Witch Is When Stuff Got Serious (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 11)

by Adele Abbott

“It’s not on!” Amber protested.

  “It shouldn’t be allowed!” Pearl said.

  “Sorry, girls. It’s only the one muffin. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

  “We’re not talking about you,” Amber said.

  “Yeah, we’re used to your thieving ways.” Pearl managed a half-smile.

  “What’s wrong, then?”

  “What do you think? Miles Best.”

  “Don’t mention that man to me!” I said.

  The twins seemed taken aback by my reaction.

  “What’s he done to you?” Pearl asked.

  “I’ll tell you in a minute. First, what’s he done to upset the two of you, this time?”

  “It’s just not fair,” Amber said. “He comes out smelling of roses every time.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Look over there.” She pointed across the road. Best Cakes was full of customers; in stark contrast to Cuppy C.

  “It’s all the publicity from the clown infestation.” Pearl sighed. “It worked wonders for his business, so now they have a different circus theme every day.”

  “Oh dear. Your revenge kind of backfired, didn’t it?”

  “No need to rub it in,” Amber said. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  “What theme is it today? I can’t see from here.”

  “I sneaked over there earlier,” Pearl said. “It’s tightrope walker day. There are two of them. One in the cake shop, and one in the tea room. It seems to be very popular; the place is buzzing.”

  “How are you going to compete with that?” I asked.

  “Don’t worry, Jill.” Pearl smiled. “We have a cunning plan.”

  Oh dear.

  “We’re going to host a different craft exhibition each day.”

  Underwhelmed didn’t cover it.

  “That’s not quite as exciting as circus acts though, is it?”

  “Of course it is.” Amber insisted. “We’ve got the first one lined up already: pottery.”

  “Pottery? He’s got clowns, fire eaters and tightrope walkers—and you’ve got pottery?”

  “It’ll be great,” Pearl said.

  “Yeah, can’t wait.” Yawn.

  “So, what has Miles done to upset you, Jill?” Amber said.

  “He’s only gone and set up in competition with me, as a private investigator.”

  “In Washbridge?”

  “Yeah, he’s calling himself Best P.I. Services. First, he targets you with Best Cakes, then he targets Grandma with Best Wool, and now he has the audacity to target me with Best P.I. Services! You should see the ads he’s running. He had a full-page advert in The Bugle. And he had people standing outside my office, handing out fliers.”

  “The cheek of the man!” Pearl shook her head.

  “You haven’t heard the best, yet. He’s also running adverts on Radio Washbridge. All of his ads say the same thing: ‘Don’t settle for Gooder, get the Best’.”

  “That is funny.” Pearl laughed.

  “No, it isn’t!”

  “Sorry, you’re right. It isn’t. Not at all.”

  “What are you going to do about it?” Amber asked.

  “I went to see him. He has a really posh office in the centre of town. I don’t know how long he’ll be able to pay for that. And, he’ll get no change out of Jack Maxwell. Jack can’t stand private investigators. When he first came here, he made it very difficult for me, but now he and I have an understanding.”

  “Hmm, so I heard.” Amber grinned.

  “Not that kind of understanding. Jack respects me as a professional. He knows that I want to work with him. Miles Best would have to work very hard to earn that kind of respect. I can’t see him doing that. I give him three months at the most.”

  “Well?” Grandma came bursting through the doors—she was waving something in her hand. “Let’s hear it?”

  I glanced around, wondering who she was talking to. Somehow the twins had disappeared; they were probably hiding behind the counter.

  “Are you talking to me, Grandma?”

  “Of course I’m talking to you!” She was holding a newspaper, which she spread out on the nearest table. “Notice anything missing?”

  It took me a few moments to realise what she was referring to, but then I spotted the photograph.

  Oh bum!

  “I’m so sorry, Grandma. I forgot all about it.”

  “How many times did I remind you about the Compass team photograph?”

  “I—err.”

  “Ten, that’s how many.”

  That was an outright lie, but now wasn’t the time to correct her.

  “I’m sorry. I was so busy, I totally forgot.”

  “You made me look a fool.” Her wart was already at DefCon two.

  “I’m really, really sorry.”

  “I don’t know why I bother!” She turned and stormed out.

  “Forget something, Jill?” Amber poked her head above the counter.

  “Say cheese.” Pearl giggled.

  I threw what was left of my muffin at them.

  ***

  I don’t know why I allowed myself to get involved; I should have kept my nose out. Call me a big softy, but I couldn’t bear to think of Bella cheating on Winky. Now, it’s true that Winky had his shortcomings—if you have a couple of days free sometime, I’ll list them all—but I’d take him any day of the week over his brother, Socks. What a despicable character he’d turned out to be.

  I had thought that my little chat with Socks had warned him off, but it was obvious that he’d taken no notice whatsoever. Enough was enough. I had to put an end to this, but I was going to need proof because Winky thought the sun shone out of Socks’—you get my drift. Winky wasn’t simply going to take my word for it that his brother was seeing Bella. He’d think I was crazy or that I was making it up just to get rid of Socks. I needed photographic evidence of the two of them together.

  I couldn’t let Winky know what I was up to, so every now and then, I would walk nonchalantly over to the window, and pretend to look out at the street below.

  “What’s up with you, today?” he said.

  “Nothing, why?”

  “That’s the tenth time you’ve been to that window in the last two hours.”

  I shrugged.

  “You’re up to something. You never look out the window.”

  “I just realised that I don’t appreciate this view enough.”

  “What view? There is no view. You’re cracking up, if you ask me.”

  I ignored his remark, and continued to make regular checks to see if Bella was in her window, and more specifically, if Socks was with her.

  Eventually, I struck lucky. The two of them were sidling up to one another in the window opposite. Luckily, Winky hadn’t seen them; he was fast asleep. This was my opportunity.

  I sneaked out of the room as quietly as I could. I didn’t want to risk waking him.

  “I’m nipping out for a few minutes, Mrs V.”

  “Okay, dear.”

  “Don’t go into my office. Winky is asleep, and I wouldn’t want you to wake him.”

  She gave me a puzzled look. “Okay, Jill, but it’s not as though I ever go in there willingly. The less contact I have with that stupid cat, the better.”

  I hurried outside, and across the road to the building where Bella lived. The last time I’d been there was to drop flowers off for her birthday. This time, I actually needed to get inside if I was going to get my photograph.

  I knocked on the door, and immediately made myself invisible.

  “Hello? Hello?” The man who came to the door looked understandably confused.

  When he stepped out into the corridor, I slipped past him. Once inside, I quickly found the room where Bella and Socks were still smooching in the windowsill. Although I was angry primarily with Socks, Bella was just as much to blame. She should be ashamed of herself for two-timing Winky like that.

  I took out my phone, and snapped a coup
le of photos of them, and then made my way out. I knocked on the door again—from the inside this time. The man re-appeared—chuntering to himself.

  “Those stupid kids are at it again. I should call the police on them.”

  When he opened the door, I once again slipped past him, and made my getaway.

  I now had the evidence I needed, but how was I going to break it to Winky? I’d sleep on it, and then pick my moment the following day.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, I still wasn’t feeling any better about what I had to do. Not only was this going to ruin Winky’s relationship with his brother, but it would probably also signal the end for him and Bella.

  “By the way.” Winky jumped onto my desk. “Did I mention that Socks is going to be staying for another two weeks?”

  “No, you didn’t. I’m sorry, but that’s not convenient.”

  “But you can’t send my bro away. It’s not like he visits very often.”

  “Too often,” I said under my breath.

  “Pardon?”

  “I can’t have two cats in the office. It’s bad enough with one.”

  “What am I meant to do for company? I’m by myself all the time. I never see another cat.”

  Was that a violin I could hear?

  “Do me a favour. You run the semaphore classes. You get to see plenty of other cats at those. And it isn’t all that long ago since you were posing as Madame Winkesca, and fleecing cats out of their—I mean, telling their fortunes. You see plenty of cats.”

  “But they’re not family. Socks is the only family I have now. Surely you understand that. I know how important family is to you.”

  “Trust me, Winky, you’re better off without him.”

  “How can you say that about my bro? I don’t insult your sister, and she’s always coming around here. It’s only for another two weeks.”

  “Winky, I didn’t want to tell you this, but—”

  “But what? What lame excuse are you going to come up with now?”

  “If I tell you, you have to promise not to get upset.”

  “Upset about what? You’re talking in riddles as per usual.”

  “Socks has been seeing Bella.”

  He laughed. “Is that the best you can come up with? Really, Jill, I’m disappointed in you. Of all the lies you could have dreamed up to try to persuade me to get rid of Socks, you thought I’d believe that load of old rubbish? Bella and I are an item. She only has eyes for me, and besides, my bro would never do something like that to me.”

  I held out my smartphone.

  “What’s that?”

  “Take a look.”

  Winky stared in disbelief.

  “I’m sorry, Winky, I really didn’t want to show you.”

  “I’m going to kill him.”

  “There’s no need for violence.”

  “He’s a dead cat walking.”

  “You mustn’t overreact.”

  “When did you take these photos?”

  “Yesterday.”

  “And you’ve only just told me?”

  “I was waiting for the right moment.”

  “Where is he now?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Is he with Bella?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t seen either of them this morning.”

  “I’m going over there.”

  “No, you mustn’t. If you make a scene, Bella’s owners will call the cat pound, and you’ll be locked up. Wait until he comes back, and then have a quiet word.”

  “A quiet word? Are you kidding? There’ll be no words of the quiet variety. When he gets back here, he’ll wish he’d never been born.”

  Oh bum!

  ***

  I was still mulling over the CCTV coverage. Although Simon Saize had identified the image of the person who had stayed behind in the library, it hadn’t helped. The hat and sunglasses had meant it was impossible to identify the individual.

  But then, something occurred to me. Simon had studied the CCTV between the time the doors opened, and the time they were locked again. What about the period of time after the doors were locked? The murderer must have made her getaway somehow, otherwise the police would have found her when they took Mad in for questioning.

  I contacted Simon to ask if I could take one last look at the footage. He agreed, so I went straight over there. After he’d set me up in the same room as on my previous visit, I fast-forwarded to the point where the doors were locked. Nothing happened for a while, but then suddenly the flashing lights of a police vehicle were visible. The library doors opened—I assumed Mad must have unlocked them—and the police went inside. A few moments later, someone else left the building. It was a paramedic.

  Hold on. How was that possible? There’d been no sign of the paramedics arriving. I went to get Simon, and asked if he could zoom in on the paramedic, so I could get a closer look. He did, but it was hopeless; the picture was too fuzzy to see any detail. I was pretty sure it was a woman though. She was the same height and build as the person who had stayed behind. Now, at least, I knew how she’d made her getaway. She must have changed into the paramedic’s uniform after she’d murdered Anita Pick, and waited until the emergency services arrived. Then, she was able to walk casually out of the building—no one would have thought to question a paramedic.

  Now, everything made sense.

  I drove to Anita Pick’s house, and went next door.

  The dogs were barking, but they were locked in the back yard, so I wasn’t worried. Roxy Blackwall answered the door.

  “You again? More questions?”

  “A few, yes. How long have you been on the organising committee of the Carnation Foundation?”

  “Three years. They do an excellent job. Anything to do with dogs, and you can count me in. How did you know?”

  “I’ve been doing some checking into the foundation. I was particularly interested in the fundraising evening they held the other night. I imagine you’re able to get hold of extra invitations to those sorts of events?”

  “Yes, a few.”

  “And I assume you passed two of those invitations on to your neighbour, and her colleague from the library?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t give Anita Pick the time of day, let alone an invitation to a fundraiser.”

  “I think you did. You probably told her it was a peace offering, but really you still wanted revenge for Jo Jo. And how better to cover your tracks, than to frame someone else for the murder? The ideal candidate was Anita’s colleague, Madeline Lane—the woman who’d had the audacity to throw you out of the library. You got to kill two birds with one stone. I don’t imagine it was difficult for you to take Madeline’s steak knife. She wouldn’t have noticed because she’d finished her meal. Where did you hide after the library had closed? In one of the store cupboards? Is that where you got changed into your uniform after you’d killed Anita?”

  “Jo Jo was my favourite. I’d had her since she was a pup.”

  “Anita didn’t poison your dog.”

  “Of course she did.”

  “Look at this.” I passed her the newspaper, which I’d brought from The Bugle archives. “There was a spate of dog poisonings around that time. All of them Irish setters. They caught the guy who was doing it not long after Jo Jo was killed.”

  Roxy began to read the article.

  “I had no idea.” The colour drained from her face, and she dropped the newspaper. “I swear I had no idea.”

  “Didn’t you get a visit from a uniformed police officer?”

  “No. Like I said, the police weren’t interested.”

  “I think they will be now.”

  I made a call to Jack Maxwell.

  ***

  Ever since my night out with Mad, something had been playing on my mind, and try as I might, I couldn’t shake it.

  On that night, I’d left the club earlier than Mad. It had been pouring with rain, and I’d been contemplating whe
ther to go back inside, or go to the high street to try to get a taxi. When Drake had pulled up, I’d been delighted to see him, but I couldn’t understand what he was doing there in the early hours of the morning. When I’d asked, he’d said he’d been at some business function or other, but what kind of business function goes on until that time in the morning? And, why was he on that particular road? The thing which was really nagging at me was that he’d taken me straight home without ever asking where I lived. As far as I could recall, I’d never told him my address.

  It probably didn’t mean anything. I was almost certain it was nothing, but I’m a private investigator, and I’m paid to be curious, so I decided to take a look around his flat. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was looking for.

  I knew that Grandma had a set of keys to his flat, which she kept in the back office of Ever. She didn’t know I knew, but I don’t miss a thing. Like I said, I’m a P.I.

  I had to wait until Grandma wasn’t around, so I asked Kathy to give me a call when she’d gone out. Of course, Kathy had wanted to know why, so I’d fed her a line about organising a surprise birthday party. On reflection, that had been a mistake because Kathy would no doubt be hankering after an invitation.

  When I got Kathy’s call, I hurried down there.

  “When is this party?” Kathy asked as soon as she saw me.

  Thank goodness for the ‘forget’ spell.

  I hurried to the back office, grabbed the key off the hook, and made my way up the side stairs to Drake’s apartment. What exactly was I looking for? I had absolutely no idea.

  As I let myself in, something Grandma had said came back to me. I’d accused her of carrying out surveillance on the flat to keep an eye on me, but she’d insisted it wasn’t about me; it was about Drake. She’d asked what I knew about him. The truth was, I knew very little about him. I didn’t even know what line of business he was in. Maybe, I’d be able to find something which would fill in the gaps.

  I started in the bedroom, and pulled open the drawer of one of two identical bedside cabinets. It was empty. The drawer below was also empty. As were the other two. I walked around the bed, and checked the matching bedside cabinet. Again, all of the drawers were empty. I tried the wardrobe. Empty! It was the same story in the living room. Twenty minutes later, I’d covered the whole flat.