you've worked individually and as a group. I will not let you throw that away for me.”

  “Our track record speaks for itself,” Jackson said confidently. “People can talk, but it's just that.”

  I shook my head, unconvinced. “This goes deeper than public opinion. My presence affects the team negatively.”

  Jackson scowled, and I could see the faces of the others were just as pissed, but I pressed on. “Jaguar has consistently been one of Zenith's top-performing teams. Let's consider what's happened since my arrival. Ethan left the team and joined a band of rogues. Jax was shot. And, now, everyone thinks you've let a woman screw with you.”

  “Don't you dare take all the blame, Haley.” Knox's voice was laced with anger.

  “Why shouldn't I? Even you couldn't completely deny my role in Ethan's departure from the team.”

&
nbsp; Chase's head whipped between us. “What are you talking about?”

  I'd already gone this far. Why not put it all out there? Chase deserved to know, even if it was too late to change the result. Maybe then they would finally realize how destructive I was to the group.

  “Right before Ethan filed his paperwork to leave the team, he told me he wanted to be together, and I rejected him. Had I not done so, he might have stayed in Santa Cruz. He might have stayed with the team.”

  Liam threw his head back and laughed, while Theo took a moment to process my latest revelation. Since Jackson didn't visibly react, I assumed Knox had already told him. I waited for Chase's reaction, watching as his expression morphed from one of surprise to determination.

  “Ethan had issues with the team well before you came along. I ignored them, not wanting to admit there was a problem. His leaving was not your fault.” Chase's voice was full of steel, his eyes never straying from mine.

  “Wait,” Liam said, more somber now, “is that the real reason why you vanished last spring?”

  “In addition to Douglas's blackmail, yes. I was a danger to the team then, and I am one now. I threaten everything you value—your jobs, your reputations, and most importantly, your relationships with each other.”

  “You failed to mention something.” Jackson paused, ensuring he had my full attention. “You, Haley. I think I speak for all of us when I say that you are important to us. More important than anything else.”

  Knox, Theo, Liam, and Chase nodded in agreement, and my heart wanted to accept what they said, but my head fought it. I'd been ruled by my emotions for so long, I needed to let logic stay in control this once.

  I toyed with the napkin in my lap, crumpling and smoothing the paper between my fingers. “Maybe I shouldn't be.” A lone tear fell down my cheek before I hastily wiped it away.

  Liam came to stand behind me, rubbing my shoulders, trying to ease the tension. “Please don't cry, gorgeous.”

  “Haley,” Jackson said, drawing my attention. “I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that it's not the rumors at work that are really bothering you. It's what they represent, and what it means going forward.”