Chocolate Cream Pie Murder

by Joanne Fluke

  Haltingly at first, and then with more assurance, Hannah described what had happened on the day Ross left. The words were painful at first, but it became easier until all the facts had been given.

  “Did Ross leave you a note?” Irma York, the wife of Lake Eden’s barber, asked.

  “No, there was nothing. His car was still there, his billfold was on top of the dresser, where he always left it when he came home from work, and he’d even left his driver’s license and credit cards. It was almost as if he’d packed up his clothes and . . . and vanished. ”

  “You must have been very worried,” Reverend Bob said sympathetically.

  “Not at first. I was upset that he hadn’t called me to say he was leaving, but I thought that he had been rushed for time and he’d call me that night. Then, when I didn’t hear from him that night or the next day, I got worried.”

  “Of course you did!” Grandma Knudson, Reverend Bob’s grandmother and the unofficial matriarch of the church, said with a nod.

  “After three days,” Hannah continued, “I was afraid that something was very wrong and I asked Mike and Norman to help me look for Ross.”

  Mike stood up to address the congregation. “It took us weeks of searching, but two of my detectives finally found Ross. Right after I verified his identity, Norman and I went to Hannah’s condo to tell her.” He turned around to face Hannah. “Go on, Hannah.”

  “Yes,” Hannah said, gathering herself for the most difficult part of her apology. “When I came home that night, Mike and Norman were waiting for me. Both of them looked very serious and I knew right away that something was wrong. That’s when Mike said that they’d found Ross, and . . .” Hannah stopped speaking and drew a deep, steadying breath. “Mike told me that Ross had gone back to his wife.”

  “His wife?” Grandma Knudson looked completely shocked. “But you’re his wife, Hannah! We were all right here when you married Ross!”

  There was a chorus of startled exclamations from the congregation. Hannah waited until everyone was quiet again and then she continued. “Ross was already married when he married me. And that means my marriage to him wasn’t legal.”

  “You poor dear!” Grandma Knudson got up from her place of honor in the first pew and rushed up to put her arm around Hannah. Then she motioned to her grandson. “Give me your handkerchief, Bob.”

  Once the handkerchief was handed over, Grandma Knudson passed it to Hannah. “What are you going to do about this, Hannah?”

  “I . . . I don’t know,” Hannah admitted truthfully. “I just wanted to tell all of you about this today because my family and I lied to you and we needed to set the record straight.”

  “Hannah could sue Ross for bigamy,” Howie pointed out. “And since bigamy is a crime, Ross could be prosecuted. Do you want to press charges, Hannah?”

  “I’m not sure. All I really know is that I never want to see him again.” There was a murmuring of sympathy from the congregation as Hannah dabbed at her eyes with the borrowed handkerchief. “I know all of you thought I was married. I thought I was married, too, but . . . but I wasn’t. And since you gave me wedding presents under false pretenses, I’d like to return them to you.”

  “Ridiculous!” Grandma Knudson snorted, patting Hannah’s shoulder. And then she turned to face the worshippers. “You don’t want your wedding gifts back, do you?”

  “I don’t!” Becky Summers was the first to respond. “Keep the silver platter, Hannah. Consider it an early birthday present.”

  “The same for me!” Norman’s mother chimed in. “You keep the crystal pitcher, Hannah.”

  Several other members of the congregation spoke up, all of them expressing the same wishes, and then Grandma Knudson held up her hand for silence. “If anyone here wants a wedding gift back, contact me and I’ll make sure you get it. And in the meantime, I think we’ve kept Hannah up here long enough.” She turned to Hannah. “I know you brought something for our social hour, Hannah. I saw Michelle run down the stairs with a big platter. What wonderful baked goods did you bring today?”

  Hannah felt a great weight slip off her shoulders. It was over. She’d come and accomplished what she’d set out to do. Now she could relax and spend a little time with the people she knew and loved.

  “I brought Valentine Whippersnapper Cookies,” she told them. “They’re a new cookie recipe from my sister Andrea. Since we’re about ready to start baking for Valentine’s Day at The Cookie Jar, Andrea and I really want your opinion. Please try a cookie and tell us what you think of them.”

  Grandma Knudson turned to the congregation. “I’ll lead you downstairs so you can start in on those cookies. And then I’m coming back up here for a private word with Hannah.” She took Hannah’s arm, led her to the front pew, and motioned to her to sit down. “I’ll be right back,” she said. “Just sit here and relax for a few moments.”

  Hannah watched as the church emptied out with Grandma Knudson leading the way. Then she closed her eyes for a moment and relished the fact that the tension was leaving her body. She felt good, better than she had for a long time. Perhaps Reverend Bob was right and confession was good for the soul.

  Hannah turned around when she heard the sound of footsteps. Grandma Knudson was coming back. “Thank you,” she said, as Grandma Knudson sat down next to her.

  “You’re welcome. I heard some very interesting things down there, Hannah. I’m really glad I got those fancy new hearing aids.”

  “I didn’t know you had hearing aids!”

  “Neither does anyone else except Bob, and I swore him to secrecy. I’ve changed my opinion about a lot of people in this town. Why, the things I’ve heard could fill a gossip column!”

  “But you wouldn’t . . .”

  “Of course not!” Grandma Knudson said emphatically. “But I may not tell anyone about my hearing aids for a while. It’s a lot of fun for me.”

  Hannah gave a little laugh. It felt wonderful to laugh and she was grateful to Grandma Knudson for giving her the opportunity.

  “Seriously, Hannah,” Grandma Knudson began, “you haven’t heard from Ross since Mike and his boys located him, have you?”

  Hannah shook her head. “No, not a word.”

  “All right then. If Ross calls you, tell him that if he knows what’s good for him, he’d better never show his face in Lake Eden again. I heard Earl say he wanted to run Ross down with the county snowplow, and Bud Hauge asked Mike and Lonnie to give him five minutes alone with Ross if they picked him up. And Hal McDermott claimed he was going to leave out Rose’s heaviest frying pan so he could bash in Ross’s head.”

  Hannah was shocked. “But do you think they’d actually do it?”

  Grandma Knudson shrugged. “If I were Ross, I wouldn’t chance it. And I can tell you one thing for sure. If Ross comes back and winds up dead, you’re going to have a whole town full of suspects!”

  VALENTINE WHIPPERSNAPPER COOKIES

  DO NOT preheat your oven yet. This dough needs to chill before baking.

  1 cup pecans (buy the bits and pieces of pecan— they’re cheaper than pecan halves)

  ½ cup cherry jam (I used Smucker’s)

  1 box (approximately 18 ounces) Cherry Chip cake mix, the kind that makes a 9-inch by 13-inch cake (I used Betty Crocker)

  1 large egg, beaten (just whip it up in a glass with a fork)

  ¼ cup cherry liqueur (I used cherry herring—substitute cherry juice if you’d rather)

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  ½ teaspoon cherry extract (substitute vanilla extract if you don’t have cherry)

  2 cups Original Cool Whip, thawed (measure this— a tub of Cool Whip contains a little over 3 cups and that’s too much!)

  ½ cup powdered (confectioners’) sugar (you don’t have to sift it unless it’s old and has big lumps)

  Small jar of maraschino cherries, drained and cut in half vertically (optional for decorating your cookies)

  Hannah’s 1st Note: If you live in an area where Bet
ty Crocker Cherry Chip cake mix is difficult to find, you can use white cake mix with a half-cup of white chocolate or vanilla chips chopped up in it. (Just put the chips in the food processor with a steel blade and process them until they’re in small pieces.)

  Use a food processor with the steel blade to chop the pecans into small pieces. (If you used white cake mix, you can chop up the white chocolate chips with the pecans.)

  Transfer the contents of the food processor to a small bowl.

  Put the cherry jam in the food processor. (You don’t need to wash it out—you’ll be adding the cherry jam to the pecans anyway.)

  Process with the steel blade until the jam is smooth.

  Add the jam to the pecans in the smaller bowl on the counter.

  Pour HALF of the dry cake mix into a large mixing bowl.

  Add your beaten egg to the large mixing bowl and stir it in.

  Add the contents of the small bowl to your large mixing bowl and mix them in with a rubber spatula.

  Rinse out the smaller bowl, dry it with a paper towel, and pour in the cherry liqueur.

  Add the vanilla extract and the cherry extract.

  Stir to combine contents of the smaller bowl thoroughly.

  Measure the Cool Whip and add it to the smaller bowl.

  Stir gently with a rubber spatula until everything in the smaller bowl is combined. Be very careful not to stir too vigorously. You don’t want to stir all the air out of the Cool Whip.

  Add the contents of the small bowl to the large mixing bowl with the cake mix.

  STIR VERY CAREFULLY with the rubber spatula. Stir ONLY until everything is combined. Be very careful not to over-stir.

  Sprinkle in the rest of the cake mix and gently fold everything together with the rubber spatula. Again, keep as much air in the batter as possible. Air is what will make your cookies soft and give them a melt-in-your-mouth quality.

  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill the cookie dough for at least 1 hour in the refrigerator. It’s a little too sticky to form into balls without chilling it first.

  When your cookie dough has chilled and you’re ready to bake, preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. and make sure the rack is in the middle position. DO NOT take your chilled cookie dough out of the refrigerator until after your oven has reached the proper temperature.

  While your oven is preheating, prepare your cookie sheets by spraying them with Pam or another nonstick baking spray, or lining them with parchment paper.

  Place the powdered sugar in a small, shallow bowl. You will be dropping cookie dough into this bowl to form dough balls and coating the balls with the powdered sugar.

  When your oven is ready, take your dough out of the refrigerator. Using a teaspoon from your silverware drawer, drop the dough by rounded teaspoonful into the bowl with the powdered sugar. Roll the dough around with your fingers to form powdered sugar-coated cookie dough balls.

  Hannah’s 2nd Note: Work with only one cookie dough ball at a time. If you drop more than one in the bowl of powdered sugar, they’ll stick together. Also, make only as many cookie dough balls as you can bake at one time. Cover the remaining dough and return it to the refrigerator until you’re ready to bake more.

  Place the coated cookie dough balls on your prepared cookie sheets, no more than 12 cookies to a standard-size sheet.

  Hannah’s 3rd Note: If you coat your fingers with powdered sugar first and then try to form the cookie dough into balls, it’s a lot easier to accomplish.

  If you decide you want to decorate your cookies, press half of a maraschino cherry, rounded side up, on top of each cookie before you bake them. Alternatively, you can decorate them with candy hearts or any other Valentine candy. For Valentine’s Day, Andrea uses the little hearts with sayings printed on them or the red gelatin hearts with sugar on the top.

  Bake your Valentine Whippersnapper Cookies at 350 degrees F. for 10 minutes. Let them cool on the cookie sheet for 2 minutes and then move them to a wire rack to cool completely. (This is a lot easier if you line your cookie sheets with parchment paper—then you don’t need to lift the cookies one by one. All you have to do is grab one end of the parchment paper and pull it, cookies and all, onto the wire rack.)

  Once the cookies are completely cool, store them between sheets of waxed paper in a cool, dry place. (Your refrigerator is cool, but it’s definitely not dry!)

  Yield: 3 to 4 dozen soft, delicious cookies that taste a bit like macaroons but are much easier to eat.

  Chapter Two

  More parishioners stayed for the social hour than anyone expected. Most of them wanted to reassure Hannah that they weren’t angry she’d misled them about Ross’s absence. There were also plenty of favorable compliments about the Valentine Whippersnapper Cookies that Hannah had brought. Andrea, who was sitting next to Hannah at one of the long tables, looked delighted to take credit for creating the recipe.

  Hannah smiled as Del Woodley, the head of DelRay Manufacturing, came up to greet her. “Hi, Del. How’s everything with you?”

  “Good.” Del gave a quick nod. “Benton and I listened to what you had to say, Hannah, and I just want to tell you that if Ross ever shows his lying face in Lake Eden again, Benton and I want you to call us. We’ll be glad to take care of that lowlife for you!”

  There was a determined expression on Del’s face, and Hannah gave a little shiver. It was clear that he was serious. Del had a reputation for being tough in his business dealings, and Hannah had no doubt that he could also be tough when it came to something personal.

  “Thank you, Del,” she said, trying to think of some way to accept his sentiment without actually accepting what she thought he was proposing. “It makes me feel better just to know that I can count on you and Benton.”

  “Don’t forget that we’ll be there if you need us.”

  “I won’t forget,” Hannah promised.

  The next people to arrive at Hannah’s table were Lisa and Herb Beeseman. Lisa was Hannah’s business partner at The Cookie Jar, and Herb was Lake Eden’s marshal in charge of local security and parking enforcement.

  “Lisa!” Hannah was surprised to see her. “I thought this was your week at St. Jude’s.”

  “It is,” Herb explained, “but when Lisa found out that you planned to address the congregation here, we decided to go Lutheran two weeks in a row and Catholic for the next two weeks.”

  Hannah smiled at her partner. Since Lisa’s family was Catholic and Herb’s family was Lutheran, Lisa and Herb had worked out a plan even before they were married. The whole family would spend one Sunday at Lisa’s church, St. Jude, and the next week at Herb’s church. Since Herb’s mother, Marge, had married Lisa’s father, Jack, this worked out well for both families.

  Herb cleared his throat and leaned close to give Hannah a piece of paper. “Here’s my cell number, Hannah. Call me if Ross ever bothers you again and I’ll take care of him for you.”

  “And I’ll help!” Lisa said with a frown. “Herb and I talked about it last night and I’m already on the lookout for him at The Cookie Jar.”

  “Thank you,” Hannah said, tucking the number in her purse, “but I really doubt he’ll come back to Lake Eden again. He must know that there’s nothing for him here.”

  Lisa did not look convinced. “Maybe, but it never hurts to be prepared. Herb and I worked out a plan. If he sees Ross, he’s going to stop him for some trumped-up traffic violation and give you time to make yourself scarce.”

  Once Lisa and Herb had left, Lisa’s Aunt Nancy bustled up to the table. She was wearing the lovely engagement ring that Heiti had given her at Christmas. “Hello, Hannah,” she said. “I thought your speech went very well. I watched everyone’s reaction, and there isn’t a single person here who’s not completely on your side. Ross is a rat and he doesn’t deserve a wonderful person like you.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah could tell that Aunt Nancy had rehearsed what she planned to say because she’d blurted it out rapid-fire. “Lisa told me that you’
re working on a new cookie recipe for me.”

  “That’s right. I’m going to bake them again tonight and I’ll bring some in tomorrow morning. They’ll be perfect for Valentine’s Day.”

  “Hannah, I need a private moment with you please.”

  Hannah turned to the man who had come up behind Aunt Nancy. There was no mistaking the authoritarian voice or the imposing figure of Mayor Bascomb.

  “Yes, Mayor Bascomb?” she greeted him once Aunt Nancy had hurried off.

  “You have no need to worry about Ross coming back to Lake Eden. He won’t get more than a block inside the city limits before he’s ticketed and arrested.”

  “Ticketed for what?” Hannah asked him.

  “We’ll start with a parking ticket and go on to failure to stop at a stop sign. And if he goes past Jordan High, we’ll nail him for speeding through a school zone.” Mayor Bascomb looked proud of himself for citing all these violations. “We don’t want liars like Ross Barton in our midst. I’ve ordered Marshal Beeseman to pick him up if he comes back. That’ll give you plenty of time to take cover.”

  Take cover? Hannah almost asked, but she quickly thought better of the idea. It was quite obvious that Mayor Bascomb had been watching late-night war movies again.