Searching (Hidden Truths Book 1)

by Quell T Fox

  It’s welcomed.

  But the warmth I get from Thorne, it’s the only kind of warmth I’ve ever craved.

  Both of us are still lying on the hard ground, side by side, in all our naked glory. I see him out of the corner of my eye and I pay attention more than I should. He is absolutely breathtaking. Every muscle on his body is defined. From the cuts in his arms to the deep lines of his chest and abs which go all the way down to his hips. Thick, strong thighs.

  He’s perfect.

  I have so many questions rolling around in my brain, I can’t seem to pick one out to ask. And because of this, the question that comes out of my mouth is absolutely ridiculous.

  “How do you mate?” Thorne’s head slowly turns towards me, an eyebrow lifted in confusion. “That’s not what I meant to ask,” I say, sliding my hand over my face, defeated by life at this point.

  A husky chuckle sounds on the side of me. “How about we get dressed first. I’ll take you to lunch, since I know you haven’t eaten, and we can talk about it.”

  Food does sound good.

  Talking does not.

  Finding out more about what I am… does. Maybe I’ll do some listening.

  Listening I can handle.

  Thorne stands, dusting some dirt off his thighs and pulls his briefs on and then his pants. He steps over me and offers his hand. I take a second to look at him, how beautiful he is, how out of my league he is, before I allow him to help me up. Mate? I am Thorne’s mate?

  I quickly gather my clothes and get them on. His shirt is filthy from acting as my barrier to the dirt. I pick it up and offer it to him with a frown, he shoves part of it into his back pocket, letting the rest hang out and offers me his hand once again. I take it and he leads me out of the woods like he’s been here a million times and knows precisely where he is going.

  Once back at school, we go straight to his car. He opens the trunk and throws in his dirty shirt. It lands right on the side of my backpack… that he must have grabbed for me before chasing me down. He pulls another shirt out of a gym bag and pulls it over his head, sliding his arms through the sleeves and tugging it down. How watching him pull on a shirt can be so sexy, I have no idea, but it is.

  I pull out my phone as we’re driving, checking for texts I know aren’t there. I open up a chat and type out words that will never be answered.

  Me: Wish I had you here to talk to. Could really use some advice right now. Love you.

  I can picture what her response would be though. Something along the lines of me being the luckiest girl in the world to be mated to such a fine piece of ass.

  She wouldn’t be wrong, but…

  I drop my phone between my legs and rest my head back against the seat, staring out the window.

  My brain is still nagging at me, knowing Thorne wronged me. Knowing we need to talk about this, but I am so tired. I’d love nothing more than to curl up into a ball and sleep for a week. I know that isn’t a possibility, but I sure wish it were.

  We pull up to the restaurant and get out of the car. It’s a small diner right on the outskirts of town. It’s frequented by kids our age, but at this time of day it’s mostly empty.

  We take our seat in a corner booth, furthest away from the only other couple in the place. An elderly man and woman that look as if they’ve been together forever. The type of couple you know fell in love at a young age and has been happy ever since. The perfect kind of couple.

  The waitress—a short, plump lady with curly brown hair and saggy cheeks—comes by to take our drink orders and promises to be back quickly.

  I fiddle with my fingers as I wait, wanting information but not having the energy to ask for it. I wait for Thorne to speak first.

  “I guess we have a lot to talk about,” he finally says. The waitress chooses that moment to bring over our drinks. Thorne chose a Pepsi while I ordered hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a glass of lemon water.

  “Are ya’ll ready to order?” Sandy, our waitress, asks.

  I order a side of fries, but it gains me a look, so I add on a cup of chicken soup too. Thorne orders a double bacon cheeseburger with extra fries.

  “As I was saying,” he continues as the waitress walks away and disappears through the swinging doors. “We have a lot to talk about. Where do you want me to start?”

  I take a minute to think. So much in such a short amount of time. It has only been eight weeks since school started, yet so much has happened. Eight weeks. I think back to the day before school, when Lina was at my house. We were both so excited about this year. Our last year in high school, new students… how could we not be excited? But never, not even for one millisecond, did I think I would be where I am right now.

  Without her.

  “How long have you known?”

  He knows what I mean, so I don’t elaborate.

  “Since day one.” My eyes widen at that. It’s not what I was expecting. “Well, sort of. We had a feeling…”

  “We?” I ask, needing clarification, because I can’t assume who he is talking about.

  He lets out a sigh, pulling the paper off his straw and stabbing it into the soda like it’s offended him.

  “Castor, Hunter, and I are part of a coterie. It’s basically a sub-division of a large pack. We’ve been together since we were kids. Our families lost our old pack and we were accepted into another. One that is run by wolves. It’s a surprise they even took us in. Wolves don’t like to work with other animals. Anyway, we all had the feeling the first day we met you. Castor asked you questions, trying to figure out if you felt it too, and when you said you weren’t a Paranormal and kept dodging his questions, Hunter was convinced you were lying. That you were working with Julian to keep us from getting what is rightfully ours. Castor agreed. I was… wary.”

  “You mean me?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. I don’t like being referred to like an object.

  “Yes and no.” He scrubs his hands over his face and blows out a breath. “We should have been at the top of our old pack. We came into this new one, but because we don’t have a mate we aren’t even considered for the top. We have every other quality needed. The wolf pack that is in charge are a bunch of sore losers that don’t play by the rules. Castor and Hunter thought he got to you and paid you off to ignore us.” He takes a sip of his soda. “It would have to be something good, because ignoring the pull of a mate isn’t easy. We felt it, so we were sure you had as well. At your age, there isn’t any way you wouldn’t have known you were a shifter. It just didn’t make any sense.”

  “So you were sent in to spy?”

  He slowly looks up at me and he doesn’t need to speak. I know the answer.

  “It’s more than that,” he says quickly. “Yes, we needed the information, but I didn’t do it for the wrong reasons. I was… worried. I mean, how could you not know who you are?” He leans forward. “You’re my mate. I… care about you. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

  “How?” I ask rather loudly, ignoring every other word he said. As much as the I care about you part is eating at my chest, trying to reach my aching heart, I push it aside because my brain is in control right now. And that bitch is angry.

  I clear my throat, fold my hands in front of me and lean them on the table. I close my eyes for a second, trying to tame back the rage I suddenly feel. I’m usually quiet about what’s inside, but I’m tired of it. Tired of people assuming everything about me is so perfect. “Maybe because I was severely neglected when I was a child,” I begin, opening my eyes and meeting Thorne’s. “I lived in the same outfit for years, barely ate, and my house was filled with roaches and mice. My mother was a drug addict who had different men in and out of the house every night even though she had a steady boyfriend who was just as sleazy as she was. Maybe because my brother and my uncle rescued me when I was only twelve because I woke up to find my mother and my stepdad dead in their bed and I had no idea what to do. Maybe because I only just found out I’m not fully human a few wee
ks ago, yet I have no signs of what I am. I don’t feel any different. The only thing different is the knowledge. But none of it makes any sense. Oh, and don’t let me forget about the part that someone is trying to kill me. Yep. Can’t forget that part,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “Trying to… what?” he asks, he sounds both angry and scared. “You didn’t say it was that bad, you just said some things were left for you.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Who?” I lean back, my jaw clenched. I’m angry at myself for the outburst, but I’m also angry at Thorne for pushing me so far. “Please tell me.” He reaches across the table for my hand, but pauses before he touches me, asking permission. I don’t move or respond. “I want to help you. I need… please, just let me help you.”

  I look out the window, ignoring his opened hand, as hard as it is. “We aren’t sure. Callan thinks it’s the pack I come from. Probably something to do with my dad. They think I’m half wolf and that’s why they’re looking for me because—”

  “Because wolves aren’t supposed to mate outside of their species, never mind their pack.” He pulls his hand back, pressing them both flat to the table.

  “Exactly.”

  We both say nothing for a stretch. Me calming my nerves and Thorne trying to piece things together. The waitress brings over our food but I’m suddenly less hungry than I was before. Thorne looks at his food with both love and hate.

  “Look, let’s just eat and take some time to think about this, okay? I just… this is a lot to handle,” I say. He doesn’t deserve this anger from me. Some of it, yes. But all of it isn’t his fault. It’s been building up for a long time and it’s not fair of me to use him as a punching bag.

  We’re mates. Yes, he was sort of spying, but it’s more than that. So much more.

  “Okay,” he responds. “I’ll drop you off at home when we’re done.”

  “Thank you.”

  We eat our food in silence. Once I get going, I realize how hungry I was. I finish all of my food and even pick a few fries from Thorne’s plate. When we’re done, he pays the bill and brings me home as promised, dropping me off right at my door. He doesn’t leave until I’m safely inside my house. I go right upstairs and hop into the shower. As much as I love the smell of him on me, I don’t think Maddox would appreciate it. And his mouth is not something I am in the mood for tonight.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Leona

  I go downstairs for dinner after showering for thirty minutes and doing some homework. I wash up twice, just to make sure Thorne couldn’t be smelled on me. My phone dings a few times during dinner, but I don’t bother checking it. Everyone is in cheery conversation and even though I’m not participating, I’m enjoying listening. Hearing and seeing them happy, makes a small part of me happy. Even over all the anger and confusion I am feeling today. I love my family and I want only good things for them.

  “Family movie night tonight?” Lenny asks as he puts the last dish into the dishwasher.

  “I’m game,” Alec says.

  “Why not?” Callan responds.

  Friday throws up her thumb and Maddox doesn’t give his input, but we know he’ll be there.

  “Leona?”

  “I have some homework to finish—”

  “Aw, come on!” Lenny says. “You can do it later. Right?”

  “Are you guilting her into doing the wrong thing? What kind of big brother are you?” Alec says.

  “The cool kind.” He waggles his eyebrows and I laugh.

  “What movie?”

  Lenny shrugs. “Don’t know. Was gonna let the princess choose.”

  “If the answer is Shrek, then absolutely not. If it’s something different… I can squeeze it in.”

  “Then I’ll make sure Shrek goes missing.” Lenny winks at me, drying his hands on the dish towel.

  I roll my eyes. “Let me know when it’s time,” I say, rounding the corner and heading upstairs to finish homework.

  I check my phone when I get into my room.

  Thorne: I’m sorry about what I did. I hope you can understand why I had to do it.

  Thorne: I haven’t talked to Castor and Hunter yet. Waiting to hear from you first.

  Thorne: Which will hopefully be soon cause they’re blowing up my phone. I can only dodge them for so long.

  I smile to myself at the last text, thinking how annoying dealing with Castor and Hunter must be in this kind of situation. They’re difficult on a regular day.

  Me: Family movie night. Call you after.

  I plug my phone in and pull out my science book, wanting to finish the homework for that class first.

  I had less work left than I thought and finish it all before Lenny calls me down for the movie. Thankfully he kept his promise and Shrek was not an option today. Instead, Briella picked Madagascar, which I can totally get down with. David Schwimmer is one of my favorite people on the planet.

  Friday spends most of the movie walking around and feeding Milo. Briella is snuggled between Lenny and Callan. Maddox also spent a lot of time away from the movie dealing with an issue at the bar. Alec is asleep on the other couch. He was snoring before Marty was even out of the zoo.

  And this is exactly what family movie night is supposed to be, isn’t it? I realize how much better I feel, spending time with them and doing nothing. No expectations, no talking, just family being family.

  When the movie is done, Briella is knocked out too. Friday is upstairs trying to get Milo to sleep with Maddox’s help. Alec is still asleep on the couch, but Callan wakes him up while Lenny brings Briella up to her room. He comes back down a little while later while I’m rummaging around the kitchen looking for a snack. I find some ice cream and decide it’s what I want. I don’t bother asking Lenny if he wants some because I know he does. I pull another bowl from the cabinet and hand him the one topped off with caramel, whipped cream, and lots of cherries. He smiles appreciatively and gets settled at the table. When I’m done putting mine together, I sit beside him after putting the ingredients back where they belong.

  “You know if something is wrong, you can tell me. I promise not to judge,” Lenny says.

  “After the way you treated Thorne, I doubt it.”

  “Is it boy trouble? I’ll kill him if you want.” His words aren’t angry, just sincere.

  “See? How am I supposed to tell you anything when that’s what your response is?”

  He shrugs. “It’s my job.”

  “Your job is to be my brother, Lenny. Not my savior.”

  “Sometimes they’re the same thing,” he says quietly. I let those words sink in, not responding. I continue to eat my ice cream.

  “You’re right, Lenny. I’m sorry. I just—”

  “I know all this must be hard for you. I know what it feels like to not fit in. But you need to realize it’s all in here,” he points to his head. “You are a part of us, Leona. You always have been and always will be.”

  “Thorne is my mate.” I blurt the words out. Lenny freezes and slowly looks up at me. “Along with two of his friends. They all thought I was lying about being a Paranormal because I told them I wasn’t and they could feel the pull. But it was before I knew I was, so really, I wasn’t lying. Thorne was sent in to spy”—finger quotes— “kind of because they thought the Alpha of their pack had gotten to me first, to deny them of their mate. Or something like that.” I take a breath. “So much has happened over the last couple of weeks, Lenny. And I am just so tired. I am so tired.” I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to ease off a headache I feel coming on.

  Lenny stands from his chair and walks around the table. He pulls me up and into a hug. “I know you’re not big on hugs, but everyone needs one sometimes.” He lets out a quick breath. “If they really are your mates,” he takes another breath, trying to say the words he doesn’t want to say. “This is so crazy for me to say but if they really are, if they aren’t lying just to get into your pants, then we will figure this out. And this could be a good thing, Leona. As much
as I don’t want to admit it, the bond you could have with them… there is no protection like it. They’ll feel you, sense you… they’ll know when something is wrong probably before you do. It’s scary at first, but it’s amazing. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

  The tears pour out of my eyes. “I’m trying. I’m trying so hard, but I don’t think I know how.”

  The phone rings half a ring before Thorne answers.

  “Hi,” he answers in his husky voice, already knowing it’s me who is calling.

  “Hi,” I respond.

  “Look, I wish you would have told me sooner someone was after you, but I guess I can’t fault you, or even be upset. I know you mentioned a little of it before, I just didn’t think it was so serious. I would’ve… I don’t know, I would’ve done something. I’m not okay with being a hypocrite and I wasn’t very forthcoming with you. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to talk to Castor and Hunter. I think they need this information. I think it’ll… help them to get over whatever their problem is.”

  “What exactly is their problem with me?”

  “Other than thinking you were lying? Nothing.”

  “I don’t get it. Why is it so hard for them to understand?”

  He lets out a harsh breath. “We should have found our mate years ago. We are like a beacon to one another. We didn’t think it would happen for us because that happens sometimes. It’s rare, but it happens, and they don’t want to get their hopes up.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “We can talk to them. I’ll talk to them.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I was—”

  “I think I do. I need to start taking charge of something in my life. And if I am a shifter, I need to figure this situation out sooner rather than later.”

  We hang up and I get into bed. I lie awake, staring at the ceiling for a long time. Something I’ve grown accustomed to. I’m still not used to the quiet. After growing up with the city noises and the disgusting, adult noises coming from my mother’s room, the quiet is unsettling to me. I tried putting the tv on but then I get caught up in watching it and can’t sleep. Same for music. So instead, I struggle in the dark, wishing sleep would just come and take over me.