by Brinda Berry
For some reason, I don’t expect the question. Most people ask about my songwriting and which songs are mine. They ask if I have hits done by famous people.
Most people ask about Jared if they realize I know him.
“Ryder.” I tuck my head down and can’t stop the grin tugging at my mouth. That kid is my savior and my heart beats for him. “He’s sweet and stubborn. He likes to wake to the sound of his favorite television shows. He loves doing things with his hands—building blocks, coloring, car tracks. And he’s so dang smart. He does things way beyond what the books say a three-year-old should be able to do.”
My face grows hot. I’ve gotten carried away talking. I peer at him to see if he looks bored. There is that smile again.
“Is he musical like you?” he asks.
I laugh. “He sings a lot. Sometimes he sings words that don’t make sense, but yes, I guess he is.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. With you as his mom, musical talent is in his genes.”
“Well, thanks.” I falter, not knowing how to do this. I haven’t had anyone interested in what I have to say for a long time.
We walk in silence back to Angel’s Haven. Once inside, I lead the way to the breakroom in the back. It’s actually an oversize storage area with a portable card table pushed against one wall. We sit across from each other and unpack our lunches from Morty’s truck.
The buzz of an overhead florescent light serves as background noise to the sounds of rustling foil and paper. Some female laughter causes me to look toward the door. “Spirits are high today. Sometimes, it’s sad around here during the holidays.”
“That’s understandable.” Aiden nods and bites into his meatball sandwich. He finishes chewing and grins. “My spirits are good. I just got engaged.”
I take a bite of my food and shake my head at him.
“I owe you,” he mutters and opens a package of catsup. “When can you go with me to visit? Tonight?”
“I can’t,” I answer. “I work here all day and then I’ll have Ryder tonight. I don’t think I should bring him. I’ll ask my mom if she’ll babysit. Maybe tomorrow night? Send me a text and we can arrange a time.”
Grabbing a napkin and a pen, I jot down my number. “Here you go.”
He pushes his catsup to the middle to share and I drag a french fry through it. Capturing my hand, he bends toward me. “OK. That’ll be great. I’m serious. I owe you big time. Anything you need or want, ask and it’s yours. I mean anything.”
You. I’d love to have a sweet guy like you to call my own. Someone to talk with about my day. Someone who would make me feel wanted. Someone to kiss.
The thought makes me catch my breath. When I was a kid—before Daddy died—I thought all things were possible. But that was a long time ago. I bury the dark thoughts in those recesses of my mind I never visit.
For today, I’ll pretend he’s mine and I am his. A harmless ruse, only to protect the failing heart of his little old grandma.
Chapter Five
If the Ring Fits
Makenna
The following day, Jared arrives at eight in the morning and takes Ryder to his place. I’m grateful that Ryder doesn’t fuss about leaving with his dad. During the few times that Jared has taken him for visitation, everything has gone well. Still, I fret over whether Jared will take care of Ryder like I do.
After they leave, I wander through the silent house from room to room, picking up toys and books.
It takes me a while to get settled, but I finally get to work on some song lyrics for a new singer in country music. Satellite Records have signed Stacia, a girl who looks like she belongs on a New York fashion runway in lingerie and wings. Too bad her previous song lyrics sound like Ryder wrote them.
So Satellite hired me to ghost write her songs. They can turn anyone into a star with a catchy tune.
I sit in my favorite chair and rest the acoustic guitar on my lap. In a few minutes, I’m able to strum a few chords, firmly closing the lid on the worry box in my brain.
He makes the sun shine,
Makes the poems rhyme,
Makes the clocks chime.
Blah, blah, blah. Ugh. What’s wrong with me? Next, I’ll be grabbing a Dr. Seuss book for inspiration. I hum again.
He’s my heart surgeon,
Stopping all the blood flow,
He’s not afraid of complications,
When the—
Wait. Stopping the blood flow means you’re dead. Maybe there’s no blood flow to my brain this morning.
My mind wanders to what Ryder might be doing at Jared’s. Then the traitor tiptoes over to Aiden. I think about his rumbly, low voice. His intense gaze. His square jaw with that stubble I can imagine scraping along my neck. I release a sigh, a sound expressing longing and pleasure.
The buzz of my cell phone interrupts my daydreaming. I glance at the number. It’s like the man sensed I was thinking about him. “Hello.”
“Hi. I hope I didn’t catch you too busy. I need to ask a favor,” he says. “Another favor.”
“What is it?”
“I’m at the hospital.”
I hop up from the chair, wincing as the guitar hits the floor. Thwang. “Are you OK?” Fear punches me in the solar plexus, causing me to bend and try to catch my breath.
“It’s not me. It’s Nonna. And…this is embarrassing. She’s asking for you. I know we talked about tonight, but I have a bad feeling about this. I need you now. Bring Ryder or whatever you have to do, but please come.”
My pulse quickens. I walk to the bedroom to grab my sneakers. “Ry is with his dad.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds. “They want to run some tests. She’s throwing a tantrum about it, so I promised you would come up here if she would let these people do their jobs. Can you come?”
“Yes. Text me the hospital room number or where to go.”
“Makenna?”
I slip my feet into my shoes, grab my bag, and rush out the door. “Yeah?”
“Thanks. This means a lot to me.” The line goes silent.
Twenty minutes later, I’m inside the hospital and reading Aiden’s text as I find my way to the third floor. Aiden waits for me at the threshold of his grandmother’s room.
“You made it,” he says. His crooked smile doesn’t match his worried eyes. “Come on in.”
My belly does a nervous flip at the sight of him. Did I remember he’s this good-looking, with his dark hair and light eyes?
We aren’t alone with Nonna. A nurse types notes into a mobile device in the corner of the room.
Although I swear I didn’t make any noise when walking in, Nonna’s eyes open and she finds me immediately. “Mak.”
“Hey, Nonna.”
She motions for me to come closer. “Did you know they won’t let me go home?”
I go and take the hand she holds out. “I guess doctors know best.”
“Doctors. They are all gitano!” she says.
“Nonna,” Aiden scolds. “Be a good patient. The doctors here may speak Sicilian.”
“They want to do surgery, but I’m well.” Her raspy voice shakes.
“It’s good you feel better.” I glance at the machines beside her bed—a heart monitor and IV pump.
“I asked Aiden about your ring.” She rubs her bony fingers along my hand. I wear several rings, but the left ring finger stays bare.
“I told her,” Aiden says while scrubbing a hand along the back of his neck, “that we didn’t have time to go ring shopping right now.”
She ignores him and closes her eyes. “Aiden?”
“Nonna,” he says.
“I am speaking to Mak.” She opens her eyes and meets my gaze. “Aiden has a ring for you today. A very special ring. The ring that my Antonio gave me sixty-five years ago.”
What is going on? I panic and try to pull my hand from hers, but she’s strong. What has this woman been doing? Weightlifting?
“Nonna,” Aiden says. “Be easy.”
Nonna releases
my hand and my heartbeat slides down a notch.
“Hi,” says the nurse who looks up from her chart. “You must be the fiancée that Mrs. Alesini has been waiting to see.”
“She’s lovely, isn’t she?” Nonna shakes her head. “Built the way Aiden likes them. I didn’t like that girlfriend from college with the skinny legs and puffy lips.”
My gaze swings to meet Aiden’s. A faint tingle of pleasure motors down to my belly.
“He says you’ll get married soon,” Nonna says. “You need to know everything there is to know about one another.”
“Nonna.” Aiden stands. “This can wait until you get well.” He gives me an are-we-having-fun-yet look with lifted eyebrows and a huge smile.
“They have ministers here,” Nonna hints coyly.
I take a step back. “There’s no hurry.” Gulping, I hide my alarm. “We have plenty of time later.”
The nurse exchanges one bag of fluid for another on the IV stand. “I need to check your grandmother in private. If you’ll both step out for a minute…”
Aiden takes a couple of steps toward the hospital bed, leans over and kisses Nonna on the cheek. “You can talk to Makenna after the tests. Right? Now, be good for the doctors and get some rest. We’ll take a quick walk. We won’t leave.”
“No sex. Come right back,” Nonna says.
The nurse chuckles. “No empty beds in this place. We’re full up with patients tonight.”
“They don’t need a bed,” Nonna smirks.
I turn and exit the room, my cheeks warm and my breath coming a little faster at the thought of sex with him.
I don’t wait to see if he follows, but I feel his presence behind me. At the end of the hallway, I stop suddenly and twirl. He puts his hands out and grasps my shoulders. “Slow down.”
“I don’t know about a ring. This is going further than I thought it would.”
“I’m desperate to keep Nonna’s spirits up. It’s only a ring. A piece of metal.” He takes my hand, his strong fingers gently caressing my trembling ones. “Please. She got upset when she found out you weren’t wearing my ring. The hospital removed her jewelry and she had it in her purse. She says she wants you to have it because my future wife is supposed to wear it. It’s only until she’s better. You know?”
Slipping the ring on my left finger, his hand shakes only slightly less than mine. “See? Only a ring.”
I spread my fingers and hold my hand up. The ring fits perfectly, as if Aiden has picked this out with my ring size in mind. “It’s so…so big. And obvious and expensive.” There’s a rectangular aquamarine jewel in the middle of too many diamonds for me to process. “What if I lose it?”
“Don’t be silly.” He rubs my shoulders.
My heartbeat thrums so loud it’s all I can hear. “I’m probably going to lose it,” I say as I start to pull the ring off.
“The doc said to keep Nonna calm. If she finds out the truth, she’ll be crushed. It’s just a little pretend between friends. This could save her life today. I know it’s crazy and unconventional, to ask this much when you don’t really know me. But did you see the woman’s face in there? Did you see that hope you gave her? I’m in awe of what you’ve done for me already.”
I look into his eyes. His eyebrows dip in a silent plea. Man, this guy is more adorable than a puppy, as huggable as a panda, and more dangerous than a tiger.
He’s not asking much. I have to wear a ring. So what? “OK. But only until Nonna’s better. Then we need a convenient and amiable breakup.”
“You only have to say the word and it’s over. I’m at your mercy.”
“Yes. You certainly are. And you really owe me. Big time.”
“Let me start with coffee. We’ll go back in afterward so you can tell Nonna bye. I’m going to hang around here today.”
“Sure. Coffee speaks to my heart.” I walk with him down a corridor. “Aiden,” I say and glance sidelong at him. “I’m not a good liar. What if she asks me something that should be easy? I don’t know enough about you to carry this charade very far.”
“Well, we can fix that.” He slows his stride and then suddenly turns. “We date. For real. Nothing heavy. Just fun times until Nonna is better and we can stop pretending we’re engaged. I treat you to anything you want—dinners, movies, coffee binging. You name it. It’s the least I can do.”
I’m unnerved by how tempting it all sounds. There’s a flaw to this plan, but I can’t put my finger on it. “What if I tell you that I don’t really go on dates ’cause it’s not fair to my son? Ryder goes where I go most of the time, and I’m not leaving my three-year-old with a babysitter so I can go out and party.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Aiden opens the door to the hospital cafeteria and lets me enter first. “Me, you, and Ryder go on dates together. If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
I have no argument for this. Besides, it probably won’t last long. Either Nonna will get well quickly or Aiden will discover that dating with a kid along is tough.
The line at the coffee counter moves quickly. I let Aiden buy me a drink and we take our paper cups back to the room. The nurse tells us that they’ve already taken Nonna for her dye test and it will be hours before she’s back and alert. So, I say my good-byes to Aiden and head home.
The rest of the day flies. I try to focus on writing lyrics and not on Mr. Tall, Dark, and Tempting Aiden. Before long, it's time to pick up Ryder. I get in my car and speed dial Jared.
He answers on the second ring. “Hello.”
“Hi. I’m on my way to pick him up. Can you gather up his things?”
“OK. Want to eat with us?”
What is his game? “Uh, no. I’ll just grab him and head back home.”
“All right. He’ll be ready.”
Uneasy paranoia trickles along my spine. Why would he ask me to have dinner with them? To tamp down my eternal distrust, I turn up the stereo and concentrate on the music.
Music by Pearl Jam and Nirvana does wonders when I want to get outside my head. They sing words so I don’t have to make new ones in my head, a bad habit of mine when listening to other types of music.
I turn it up even louder to a level that thrums along my skin. By the time I arrive at the iron gates of Jared’s ranch, I’m in a better state of mind.
I stop and press the intercom button at the gate and announce my name. The metal doors open for me.
Jared stands in the doorway of what I mockingly call his palace and he calls a ranch. I park and look around for him, wondering where Ryder is.
“Hi,” he says and ambles forward. “How’ve you been?”
Really? He wants me to sum up my days of single parenthood now?
“Good. You?” The tight feeling in my chest returns.
“I’ve been OK. How can I complain?” He meets me and stops so I can’t continue. We stand awkwardly, like two ex-lovers who haven’t quite transitioned to friends.
“You can’t,” I say and force a smile. “Look at you. One hit after another. They can’t get enough.”
“All because of you,” he says and steps aside, so we can walk to the front door.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” My words come out gruff.
“I’m not. That song paved the road for the rest. You don’t know what a breakout hit does.”
Oh yes, I do. I watched you demonstrate what it does.
“I’m happy for your success,” I said. “You’re a great singer. You were meant to sing that song.” I pause and take a breath. “Where’s Ryder?”
“Terri is watching him for a minute.” He waves a hand toward the still open door and I walk inside.
I’ve spoken to Terri a handful of times this year. She’s an older, cheerful woman who runs Jared’s household.
“Ryder’s great. So funny.” Jared sits in a club chair. His action forces me either to take a seat or loom over him. I want to grab my kid and get out. He must sense my anxiety, because he waves toward the sofa. “Please.
Sit down for a minute. You just got here.”
“I know he’s great.” I take a seat with my rear on the edge, letting him know I don’t plan to get comfortable.
“Can we talk about what happened when I left?”
I get to my feet and begin pacing. “Jared, it was a long time ago. You got married. If you remember, you knew I was pregnant and assumed it wasn’t yours even though I told you the truth. You made your choice—Nina. Why are you bringing this up now?”
“I filed for divorce.”
I freeze and stare at him. “That doesn’t change a thing.”
“It does. And I’m not going back on tour for the rest of the year.”
I shake my head and make an angry sound deep in my throat. “We have a legal agreement for visitation. Ryder is happy. And I realize he is fond of you already—”
“Fond? He’s my kid. Do you hear yourself?”
My temper, kept in check earlier, boils near the surface. “What do you want? If I need to get my attorney involved, I will.”
Jared stares at his boots before getting to his feet. “I think he needs a man around. Someone to show him things a woman can’t.” Now his voice holds an anger that matches mine.
Fear prickles along my nerves and sets my skin on fire. My face and my neck grow warm. I can’t catch my breath. He has money, fame, everything. And a penis. How can I compete with a penis? “Do you realize how chauvinistic you sound?”
“I’m a man. That’s how we think. Who’s going to show him how to fish and fight and—”
“I can do all of that. And not everyone thinks like you, Jared.”
“You need a man around. A man like me.”
I imagine shoving him. Hard. If I were somebody like Aiden, I’d beat the snot out of him… “As far as the male thing goes, well, I have someone around. So, non-issue.” I rub Nonna’s ring with my thumb.
He narrows his eyes. “Who is he?”
“His name is Aiden,” I blurt without a thought or conscience or plan.
“Mommy?” the child’s husky voice behind me asks, saving me from explaining anything more about Aiden.
I whirl around. “Baby. Mommy’s so glad to see you.” I go to my knees and hold out my arms. Ryder is Jared’s miniature in every way—from his almond-shaped, huge eyes to the way he stands with his chin out.
