Brambleberry House

by RaeAnne Thayne

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THREE DAYS LATER, he stood on the edge of the dance floor in the elegant reception room of The Sea Urchin, doing his level best not to spend the entire evening staring at Julia like the lovesick teenager he had once been.

  He hadn’t seen her since the night they had shared together but he was quite certain he hadn’t spent more than ten minutes without thinking about her—remembering the softness of her skin, her sweet response to him, the shock that had settled in gut when she told him she loved him.

  Just now she was dancing with her son, laughing as she tried to show him the steps of the fox-trot. She looked bright and vibrant and beautiful in a lovely, flowing green dress that matched her eyes. Despite her apparent enjoyment in the evening, he was almost certain he had caught a certain sadness in her eyes whenever their gazes happened to collide, and his heart ached, knowing he had put it there.

  He couldn’t stay much longer. He was leaving in the morning and still had work to do packing and closing up his house for an indefinite time. Beyond that, it hurt more than he ever would have dreamed to keep his distance from Julia, to stand on the sidelines and watch her, knowing he could never have her.

  He needed to at least talk to Sage before he escaped, he knew. When the music ended and she returned to the edge of the dance floor on the arm of ancient Mr. Delarosa, one of Abigail’s old friends, he hurried to claim her before anyone else.

  “Have any dances left for an old friend?”

  Surprise flickered in her eyes, then she gave him a brilliant smile. “Of course!”

  He wasn’t much of a dancer but he did his best, grateful at least that it was another slow song and he wasn’t going to have to make an idiot out of himself by trying to shake and groove.

  “You make a stunning bride, kiddo,” he said when they fell into a rhythm. “Who ever would have believed it?”

  He gave an exaggerated wince when she punched him lightly in the shoulder.

  “You know I’m teasing,” he said, squeezing the fingers he held. “I’m thrilled for you and Eben, Sage. I really am. You’re a beautiful bride and it was a beautiful ceremony.”

  “It was, wasn’t it? I only wish Abigail could have been here.”

  “I don’t doubt she was, in her own way.”

  She smiled, as he intended. “I think you’re probably right. I was quite sure I smelled freesia at least once while Eben and I were exchanging our vows.”

  “I’m glad the weather held for you.” It had been a gorgeous, sunny day, warm and lovely, a rarity on the coast for October.

  “I thought for sure we were going to have to move everything inside for the ceremony but the weather couldn’t have been more perfect.”

  “That’s because Mother Nature knows she owes you big-time for all your do-gooder, save-the-world efforts. She wouldn’t dare ruin your big day with rain.”

  She laughed softly then sobered quickly. “I forgot, I’m not supposed to be speaking to you. I’m still mad at you.”

  “Don’t start, Sage. We’ve been over this. I’m going. But it’s not forever—I’ll be back.”

  “It won’t be the same.”

  “Nothing will. Look at you, Mrs. Spencer. You’re moving to San Francisco with Eben and Chloe. Things change, Sage.”

  “I’m going to miss you, darn it. You’re the big, annoying, overprotective brother I’ve always wanted, Will.”

  He was more touched than he would dare admit. “And since the day you moved in to Brambleberry House, you’ve been like a bratty little sister to me, always sure you know what’s best for everyone.”

  She made a harumph kind of sound. “That’s because I do. For instance, I am quite certain you’re making a huge mistake to leave Cannon Beach and a certain resident of Brambleberry House who shall remain nameless.”

  “Who? Conan?”

  She smacked his shoulder again. “You know who I mean. Julia.”

  He shook his head. “Leave it alone, Sage.”

  “I won’t.” She stuck her chin out with a stubbornness he should have expected, knowing Sage. “If Abigail were here, she would tell you the exact same thing. You can’t lie to me, you have feelings for Julia, don’t you?”

  “None of your business. This is a great band, by the way. Where did you find them?”

  “I didn’t, Jade Wu did. You know perfectly well she handled all the wedding details. And I won’t let you change the subject. What kind of idiot walks away from a woman as fabulous as Julia, who just happens to be crazy about him?”

  “I’m going to leave you right here in the middle of the dance floor if you don’t back off,” he warned her. Though he spoke amicably enough, he put enough steel in his voice that he hoped she got the message.

  She gave him a piercing look and then her gaze suddenly softened. “You’re as miserable as she is! You know you are.”

  He shifted his gaze to Julia, who was dancing and smiling with the owner of the bike shop—who just happened to be the biggest player in town.

  “She doesn’t look miserable to me.”

  They were several couples away from them on the dance floor, but just at that moment, her partner swung her around so she was facing him. They made eye contact and for one sizzling moment, it was as if they were alone in the room.

  He caught his breath, snared by those deep green eyes for a long moment, until her partner turned her again.

  “She does a pretty good job of hiding it, but she is,” Sage said.

  She paused, then met his gaze. “Did I ever tell you how I almost lost Eben and Chloe because I was too afraid of being hurt to let them inside my heart?”

  “I don’t think you did,” he said stiffly.

  “It’s a long story but look at the happy ending, just because I decided Eben’s love was worth far more to me than my pride. You’re the most courageous man I know, Will. You’ve walked through hell these last few years. I know that, know that you’ve endured more than anyone should have to—a pain that most of us probably couldn’t even guess at. Don’t you think you’ve been through enough? You deserve happiness. Do you really think you’re going to find it traveling around the world, leaving behind your home and everyone who loves you?”

  “I don’t know,” he said, more struck by her words than he cared to admit. “But I’m going anyway. This is your wedding day. I don’t want to fight with you about this. I appreciate your concern for me, but everything will be fine.”

  She sighed and probably would have said more but Eben came up behind them at that moment.

  “What does a guy have to do to get a dance with his bride?”

  “Just ask,” Will said. “She’s all yours.”

  He kissed Sage on the cheek and released her. “Thanks for the dance and the advice,” he said. “Congratulations again to both of you.”

  Much as he loved her, he was relieved to walk away and leave her to Eben. He didn’t need more of her lectures about how he was making a mistake to leave or her not-so-subtle hints about Julia.

  What he needed was to get out of here, and soon. He couldn’t take much more.

  He made it almost to the door when he felt a sharp tug on his jacket. He turned around and found Maddie Blair standing beside him wearing a frilly blue party dress and a blazing smile.

  His heart caught just a little but he probed around and realized he no longer had the piercing pain he used to whenever he saw Julia’s dark-haired daughter.

  “Hi,” she said.

  He forced himself to smile back. “Hi yourself.”

  “I had to tell you how much I love, love, love my dollhouse. It’s the best dollhouse in the whole world! Thank you so much!”

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Did you know it has a doorbell that really works? And it even has a s
ecret closet in the bedroom that you open a special way.”

  “I believe I did know that.”

  He had finally finished the dollhouse late into the night two days before and had dropped it off at Brambleberry House, leaving it covered with a tarp on the porch for Julia to find. He knew it was cowardly to drop it off in the middle of the night. He should have picked a time when he could help carry it up the stairs for her, but he hadn’t been able to face her.

  “I would like to dance with you,” Maddie announced, leaving him no room for arguments.

  “Um, sure,” he said, not knowing how to wiggle out of it. “I’d like that.”

  It wasn’t even a lie, he realized to his surprise. He held out his arm in a formal kind of gesture and she grinned and slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. Together they worked their way through the crowd to the dance floor.

  While they danced, Maddie kept up an endless stream of conversation during the dance—about her dolls, about how she was going to go visit Chloe in San Francisco some time, about some mischief her brother had been up to.

  He listened to her light chatter while the music poured around him, making appropriate comments whenever she stopped to take a breath.

  “You’re the best dancer I’ve danced with tonight,” she said when the song was almost at an end. “Simon stepped on my toes a million times and I think he even broke one. And Chloe’s dad wouldn’t stop looking at Sage the whole time we danced. I think that’s rude, don’t you, even if they did just get married. Grown-ups are weird.”

  Will couldn’t help it, he looked down at Maddie’s animated little face and laughed out loud.

  “You have a nice laugh,” she observed, watching him through her wise little eyes that had endured too much. “I like it.”

  “Thanks,” he answered, a little taken aback.

  “You know what?” she whispered, as if confiding state secrets, and he had to bend his head a little lower to hear her, until their faces were almost touching.

  “What?” he whispered back.

  “I like you, too.” She smiled at him, then before he realized what she intended, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

  He stared at her as her words seemed to curl through him, squeezing the air from his lungs and sending all the careful barriers he thought he had built around his heart tumbling with one big, hard shove.

  “Thanks,” he finally said around the golf ball-size lump in his throat. “I, uh, like you, too.”

  It wasn’t quite true, he realized with shock. His feelings for this little girl and her brother ran deeper than simple affection.

  He had tried so hard to keep them all at bay but somehow when he wasn’t looking, Julia’s twins had sneaked into his heart. He cared about them—Simon, with his inquisitive mind and his eagerness to please, and Maddie with her unrelenting courage and the simple joy she seized from life.

  How the hell had he let such a thing happen? He thought he had been so careful around them to keep his distance but something had gone terribly wrong.

  He remembered Maddie offering to eat her ice cream slowly so he could have a taste if he wanted, Simon talking about baseball and inviting him to watch a Mariners’ game, budding hero worship in his eyes.

  He loved Julia’s children.

  Just as he loved their mother.

  He stopped stock-still on the dance floor. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t. His gaze found Julia, standing at the refreshment table talking to Anna. She looked graceful and lovely. When she felt his gaze, she turned and gave him a tentative smile and he suddenly wanted nothing more than he wanted to yank her into his arms and carry her out of here.

  “Are you okay, Mr. Garrett?” Maddie asked.

  “I...yes. Thank you for the dance,” he said, his voice stiff.

  “You’re welcome. Will you come play Barbies with me sometime?”

  He had to get out of there, right now. The noise and the crowd were pressing in on him, suffocating him.

  “Maybe. I’ll see you later, okay?”

  She nodded and smiled, then slipped away. On his way out the door, his gaze caught Julia’s one more time and he hoped to hell the shock of his newfound feelings didn’t show in his expression.

  She gave him another tentative smile, which he acknowledged with a jerky nod, then he slipped out the door.

  He climbed into his pickup in a kind of daze and pulled out of The Sea Urchin’s parking lot in the pale twilight, not knowing where he was heading, only that he had to get away. He thought he was driving aimlessly, following the curve of the ocean, but before he quite realized it, he found himself at the small cemetery at twilight, just as the sunset turned the waves a soft, pale blue.

  He parked outside the gates, knowing he didn’t have long since the cemetery was supposed to be closed after dark. Leaves crunched underfoot as he followed the familiar path, listening to the quiet reverence of the place.

  He stopped at his father’s grave first, under the spreading boughs of a huge, majestic oak tree. It was a fitting resting place for a man who could work such magic with his hands and a piece of wood. He stopped, head bowed, remembering the many lessons he had learned from his father. Work hard, play hard, cherish your family.

  Not a bad mantra for a man to follow.

  After long moments, he let out a breath and walked over a small hill to Abigail’s grave, decorated with many tokens of affection. Sage had left her a wedding invitation, he saw, and a flower from her bouquet, and Will couldn’t help smiling.

  He saved the toughest for last. With emotion churning through him, he followed the trail around another curve, almost to the edge by the fence, where two simple headstones marked Robin’s and Cara’s graves.

  He hadn’t been here in a few months, he realized with some shock. Right after the accident he used to come here every day, sometimes twice a day. He had hated it, but he had come. Those visits had dwindled but he had always tried to come at least once a week to bring his wife whatever flowers were in season.

  Like Abigail, Robin had loved flowers.

  Guilt coursed through him as he realized how he had neglected his responsibilities.

  He rounded the last corner and there they were, silhouetted in the dying sun. Two simple markers—Robin Cramer Garrett, beloved wife. Cara Robin Garrett, cherished daughter.

  Emotions clogged his throat. Oh, he missed them. He walked closer, then he blinked in shock, certain the dusky twilight must be playing tricks with his eyesight.

  A few weeks after the accident, Abigail had asked him if she could plant a rosebush between Robin’s and Cara’s graves. He had been wild with grief, inconsolable, and wouldn’t have cared whether she planted a whole damn flower garden, so he had given his consent.

  He hadn’t paid it much attention, other than to note a few times in the summer that if she had still been alive, Abigail would have been devastated to know she must have planted a sterile bush. He hadn’t seen a single bloom on it in two years.

  Now, though, as he stood in the cool October air, he stared in shock at the rosebush. It was covered in flowers—hundreds of them, in a rich, vibrant yellow.

  This couldn’t be right. He didn’t know a hell of a lot about horticulture but he was fairly certain roses bloomed in summer. It was mid-October now, and had been colder than usual the last few weeks, rainy and dank.

  It made absolutely no sense but he couldn’t ignore the evidence in front of him. Abigail’s roses were sending their lush, sweet fragrance into the air, stirring gently in a soft breeze.

  Let go, Will. Life moves on.

  He could almost swear he heard Abigail’s words on the breeze, her voice as brisk and no-nonsense as always.

  He sank down onto the wooden bench he had built and stared at the flower-heavy boughs, softly caressing the marble marke
rs.

  Let go.

  His breathing ragged, he gazed at the flowers, stunned by the emotion pouring through him like a cleansing, healing rainstorm, something he hadn’t known since his family was taken from him with such sudden cruelty.

  Hope.

  It was hope.

  These roses seemed a perfect symbol of it, a precious gift Abigail had left behind just for him, as if she knew that somehow he would need to see those blossoms at exactly this moment in his life to remind him of things he had lost along the way.

  Hope, faith. Love.

  Life moves on.

  Whether he was ready for it or not, he loved Julia Blair and her children. They had showed him that his life was not over, that if he could only find the courage, his future didn’t have to be this grim, empty existence.

  She had roared back into his life like a hurricane, blowing away all the shadows and darkness, the bone-deep misery that had been his companion for two years.

  He couldn’t say the idea of loving her and her kids still didn’t scare the hell out of him. He had already lost more than he could bear. But the idea of living without them—of going back to his gray and cheerless life—scared him more.

  He sat on the bench for a long time while the cemetery darkened and the roses danced and swayed in the breeze, surrounding him with their sweet perfume.

  When at last he stood up, his cheeks were wet but his heart felt a million times lighter. He headed for the cemetery gates, with only one destination in mind.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “MAMA, I JUST love weddings.” Though she was drooping with fatigue, Maddie’s eyes were bright as Julia helped her out of her organza dress.

  “It was lovely, wasn’t it?”

  “Sage was so pretty in her dress. She looked like an angel. And Chloe did a good job throwing the flower petals, didn’t she? She didn’t even look one bit nervous!”